how to completely let go and forget the pain, hurt and anger
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Sometime i still find myself missing him
Sometime i find myself hating him.
It has been two years since our break-up. I can't really forget what had happened in our relationships. The betrayal, his nasty words and his stupid attitude that had really hurt me over and over again without him really knowing there. I guess i ask for it. I should have just give myself a clear and cut break once and for all.
Sometime i still miss him. I miss myself loving him and his presence. I still have there feeling for him but i know we can never be together.
I still feel abit hard over the relationship. How can i let go of him completely with a smile and a laugh ?
.
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find a new one...
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Originally posted by Galle77:
Sometime i still find myself missing him
Sometime i find myself hating him.
It has been two years since our break-up. I can't really forget what had happened in our relationships. The betrayal, his nasty words and his stupid attitude that had really hurt me over and over again without him really knowing there. I guess i ask for it. I should have just give myself a clear and cut break once and for all.
Sometime i still miss him. I miss myself loving him and his presence. I still have there feeling for him but i know we can never be together.
I still feel abit hard over the relationship. How can i let go of him completely with a smile and a laugh ?
Don't be too hard on yourself, takes time to heal an emotional wound. Gives yourself as much time as possible to get over it.
As the saying goes, 'an idle mind is the devil workshop'. So keep yourself occupied so that you will not play out your previous relationship all over in your mind.
Good luck. -
move on la...jerk arent meant to be miss by anyone
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Originally posted by caleb_chiang:
find a new one...
That's the wrong method in forgetting someone in a r.s. -
deleted
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dont contact him anymore. no msn/sms/email.
dont think about u with him together again. foget about him free ur mind n heart
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Originally posted by Galle77:
Sometime i still find myself missing him
Sometime i find myself hating him.
It has been two years since our break-up. I can't really forget what had happened in our relationships. The betrayal, his nasty words and his stupid attitude that had really hurt me over and over again without him really knowing there. I guess i ask for it. I should have just give myself a clear and cut break once and for all.
Sometime i still miss him. I miss myself loving him and his presence. I still have there feeling for him but i know we can never be together.
I still feel abit hard over the relationship. How can i let go of him completely with a smile and a laugh ?
Perhaps you should seek permission to forgive yourself first? Your inability to carry on life normally signifies an unclosed chapter in your life, in which the door got stuck and refuse to shut. Before you declare that you require a 'clean-clear-cut-break' to truly move on: my question is why allow him (someone whom you probably deemed as a jerk) to have the control of exit in this chapter of your life? Why allow someone to manipulate your misery, especially since he would likely to be out enjoying himself while you are foolishly stuck at this junction, thinking about trying to resolve some self-generated dead-knot?
The decision to move on must come from your individual conviction and resolution. Nevermind if he didn't provide the answer you seek - the problem is about you making decision for yourself to seek the happiness you desire. And this desire is about the freedom to release yourself from the bondage of your previous relationship.
Learn acceptance.
From there, you will gradually understand that acceptance comes from tranquil via the heart and the only voice you need to listen is nobody but yourself.
Cheers
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TS, must go through the process before you can let go, feels no longer pain, angry and hurt. It is never easy, but it is possible.
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Originally posted by Galle77:
Sometime i still find myself missing him
Sometime i find myself hating him.
It has been two years since our break-up. I can't really forget what had happened in our relationships. The betrayal, his nasty words and his stupid attitude that had really hurt me over and over again without him really knowing there. I guess i ask for it. I should have just give myself a clear and cut break once and for all.
Sometime i still miss him. I miss myself loving him and his presence. I still have there feeling for him but i know we can never be together.
I still feel abit hard over the relationship. How can i let go of him completely with a smile and a laugh ?
.
Are you able to FORGIVE him?Do you want to FORGIVE him?
IF you can make up your mind to FORGIVE him and earn yourself some graces, you will be able to let go of him completely with a smile and a laugh.
You won't even feel awkward if you really need to meet up with him again, be it intentionally or unintentionally.
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Originally posted by parn:
Are you able to FORGIVE him?Do you want to FORGIVE him?
IF you can make up your mind to FORGIVE him and earn yourself some graces, you will be able to let go of him completely with a smile and a laugh.
You won't even feel awkward if you really need to meet up with him again, be it intentionally or unintentionally.
I don't hate him anymore.
My heart has been shattered beyond pieces.
Sometime i hate myself for crying over him. Foolish me.
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
TS, must go through the process before you can let go, feels no longer pain, angry and hurt. It is never easy, but it is possible.
I have been through the worst. Thank you very much. -
I think that part of the decision making process is the willingness to accept the hurt that comes as part of it
You can rationalise the decision to not be with someone. But you cannot ignore the fact that the decision needs time to heal. And the time must be given to yourself to get over things. By not pressurising yourself that you MUST get over him ASAP, it helps a little I guess.
So cry if you must. At least take away the self blame that will hinder your moving on.
Someday you will realise that hey, you have gone WEEKS not even thinking about moving on - then you realise you already have.
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Originally posted by Galle77:
Sometime i still find myself missing him
Sometime i find myself hating him.
It has been two years since our break-up. I can't really forget what had happened in our relationships. The betrayal, his nasty words and his stupid attitude that had really hurt me over and over again without him really knowing there. I guess i ask for it. I should have just give myself a clear and cut break once and for all.
Sometime i still miss him. I miss myself loving him and his presence. I still have there feeling for him but i know we can never be together.
I still feel abit hard over the relationship. How can i let go of him completely with a smile and a laugh ?
all depends how u wan to look at life... he may hv done many bad stuffs and by continuing not letting him go makes him the winner n u the loser...u shuld admit hes gone n u wun wan him back... ever tot of making urself better than before? now is the time... n theres so many better guys out there so dun stay in the well... time to get out...
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call my number i make u feel better
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hmm since u didn't specify what happened, i can only assume tt he did something really, really bad when you were together... but i dunno how bad it is. i am in a similar situation (having an ex who continued to call me after dumping me in a nasty way). but perhaps my feelings are not as strong as yours.
what is it that's keeping you fr moving on? have you actually tried going out with other guys? do you have other friends to help you thru this difficult time?
i'm sure you've been thru the worst.... but that's all over now... you may think nobody understands your woes... but i feel that i do... at the time when my ex left, my mum was seriously ill in hospital... he left for another girl, came back and left again (i have edited out the nasty parts). i dunno if you had a similarly awful or even worse experience, but girl, you must really move on with your life... like you said, it's been two years... you owe it to yourself and your family to be happy....
i understand how difficult it is... it really takes discipline to move on... think abt how it was never meant to be. you don't need to label your ex a jerk.. just let it go naturally. forgive him for being stupid at that time. forgive yourself for wanting to hang on. you were just doing what your heart told you to. it's really ok...
i think perhaps you need to focus more on improving yourself now, so that you can eventually meet the right man for you. what are your interests? what types of guys do you like? it helps to meet other guys and widen your social circle... you will realise tt there are many other pple that you can get along with very well... and the best thing is, they are nice to you and won't take you for granted...
it's natural to feel an attachment to the guys that we were with for a long time. but sometimes it could be just a memory or a dream that we're loving, rather than the guy. do you think you have somehow idealised him in your head over time? we can cherish memories, but it also helps to think like a guy and be realistic. chances are, the guy you miss and love in your mind is not the guy that he really is. there will be chances for you to form other attachments with other guys who can match your ideal, but he is obviously not the one.
even if there is really no one else you like now, it's better to be single than to be stuck with a guy who doesn't appreciate you. don't you think?
best of luck in moving on. :)
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Originally posted by cathykitty:
hmm since u didn't specify what happened, i can only assume tt he did something really, really bad when you were together... but i dunno how bad it is. i am in a similar situation (having an ex who continued to call me after dumping me in a nasty way). but perhaps my feelings are not as strong as yours.
what is it that's keeping you fr moving on? have you actually tried going out with other guys? do you have other friends to help you thru this difficult time?
i'm sure you've been thru the worst.... but that's all over now... you may think nobody understands your woes... but i feel that i do... at the time when my ex left, my mum was seriously ill in hospital... he left for another girl, came back and left again (i have edited out the nasty parts). i dunno if you had a similarly awful or even worse experience, but girl, you must really move on with your life... like you said, it's been two years... you owe it to yourself and your family to be happy....
i understand how difficult it is... it really takes discipline to move on... think abt how it was never meant to be. you don't need to label your ex a jerk.. just let it go naturally. forgive him for being stupid at that time. forgive yourself for wanting to hang on. you were just doing what your heart told you to. it's really ok...
i think perhaps you need to focus more on improving yourself now, so that you can eventually meet the right man for you. what are your interests? what types of guys do you like? it helps to meet other guys and widen your social circle... you will realise tt there are many other pple that you can get along with very well... and the best thing is, they are nice to you and won't take you for granted...
it's natural to feel an attachment to the guys that we were with for a long time. but sometimes it could be just a memory or a dream that we're loving, rather than the guy. do you think you have somehow idealised him in your head over time? we can cherish memories, but it also helps to think like a guy and be realistic. chances are, the guy you miss and love in your mind is not the guy that he really is. there will be chances for you to form other attachments with other guys who can match your ideal, but he is obviously not the one.
even if there is really no one else you like now, it's better to be single than to be stuck with a guy who doesn't appreciate you. don't you think?
best of luck in moving on. :)
Hi thanks for the encouragement.
I'm already healing.
: )
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that's a long time.....2yrs. well, focus on the better things in life & heal those emotions.
you need to inorder to move on to a new r/s, do not bring the hurt into any new r/s which you might embark on.
good luck & cheers...
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Originally posted by 4sg:
Don't be too hard on yourself, takes time to heal an emotional wound. Gives yourself as much time as possible to get over it.
As the saying goes, 'an idle mind is the devil workshop'. So keep yourself occupied so that you will not play out your previous relationship all over in your mind.
Good luck.
i fully agree with you. it's the best advice anyone can offer her.cheers! :D
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I realised that i have changed alot since the break-up. It seems that i have grown disinterested in stuffs that we used to do and things that i have personally enjoyed. Sometime it just reminds me of him. Tthe emotional scars and bad memories leaves me a cold cold heart. It feels like a part of my heart has died. Sometime I can feel my right hand tremble when i think of him.. Guess i was quite trumatized.
I have thought about what had happened and i guess i don't blame him all. He has his own reasons. Sometime, i'm also to be blamed.
However, i wonder if my heart will ever recover from this chapter of my life. Will there coldness and bitterness that linger on in my life that be continuing on or finally go away?
I don't think i can ever find someone to replace him cos he is unique. He makes me laugh and he brighten up my day. However, he also makes my heart broken and shattered into million pieces.. I'm no longer loving him and this thought sometime could become twisted.. like i could fantasized that he will regret his behaviour and decision. However, eventaully, i could hope that both of us will move on well from this relationship. It is better this way for me too.
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try this.
try to fly. without aeroplane
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Originally posted by skythewood:
try this.
try to fly. without aeroplane
sky the wood. is this a piece of serious advice or are u jst joking ?
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the only only way to forget is to find a new one. After that , u will start hating him. See one time, vomit one time.
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If you are looking to get rid of all your emotional baggage, I afraid you will need to die first. There is no way to unform the synaptic attachments formed from the romance until upon death(brain dead).
Take your former relationship as a part of your life but not the whole of your life. Let it be an experience in your life to learn and take your strength from.
Enjoy the happiness it brought you and let it enrich your life. Live your life to your best.
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Originally posted by Galle77:
I realised that i have changed alot since the break-up. It seems that i have grown disinterested in stuffs that we used to do and things that i have personally enjoyed. Sometime it just reminds me of him. Tthe emotional scars and bad memories leaves me a cold cold heart. It feels like a part of my heart has died. Sometime I can feel my right hand tremble when i think of him.. Guess i was quite trumatized.
I have thought about what had happened and i guess i don't blame him all. He has his own reasons. Sometime, i'm also to be blamed.
However, i wonder if my heart will ever recover from this chapter of my life. Will there coldness and bitterness that linger on in my life that be continuing on or finally go away?
I don't think i can ever find someone to replace him cos he is unique. He makes me laugh and he brighten up my day. However, he also makes my heart broken and shattered into million pieces.. I'm no longer loving him and this thought sometime could become twisted.. like i could fantasized that he will regret his behaviour and decision. However, eventaully, i could hope that both of us will move on well from this relationship. It is better this way for me too.
everyone is unique. and he's not the only one who can make you laugh. in fact, i'm sure if i crack a joke now, you'll laugh too! ;)
you'll be stuck in an unhealthy pattern if you keep thinking that he's "the only one". break out of it, and you'll be on your way to finding the life and happiness you want.
anyway, generally all guys who are charming and funny can make girls laugh. it's really very easy for them. and that is why they popular with many girls (not just you)!
but does it mean that we gotta choose them to be our boyfriends? or we gotta wait for them forever?
long term happiness is more than just cracking jokes or brightening someone's day. it's also abt commitment. if this guy is super charming... nothing will ever come out of it if he doesn't want to commit to you.
conversely, someone who is not so funny and cute could grow on you over time if he shows that he is sincere abt you.
sometimes i also fantasise tt my ex is totally regretting it. but guess what? my logic tells me tt he's not! he's prob happily leading his life now.
if u can try to use your logical mind to stop ur fantasies... it will do you a lot of good and make you a much happier gal. :)