when friend became boss
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
age 32 juat a O level failure 160kg (start working for jhim at almost 200kg)
been working for 17 years
although i got working experiance but i will encounter problem in finding jobs because i VERY VERY OVERWEIGHT.
my friend took on this adventage and that Y he offering me a LOWpaid job and keep tell me that ppl wont employ me because im FAT.
but i dont care.
last year till now i have lose about 30+kg working like shit for him
can u imagine work 1 year and lose 30kg due to work in 1 year ??? can u understand the stress level working for him........???
but i have to thanks him for that. as much as i love to lose wight in that company but i really cannot tahan his attitue takeing friends for granted ..........
I think the bigger issue here is not your friend, but your self-esteem. Why should your weight, age or education (beyond the fact that it limits your options) be getting you down?
The irony in life is many people tend to bully their way through and get away with as much as possible - provided you allow them to do so. In your case, it obviously doesn't help that your friend probably knows you inside-out and preyed on the very insecurities he knew would work to his advantage. Like it or not, insecure and egoistical under-achievers especially enjoy preying on others with a seemingly lower level of self-esteem than themselves to allow them to feel good about their menial existence.
As I mentioned in another thread on someone with issues about friendship triggered by a wedding, what your fairweather friend(s) think about you shouldn't really matter - if anything, you should be confident enough to give these morons the boot and ensure they aren't entangled in your life. In your instance, it's quite evident your "friend" is hardly a true friend to begin with.
More importantly, working on your confidence and self-esteem would do wonders beyond losing your seemingly unworthy "friend"...
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Originally posted by walesa:
I think the bigger issue here is not your friend, but your self-esteem. Why should your weight, age or education (beyond the fact that it limits your options) be getting you down?
The irony in life is many people tend to bully their way through and get away with as much as possible - provided you allow them to do so. In your case, it obviously doesn't help that your friend probably knows you inside-out and preyed on the very insecurities he knew would work to his advantage. Like it or not, insecure and egoistical under-achievers especially enjoy preying on others with a seemingly lower level of self-esteem than themselves to allow them to feel good about their menial existence.
As I mentioned in another thread on someone with issues about friendship triggered by a wedding, what your fairweather friend(s) think about you shouldn't really matter - if anything, you should be confident enough to give these morons the boot and ensure they aren't entangled in your life. In your instance, it's quite evident your "friend" is hardly a true friend to begin with.
More importantly, working on your confidence and self-esteem would do wonders beyond losing your seemingly unworthy "friend"...
thanks, man. the "someone" with issues is me. but back to Hwaimeng...
instead of calling urself "o level failure", why dun u take the first step right now, and come up wif a more positive way to describe urself?
u have 17 years experience and have succeeded in helping ur gd fren build up his company. tt is a big deal, it's not smth tt everyone can achieve.
u will feel better abt urself if u can see tt not everyone is as confident as they appear to be. everyone sure got weaknesses. it's jus the difference... they appear more confident cos they choose to focus on their strengths.
wldn't it be nice if u can get a great job and prove ur fren wrong?
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just quit and find another job. friend so what? it is still acceptable if he make u work for slightly lower pay.
but when he takes advantage of your help and take u for granted, it is time to give up the relationship, now that you know exactly what sort of person he is.
and btw, i think u really need to make some effort to cut to at least 100kg. 160 kg at 32 yrs old is no joke. with that kind of workload, you may die of heart attack at the workplace. not worth it man.
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Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):
5k or 6k? what ur job scope like?
i so call the Executive project planner / safety supervisor in the company
our company dont have much ppl
2 boss(him and another smaller share boss) / 1 account / 1 admin (his wife) and me
and 25 banganaish workers
basically the account gal of couse only do account while his wife only chat in the MSN whole day and do a bit of work because she is the lady boss ma
which land up all the rest of the job is pile up to me........
i handling some construction which involve in erecting a site office up for Circle line project for LTAi have to prepare all the neccessary doc ( which should be done my admin but the admin gal is my lady boss leh ........... so end up i have to do it myself)
arrange all licence worker for permit ( even photocopy all workers photo as my admin lady boss also ask me to do myself as she the lady boss ma)
change simple drawing under autocap
submit working permit to LTA for working
handling safety problem in site
arranging work scheldue to make sure job complete
look for suitable contractor to work for different department
at site making sure all work is in time
preparing pre-invoice for my account to submit for claims
simple word is 1 man 5 job.
im working under Admin / planner / safety supervisor / draftman / project - cordinator
there 1 month which i need to work continueous 2 week non-stop waking up at 5.30am and only reach home at 11.30pm everyday fetching worker to work and back when we are short of driver. when i tell him i need some rest as there not enough rest for me he also always ask me to "tong".......
actually he got tons of small action which i really dislike
1. call office phone at 8.30am to check if i reach office on time.
2. call office phone at 5.30pm to check if i go home on time.
3. all meal have to follow his timing if he feel its time to eat at 12 we follow. if he only feel hungry at 2pm we have to follow with him till 2pm also.
4. even when i brought 2 pens and try to claim (each pen cost $1.50) he say that i shouldnt claim those pen as i should ask my account to purchase them.
5. everytimes some small things happen between us he would always say i take company for granted and act as this is my own company.............................
(come on if u wan me to help u, u need to put trust in me and let me work in peace....
trying to claim 2 $1.50 pen to put in the car so i can wrote down all note during meeting or watever and u say im taking company for granted... (- -)...........)
really piss......
zzz all those small action can kill man............
i will still be friend with him (but not as close as last time) cause he have help me a lot last time and he wasnt like that in the past. guess when a person from poor became rich , $$$ changed my friends behaviour..............
wat i wan is only trust. if he able to trust me and dont have all those small action and attitude i really dont mind working for him at lower paid. but sad to say this have became a impossible thing. even though i have talk to him a few times about all this problem which i dont like. he usually goes back to this behaviour after a few months..
anyway thanks for all the reply guys , i have trash thing out with him and in order to save our friendship i decided to resign from this job. i think if i stay any longer after chinese new year, the relationship between us will really be gone.
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Originally posted by deathmaster:
just quit and find another job. friend so what? it is still acceptable if he make u work for slightly lower pay.
but when he takes advantage of your help and take u for granted, it is time to give up the relationship, now that you know exactly what sort of person he is.
and btw, i think u really need to make some effort to cut to at least 100kg. 160 kg at 32 yrs old is no joke. with that kind of workload, you may die of heart attack at the workplace. not worth it man.
whaha ya i agreed im trying to lose weight also (- -)..... -
Friend is Friend , Work is Work , there no way you can mix both together
Your boss got his rule , worker have to obey
There no way for your boss to let you break the rule because you are once his friend
And personal advise , better not work with someone you know well , unless you are prepare to lose this friendship.
Eg. If your performance not up to standard , he reprimend you , you sure comfirm not happy , friend also say until like dat
If he decide to fire you , you will think he dont like you or why must be you or not the rest.....
There must too much that cannot explain and alot of never give friend face case , i saw that , with sad ending
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
age 32 juat a O level failure 160kg (start working for jhim at almost 200kg)
been working for 17 years
although i got working experiance but i will encounter problem in finding jobs because i VERY VERY OVERWEIGHT.
my friend took on this adventage and that Y he offering me a LOWpaid job and keep tell me that ppl wont employ me because im FAT.
but i dont care.
last year till now i have lose about 30+kg working like shit for him
can u imagine work 1 year and lose 30kg due to work in 1 year ??? can u understand the stress level working for him........???
but i have to thanks him for that. as much as i love to lose wight in that company but i really cannot tahan his attitue takeing friends for granted ..........
160kg....you must be joking, more than 3 times my weight.........
I don't think people won't hire you because you're 160kg.
You should start hunting and applying for a better job before you decide to submit your resignation. Make sure you have secured/accepted the new/better job position before you fire your boss/friend.
Don't forget to tell him "MY GIRLFRIEND OWNS 3 COMPANIES!!! I DON'T NEED TO WORK FOR YOU!!!" And don't forget to show him both your middle finger before you leave ok?
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Originally posted by parn:
160kg....you must be joking, more than 3 times my weight.........
I don't think people won't hire you because you're 160kg.
You should start hunting and applying for a better job before you decide to submit your resignation. Make sure you have secured/accepted the new/better job position before you fire your boss/friend.
Don't forget to tell him "MY GIRLFRIEND OWNS 3 COMPANIES!!! I DON'T NEED TO WORK FOR YOU!!!" And don't forget to show him both your middle finger before you leave ok?
he already left.
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
i so call the Executive project planner / safety supervisor in the company
our company dont have much ppl
2 boss(him and another smaller share boss) / 1 account / 1 admin (his wife) and me
and 25 banganaish workers
basically the account gal of couse only do account while his wife only chat in the MSN whole day and do a bit of work because she is the lady boss ma
which land up all the rest of the job is pile up to me........
i handling some construction which involve in erecting a site office up for Circle line project for LTAi have to prepare all the neccessary doc ( which should be done my admin but the admin gal is my lady boss leh ........... so end up i have to do it myself)
arrange all licence worker for permit ( even photocopy all workers photo as my admin lady boss also ask me to do myself as she the lady boss ma)
change simple drawing under autocap
submit working permit to LTA for working
handling safety problem in site
arranging work scheldue to make sure job complete
look for suitable contractor to work for different department
at site making sure all work is in time
preparing pre-invoice for my account to submit for claims
simple word is 1 man 5 job.
im working under Admin / planner / safety supervisor / draftman / project - cordinator
there 1 month which i need to work continueous 2 week non-stop waking up at 5.30am and only reach home at 11.30pm everyday fetching worker to work and back when we are short of driver. when i tell him i need some rest as there not enough rest for me he also always ask me to "tong".......
actually he got tons of small action which i really dislike
1. call office phone at 8.30am to check if i reach office on time.
2. call office phone at 5.30pm to check if i go home on time.
3. all meal have to follow his timing if he feel its time to eat at 12 we follow. if he only feel hungry at 2pm we have to follow with him till 2pm also.
4. even when i brought 2 pens and try to claim (each pen cost $1.50) he say that i shouldnt claim those pen as i should ask my account to purchase them.
5. everytimes some small things happen between us he would always say i take company for granted and act as this is my own company.............................
(come on if u wan me to help u, u need to put trust in me and let me work in peace....
trying to claim 2 $1.50 pen to put in the car so i can wrote down all note during meeting or watever and u say im taking company for granted... (- -)...........)
really piss......
zzz all those small action can kill man............
i will still be friend with him (but not as close as last time) cause he have help me a lot last time and he wasnt like that in the past. guess when a person from poor became rich , $$$ changed my friends behaviour..............
wat i wan is only trust. if he able to trust me and dont have all those small action and attitude i really dont mind working for him at lower paid. but sad to say this have became a impossible thing. even though i have talk to him a few times about all this problem which i dont like. he usually goes back to this behaviour after a few months..
anyway thanks for all the reply guys , i have trash thing out with him and in order to save our friendship i decided to resign from this job. i think if i stay any longer after chinese new year, the relationship between us will really be gone.
Does the lady boss also happen to mod SgForums while messaging on MSN?Kindly peep.
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
simple word is 1 man 5 job.
im working under Admin / planner / safety supervisor / draftman / project - cordinator
Admin 1k x 40% time = 400
Planner 2K x 40% time = 800
Safety Sup 2K x 40% = 800
Draftman 2k x 40% = 800
PC 1.5k x 40% = 600
Total 200% time = 3.4k
Sorry hor...even if u are working 16hrs per day.. u also worth maybe 3.4K only leh.. not 5 or 6k lah...
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
i so call the Executive project planner / safety supervisor in the company
our company dont have much ppl
2 boss(him and another smaller share boss) / 1 account / 1 admin (his wife) and me
and 25 banganaish workers
basically the account gal of couse only do account while his wife only chat in the MSN whole day and do a bit of work because she is the lady boss ma
which land up all the rest of the job is pile up to me........
i handling some construction which involve in erecting a site office up for Circle line project for LTAi have to prepare all the neccessary doc ( which should be done my admin but the admin gal is my lady boss leh ........... so end up i have to do it myself)
arrange all licence worker for permit ( even photocopy all workers photo as my admin lady boss also ask me to do myself as she the lady boss ma)
change simple drawing under autocap
submit working permit to LTA for working
handling safety problem in site
arranging work scheldue to make sure job complete
look for suitable contractor to work for different department
at site making sure all work is in time
preparing pre-invoice for my account to submit for claims
simple word is 1 man 5 job.
im working under Admin / planner / safety supervisor / draftman / project - cordinator
there 1 month which i need to work continueous 2 week non-stop waking up at 5.30am and only reach home at 11.30pm everyday fetching worker to work and back when we are short of driver. when i tell him i need some rest as there not enough rest for me he also always ask me to "tong".......
actually he got tons of small action which i really dislike
1. call office phone at 8.30am to check if i reach office on time.
2. call office phone at 5.30pm to check if i go home on time.
3. all meal have to follow his timing if he feel its time to eat at 12 we follow. if he only feel hungry at 2pm we have to follow with him till 2pm also.
4. even when i brought 2 pens and try to claim (each pen cost $1.50) he say that i shouldnt claim those pen as i should ask my account to purchase them.
5. everytimes some small things happen between us he would always say i take company for granted and act as this is my own company.............................
(come on if u wan me to help u, u need to put trust in me and let me work in peace....
trying to claim 2 $1.50 pen to put in the car so i can wrote down all note during meeting or watever and u say im taking company for granted... (- -)...........)
really piss......
zzz all those small action can kill man............
i will still be friend with him (but not as close as last time) cause he have help me a lot last time and he wasnt like that in the past. guess when a person from poor became rich , $$$ changed my friends behaviour..............
wat i wan is only trust. if he able to trust me and dont have all those small action and attitude i really dont mind working for him at lower paid. but sad to say this have became a impossible thing. even though i have talk to him a few times about all this problem which i dont like. he usually goes back to this behaviour after a few months..
anyway thanks for all the reply guys , i have trash thing out with him and in order to save our friendship i decided to resign from this job. i think if i stay any longer after chinese new year, the relationship between us will really be gone.
hey bro,
with your wealth of experience in your field and if you think you can do better than your ex-boss-cum-friend, why not start your own biz?
if you haven't been collecting contacts, start doing it now. and, if you are low on capital, you can either get a loan from bank or work freelance from home, while working part-time for others.
because let's face it.
as an "O" level cert holder in your 30s, it's almost impossible to go far ( in terms of salary), if you keep working for others.
singapore's employment system is, to me, a failure. it's a system in which paper qualification matters much more than experience. one's experience will only truly matter, when he has an honours degree and above.
otherwise, he can only go for lower-level jobs in which experience doesn't really matter, so long as he is YOUNG ( below 26 on average) and TEACHABLE.
therefore, if you want to earn more than $1500 per month, your only way out is to become your own boss.
of course, another way is, as others have said, to upgrade yourself. but that may take some time. and not forgetting the fact that the pay difference between an honours degree and just a pass degree is huge. a pass/basic degree is only slightly better than a diploma.... but the latter appears to be in higher demand.
on another note, running a business is not easy too. it involves higher risks.... and stress levels.... that's why it takes guts and perseverance to tread this uncommon path.
but nothing beats " minding your own business".
cheers! :D
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hwai meng,
I m sad to hear from your bad experience with your fren cum boss.
I think its best you think about it. i used to have this type of problem.but after some thought, i reliase the problem is not only from my bosses, we play a part.
Working O.T without claim is agreed between both of you or not? if no, before you start your OT, you should ask, rejected,then tell him you will do it tomorrow.
You think your are underpaid, what about the account & admin?are they getting 5~6k?is your education level higher than them? Cos different company have different scaling
In your job scope, are you suppose entitle to treat your client for meals? if no , then you should seek approval.
but lastly, its best that you leave the company so as to give yourself another chance to get pacify from another company.
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Work is work.. friend is friend.
Respect the hierachy at work. Respect ur friends outside.
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Can't you quit if you don't like it?
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Don't worry about your job prospects lah.
You can always get a job in Singapore.
In your line, you can definitely get another employer.
If you want to, you can even switch to another line of work.
It just a matter of whether you want to or not.
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beat up or murder the boss
jkjkjk
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tan qian shen gan qing.
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yes thanks for all the comfort and advices u all provides
i have tender my letter to him yesterday
all went well and we didnt say anything he just accept the letter and continue wat he was doing
i praying that my next job will be a better 1
maybe my education will not prove anything but i hope my experiance will help in my new job
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
yes thanks for all the comfort and advices u all provides
i have tender my letter to him yesterday
all went well and we didnt say anything he just accept the letter and continue wat he was doing
i praying that my next job will be a better 1
maybe my education will not prove anything but i hope my experiance will help in my new job
Wishing you luck in your search for a new job ... take care ...
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I've interviewed people who were worst off than you.
I reckon it is important that you have faith in yourself..that burning flame of passion where even the strongest wind would nt be able to put it off
akin to the flame of a zippo lighter
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Great i learnt something today .
Never ever work under your friend.
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With your working experiences, you definitely can find a better job, and remember to lose some weight too. :)
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ok first thing first... work is work and friend is friend. When it comes to work, this two cannot be mixed. As for your pay wise thing what jobline are u in? u keep saying 5k to 6k job and he pay u only 1600? May I know what is ur qualification? Diploma is around that range. Degree starting pay only 2k to 3k u expect ur starting pay to be 5k to 6k? Indeed it was ur fren who hire u. But to the others u r just an employee and 1600 starting pay is quite reasonable for a diploma holder. Unless u are his business partner then thats different. I'm sorry that your mum passed away. Does he know that your mum passed away? if he does and he still gave u this kind of attitude he is 没人性 and a poor boss.
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lol how come the pay in the first post become 2.5k to 3k liao??? lol
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Originally posted by mlmersrlosers:
ok first thing first…
work is work and friend is friend. When it comes to work, this two cannot be mixed.
As for your pay wise thing what jobline are u in? u keep saying 5k to 6k job and he pay u only 1600? May I know what is ur qualification? Diploma is around that range. Degree starting pay only 2k to 3k u expect ur starting pay to be 5k to 6k?
Indeed it was ur fren who hire u. But to the others u r just an employee and 1600 starting pay is quite reasonable for a diploma holder.
Unless u are his business partner then thats different.I’m sorry that your mum passed away. Does he know that your mum passed away? if he does and he still gave u this kind of attitude he is 没人性 and a poor boss.
(u keep saying 5k to 6k job) - i only say once didnt keep saying
(1600 starting pay is quite reasonable for a diploma holder.) job pay actually depend on the job scope that u work at. if every job required education to be the base of income then those with lower education sure die. its actually depend on whether u are able to work on tuff jobs. how many diploma holder are willing to be work under the scorching hot sun ?? or perfer to be working in the comfortable air-con area??? i work in construction line and i can tell u most singaporean only wan to enjoy air-con while Malaysian / banganish are the tough ppl that can endure the hardship in this line.
do u know that there are many Banganish / chinaman that can earn up to $2k+ per month ??? that is even more than me. but do u know how much hardship/ OT they have to go through to earn it ???? they have 0 education but they are willing to put their body for $$$ that Y i respect them.
of couse there are also some singaporean that is willing to take hardship (inculding me but im not that tuff after all) basically there very few singaporean that i can see willing to go through this.
its the toughness and hardship of the job that is important to me when consent about $$$ that Y even if u are low educated . as long as you are willing to take hardship , u still can earn better compare to those that have higher education but only wan comfort.
im a "O: level failure with 1 credit only. but my paid use to be avg $2.8k per annual.
anyway my matter is over. i have sit down and have a good talk and we both agreed that its both person fault that lead to this outcome . we almost lose our friendship.
i believe he will still talk to me again be4 my last days as he actually told me he have plan for me ( he wan to sent me to oversea to handle job, he intented to increase my paid. ) however all this is not confirm yet because i have tendered.
im waiting for the good talk when my friend/cum boss come back from oversea .right now i wan to settle this between us. the good thing between us right now is we have started to talk to each other again and now we are even more open to each other.
any thanks for been concent ^^ i appreciated it.
i dont post to flame my boss or whoever. sometimes i just wan to post to listen to wat other ppl think and can advices me .
i just wan to post to release stress and ask for comfort words from others
sometimes i post to gain pity from other so that i can comfort myself that there are ppl that still stand by me ^^
thanks