Need to clarify...
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hi peeps. need you guys to conclude for me on something.
the first day of my poly life was such a joy when she came into my life. not that we ever talked much or anything but i like looking at her from a distance. she's in the same module group with me. i finally found something to look forward to in campus and i've found my "fire" to start things new and afresh, away from my secondary skool days which suck a lot.
i decided the first few weeks to make it a little obvious to her that i was interested in her. i never click with her girl group cuz i can't stand one girl from that group. anyways, it was on one occasion that i had to pass around some candy to the girls that i had this courage to ask a little bit about her. i asked her on the pronounciation of her name. then i begin to ask where she's from, i thought she was a foreigner or sth cuz she spoke cantonese, and at that time she made friends with 3 other malay girls so i assume she's from indonesia. silly me! she's chinese by the way and she's a local. that made her smile and i thought the conversation was the start of things to come. i've never felt better in any other days at campus.
well then it was a little difficult to get into a conversation with her, cuz i dun really click with her group in the first place and she's always with them. she's such a doll she never talks to any guys in campus... not at the best of my knowledge. maybe its cuz she's a little shy she only talks with ONE guy in my class, and she only talks to him to ask him about studies. even that, its a formal talk and it happens RARELY. i notice she would only go so far.
she's so innocent-like. that was the thing i like about her. in fact, me liking her was a no-brainer cuz i make it so obvious on that first impression. also, i try to sms greeting messages sometimes but she never replied. she replied only once asking who i was. and that was that. i sms around 6 times but not a good sign cuz she doesn't seem to take notice. i refuse to take it negatively. i still think she's just shy to admit anything, and girls that dun communicate sucks in most cases but in her case, well i think its in her nature to be who she was. conservative. and i dun blame her for that.
first of all, i dun think its my looks. and neither was my english cuz i speak with a little bit of the foreign tongue when it comes to english. thanx to the tv. they even thought that i was a foreign student in the beginning cuz of the way i talked. i dun think its my looks that chase her away cuz one of my friend told me that i am not that bad looking. thats all. he started this conversation by asking personal questions like whether i had a gf or not. whether i like someone in my campus. well i take it as a compliment. i take it that i look okay and added with my western drawl i think it made me quite appealing as a person. i'm not trying to brag here, its just the feedback i'm getting from my module group.
so anyways i really don't know what shes thinking. is she just being herself, doesn't want me in her life but just wants my attention, or even hates me for not making the first call too soon. i dun wan to make a fool out of myself. i'm trying to keep things real. i dun want to act like a fool to anybody. i think she knows that i like her but she's not giving me any good signs or doorways for me to walk through. i felt like shit ever since... i'm out of ammo i dun wanna look like a desperado in skool cuz that would just be a useless distraction in class. i grew tired of it but i was still hopeful. the position i'm in is not good. i dun make conversations with her group much, none of my guy friend does either. their group was okay at the beginning but i think somehow bcos of me, i gave everyone in my side a wrong impression of the girls group. the module group splitted into two cuz the girls group were starting to become such a tough cookie to crack. no thanx to me i think. this happened all in the first term.
now i'm in the second term and it is still this way. my biggest blow just happened today when my friend told me she told him that she already has a boyfriend. i didn't drop my jaw or anything but i asked him how exactly she told him. he said that he asked her in a casual fashion, he was like jokingly ask her and she told him. until now i still dunno what to think of that cuz i didn't think she was THAT sort of person. and i'm having a little trouble with reality my perspective of things changes... again. i really believed that she was this good girl whom i admire. how wrong i was? or am i?
now my question is mainly for the girls in this forum if possible. guys are welcome too. the question is: do girls tell guys' best friends (who actually like her) that she has a boyfriend just to make him feel hurtful or am i not the only one who has had an experience like this before? i mean is it a just a hurtful lie or does she really have a boyfriend? in most cases, is it really true? or are they just making stuff up? i still wanna pursue this relationship cuz i just realise my mistake of being too idle in this one sided relationship. or is there no chance for me at all?
thanx for y'alls reply i would really appreciate it. -
give it up.. she has a bf already.. why give up a forest for a twig?
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well i can't take her word for it. cuz i believe that she's not the sort of person who would click with a guy that fast. and i really believe that not blindly. i am very observant. and not even considering me? i mean at least dun haf to tell it to my best friend cuz that would only make me hurt even more right? i mean her motive is clear if that were the case. to hurt me? that is too cruel. thats why i'm half guessin that she does it only to spite me... but then again, i dunno what to think without u ppl's opinion.Originally posted by Master -_-:give it up.. she has a bf already.. why give up a forest for a twig?
she's not a twig not to me anyways. she's my special someone. you'd understand that when you like someone. of course the twig's better than the forest. i understand the twig better cuz i know the twig as a person. the forest are ppl that i have not yet seen. so live for the moment. i can't like ppl i haven't already met. not like those guys on IRC. get my drift? -
Talk with her more. Verbally. 
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hey dude, to cut a long story short, frm wat i knw. in the very first place she has already got a boyfriend tts y she was ignoring yr sms. she was jus being faithful to her bf. let her go, be yrslf and who knws in time to come if yr attitude appeals to her she mite change her mind. pushg on w your crush will be more like pestering to her and in the end she will tell you to bugger off.
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i second thatOriginally posted by skeujin:hey dude, to cut a long story short, frm wat i knw. in the very first place she has already got a boyfriend tts y she was ignoring yr sms. she was jus being faithful to her bf. let her go, be yrslf and who knws in time to come if yr attitude appeals to her she mite change her mind. pushg on w your crush will be more like pestering to her and in the end she will tell you to bugger off. -
do i know u or sth? how would u know if she has a bf? anyways my trusty friend actually asked all the girls from my group the first time round earlier and he never mantioned her of having any bf. he knows one of the other girls has. thats my best information that i haf. but seriously, do i know who u r?Originally posted by skeujin:hey dude, to cut a long story short, frm wat i knw. in the very first place she has already got a boyfriend tts y she was ignoring yr sms. she was jus being faithful to her bf. let her go, be yrslf and who knws in time to come if yr attitude appeals to her she mite change her mind. pushg on w your crush will be more like pestering to her and in the end she will tell you to bugger off. -
i dont think its normal a girl would lie about a bf especially a shy one. Just dont act desperate cause it only makes it worst, and those sms are just sms doesnt mean she dun reply she dun like you, and if its those sweet sms can be hard to reply1, if she does not know u well. If she does have a bf she wont be seeing him a lot, since she is in your class u got nearly a whole year of being with her...its more then enough time to make her break with her bf and make her yours...its not immoral or anything, its just not nice.... but she could be the one for you so i say go get her..glOriginally posted by spy8reak:do i know u or sth? how would u know if she has a bf? anyways my trusty friend actually asked all the girls from my group the first time round earlier and he never mantioned her of having any bf. he knows one of the other girls has. thats my best information that i haf. but seriously, do i know who u r? -
if u cant click with their group then dont join them. anyway u dont have to join them in the 1st place. y r shy girls called shy ? coz they make themselves so hard for guys to approach them. but if the girl likes u she wont be quiet in front of you. pls sending sms messages dont work these days. dont beat around the bush, act like a man. looking good or not doesnt gurantee that girls will like you.y ugly guy always walk with babes ? it's how u present yrself in public, look gd so what ? this one depends on your skill, not looks. u should be aware of it that "innocent" girls will also make use of u. u dont need to care which group, this group, that group...if she give u chance one man can settle it. if girls give u chance she wont let u know tat she has gf. this is obvious, she's saying to out, what's more it your friend. secondly to make u jealous, if u continue to pursue then u r really a fool..stepping into her trap
POLY GUY
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thanx for ur comments! appreciate it.Originally posted by highflyer: if u cant click with their group then dont join them. anyway u dont have to join them in the 1st place. y r shy girls called shy ? coz they make themselves so hard for guys to approach them. but if the girl likes u she wont be quiet in front of you.
maybe she's shy at times only. but most times its both. even i could be quite reserved sometimes. pls sending sms messages dont work these days. dont beat around the bush, act like a man. well apart from the stupid smses i tried to get myself involve in class activities on 2 occassions. i dun weigh on those smses very much. i dunno, i think what counts most is that at times we exchange glances in class and i mean really long hard look, thats why i said i like to look at her from the distant. well, thats all i guess. looking good or not doesnt gurantee that girls will like you.y ugly guy always walk with babes ? it's how u present yrself in public, look gd so what ? this one depends on your skill, not looks. u should be aware of it that "innocent" girls will also make use of u. can't disagree with that. i crack jokes occassionally with my classmates... but the girl and guy groups are not eye to eye with each other. when we make a lot of noise, they dislike it and vice versa. i think the real problem is my module group. i have to fix that first but i dun think i can change ppl's mindset overnight. i'm trying but it takes time which i sometimes dun haf... u dont need to care which group, this group, that group...if she give u chance one man can settle it. if girls give u chance she wont let u know tat she has gf. this is obvious, she's saying to out, what's more it your friend. secondly to make u jealous, if u continue to pursue then u r really a fool..stepping into her trap well for some other reason, some ppl prefer it best if they are in good term with their friends. besides, she hangs out with them the whole time. to get to her means i have to find a way thru her friends.
POLY GUY -
well she's not shy. i think she's just reserved and a little sneaky. maybe its just her preference that she dun interact much with guys? i dun know her that well apart from those. she's not shy... she dun haf to be cuz she looks attractive enuff... she's got confidence... but i think its just like her to be reserved. the perfect balance y'know? how can i go wrong with a girl like this?Originally posted by Wild_Cow:i dont think its normal a girl would lie about a bf especially a shy one. Just dont act desperate cause it only makes it worst, and those sms are just sms doesnt mean she dun reply she dun like you, and if its those sweet sms can be hard to reply1, if she does not know u well. If she does have a bf she wont be seeing him a lot, since she is in your class u got nearly a whole year of being with her...its more then enough time to make her break with her bf and make her yours...its not immoral or anything, its just not nice.... but she could be the one for you so i say go get her..gl 
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Hmm. You have a similar problem as me.
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which poly?
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in the first place, if you really like her, you should also like her friends and try to click with them.. if not, it's hard for you to get closer to her. You can also ask about things of her from her friends..
Why she never reply your sms can be as simple as she's faithful to her boyfriend. So she just ask you who's that msging her.. or maybe you can think that she can't be bothered with sms msgs and she's plain lazy to reply msgs. She might also be shy, as what you have said, and kept those messages that you sent her and didn't know what to reply u..
since she's so conservative about herself, and i think she's the type that doesn't joke around.. and since she had said that she's attached, i think she's serious.
you should somehow approach her one of these days to ask her whether she's attached with anyone or not.
and for your question do girls tell guys' best friends (who actually like her that she has a boyfriend just to make him feel hurtful).. She told your best friend because she doesn't wants you to get hurt and since he told your best friend, she assumes that your friend understands you better than her..
the end . -
Hrmm
I'm gonna tell u quite honestly that if she say she has a bf and if she has no intention to leave him u better give up honestly. I once was in the same position, took a girl out for about a month or so and later found out she has a bf. Sometimes girls dun expose their relationship to others that they do not know very well. Especially shy ones, anyway she and me are still good friends.
So maybe you can get to know her better wif no other intention and should something happen in the future that would be left to f8 to decide. Least should nothing happen u wun end up wif a big disappointment. Thats how life goes Good Luck
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dun worry, be happy
Bless u
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wah lao eh... you b!tch untill like she cheated you or something.Originally posted by spy8reak:now i'm in the second term and it is still this way. my biggest blow just happened today when my friend told me she told him that she already has a boyfriend. i didn't drop my jaw or anything but i asked him how exactly she told him. he said that he asked her in a casual fashion, he was like jokingly ask her and she told him. until now i still dunno what to think of that cuz i didn't think she was THAT sort of person. and i'm having a little trouble with reality my perspective of things changes... again. i really believed that she was this good girl whom i admire. how wrong i was? or am i?
now my question is mainly for the girls in this forum if possible. guys are welcome too. the question is: do girls tell guys' best friends (who actually like her) that she has a boyfriend just to make him feel hurtful or am i not the only one who has had an experience like this before? i mean is it a just a hurtful lie or does she really have a boyfriend? in most cases, is it really true? or are they just making stuff up? i still wanna pursue this relationship cuz i just realise my mistake of being too idle in this one sided relationship. or is there no chance for me at all?
thanx for y'alls reply i would really appreciate it.
you said "and i'm having a little trouble with reality my perspective of things changes... again. i really believed that she was this good girl whom i admire. how wrong i was? or am i?"
why do you need to change your opinion on her when you found she had a bf? you dun know her "THAT" well in the 1st place either. you yourself said you dun talk to her much also wat. the her you thought she is was just an image you created yourself.
and for your last question, "do girls tell guys' best friends (who actually like her) that she has a boyfriend just to make him feel hurtful or am i not the only one who has had an experience like this before?"
did you ask her if she had any bf? no right? your friend asked it. so she told him. how can you say she is not telling you about her bf? you didnt her ask it in the 1st place.
"well i can't take her word for it. cuz i believe that she's not the sort of person who would click with a guy that fast. and i really believe that not blindly. i am very observant. and not even considering me? i mean at least dun haf to tell it to my best friend cuz that would only make me hurt even more right? i mean her motive is clear if that were the case. to hurt me? that is too cruel. thats why i'm half guessin that she does it only to spite me... but then again, i dunno what to think without u ppl's opinion."
pls... how long did you know her? few mths? everything can be deceiving boy... more over, you are interested in her of coz you would think she is a pure angel lah.
why cant she had bf even tho she dont click fast with guys?
she told you best pal cos he asked her! stop thinking that she is out to spite you or make you angry or what ever you want it to be.
and... why the hell does she wanna spite or hurt you? i think you may be thinking too highly of yourself liao. to her you may be just a classmate thats all.
"do i know u or sth? how would u know if she has a bf? anyways my trusty friend actually asked all the girls from my group the first time round earlier and he never mantioned her of having any bf. he knows one of the other girls has. thats my best information that i haf. but seriously, do i know who u r?"
not everyone will go around telling ppl about their private live when asked you know? i guess you friend asked them when you all just started poly right? and she doesnt know all of you that well, so why does she have to tell you guys everything?
so... i think you better stop thinking so much, like why she lie to you lah, is she trying to hurt you lah or something. she is just telling you friend what he asked. so dun jump to the conclusion that she is out to spite or hurt you.
the problem here is, you think you know her but you actually dont.
and the way you sound is like you are thinking that you are someone special in her heart or something. you never know... she may be just treating you as a normal friend or worse... a classmate.
i know you may not like wat i said and might now be scolding me saying i know nothing... but thats wat i think about your problems lor.
"i still wanna pursue this relationship cuz i just realise my mistake of being too idle in this one sided relationship. or is there no chance for me at all?"
you have to think about it yourself... you wanna give up coz she said she had bf or you wanna stop idle around and take some action?
there is always a chance if you try...
but dun come b!tching that she hurt you again if you fail. -
i got to commend you on your excellent command of the english langauge, and the ability to express yourself so well and so freely.
IMHO, the girl told your friend she has a bf to hint to you that she's not interested to carry on further with you. that should be it. simple and sweet.
best of luck -
No u dnt knw me frm anywhr cept 4 tis forum. I wnt say i knw 100% for sure k, nothing in life is 100%, but based on my personal experiences and those of others.Originally posted by spy8reak:do i know u or sth? how would u know if she has a bf? anyways my trusty friend actually asked all the girls from my group the first time round earlier and he never mantioned her of having any bf. he knows one of the other girls has. thats my best information that i haf. but seriously, do i know who u r?
This seems to be the same case that every1 has. Sometimes people jus dnt wana say thy hav a gal/boy fren simply because its personal and y shd u be kept informd.
Only wen thy feel concernd (bugged) of some1's unwanted attention & who keeps hanging around her, acting strangly..... will thy start counter measures. eg: counter measure 1 - let it be knw tt she is attached.
Seriously dude, as my earlier advice, be yourself, you'll b happier tis way. Peace. -
think he just want to hear encouraging words from the people and not vice versa...Originally posted by skeujin:No u dnt knw me frm anywhr cept 4 tis forum. I wnt say i knw 100% for sure k, nothing in life is 100%, but based on my personal experiences and those of others.
This seems to be the same case that every1 has. Sometimes people jus dnt wana say thy hav a gal/boy fren simply because its personal and y shd u be kept informd.
Only wen thy feel concernd (bugged) of some1's unwanted attention & who keeps hanging around her, acting strangly..... will thy start counter measures. eg: counter measure 1 - let it be knw tt she is attached.
Seriously dude, as my earlier advice, be yourself, you'll b happier tis way. Peace.
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Im not encouraging or discouraging him. he wanted a third party's point of view and tt's wat a few other and i hav provided him. No point in pushing him on wen wat we c is futile. We gav him replys to his queries and its up to him which ones to follow. take it as constructive critic, it may be an hard slap of truth to the face but it's better than having to suffer in the long run.Originally posted by windjammer:think he just want to hear encouraging words from the people and not vice versa... -
well i totally agree wif u... by seeing his reply he seems not want anything then people telling him not to give up that kinda of response...Originally posted by skeujin:Im not encouraging or discouraging him. he wanted a third party's point of view and tt's wat a few other and i hav provided him. No point in pushing him on wen wat we c is futile. We gav him replys to his queries and its up to him which ones to follow. take it as constructive critic, it may be an hard slap of truth to the face but it's better than having to suffer in the long run.
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If tts wat he wants, here's my 2nd and dishonest opinion.Originally posted by windjammer:well i totally agree wif u... by seeing his reply he seems not want anything then people telling him not to give up that kinda of response...
hey dude! she's just playing hard to get. dnt lose faith. she's jus really shy wenever u r around cause deep dwn inside she likes u, LOTS! she told yr best fren tt she's attached cause she wants to c how sincere u r and if u will go all out to court her. she nvr replies to yr sms cause she nvr been in a relationship b4 and is at a loss of words, afraid of revealing her true feelings 4 u. Her frens dnt like u cause u r such a great guy and thy r so vry jelous tt yr affections r nt 4 thm. go get her a big bouquet of roses (min 99pcs) and a huge mushy card for V day. Dnt lose hope man, this r/s is the stuff which dreams, tv dramas and movies r made of.
here's my 3rd dishonest opinion
Hey dude, no way such a pure and demure gal is attached man.... she told your best fren she likes u but in actual fact he likes her too. he told u tt she has a bf so tt u will give up and he can hav her all to himself.... hmmm... go beat the truth out of him man! how can he get in the way of true love!
sheez.... no complaints now.... choose wat u wana hear. -
Originally posted by spy8reak:
now i'm in the second term and it is still this way. my biggest blow just happened today when my friend told me she told him that she already has a boyfriend. i didn't drop my jaw or anything but i asked him how exactly she told him. he said that he asked her in a casual fashion, he was like jokingly ask her and she told him. until now i still dunno what to think of that cuz i didn't think she was THAT sort of person. and i'm having a little trouble with reality my perspective of things changes... again. i really believed that she was this good girl whom i admire. how wrong i was? or am i?
Funny.... May I know what you imply when you said she is 'THAT sort of person'....? I mean... What's wrong with a girl having a bf...? You see it almost everywhere on the streets today... And I reckon that perhaps you should see her as 'THAT sort of person' too if she have chosen to ACCEPT you...?
By and all, about the FACT that she said she've got a bf already..? I reckon MOST PROBABLY she means....
1. She has bf already... (Plain English version...)
2. She don't want to have a bf at the time being...
3. She's not interested in you....
And just in case you're STILL thinking along the line that she's just playing 'hard to get'.... My advices are...
1. She'll probably play 'hard to get' with you IF she REALLY likes you... In that case you should be getting ALOT of HINTs... Which I doubt so...?
2. She'll play 'hard to get' if she's not as innocent as she seems to be and she's SIMPLY out to 'PLAY' you....
There could be a 3rd OPTION for you though...? Mustn't pin too high a hope on it... That is... -CENSORED-
thanx for y'alls reply i would really appreciate it.
Do you REALLY MEAN it....? -
And just in case you're STILL thinking along the line that she's just playing 'hard to get'.... My advices are...
I want to say something here. if the girl really likes u she wont play "hard to get" on you..for instance, u can test her by asking her out for a date, if she's really interested, she'll still make time for u. if she turn u down with all sorts of reasons then u know already..
1. She'll probably play 'hard to get' with you IF she REALLY likes you... In that case you should be getting ALOT of HINTs... Which I doubt so...?
2. She'll play 'hard to get' if she's not as innocent as she seems to be and she's SIMPLY out to 'PLAY' you....
There could be a 3rd OPTION for you though...? Mustn't pin too high a hope on it... That is... -CENSORED
next, dont judge a girl by her appearance..innocent girls on the outside may not be what they're on the inside..some are extremely poisonous..advice here..learn to control your emotions..not many can do that..