am i over sensitive? help needed.
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me & him goin reach 6 mths alreadly. but i still cant get over the fact that he had a should be existing child with his ex. she went for abortion and he say he feel so stressful that he broke up with her. sometimes he still think of her and tt child but he say he think of them only. he never dwell in the past. i asked him if time cn go back, would he haf break up wif her, he answer no. does that means he still love her?
last nite i told him how i feel. i dun noe he cn luv me mre den her or even as much as her. his replied was "that is still open to qns". i don't know how to deal with his past.
he knows his god sis likes him.(he told me)
there is 1 god sis everyday sms him asking him how's his day? i dun know are they the same person. but is it normal for a gal to always sms a guy askin how's his day? or m i too sensitive? he always say that i'm narrow minded. unreasonable.
is it normal for a guy hu is attached to play ard wif gals like pokin each other. hitting each other head? my church cellgroup gt 1 gal knows we are tgt but she still do all those things to him and look for him even though there are other people she cn turn to. she doesn't even bother go call other people but only call my bf. my bf is tired of quarrellin & explaining to me so he starts to kind of avoid her. but she still don't care.
he always say because of me he had stopped replied his god sis sms and avoiding my cellgrp that gal BUT if u really avoid a person, wont they sense it and let it be? after a few mths of avoidin dey still keep lookin for him?
i dun understand. the frens around me give up if cannot reach a person a few times but why his female friends so persistent? i sumtimes really wonder did he really avoid them or he is jus lyin and replied 'em when i not around.
alot of times i cant seems to trust him. and its my fault? mayb yes mayb no.
yes mayb i over sensitive.
no because of different things he did.
he once told me all the people he added in face book are people he know. the other day i jus saw he add a gal he don't know. he say rules are man-make. can be flexible.
sumtimes he says he's tired and wanted to slp. nxt dae told me so-&-so call him last nite after we hanged up. haiz.. he explain he oso told 'em he is tired wan to slp. but when at nite i call him sumtimes he never answer. why his fren call him he heard the ringtone when i call him, he slp so soundly?
in camp he sae he busy cannot reply me. at home he say he doin something cannot reply me fast enough. but he can talk to his female fren. he say its my fault i attachment cannot call him talk.
whenever we quarrelled, end up always i go back look for him. he will then defend himself say he did stop me. he did tried to coax me and its my fault i don't sense it.
i seriously dun noe how to hold on. alot of times i wanted to and had told him i want to break. he never stop me. he only ask me is that what i really want? 1 time he even ask me to leave.
yet he still claim he luv me mre den his ex if put on same timeline. which mean he wif her 6 mths still he luv me mre when he wif me 6 mths. den he wif her 1 yrs plus we only 6 mths. wad it means? he really still luv her mre rite? or m i wrong?
wad shd i do? i wanted to gif up but i oso luv him alot. haiz...
sumtimes he and tt cell grp gal makes me dun feel lik goin to church and cellgroup. haiz.. even once i saw them winkin at each other playfully. is tt flirt or wad? do i nd see a counsellor about my sentivity , narrow mind? haiz...
me & him goin reach 6 mths alreadly. but i still cant get over the fact that he had a should be existing child with his ex. she went for abortion and he say he feel so stressful that he broke up with her. sometimes he still think of her and tt child but he say he think of them only. he never dwell in the past. i asked him if time cn go back, would he haf break up wif her, he answer no. does that means he still love her?
last nite i told him how i feel. i dun noe he cn luv me mre den her or even as much as her. his replied was "that is still open to qns". i don't know how to deal with his past.
he knows his god sis likes him.(he told me)
there is 1 god sis everyday sms him asking him how's his day? i dun know are they the same person. but is it normal for a gal to always sms a guy askin how's his day? or m i too sensitive? he always say that i'm narrow minded. unreasonable.
is it normal for a guy hu is attached to play ard wif gals like pokin each other. hitting each other head? my church cellgroup gt 1 gal knows we are tgt but she still do all those things to him and look for him even though there are other people she cn turn to. she doesn't even bother go call other people but only call my bf. my bf is tired of quarrellin & explaining to me so he starts to kind of avoid her. but she still don't care.
he always say because of me he had stopped replied his god sis sms and avoiding my cellgrp that gal BUT if u really avoid a person, wont they sense it and let it be? after a few mths of avoidin dey still keep lookin for him?
i dun understand. the frens around me give up if cannot reach a person a few times but why his female friends so persistent? i sumtimes really wonder did he really avoid them or he is jus lyin and replied 'em when i not around.
alot of times i cant seems to trust him. and its my fault? mayb yes mayb no.
yes mayb i over sensitive.
no because of different things he did.
he once told me all the people he added in face book are people he know. the other day i jus saw he add a gal he don't know. he say rules are man-make. can be flexible.
sumtimes he says he's tired and wanted to slp. nxt dae told me so-&-so call him last nite after we hanged up. haiz.. he explain he oso told 'em he is tired wan to slp. but when at nite i call him sumtimes he never answer. why his fren call him he heard the ringtone when i call him, he slp so soundly?
in camp he sae he busy cannot reply me. at home he say he doin something cannot reply me fast enough. but he can talk to his female fren. he say its my fault i attachment cannot call him talk.
whenever we quarrelled, end up always i go back look for him. he will then defend himself say he did stop me. he did tried to coax me and its my fault i don't sense it.
i seriously dun noe how to hold on. alot of times i wanted to and had told him i want to break. he never stop me. he only ask me is that what i really want? 1 time he even ask me to leave.
yet he still claim he luv me mre den his ex if put on same timeline. which mean he wif her 6 mths still he luv me mre when he wif me 6 mths. den he wif her 1 yrs plus we only 6 mths. wad it means? he really still luv her mre rite? or m i wrong?
wad shd i do? i wanted to gif up but i oso luv him alot. haiz...
sumtimes he and tt cell grp gal makes me dun feel lik goin to church and cellgroup. haiz.. even once i saw them winkin at each other playfully. is tt flirt or wad? do i nd see a counsellor about my sentivity , narrow mind? haiz...
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wall of text...
if youre gonna type such a long post.
1) type in proper english especially in terms of spelling
2) remember to paragraph
3) have proper expression
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WAH.
-clicks X button- -
Originally posted by labbishLife:
me & him goin reach 6mths alr. but i still cant get over the fact that he had a shd be exist child with his ex. she went for abortion and he sae cos he feel so stressful he broke up with her. sometimes he still think of her and tt child but he sae he think only but he never dwell in the past. i asked him before if time cn go back would he haf break up wif her, he sae no. does that means he still love her? last nite i told him how i feel. i dun noe he cn luv me mre den her or even as much as her. his replied was "that is still open to qns". i dont noe how to deal with his past. he noes his god sis likes him. gt 1 god sis everyday sms him ask him how's his day? i dun noe are dey the same person. but is it normal for a gal to always sms a guy askin hw's his day? or m i too sensitive? he always say that i'm narrow minded. unreasonable. but is it normal for a guy hu is attached to play ard wif gals like pokin each other. hitting each other head? my church cellgroup gt 1 gals knows we r tgt but she still do all those tins to him and look for him even though there are other ppl she cn go to. she doesnt even bother go call other ppl only call my bf. till my bf tired of quarrellin wif me, he starts to kind of avoid her. but she still don't care. he always say for me he stopped replied his god sis sms and avoidin my cellgrp that gal but if u really avooid a person, wont dey sense it and let u b? after a few mths of avoidin dey still keep lookin for him? i dun get it? the frens ard me gif up if cnt reach a person a few times but y his females so persistent 1? i sumtimes really wonder did he really avoid them or he is jus lyin and replied 'em when i nt ard. alot of times i cant seems to trust him. and its my fault? mayb yes mayb no. he once told me all the people he add in face book is people he noe. tt day i jus saw he add a gal he didn noe. he say rules are human mak 1 cn b flexible. ?_? i dun unerstand. sumtimes he sae he tired he wants t slp. nxt dae told me so-&-so call him last nite after we hanged up. haiz.. he explain he oso told 'em he is tired wan to slp. but when at nite i call him sumtimes he nv ans. i dun understand. y his fren call him he heard the ringtone when i call him, he slp so soundly? in camp he sae he bz cnt reply me nvm. at hm he sae he doin sumtin cnt reply me fast enuff. but he cn talk to his female fren. den he sae its my fault i attachment cnt call him talk. whenever we quarrelled, end up always i go back look for him. he will den defend sae he gt stop me. he gt tried to coax me and its my fault i dun sense it. i seriously dun noe how to hold on. alot of times i wanted to and told him i wan to break. he nv stop me. he only ask me is tt wad i really want? den 1 time he even ask me to leave. yet he still claim he luv me mre den his ex if put on same timeline. which mean he wif her 6 mths still he luv me mre when he wif me 6 mths. den he wif her 1 yrs plus we only 6 mths. wad it means? he really still luv her mre rite? or m i wrong? wad shd i do? i wanted to gif up but i oso luv him alot. haiz... sumtimes he and tt cell grp gal makes me dun feel lik goin to church and cellgroup. haiz.. even once i saw them winkin at each other playfully. is tt flirt or wad? do i nd see a counsellor about my sentivity , narrow mind? haiz...
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Originally posted by labbishLife:
I think u need to stay away from him, no contact for a while. If he never calls u, then congrates! U are free again...... -
really hard to read
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Originally posted by Bak la va:
I think u need to stay away from him, no contact for a while. If he never calls u, then congrates! U are free again......
ya.. i tried before. but i don't know why i just find myself going bck to find him and kind of beg him to stay. haiz...i tried to tell him about this indirectly just now but he replied say he is busy and that he don't want to argue with me. and ask me weather what i argue with him am i right? and say that a tiger don't roar does not mean he is sick cat. what does that mean? that he wants to shout at me again? he say i never see where is my own fault line... really?
one time i told him he likes to avoid problems, he say not all things need to be solved. really there are problems better be left unresolved?
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Originally posted by labbishLife:
ya.. i tried before. but i don't know why i just find myself going bck to find him and kind of beg him to stay. haiz...i tried to tell him about this indirectly just now but he replied say he is busy and that he don't want to argue with me. and ask me weather what i argue with him am i right? and say that a tiger don't roar does not mean he is sick cat. what does that mean? that he wants to shout at me again? he say i never see where is my own fault line... really?
one time i told him he likes to avoid problems, he say not all things need to be solved. really there are problems better be left unresolved?
Ni zhen shi mei yong!!!! It is v easy to find another guy mah....... Especially if u are in the church.
From now onwards, dun call him, dun sms him. Also dun go to the same church as him.
One month later, if he never calls u, then all things are solved. U go ur way n he goes his way. V simple.
Shows that he dun care at all.
Or if u choose to stick ur nose on him, then sorry no one can help u. Dun post here anymore.
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Originally posted by Bak la va:
Ni zhen shi mei yong!!!! It is v easy to find another guy mah....... Especially if u are in the church.
From now onwards, dun call him, dun sms him. Also dun go to the same church as him.
One month later, if he never calls u, then all things are solved. U go ur way n he goes his way. V simple.
Shows that he dun care at all.
Or if u choose to stick ur nose on him, then sorry no one can help u. Dun post here anymore.
i think of that before. but i remember what i promise my cell group member. that i won't leave the church or cell group if me & him break up. that is another small part of the reason.And i don't know if i will want a christian as s boyfriend if we break up. although it is better to have a christian as the significant other. (my church people says so) but what he portray to me is that christian guys are overly friendly and good to their female friends. am i wrong to feel that way?
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Are christian gals overly friendly and good to all their male friends too?
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How do other people that know him and you sees him ?
A third party opinion is very important.
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Originally posted by labbishLife:
i think of that before. but i remember what i promise my cell group member. that i won't leave the church or cell group if me & him break up. that is another small part of the reason.And i don't know if i will want a christian as s boyfriend if we break up. although it is better to have a christian as the significant other. (my church people says so) but what he portray to me is that christian guys are overly friendly and good to their female friends. am i wrong to feel that way?
U are unluncky to meet a rubbish guy. Not all Christian guys are like that.
Nothing i can say abt ur activity with ur group as I m not Christian. But i feel that I should protect myself. So I should have the final say to do the things i feel is right. Not others......... U need to think!!!
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Only Christian n Christian can be together meh??? Never heard before!!!!
I know couples like Christian n Buddist also marry ah..... What's the big deal?
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give him up.
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Originally posted by Go:
Are christian gals overly friendly and good to all their male friends too?
erm.. from what i see, secondary gals are. guys aren't. but tertiary gals don't. guys oso don't. -
Originally posted by Go:
How do other people that know him and you sees him ?
A third party opinion is very important.
from the cell group people they told me he used to be lone ranger type till that gal and the few of us join. she join earlier so ya... i also don't what he is lik between the time she join and before i join. they don;t wish to comment much though i asked 'em before.But, outside church, he is veri close to his female frens.. he even told me is he last time can't relate to our cell group people. he is close to his female frens. he can relate to them.
But yet again, he told me he experience the lone ranger feelin and he don't like. he lik that say i also don't when is he a lone ranger. because a lone ranger suppose to be alone but he says he is veri close to a few particular gals all the while from secondary school.
did i misunderstand anything here? because he always say i wrong, i misunderstand him. then more he tried to expain the more i find it contridicting.
how?
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Originally posted by Bak la va:
Only Christian n Christian can be together meh??? Never heard before!!!!
I know couples like Christian n Buddist also marry ah..... What's the big deal?
their logic is that if both christian, they can grow together and the chance of backsliding is reduce.just in case my office connection disconnect again (=.=) and i got to go at 5pm, please continue to advise me. i will be back to see when i'm back home later.
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Ah I see. A lone ranger.
It is not that you are over sensitive or your problem but it is just that he is difficult to understand. He is difficult to get along.
You may require special skills.
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Originally posted by labbishLife:
their logic is that if both christian, they can grow together and the chance of backsliding is reduce.just in case my office connection disconnect again (=.=) and i got to go at 5pm, please continue to advise me. i will be back to see when i'm back home later.
I tell you one thing, if you love your bf more than he love you, you r always subject to be harmed, so always remember love yourself first -
Originally posted by rokkie:
I tell you one thing, if you love your bf more than he love you, you r always subject to be harmed, so always remember love yourself firsti once told him i feel that he might be luv himself more than me. he answer me , if you don't luv yourself 1st, how u love other people. haiz.. how do i love myself 1st when i place him over all things?
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Originally posted by labbishLife:
i once told him i feel that he might be luv himself more than me. he answer me , if you don't luv yourself 1st, how u love other people. haiz.. how do i love myself 1st when i place him over all things?
lady, at least this shows that your bf is smart, all the successful people in the world always put himself prior to others, if you lost yourself, then it's not gonna to happen you can make other people feel at ease, then hanging around with them, and for gals, if you not put yourself at first, you will loss charm.You should respect yourself not others. You are the most beautifull creature, and most unique thing in the world, instead of watching what your bf friend do, maybe you will find something you love to do yourself, maybe find some chance to expose to other guys, but do not do anything wrong within the duration of your relationship with your bf, so my point is that, you will not be dead, when your bf leave, but if you hold him so tight, anyway finally he will leave you, because it's breathless for a guy undertaking a relationship so tight, if you hold your palm tight,you got nothing, if you unfold it, you got the world.
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Originally posted by rokkie:
lady, at least this shows that your bf is smart, all the successful people in the world always put himself prior to others, if you lost yourself, then it's not gonna to happen you can make other people feel at ease, then hanging around with them, and for gals, if you not put yourself at first, you will loss charm.You should respect yourself not others. You are the most beautifull creature, and most unique thing in the world, instead of watching what your bf friend do, maybe you will find something you love to do yourself, maybe find some chance to expose to other guys, but do not do anything wrong within the duration of your relationship with your bf, so my point is that, you will not be dead, when your bf leave, but if you hold him so tight, anyway finally he will leave you, because it's breathless for a guy undertaking a relationship so tight, if you hold your palm tight,you got nothing, if you unfold it, you got the world.
how? i always can't seem to balance out things well. there was a period of time i tried to keep to myself abit and he told me he feels that i'm withdrawing away from him. am i wrong to do that?
plus, i can't seem to get over his past r/s with one of his ex and their aborted child. he told me if i break with him cause of that, it will be the worse decision i made. he say he'll help me get over but... i seriously don't how to get over that fact. he still sometime will think of her and that child. but he explain that he no longer dwell in the past anymore?
how do i interpret that explanation???
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Originally posted by labbishLife:
how? i always can't seem to balance out things well. there was a period of time i tried to keep to myself abit and he told me he feels that i'm withdrawing away from him. am i wrong to do that?
plus, i can't seem to get over his past r/s with one of his ex and their aborted child. he told me if i break with him cause of that, it will be the worse decision i made. he say he'll help me get over but... i seriously don't how to get over that fact. he still sometime will think of her and that child. but he explain that he no longer dwell in the past anymore?
how do i interpret that explanation???
the logic is like this, be yourself, this is top priority, then if get along with ur bf, fine carry on the relationship, if you don't, just get away, you don't owe anything or resposiblity to ur bf, since he said he will get you over, make a try. There is no rationale in relationship, if you r happy with him, be with him, if not walk aways, the sky is still blue, maybe you could elaborate some details of what happen in the relationship, make you so unsecured, so as far as my understanding, he somehow think of his ex, and their child, the abortion of the child enhance the memory of the relationship between him and his ex, which he feel somehow regreted, make a try, or take a break, calm down apart from each other, think do you really feel so bad without each other, and give your bf sometime to figure it out, does he care more about you or his ex, or his aborted child.
But there is one thing, sometimes, your bf have a beautifull memory with his ex, your cannot vanish it. Anyway they break up, he is with you now, but think this way if you have a ex bf, and have pretty good time with him, will you somehow remember some beautifull moment with him, yes, you will, so the thing is it's not so wrongful just keep that in mind, as long as he didn't really reconnect with his ex, it's ok, the longer time he spend with you, the more happy moment he will have spend with you, then he will probably forget his ex more.
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I think the biggest lesson for you .... should be to use a condom when you two bonk ...