The reason why the parents object is that...no parents would face up to the reality that their child turn out to be gay/lesbian.....it is not something which the society is ready to accept.....and as such...i am very much certain that her parents would just hope that it is part of the process in growing up.....They must certainly be hoping secretly that one day she would outgrow the lesbian issue....Whether she does or not...The parents would rather held a tiny hope....Rather then have the fire flame further....And it has nothing do with singapore being a conservative country...One good example is christianity....The anglicans have alway frown up lesbian/gays.....Do u mean to say that every single one of them that exist around the world are being conservative?? Even when i was staying in Australia perviously, i noticed that Gay/Lesbians dun get the nod over there......Everywhere is the same...The thing is only the degree of acceptance...This is definitely not something the general population in the world can accept....I use to have a female friend who was also straight like u intially...due to a failed relationship she ended up becoming a lesbian...But in the end, she realized that just because someone failed her....It does not constitute to every single guys....Oh...and i am not trying to change u or anything......This is but a example....Anyway back to the point...end of the day...being different from the rest...u just have to learn to accept the cons that comes with it.....you also have to learn to accept the reactions from others....And put urself in their socks sometimes...
i dont need other's acceptance. i've nvr cared about what other thinks and says about me. be it my dressing, my char, my sexuality..it's their mouth, i cant do anything. but her mother is really extreme, whether she's les or not. even before her mother knows about us, she would go outside her sch and wait for her jus to check on her. she installs camera at home to spy on the kids every single moves. she checks her sms. and so on..
seriously, it's not about whether or not she's les. she's not giving my gf any freedom at all, NO freedom AT ALL. now she knows she's les, she even wans to tag along to my gf's shoping trip with her friend.
and yes i agree, it's the degree of acceptance. and i would say her mother is very narrow-minded. i see many gay couples getting blessings from their parents, their parents jus treat them like normal couples. im full of envy.
and why should we always put ourselves in you ppl shoes? our lives are harder, and you expect us to live up to what your accept or doesnt ? have you thought of it the other way, putting yourself in our shoes ? you should try that .
don't whine, do something about it. mitigate the challenges. whining no use one...
i'm lesbian.
ohh, she is the butch.. no wonder, her mum object strongly la..
but seriously, i dun think there is anything u can do.
u cant change her mum thinking or ways of doing.. its her daughter and she is her mum.
i think time will prove everything.
cos maybe she is worried tat her daughter is in identity crisis, thus going all out to help, prevent or straighten her.
y not u try leading a straight life from now..
maybe its a good restart.
all the best..
wow. i think lesbians are hawt.
anyway why would her parents suspect you of being her girlfriend unless you really were caught naked. which you could have gotten away by saying you were trying her clothes or something..
Since the situation is as such, why not stay away from each for awhile to cool things off first? It might be a difficult time for you two, but at least, it sets her mum's mind at ease for the time being.
If you two keep going against her, she will definitely do something to fight back, it's not beneficial for both parties in this case. And most probable, it you and your gf who stand to lose.
Originally posted by Reginestarz:maxsee, she from the start already clearly knows her sexuality, whereas for me..i started off being straight initially . Why should the parents object? if this has already became a fact that their daughter is a lesbian ,why object? pointless. why dont you jus say singaporean are jus conservatives. ? and her mom is extreme okay. seriously, tell me which parents install cameras at home to watch over the kids ?
unidentifiedx, thanks . yea we've been tryin to plan all the things out , but it's always ruin by her mom. for instance, this thurs we planned to meet together with her friend. but her mom last min took leave and say she will be tagging along, jus in case i will be going . anyw thanks . we will work this out eventually .
cool-gal, she's the butch.
if my children are the type that warrants it, i'll naturally install cameras at home. not many parents can accept this kind of behaviour, nothing to do with christianity. my own parents don't like gay/lesbians. from my own relatives behaviour i doubt any of them would accept it too, most if not all feel should be "normal", grow up and marry then have kids, not fall in love with another of same sex. being conservatives isn't wrong you know.
from her mom's point of view you might be the one spoiling her family, otherwise why your friend can go out with others but not you?
You can't live just by your own rules in this world. You might be able to do whatever u like when u are young since u are still under ur parent's roof. But when u grow older and enter into the real world....you will realize that there will be alot of times when u will have to compromise ur own principles for quite a number of issues. For if u forcefully want everything to go your own ways...you will make life extremely miserable for urself.
The fact that the parents install spycam or watsoever drastic measures they take to monitor their daughter show a low level of acceptance towards their daughter sexual preferences...But in no way, are they wrong and neither are they right in doing so. They are just doing whatever they can to try to change change their daughter sexual preference to something the general society can accept.
As for other's parents who have comes to term with the fact that their daughters/sons are gay/lesbians....there is really nothing to be envy of....i am sure that the journey for them to come to terms with something that is out of the society norm is not easy. Who knows somesday the same can be say for ur ownselves.
As for why u need to learn to put urself in other's ppl shoes is beocz only by doing so will u realized that life is not as hard as it seems. Coz different ppl will have different views toward what they deem are wrong or right...In this world, right or wrong is only a thin line across the other....there was never any absolute right or absolute wrong in things....it is just how u view this world and comes to term with it.
Cool-gal, whether my gf is gay or not. her mother is still overprotective with the kids. she does the same to my gf's siblings. and her siblings are all straight and are still kids . and no thanks, im not interested in straight life . im happy with my partner.
capitaland, because i suddenly pop out from nowhere and enter her life, so her mother was suspicious about me.
unidentifiedx, yea we are not meeting anymore. letting things cool first.
oldbreadstinks, that's what you see. i've said many times, her mother had already been liddat even befr i enter my gf's life alright. she does the same detective stuffs to my gf's siblings too.
maxsee, see no point in arguing with you. whatever you said, my little cousin also can say. you already said, im a kid, let me enjoy la.tsk.
lesbians are hot ....
if you like to be les go ahead.sometimes guys are really bastards to make you really distrust them.