what does he mean?
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we broke up for almost 2 months now..
i really cant bring myself to give up at ferst but then i know its not going anywhere thus i decided to move on..
i started going out with another guy... my ex found out about it and he emailed me.
he said, he is glad i found someone better. he also said, all this while he still loves me but cant bring himself to get back with me because he is sure he cant give me what i want. he still got so much to say but rather dont tok about it. he is hoping if we still see each other we can still talk and smile with each other.....
why is he suddenly telling me all this......
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I think he just want to be friends with you. He needs a proper closure to the matter.
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he is a really nice guy
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I think he's just insecure.. I assume your relationship with him is not that long? Less than a year? And yeah Seoti is right, he just wanna remain friends with you.. But I don't think his love for you is that deep. Perhaps its just affection. Love is really really selfish by right. I don't think I can take it if my partner hooks up with another if I really really love her.
Don't dwell on it. Be happy with your current =)
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Originally posted by jusagerl:
we broke up for almost 2 months now..
i really cant bring myself to give up at ferst but then i know its not going anywhere thus i decided to move on..
i started going out with another guy... my ex found out about it and he emailed me.
he said, he is glad i found someone better. he also said, all this while he still loves me but cant bring himself to get back with me because he is sure he cant give me what i want. he still got so much to say but rather dont tok about it. he is hoping if we still see each other we can still talk and smile with each other.....
why is he suddenly telling me all this......
As dinky said. my advice: move on.
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Originally posted by jusagerl:
we broke up for almost 2 months now..
i really cant bring myself to give up at ferst but then i know its not going anywhere thus i decided to move on..
i started going out with another guy... my ex found out about it and he emailed me.
he said, he is glad i found someone better. he also said, all this while he still loves me but cant bring himself to get back with me because he is sure he cant give me what i want. he still got so much to say but rather dont tok about it. he is hoping if we still see each other we can still talk and smile with each other.....
why is he suddenly telling me all this......
A selfish guy... In case his abandaon ship plan fails, he hope u can sail back and save him again. He is just trying to keep yr option open to him.As what many people advise. Do not open any option for him. Stay with yr current one and be faithful to someone who don't abandon u.
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He is just being coward to keep you by his side. If he stil love you, why break up. This guy can never bring u any secure because it will make you feel like "When will be break up again" ," SHIt, this guy like me, should I tell him? Will he give up on me for him?" . This feeling is so irriting, feeling so insecure. And security is one of the most impt thing in the relationship.
Move on and continue with your new guys. The old one was being too selfish and coward, he don't worth you.
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in the first place your ex shouldn't have done this if he wants you to have a peace of heart... i believe everyone does everything for a reason.. see that reason for yourself
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Originally posted by jusagerl:
we broke up for almost 2 months now..
i really cant bring myself to give up at ferst but then i know its not going anywhere thus i decided to move on..
i started going out with another guy... my ex found out about it and he emailed me.
he said, he is glad i found someone better. he also said, all this while he still loves me but cant bring himself to get back with me because he is sure he cant give me what i want. he still got so much to say but rather dont tok about it. he is hoping if we still see each other we can still talk and smile with each other.....
why is he suddenly telling me all this......
Why do you even bother to mull over what he said if you really have move on? -
Originally posted by FocusPoint:
Why do you even bother to mull over what he said if you really have move on?maybe shes trying to move on? =(
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hope is a terrible thing to believe in, girl..
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its not that easy to just forget just like that and i am still in the process on moving on.
tinuiel07 sees my point. if he rili wants me to have peace he shudnt be msging me now. now when he found out im dating another guy. why didnt he said all this right after we broke up. why wait now.
hmm.. im with him for almost 2 yrs.. maybe not rili that long.
and yeah, i agree that love is selfish but different people have their own way of expressing it.
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Well, I broke up with my ex abt 3 months back. It was terrible, esp after knowing that she was probably seeing another guy behind my back. She's currently attached but I still contact her occassionally after the depression stage is over. Unlike what other posters mentioned, I merely wanted to keep her as a friend because the 3 year relationship means a lot to me.
I no longer have hopes that she'd return to me, nor can I openly say I've forgiven her for the hurt she'd caused. However, I could not bring myself to hate her as well.
Am I being selfish?
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two mths is quite recent... so it's natural tt u will still be thinking abt it... after all u were tog for almost two years... (not a long time, but not a short time either) i believe he just wants to be friends and still keep his options open... he's confirmed tt he doesn't want to be wif u, yet he still wants u to know tt u're in his heart... hmm he's not being nice here, he's being a bit selfish... even tho he knows tt u've moved on, he still wants to keep u "bonded" to him... i'd suggest u leave it as tt, dun read too much into it or it might affect ur current relationship...
i'm saying this fr only my personal experience but maybe it's not the same for ur ex... i tried to remain friends with my ex who says he doesn't want to be wif me, and is glad i'm moving on. but he would call up for dinner on days when he knows i have dates with another guy... it made me confused for a long time... i cldn't let go of the rs and move on... when i finally asked if he still wanted to be tog with me...he said no, he really jus wants to be friends... i've recently cut off contact wif him completely cos i tink hanging on like tt will make it hard for both parties to move on.
hope this can help u have a better idea of what's going on. if u really have feelings for ur new guy and are not on the rebound, do treasure what u have now... if ur ex had loved u enough, he wld not have let u go in the first place... u must remember tt...
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Originally posted by asharae:
Well, I broke up with my ex abt 3 months back. It was terrible, esp after knowing that she was probably seeing another guy behind my back. She's currently attached but I still contact her occassionally after the depression stage is over. Unlike what other posters mentioned, I merely wanted to keep her as a friend because the 3 year relationship means a lot to me.
I no longer have hopes that she'd return to me, nor can I openly say I've forgiven her for the hurt she'd caused. However, I could not bring myself to hate her as well.
Am I being selfish?
it's different from saying i want us to stay in contact because of the memories and connection we once had as compared to saying, i'm glad you found a better someone but i still love you even though we can't be together. the latter is damn selfish
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Originally posted by asharae:
Well, I broke up with my ex abt 3 months back. It was terrible, esp after knowing that she was probably seeing another guy behind my back. She's currently attached but I still contact her occassionally after the depression stage is over. Unlike what other posters mentioned, I merely wanted to keep her as a friend because the 3 year relationship means a lot to me.
I no longer have hopes that she'd return to me, nor can I openly say I've forgiven her for the hurt she'd caused. However, I could not bring myself to hate her as well.
Am I being selfish?
Did u say 'all this while I still loves u but cant bring himself to get back with u because I am sure I cant give u what u want. I still got so much to say but rather dont tok about it.' to yr ex???So that is the different between u and TS ex bf. And in her case, she might not want to even be friend with him. Anyway.. don't be a jerk to always think of yrself. Think for others too...
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When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.
The reason I brought this situation up was that my experience was rather similar to the TS's ex. As such, my intention of staying in contact with her wasn't for selfish gains like you've mentioned but rather, cherishing a friendship.
Of course, TS has the right to make her own decision whether to accept him back as a friend, or cut off all contacts with him. What I'm offering is a different perspective that cannot be overruled as a possibility, instead of imposing my opinions on her. However CannyOng, you probably need more help instead of the TS as someone who resorts to name-calling in this situation appears unbelievably childish.
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so who was the dumper, and who was the dumpee ? ...
i think it's important to the case ....
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i kept telling myself not to dwell too much into stuffs anymore.
for example, i know he have been reading my blog every single day ever since we broke up. someone told me, dont give meaning to it. perhaps he is just really plainly reading to see how am i. thus i stuck to that belief and dont bother and just blog what is really happening to me everyday.
thats why i cant believe him. why must now, when things are getting better for me, he pops up and starts messing around wid my thoughts. as much as i shouldnt but i cant helpt it.
closure? if its closure that he wants, why must he still tells me that he still loves me. whats the purpose? he can just simply say, he is happy i am moving on. period. he dont have to share what he is feeling. cosh he knew very well, it will affect me.
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Originally posted by jusagerl:
i kept telling myself not to dwell too much into stuffs anymore.
for example, i know he have been reading my blog every single day ever since we broke up. someone told me, dont give meaning to it. perhaps he is just really plainly reading to see how am i. thus i stuck to that belief and dont bother and just blog what is really happening to me everyday.
thats why i cant believe him. why must now, when things are getting better for me, he pops up and starts messing around wid my thoughts. as much as i shouldnt but i cant helpt it.
closure? if its closure that he wants, why must he still tells me that he still loves me. whats the purpose? he can just simply say, he is happy i am moving on. period. he dont have to share what he is feeling. cosh he knew very well, it will affect me.
u know if u keep giving in to those thoughts of hope, this can drag on for years even.. and it's very draining to your spirit... although i don't believe in that phrase - that if he love you enough he won't let you go in the first place, i think it's a good phrase to begin with for you
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actually asharae, ur ex has hurt u in the past by ending the rs cos of a third party... u mentioned smth abt depression in ur post. will u be hurting urself by keeping in touch with her? does the sight of her wif her new bf still brings back bad memories of the hurt she caused? if yes, then i tink u're better off not contacting her anymore.
it's one thing to treasure the memories.. but the past is the past. does she feel the same way as u? does the past mean anything to her? maybe u can learn fr what she's doing and try to move on wif ur life. find a new gf. and only contact her when u've really moved on and forgiven her...
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Listen to Lin You Jia Yoga's song, BO LE. It says about choosing between the one who hurt u and the one who love u. HAHA
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Originally posted by asharae:
When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.
The reason I brought this situation up was that my experience was rather similar to the TS's ex. As such, my intention of staying in contact with her wasn't for selfish gains like you've mentioned but rather, cherishing a friendship.
Of course, TS has the right to make her own decision whether to accept him back as a friend, or cut off all contacts with him. What I'm offering is a different perspective that cannot be overruled as a possibility, instead of imposing my opinions on her. However CannyOng, you probably need more help instead of the TS as someone who resorts to name-calling in this situation appears unbelievably childish.
What so work up? I didn't say u are doing it for yr selfish gain,did I? U misunderstood my self fish term. What if yr ex hates u deep and yr intention trying to seek back friendship with her opens her wound again? Have u ever think of that??There is a possibility, of cos. But shall we realistically look at the situtation.
There is a also a possibility of striking the $1million toto. So are u going to keep the option striking $1million toto as yr most possible chances?? Or are u going to rely more on a career path building up to yr $1million dollar mark?
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i was the one who broke up with him but regretted it. it was on my another post "when he says he needed more time"..
anyway, i am not hoping for us to be together anymore. i just want this to just go all away. so i can forget. when i totally am able to forget then the hurting will stop. but how am i supposed to do that when im in the process of forgetting, he will suddenly remind me that he is still there. it puzzles me cosh he always do this.
he kept saying, he is not gd enough for me. that i better find someone better than him but still, he loves me. and its hard not to think of me.
guys are sometimes so freaking hard to understand.
i dont believe in the phrase if he loved me enough he wont let me go in the first place.. because i decided to let him go becase i love him too much.
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but actually since we don't know how to the whole thing came about, we can't advise much.. but you know how people always say don't look back.. well sometimes looking back is good.. imho of cos