birthday woes and betrayals
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recently joined this school and got to know a few classmates. they had a custom, which is to celebrate other people's birthdays. Other people's birtday they got celebrate for them but not mine. I have been spending money to their birthday celebrations and been chipping to buy presents for them. Other classmates' birthday they would ask me if I want to chip in. Yet they didnt celebrate mine. No one brought up the topic of celebrating my birthday. I dunno whats the problem. I dun have a problem in mixing around with them. But I felt left out. It's not the issue of celebrating birthdays or not its the feeling that Im betrayed that had got me.
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they know about your birthday or not
did you tell them when your birthday or not
how well do they know you compared to the other classmates
that aside, you can choose not to chip in for those people's birthdays if you know its gonna give you a sense of betrayal
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u need to remind them its ur birthday
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Originally posted by thehappybunny:
they know about your birthday or not
did you tell them when your birthday or not
how well do they know you compared to the other classmates
that aside, you can choose not to chip in for those people's birthdays if you know its gonna give you a sense of betrayal
Me and a classmates' birthday are in nov. My exam period is from 20/10/08 to 03/11/08. This classmate her birthday is on 1/11. That clashes with the exam period and we didnt celebrate for her becos everyone is busy with the exams. Then I brought up the topic of celebrating her birthday for her and everyone agreed to celebrate after exam period. we celebrated for her just two days ago and we went to waraku. My classmate bought for her a pair of swarovski earrings and everyone have to chip in 11.50 for her. But til now nobody seems to be interested in celebrating my birthday. Either they act blur like they didnt know or something must have happen behind my back. This leads to another story with a girl in my group. I'm sure they know. They even have my facebook and friendster how come they didnt know my birthday? Initially there are two of them that brought up the topic of my birthday. Girl A say ya hor your birthday is coming. we should celebrate in the chalet. (my other classmate holding a chalet but his intention is not for my birthday) but my birthday just happens to be on the day after exam periods. And nobody said anything about my birthday in the chalet. -
Originally posted by Ed11790:
u need to remind them its ur birthday
My other classmates their birthday also didnt remind them they auto know de. Also I tot I no need to remind them. Now its way past my birthday liao and nobody seems interested. -
Originally posted by mlmersrlosers:
But til now nobody seems to be interested in celebrating my birthday. Either they act blur like they didnt know or something must have happen behind my back. This leads to another story with a girl in my group. p>
The story with the girl: We went to clubbing in the first week after our orientation with a two of my outside frens and me together with her. During the event, my two friends did stunts. I fucking regretted bringing them along....so big already still so childish. fren A kept pushing me to the girl when we were on the dance floor dancing. dunno he drunk or wat. Because the girl was a dancer at dunno wat club la then fren B kept on saying is she a pole dancer. Then he kept on saying imagine mi as a pole n dance around me. Dunno how she felt. I felt utterly embarassed by them. Then we go out of the club to take a rest. fren B keep on saying I like her!!! I think he a bit drunk at that time bec he couldnt walk properly. I told him to shutup as I dun want to cause her any misunderstanding between her and me. I was shock bec the two fags just got to know her only and did the above stunts. Then after that day, I tried to act as if nothing had happened bec I dun know want to blow up the matter and I feel like shes avoiding me bec of the incident. How know shes avoiding me is that there is this incidence. I dun speak to her in msn bec I got nothing to say to her. Also I dun want to let her think that I jioing her or wat la. (She got the xiao mei mei thinking mentality de) She wun initiate chat wif me. But one day when I log in, she msg me hihi hows ur interview? I was like ? then she say omg! ur "mlmersrloser" and not "fren's name" (he is one of my classmates) Then she put status on away and didnt reply my msg. then I deduce she initiates chat with everybody else on my back except me. I had absolutely no interest in her. I wish to tell her can u growup? only kids believe in love at first sight. Are all the xiao mei mei got this mentality? Could she have got the wrong idea? could she possibly be the one causing all the politics stuffs or spreading rumours behind my back? -
perhaps u are just not of high regard in their minds la.
this is not betrayal. u never kena worse before.
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Originally posted by mlmersrlosers:
recently joined this school and got to know a few classmates.
they had a custom, which is to celebrate other people’s birthdays. Other people’s birtday they got celebrate for them but not mine. I have been spending money to their birthday celebrations and been chipping to buy presents for them.
Other classmates’ birthday they would ask me if I want to chip in.
Yet they didnt celebrate mine. No one brought up the topic of celebrating my birthday.
I dunno whats the problem. I dun have a problem in mixing around with them. But I felt left out.
It’s not the issue of celebrating birthdays or not its the feeling that Im betrayed that had got me.
I think whenever you chip in for someone's birthday, you're expecting for a return.. and that's supposed to be a gift. Not for you to expect a return. If so, I think being your friend very "kan kor". And when you mix with a bunch of classmates you have to be smart to know are they the bunch of friends you could really hang out and have fun with? It's the fun you guys have together that is precious? Not the number of birthdays..Having said, I know, weird enough, I do know how you feel... serious
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Originally posted by thehappybunny:
they know about your birthday or not
did you tell them when your birthday or not
how well do they know you compared to the other classmates
that aside, you can choose not to chip in for those people's birthdays if you know its gonna give you a sense of betrayal
I cant find any reasons for not chipping in? we always go out as a group. -
Originally posted by Summerscumbag:
I think whenever you chip in for someone's birthday, you're expecting for a return.. and that's supposed to be a gift. Not for you to expect a return. If so, I think being your friend very "kan kor". And when you mix with a bunch of classmates you have to be smart to know are they the bunch of friends you could really hang out and have fun with? It's the fun you guys have together that is precious? Not the number of birthdays..Having said, I know, weird enough, I do know how you feel... serious
Im not expecting anything its that they seem to pay attention to others birthday and not mine! I would have appreciated it even if they just send me a card or msg wishing mi happy birthday! but none, zilch, zero, nada -
next time hor, if that person is not so close to you, dont chip in lor. Buy for those that are close to you only. Acquitances that kind no need la.
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get used to it la.
the more insecure u feel, the faster u will be isolated from the grp.
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I feel that if this is the kind of classmates I have, I should switch on my selective choosing and befriend with them selectively. Normally i wun hiam anybody who wants to be friends. But now I have doubts about them. Seriuosly, only 1 girl wishes me happy birthday using sms and i appreciated her efforts.
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Originally posted by mlmersrlosers:
I feel that if this is the kind of classmates I have, I should switch on my selective choosing and befriend with them selectively. Normally i wun hiam anybody who wants to be friends. But now I have doubts about them.
Seriuosly, only 1 girl wishes me happy birthday using sms and i appreciated her efforts.ur discretion.
seriously, they also feel the same way about u.
only the serious lose.
either u get used to it or move on. sorry.
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Originally posted by Lorry`:
next time hor, if that person is not so close to you, dont chip in lor. Buy for those that are close to you only. Acquitances that kind no need la.
but we always go out in a group I was being naive lor tot that everyone can be frens. If now I dun chip in for others they would ask me why and should I answer them? -
Originally posted by Pitot:
ur discretion.
seriously, they also feel the same way about u.
only the serious lose.
either u get used to it or move on. sorry.
wat is only the serious lose? -
Originally posted by Pitot:
perhaps u are just not of high regard in their minds la.
this is not betrayal. u never kena worse before.
worse? for example? -
Originally posted by mlmersrlosers:
wat is only the serious lose?u think the others would let this bother them so much until they come online to seek for advice?
i dont even think this is fit to be called betrayal. in what way have they betrayed u?
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Originally posted by Pitot:
u think the others would let this bother them so much until they come online to seek for advice?
i dont even think this is fit to be called betrayal. in what way have they betrayed u?
have u read all my posts? if not I am not gonna waste my time to answer ur qn. -
Lazy to argue with u.
Just wake up to reality. This is how it is. Either u suck it up and continue to have fun with them or u outcast urself.
I already said, if u continue to be insecure and play mind games with them, u will be isolated sooner or later.
Only the serious lose. remember this.
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Originally posted by mlmersrlosers:
but we always go out in a group I was being naive lor tot that everyone can be frens. If now I dun chip in for others they would ask me why and should I answer them?Answer as in ask them why aren't they celebrating for you? No you shouldn't. Not good an impression.
You guys always go as a group to select birthday presents? Or sometimes doin separately?
You could say you have financial problems recently but you will get something else for him/her next time (provided the bday boy/girl is not there). Then skip it
It's not betryal but more like erm, like what pitot said, your not of high regard in their minds. Less important lor.
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Originally posted by Pitot:
Lazy to argue with u.
Just wake up to reality. This is how it is. Either u suck it up and continue to have fun with them or u outcast urself.
I already said, if u continue to be insecure and play mind games with them, u will be isolated sooner or later.
Only the serious lose. remember this.
I appreciate ur post but do I have offended u somewhere b4? I feel like ur r imposing ur ideas unto me? Thanks and I dun need any of ur fucking shit. Ur posts are non constructive at all. This is aunt agony section if u want to talk cock go to talk cock section. -
Originally posted by mlmersrlosers:
I appreciate ur post but do I have offended u somewhere b4? I feel like ur r imposing ur ideas unto me? Thanks and I dun need any of ur fucking shit. Ur posts are non constructive at all. This is aunt agony section if u want to talk cock go to talk cock section.Why are you so rude? I don't think his posts are non-constructive. What he is saying is that this is how the world works, you win some, you lose some. If you were bothered by stuffs like this, your life will gonna be hard probably because you haven't encounter other serious shyts.
If they aren't celebrating your bday, so be it. No big deal. It's not like everyone of us get to celebrate our birthdays every year I'm sure. I don't think you could do anything to it. Just suck it up and move on lor.
Only the serious lose - I guess he meant your being too serious and sometimes being too serious is no good. So just chill
Are you in JC?
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Originally posted by Lorry`:
Answer as in ask them why aren't they celebrating for you? No you shouldn't. Not good an impression.
You guys always go as a group to select birthday presents? Or sometimes doin separately?
You could say you have financial problems recently but you will get something else for him/her next time (provided the bday boy/girl is not there). Then skip it
It's not betryal but more like erm, like what pitot said, your not of high regard in their minds. Less important lor.
ya I also feel that im not important to them at all or maybe they are not that cook with me. I just let nature take its course as I dun like to force people de. Its fine with me because I dun celebrate birthdays with all of my frens de. And I heck care about my own birthday ahaha. But its just that they make it a custom in their group so I feel rather left out. Maybe in the future I would treat them as classmates and not frens lor. seems like they are not making any effort to befriend me. I myself had make efforts to make friends with them. They request for things I would get for them within my ability. They needed help I would help them. Treat them to my relatives' working place for dinner. I think they just cannot be best friends la but can have fun mix around treat them as classmates. -
Originally posted by Lorry`:
Why are you so rude? I don't think his posts are non-constructive. What he is saying is that this is how the world works, you win some, you lose some. If you were bothered by stuffs like this, your life will gonna be hard probably because you haven't encounter other serious shyts.
If they aren't celebrating your bday, so be it. No big deal. It's not like everyone of us get to celebrate our birthdays every year I'm sure. I don't think you could do anything to it. Just suck it up and move on lor.
Only the serious lose - I guess he meant your being too serious and sometimes being too serious is no good. So just chill
Are you in JC?
hes being rude to me so i rude to him. why i feel he trying to impose his own ideas unto me. he say that im playing mind games. he say im too serious. Its not the birthday thats affecting me but its the incident with the girl that sparked off the above incidents. I guess I should change my topic header. Nope im not in jc.