My mum's a liar
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u're right tt respect is earned. similarly, if u wan ur mum to respect u, u shld respect her too. u call her names like "lying bugger" behind her back. at the moment, i dun tink u deserve her respect.
as for the license, next time if u really not interested in smth, dun do it. i believe u took the easy way out at first, just agreed wif her, cos u tot tt she was gg to pay.
but remember, it's childish to agree to smth, and then say tt ur mum (or whoever) "forced you" into it. nobody put a gun to ur head k? if u dun like it, u shld *not* have given in at all in the first place.
even if ur mum changed her mind abt the license, maybe she's just trying to teach u the value of being financially independent. in fact, a lot of pple wif backbone wld rather use their own money than their parents' money after they hit 20.
u wan ur mum to ctrl u less, yet u get upset when she asks u to pay for ur own things. can u see that there is a contradiction? u're actually showing her thru ur bu shuang attitude abt the driving lessons tt u do not wan ur freedom.
right now, u wan the best of both worlds. u wan less control, yet u still wan ur mummy to be ur financial kao shan (mountain behind u). but guess what, u can't have both at the same time. u have to make a choice.
i'm really sorry tt ur relatives and mum made those comments abt u. still, i tink u shld try to discuss wif her again... instead of giving a don't care attitude. the fact is, u do care right? it bothers u tt they make unkind remarks abt u... another suggestion tho, next time when u and mum got issues, dun bring ur relatives into it. cos they dun live wif u, they are after all "outsiders" and won't understand. might make matters worse between u and ur mum.
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no pt getting a car in sg..is a waste...road tax and everyth make ur life worse...
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Originally posted by youyayu:
zzzzz u 20 years old i 20 years old...
i got car and soon wife soon house =.= me see no problem with that
coz you ish ASK :( -
Please remember, what ever your mother do, she is doing it because it is good for you.. doing housework is part of family bonding... every one must share to do it mah ... she changes her mind because situation change lor .. last time she shout n you can wake up, now need to slap to get same result, can't really blame her hor ... some 20 years old have mentality of 10 years old, don't think 20 years old can suka suka,,,
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lol....wth
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Originally posted by cathykitty:
u're right tt respect is earned. similarly, if u wan ur mum to respect u, u shld respect her too. u call her names like "lying bugger" behind her back. at the moment, i dun tink u deserve her respect.
as for the license, next time if u really not interested in smth, dun do it. i believe u took the easy way out at first, just agreed wif her, cos u tot tt she was gg to pay.
but remember, it's childish to agree to smth, and then say tt ur mum (or whoever) "forced you" into it. nobody put a gun to ur head k? if u dun like it, u shld *not* have given in at all in the first place.
even if ur mum changed her mind abt the license, maybe she's just trying to teach u the value of being financially independent. in fact, a lot of pple wif backbone wld rather use their own money than their parents' money after they hit 20.
u wan ur mum to ctrl u less, yet u get upset when she asks u to pay for ur own things. can u see that there is a contradiction? u're actually showing her thru ur bu shuang attitude abt the driving lessons tt u do not wan ur freedom.
right now, u wan the best of both worlds. u wan less control, yet u still wan ur mummy to be ur financial kao shan (mountain behind u). but guess what, u can't have both at the same time. u have to make a choice.
i'm really sorry tt ur relatives and mum made those comments abt u. still, i tink u shld try to discuss wif her again... instead of giving a don't care attitude. the fact is, u do care right? it bothers u tt they make unkind remarks abt u... another suggestion tho, next time when u and mum got issues, dun bring ur relatives into it. cos they dun live wif u, they are after all "outsiders" and won't understand. might make matters worse between u and ur mum.
i nv bring in my relatives abt those issue de. my mum bring one. she complain also whole world know.
yea i admit i take easy way out..gotta stop this habit.. but i cannot tahan her bugging me all the time.. den to keep her quiet i jsut say ya okay. den how, cos alot of times i say NO many many many times, she still bug lei. she cannot take NO for answer. so how? what would you advice me do if she keeps bugging me and i really DO NOT want to do it? (yea, for my own good, but if i really dun like it, no point tryign to force me to do it, cos i'll only get upset, right?)
i agree that i rather use my own money pay for stuff i want. but here's the catch: stuff i WANT nehx. driving i dun want lor.. i just dun like she make commitments den nv hold to it de. for me, an eye for an eye lei. i also want to make her feel how is it like to have promises retracted.
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Do yourself proud when you get your driving lessons knowing and can proudly announce that this is what you got with your effort. As parents, it is our hope to know that our children has grown up, is independent and is capable to be independent. Look, if you get your driving licence one day, who would really benefit from it.
You are right that you are not finanically ready to own a driving licence or a car now but bear in mind that your parent have you in their heart. A driving licence may be to your advantage in the society one day.
I strongly believe that your parent would not let you down or would not lift a hand to help you when you are in need. Money is important but is secondary as compared to family relationships. Please know that your parent love you and want you to be proud of yourself too.
Maybe I'm from another generation from you but I don't believe you have the right to criticise your parent
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Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:
Please remember, what ever your mother do, she is doing it because it is good for you.. doing housework is part of family bonding... every one must share to do it mah ... she changes her mind because situation change lor .. last time she shout n you can wake up, now need to slap to get same result, can't really blame her hor ... some 20 years old have mentality of 10 years old, don't think 20 years old can suka suka,,,
yea..housework thing is a must to do. i will do. infact all these while i been doing. but its when she restrict my internet use AFTER i do housework, den i buay song.
is not that cannot wake up lei. i wake up mah. i got alarm clock. and my biological clock always wake me up at 6. she just choose to take different steps. and she got say before, if ur late, u face ur own consequences. but why she must wake me up lydat? late den late, i will kena from boss. she dun hv to care mah.
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i really duno how to explain.. maybe im childish.. maybe im right.. but who knows.. i just feel so damn angry about things relating to her..and i feel its unfair.
there's so many complaints.. no doubt she got my well-being at heart, but i feel she overcontrol.. which parent deserving of respect will shout at the child, smack the child, use towel/keys hit the child's head? and that child in question already 20 YO. i dont think im THAT childish to warrant these kind of 'attention'.
i rather she be negligent (not that she isnt now). cos when i'm on talking terms with her, anytime she shuang she just shout at me, den when i'm not talking with her, she just ignore. i find the 'ignore' easier to tolerate
its all these that make it worse.. she hit me yet nv hit others. she act so nice with all my KID cousins.
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u're 20 and ur mum still treat u like 10 cos u act like one...
20 and still needs mummy to wake u up? pay for ur own internet lah... the way u behave and treat ur mum, u expect her to respect u as an adult? no matter how terrible she is, 2 wrong doesnt make 1 right...
it'll take time to prove u're grown up... parents always think their children are still kids... meantime, exercise some self-control and discipline...
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Originally posted by tare:
u're 20 and ur mum still treat u like 10 cos u act like one...
20 and still needs mummy to wake u up? pay for ur own internet lah... the way u behave and treat ur mum, u expect her to respect u as an adult? no matter how terrible she is, 2 wrong doesnt make 1 right...
it'll take time to prove u're grown up... parents always think their children are still kids... meantime, exercise some self-control and discipline...
read: i nv ask her to wake me up. i got my own alarm and biological clock
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Originally posted by L.lawliett79:
read: i nv ask her to wake me up. i got my own alarm and biological clock
you miss the point what she's saying
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She should give u $500 first before u agree to go for driving lah. LOL...
That way safer. -
Originally posted by L.lawliett79:
i really duno how to explain.. maybe im childish.. maybe im right.. but who knows.. i just feel so damn angry about things relating to her..and i feel its unfair.
there's so many complaints.. no doubt she got my well-being at heart, but i feel she overcontrol.. which parent deserving of respect will shout at the child, smack the child, use towel/keys hit the child's head? and that child in question already 20 YO. i dont think im THAT childish to warrant these kind of 'attention'.
i rather she be negligent (not that she isnt now). cos when i'm on talking terms with her, anytime she shuang she just shout at me, den when i'm not talking with her, she just ignore. i find the 'ignore' easier to tolerate
its all these that make it worse.. she hit me yet nv hit others. she act so nice with all my KID cousins.
yup, sounds quite jia lat. maybe ur mum herself was brought up in this way. u know, the older gen has different ideas abt parenting. she's nice to ur kid cousins and puts u down... maybe because she tot tt she was being modest... a lot of mothers are like tt.. they believe tt if they praise their kid, somehow they will be viewed as being hao lian by their relatives.
as for the hitting, who knows? maybe ur grandma or grand dad hit her too when she was 20 and she has never known another style of parenting. if u tink of it in this way, maybe it wld help u to understand her behaviour better.
try not to do the tit-for-tat thing... tt is a reaction fr anger... but it won't achieve any long term improvement in ur relationship wif ur mum.
can tell tt u really got ting jin qu (listening) to what the pple who post here are saying... u're really ok de...
unlike u.. still young... ur mum's behaviour is not so easy to change. cos she's already old and set in her ways. if u wanna be filial, try to understand the reasons for her actions before u get angry wif her... at least u still have ur mum wif u... she won't be wif u forever one.
how is her rs wif ur dad like? and u got any siblings? maybe can ask ur dad to bring her out more often and help her relax. usually, women who dun have a gd communicative rs wif their husbands turn their attention to their children. bcos unlike the husband, the children seem easier for them to ctrl. hope tt is not the case for ur family, but if it is, maybe u shld have a talk wif ur dad abt this.
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Originally posted by youyayu:
zzzzz u 20 years old i 20 years old...
i got car and soon wife soon house =.= me see no problem with that
the thing is, ur family can afford
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Ai yo.... why like that... driving license is kinda good as it do serve as a plus in job interviews and you can drive cab if you are out of job.
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TS 20...earn abit money wan to talk mature
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Frankly speaking i do feels that ur mum is a little bit too much....he is treating u like a kid...but then again since u are living under their roof...there is nothing much u can do...did u give them allowance every month btw? and if u cannot take it...u just have to rent a room outside.... if not...u have to live and bear with it...no point arguing...make things worse only.
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ask u get license got wrong ah
pass liao is u benefit leh not her
u wan her to leave u alone then u start taking care of urself
wash ur own clothes cook ur own meals clean ur own house
�当大人先把�股擦干净啦
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she is just concerned for u mah..ask u to take driving license earlier..better than u keep on dragging..who knows? what if u need to use car in case of emergencies..@ least u are qualified to drive..moreover driving lessons prices sure will go uphike a few yrs later..is better to take now..
even if she really forked out the whole driving expenses for u..won't u feel paiseh? u already have your own earning ability liao leh..still want to take $$ from ur parents? i also paid fully for my own lessons even though my parents volunteered to spon. me..i, as a ah girl, even feel paiseh to take $$ from them loh..
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in any parents' eyes, their kid will always be a child no matter how old they are~
she woke you up, cos she was worried u'll be late~
yes, if you are late, dats ur problem, u face the boss urself, getting scolding anot is also another thing~
she didnt wanna u to go thru that, and being out in the working force not dat long, its not appropriate to be late~ even if it's just once a while~ impression plays a part in the commercial world~
she was just thinking for u~
jus rem, no matter wat a parent does, he/she will always be ur parent~ she gave birth to u~ w/o her, where would u be now?
i been thru situations similar to urs~ but my mum wasn't the violent kind~ more of the verbal abusing kind~
we were at loggerheads since my teens, and i have never felt she loved me and i could never understand why in the first place she gave birth to me~ there was a huge age gap between my siblings & myself~
our relationship was to the extent of its either she or me in the same house~
i have lots of curfew from her, but i never c any for my siblings~
even when i was preparing for my exams, she said i was wasting her electricity, and ended up i either used candles which i bought or go to the void deck to study~ fyi, my family aren't facing any financial crisis ware we need to save electricity bills~
over the yrs, friends have told me to pack and leave, i stayed~ cos she's my mum, no matter wat she did or say, she's still my mum, the woman who gave birth to me, the woman who raised me up~
its only until now, recently, dat our relationship has became much better, no more verbal abuse, we practically go out with hands on each other's shoulders~
i dunno who has changed, maybe she, mayb me~ i asked her before, and her reply was:
"no matter how old u are, u are still a kid in my eyes. i mayb extreme ridiculous at times, but u know me, once i have thrown my tantrums, i'll be fine. u have grown up, i dun wanna nag too much, but i will always be here"
it touched me, and i have to admit, after so many yrs, i finally understand how to live with my mum, in an accomodating way~
actually, no matter who we live with, there are bound to be conflicts and quarrels~
it jus boils down to how u c things, how accomodating we are, and how much we are willing to take and give~
Jia You!
*It's always a sunny day after a rainy day*
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you're stupid... just go leave her
u got income liao.. jus rent a room
she will be very lonely if u leave her...
hahahhahahaha
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家家有本难念的�
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one step forward, three steps back
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damm...if i wanted to post abt the beatings i get, the swearings i get, the controls and the wad nots, i believe 1 thread wun be even enough.
TS...please grow up, solve the problems not kpkb.
U noe smth? I wake up in the morning to work, afternoon rush back home to cook dinner, wash the dishes, den go back work, sleep in the wee hours every morning, wake up in the blardy morning just to work again.
I STILL TELL MY DAD/MUM, DUN WORRY, IM A GROWN UP, when im only 19.
I dun even kpkb infront of my parents, coz i dunwan them to fucking worry about me. They gave life to me, i grind my teeth and move on, my mum had to risk her life to give birth to me (every mom) has to do so, the last thing they want is to have a fucking devil shouting back at them.
Parents always care for the children. There is always 2 blardy sides of the coin, If u want to think negatively, nothing will change ur opinion of her.
Think of the good side my dear. Really. Try to understand why she do that. if u cant figure it out, its fine too, learn to grind your teeth and live on. Coz shes your mother. U never been to NS, u never know, how screwed up it felt to be sweared at, scolded at, and physically punished, but, we are the hopes of our parents, show them that the efforts used to bring us up, is not wasted, we are their hope, we are responsible adults and able to takecare of them when they grow old, to care for them, when they are unable to takecare of themselves.
we are their child, we are the babies who brought warmth once to the family, where the poor mother weap and endured pain no-one else can to bring you to this world.
Take strength with you dear one, be a worthy child of your parents.