Single Woes...
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peer pressure/relative pressure is there all the time one la... it just changes topic
when you young, they ask you how is your exams
when you older, they ask you how come no boyfriend
got boyfriend liao, they ask you how come when gettin g married
get married liao, they ask u when getting a baby
have one baby liao, they ask you when getting number 2
have 2 kids liao, they ask you about your kids's results
kids grow up liao, they ask you how come your kids no boyfriend, no girlfriend
kids married liao, ask you how come they don't want babies of their own
SO LEH morale of the story is... lead your own life.. dont get so affected by what people say/ask/pressure. Cos you can't escape from it.
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Originally posted by Joi_lin:
I mean that it is when i go out and meet people, once they know how old I am , they start to assume that I have BF and asked when I am getting married. And also this is the time when remarks start flying about when they realise I am single. So I wonder whether to do actitivities alone can lessen the agony. But doing actitivities alone can make things worse I guess.
As friends getting married, their priority will be their new family. Sometimes, there are no common topics to talk about. It seems that both are from different world. I dislike the feeling of drifting apart from friends. But I kind of have to accept it.
At home, work or outside, being nagged about this issue is tiring.
What I fear is that I will become a single, old and desperate lady in future.
Y ur frenz so gaybo ah? I m also reaching 30s, when ppl ask abt me BF, i juz say i m still picking my right one lor....Nutting wrong mah..... -
Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:
peer pressure/relative pressure is there all the time one la... it just changes topic
when you young, they ask you how is your exams
when you older, they ask you how come no boyfriend
got boyfriend liao, they ask you how come when gettin g married
get married liao, they ask u when getting a baby
have one baby liao, they ask you when getting number 2
have 2 kids liao, they ask you about your kids's results
kids grow up liao, they ask you how come your kids no boyfriend, no girlfriend
kids married liao, ask you how come they don't want babies of their own
SO LEH morale of the story is... lead your own life.. dont get so affected by what people say/ask/pressure. Cos you can't escape from it.
101% agrees
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Originally posted by Bak la va: Y ur frenz so gaybo ah? I m also reaching
30s, when ppl ask abt me BF, i juz say i m still picking my right
one lor....Nutting wrong mah.....
Lucky me.. still got 4 more years....
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Originally posted by Joi_lin:
I mean that it is when i go out and meet people, once they know how old I am , they start to assume that I have BF and asked when I am getting married. And also this is the time when remarks start flying about when they realise I am single. So I wonder whether to do actitivities alone can lessen the agony. But doing actitivities alone can make things worse I guess.
As friends getting married, their priority will be their new family. Sometimes, there are no common topics to talk about. It seems that both are from different world. I dislike the feeling of drifting apart from friends. But I kind of have to accept it.
At home, work or outside, being nagged about this issue is tiring.
What I fear is that I will become a single, old and desperate lady in future.
Hrmm..
All ur friends are like dat --> ask abt Bf thingy / no common topics?
I do have frenz who are married / getting married --> starts talking abt their current lives, joy of having a hubby, a bf etc --> i dun have the common topic as them, so i jus let things be, but they can be sure, the nx time they meet me will be at least half a yr to a yr later.
But not all friends are like dat, some will talk abt other stuff, including their families, but won't brag ard like some of my friends do.
I am sure u have some friends who won't ask as well, but do broaden ur social circle as well --> no harm having more friends.
As for work, my boss even had the mentality dat my life is just work and my parents. Didn't bother much abt her comments/remarks, after it's my own personal life.
Dun get too affected by others' comments --> no point.
Mayb I am more of one who aren't bothered by wat others' said / feel, as long as it's not against my conscience, I dun see anything wrong with being single.
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
Lucky me.. still got 4 more years....
muahhahahahahaha BIG LAIR UNKER -
Those who seldom ask are those who are single themselves. But I have friends who are single themselves also keep asking me why I am still single. I didn't even keep on probing them about their singlehood. I find it an irony.
Some colleagues I find them quite bad, keep on asking till the point I feel they kind of look down on me. But I do not want to appear defensive. Because i do not want to give the wrong impression that I am sensitive about this topic.
Of course, this saddens me. I wish I am as strong as some of you guys here, who do not bother about other people's comments. But I am not strong enough to withstand such unkind remarks.
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Originally posted by Bak la va:
muahhahahahahaha BIG LAIR UNKERwhere got lie.... me said 4yrs mah... din say 4years to what...
u think too much lah...
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TS, do u have a very tight working schedule? Maybe u need to work alot of OT. or Plenty of project that rob yr own personal life?
I have frineds who are single is becos of their working lifestyle.
Open up yrself and join more activities if u have the time.
If u got the correct partner. Life will be 10times better than single. Yr Xmas or many occasion will not be that boring,right?
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Originally posted by Joi_lin:
Furthermore, people do not understand why I do not have a boyfriend. I also do not understand why they do not understand.
lol. there the thing. hahaWhy have to conform to society expectation? Relax, have fun. when it comes, it comes. if don't have also never mind. Better than stuck with the wrong type right?
Rearing a family here is also kind of expensive and stressful.
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Originally posted by Joi_lin:
I mean that it is when i go out and meet people, once they know how old I am , they start to assume that I have BF and asked when I am getting married. And also this is the time when remarks start flying about when they realise I am single. So I wonder whether to do actitivities alone can lessen the agony. But doing actitivities alone can make things worse I guess.
As friends getting married, their priority will be their new family. Sometimes, there are no common topics to talk about. It seems that both are from different world. I dislike the feeling of drifting apart from friends. But I kind of have to accept it.
At home, work or outside, being nagged about this issue is tiring.
What I fear is that I will become a single, old and desperate lady in future.
agree, all gals will be afraid of becoming single, old desperate ladies
but look on the bright side, it's not dat hard too. dress up, doll up, many of my "ugly ducklings" frens' r/s status had complete turn-over when they started dressing up, and it doesn't matter that they are not the 'super-chio' material.
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Originally posted by Joi_lin:
Recently, I feel sad when people questioned me about single status. Asking me why I am single and when I will get married.
Just not too long ago, I bumped into an old neighbour.She is as old as me and to my surprise, she is already a mother of 3 kids. I felt so ashamed of myself.So what I am more educated than her ? So what I am slimmer than her?
Whenever there are match making subject in the news, I will cringe. Some relatives even joke to sign me up. My parents always drop big hint that so and so 's daughter got married already. I feel upset and I am hitting 30 soon. It seems like a deadline for women.
Furthermore, people do not understand why I do not have a boyfriend. I also do not understand why they do not understand.
I really do not want to end up desperate one day.
so wat if u hitting 30 soon... most impt is u live a happy life the way u want it... of course theres no harm knowing more singles and socio but dont ever let pressure get to u... -
I realised that even if I am busy or not, I am still single and lonely on special occasion.
I do enjoy working. But if I really give up working hard, I feel it cannot gurantee that I will not be single. This saddens me alot.
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what do you want?
then you must work towards it.
abit offtopic.
I know this colleague who is hitting 30 next yr. But he hasn't found anyone suitable because he finds that the females he meet have high standards; car, house, etc. Hence he decides that soon, he'll get a vietnamese wife from some agency.
guys can easily get vietnamese wife like that. but i don't hear about females getting vietnamese husbands. -
doesn't mean people at this age are married = you should or must be married...there's time for everything. instead of joining the band-wagon and regretting for your rash decision to get married in a haste, might as well spend this time to really get to know someone and be with someone who is the "special one" even though it seems to have arrived to you a little later than usual
take your time...don't rush into things and regret
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Dont get attached for the sake of attaching.
Dont marry for the sake of marrying or peer pressure.
Everything happens for a reason and that reason is not to please people.
Furthermore, people do not understand why I do not have a boyfriend. I also do not understand why they do not understand.
That is because you don't have a target yet?
Marriage is over-rated anyway.
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Maybe I seldom have targets. But I can't force myself to target/ accept someone whom I don't fancy at all.
Chinese New Year is coming . It also means another round of questioning. I also cannot stop going out because of that.
Some of you have pointed out that I should open up and go out to join more actitivities. Actually, I really cannot change my personality overnight. It takes years to shape one's personality. To join actitivities with a group of total strangers is not my character at all.
I will really feel very uncomfortable.
I did went out with a few people after chatting with them online first. Before that, I am uncomforatable meeting people from the internet. But I did give it a try.However, I am really disappointed.
Many people told me that with my looks, I am able to get BF.But in reality, I am SINGLE. Perhaps it is my independence and strong character that caused me to end up whining in SgForums about my problem.
Thanks for all the comments.
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You should try to meet pple with common interests to expand your social network, surely you have some gal friends? If most of your social life is carried out online, and you don't want to change that, you just live with it lor. Pple behind the screen are also human beings like you mah
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Originally posted by Joi_lin:
Maybe I seldom have targets. But I can't force myself to target/ accept someone whom I don't fancy at all.
Chinese New Year is coming . It also means another round of questioning. I also cannot stop going out because of that.
Some of you have pointed out that I should open up and go out to join more actitivities. Actually, I really cannot change my personality overnight. It takes years to shape one's personality. To join actitivities with a group of total strangers is not my character at all.
I will really feel very uncomfortable.
I did went out with a few people after chatting with them online first. Before that, I am uncomforatable meeting people from the internet. But I did give it a try.However, I am really disappointed.
Many people told me that with my looks, I am able to get BF.But in reality, I am SINGLE. Perhaps it is my independence and strong character that caused me to end up whining in SgForums about my problem.
Thanks for all the comments.
In wat way did the people you met online disappoint you?
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Women who are single and available should clip a small flower behind their RIGHT ear.
Men who are single and available should wear a brown bracelet on their LEFT wrist.
The problem with any decent looking male or female... is that nobody dares to approach them because the other singles don't believe good looking individuals can be single.
Most people I know always assume you are attached because you're not bad looking.
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Hmmm... don't be so discourage lar. Reading through your post, I think you are pretty brave gal. Perhaps it's just your bad luck.
If you want to have partner in life... you have to be brave and hardy enough to try again and again. Now, at least, you still got the feeling of wanting to get a partner but once you feel numbed by others comments, the chances are you will totally stop trying. Let this be a force for you to be brave and to be more conscious of looking out for a partner. The worst thing is to use work to hide off this feeling and reducing your chances further of having a bigger social life!
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Originally posted by Joi_lin:
Maybe I seldom have targets. But I can't force myself to target/ accept someone whom I don't fancy at all.
Chinese New Year is coming . It also means another round of questioning. I also cannot stop going out because of that.
Some of you have pointed out that I should open up and go out to join more actitivities. Actually, I really cannot change my personality overnight. It takes years to shape one's personality. To join actitivities with a group of total strangers is not my character at all.
I will really feel very uncomfortable.
I did went out with a few people after chatting with them online first. Before that, I am uncomforatable meeting people from the internet. But I did give it a try.However, I am really disappointed.
Many people told me that with my looks, I am able to get BF.But in reality, I am SINGLE. Perhaps it is my independence and strong character that caused me to end up whining in SgForums about my problem.
Thanks for all the comments.
Maybe I seldom have targets. But I can't force myself to target/ accept someone whom I don't fancy at all.
Hard to have target if u keep urself behind close door all the time.
Some of you have pointed out that I should open up and go out to join more actitivities. Actually, I really cannot change my personality overnight. It takes years to shape one's personality. To join actitivities with a group of total strangers is not my character at all.
Dun need to change urself to fit in. Can alway start somewhere that you are comfortable with. Get ur fren to intro more guys fren to you? Slowly expend your social circle?
I did went out with a few people after chatting with them online first. Before that, I am uncomforatable meeting people from the internet. But I did give it a try.However, I am really disappointed.
How so? You are making friends online rite? If they dun cant be your soulmate, can still b friend rite? Who knows, they might have friend you might like?
Many people told me that with my looks, I am able to get BF.But in reality, I am SINGLE. Perhaps it is my independence and strong character that caused me to end up whining in SgForums about my problem.
If you are as independence and strong as you pointed out, you wouldn't even b whining here. If like what you said, with a look as good as your cant seem to be able to get a bf, what chance does those gers that look below the average? How come they are able to get a bf? So what do you think actually went wrong?
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it's better to stay single and deal with occasional loneliness than marrying for the sake of it and deal with the constant agony...
everyone will have something to say abt everyone else's life... but ultimately it's YOU who live ur own life.. watever they say or think doesn't matter...
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Its how u see things. All things have 2 sides.