How to mend this broken "friendship" ?
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its better to be loved than to love?
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Its best if there is mutual love and respect.
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Originally posted by ElizaSwann:
In the long run this relationship will not be good for you. This girl obviously got no chemistry with you. Better you find someone who loves you just as much.
i know...now just frens lor...keeping options open
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Originally posted by Belmont:
i know...now just frens lor...keeping options open
Don't keep your options high mate. You got a low chance to make things work between you two. Blame it on yourself. -
Originally posted by burndog85:
Don't keep your options high mate. You got a low chance to make things work between you two. Blame it on yourself.i know, i lost the game but gained the lesson. i will improve to be a betterman. time to move on but i'll try to maintain contact and be frens lor
the event changes the person, the person cannot change the event.
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Originally posted by Rednano:
its better to be loved than to love?
if that's a choice, everyone would perfer to be loved, rather than to love someone.
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I think the best way to mend the friendship may be time. Lay low for a while and don't bother her too much, or not at all. After all, time heals all wounds. However, as others have said, there isn't really much hope to progress in your relationship with her...
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She might be weighting in herself, which guys should she choose to celebrate the night with lor.. so easy... haaaa
Sorry arrh.. but i am speaking from usual thinking lah..
Maybe she isn't lor.. but but.. there is always a but.. Who knows ? |
Only she know the truth... why think so much when she isn't your gf ?Have you thought if she is your gf, are you gonna hit the roof by then ?
On your relax mode enjoy the holiday, sms her nearer to New Yr to ask her out,if she cares and like you.. she will made time for it, even to the extend to push her friends appoint etc... or she will invite you to her gathering.. yah../
Cheers.. -
Originally posted by farnee:
She might be weighting in herself, which guys should she choose to celebrate the night with lor.. so easy... haaaa
Sorry arrh.. but i am speaking from usual thinking lah..
Maybe she isn't lor.. but but.. there is always a but.. Who knows ? |
Only she know the truth... why think so much when she isn't your gf ?Have you thought if she is your gf, are you gonna hit the roof by then ?
On your relax mode enjoy the holiday, sms her nearer to New Yr to ask her out,if she cares and like you.. she will made time for it, even to the extend to push her friends appoint etc... or she will invite you to her gathering.. yah../
Cheers..i agree with ur last paragraph...when she wanna fly me aeroplane she got say its not like i'm not important but she just wanna hang ard with her colleagues as she is new to the dept.
i know she doesn't like me but...sometimes u hang on to the slightest glimpse of hope...
guess i have to move on....maybe once a mth try jio her out etc...if things really dun improve then...sigh
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Originally posted by bizzkit0102:
I think the best way to mend the friendship may be time. Lay low for a while and don't bother her too much, or not at all. After all, time heals all wounds. However, as others have said, there isn't really much hope to progress in your relationship with her...
yah, have to do so. maybe she came into my life just to teach me that i got to be less pushy and control my temper. i'll bear dat in mind although i paid a price to learn this lesson. :(
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i think u screw yrself
1st u never consider for her
she wan to spend the christmas with her new friends because she wan to be accepted in the new working enviroment and yet u @#$%^& her.
sound like u get pissed when u didnt get the chance to drill her during christmas time
(- -).................
i think she will avoid u for a while and after that keep a distance from u ......
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Originally posted by Belmont:
This gal i am chasing is supposed to meet me for gift exchange yesterday on xmas eve but on 23rd she tell me she wanna join her colleagues for some party as she is new to the company. i lan lan agree and we are supposed to meet in Jan to exchange but on eve itself i sort of screwed things up and through sms say she dun consider my feelings etc etc. Then seems like now Jan oso hard to meet liao cos she unhappy.
So i dropped her an email saying i realised my flaws etc and hope she can meet me when she is "ok".
dunno wat to do now....anyone got any pointers ?
Hmm...what kind of pointers do you hope to receive? There's no special magic pointers that anyone could've given you in your situation....cos there's only one way out.Face her and admit to her that you were a jerk when you sent those smses to her and sincerely apologise to her.
Your fate will be determined on how's good/close/deep were your friendship with her before you sent those smses.
And of course it will also depends on what kind of girl she is. Most girls would not have taken it personal and probably ignores your silly smses. But there are some girls who would have taken your smses personal. You need luck on that.
Nothing is more touching than a sincere apology....even if it is from anyone.
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Originally posted by Belmont:
i agree with ur last paragraph...when she wanna fly me aeroplane she got say its not like i'm not important but she just wanna hang ard with her colleagues as she is new to the dept.
i know she doesn't like me but...sometimes u hang on to the slightest glimpse of hope...
guess i have to move on....maybe once a mth try jio her out etc...if things really dun improve then...sigh
actually, do u like her or not? fr ur actions and the things u say, it also doesn't sound like u like her a lot.
if u truly care for her and tink of her point of view, u wouldn't have gotten pissed or be "lan lan" (in ur first post) when she cancelled on u... it's not like she doesn't have a good reason...
and now u actually sound a bit annoyed tt she cancelled on u and seem to very willing to give up and move on... before u say tt she dun like u, why dun u ask urself whether ur feelings for her are true? cos i really dun sense any deep feelings for the girl at all...
maybe it's best u both just remain as normal friends...
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Why not just send her a text saying "hey, pardon my rudeness regarding what happened previously, I didn't mean it and just to let you know I would very much like the meet up in Jan.. Please do not take it to heart and have a nice day ahead!"
Do not expect her to reply.. after like 2 weeks or so, then maybe you call or sms her and ask her again? (if she doesn't reply..)
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To be completely honest, I am entirely amazed and amused with your concern. How old are the two of you by the way?
Discounting the possibility that you were actually abusive and downright rude (I am assuming nothing like that took place since you did not go into much detail about what was actually said) in conveying your displeasure that she reneged on your date, I'd suggest you act like a man for once and move on.
Unless you're prepared for more drama (think more cancellations/postponements of dates/family time for fear of being isolated by colleagues/friends/acquaintances/any-reasonable-soul who would invariably become strangers 30 years from now anyway) in time to come, it's possibly the best option to pursue.
Why bother with people who can't even accord you the most basic respect and honour their word?
On the basis of the reason (it's entirely another matter if she reneged on the date due to some real exigencies/emergencies) she gave, she's basically either desperately insecure or has horrendous time management - or possibly both! Are you serious about dating someone like that and potentially spending the rest of your life with her (let's assume the affection is mutual here)?
Let's be honest: if you found such behaviour acceptable by your standards and compatible with your own values, you probably wouldn't have been irked by her behaviour to begin with. The fact that you're disturbed (and understandably so) already suggests an issue of incompatibility before you actually become an item.
If you're trying to go out of the way to accommodate her - at the expense of betraying your own principles as your behaviour would suggest - just because she's an object of your desire, you're no different from a pot smoker trying to feed a temporary addiction without actually having considered the long-term implications.
Put it another way. If the exact same scenario had been played out between you and another friend whom you had completely no romantic interest with, would you still be trying as hard to "mend this broken friendship"? If you could answer this, you probably know what to do...
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This is not friendship, this is fuckship.
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Originally posted by walesa:
To be completely honest, I am entirely amazed and amused with your concern. How old are the two of you by the way?
Discounting the possibility that you were actually abusive and downright rude (I am assuming nothing like that took place since you did not go into much detail about what was actually said) in conveying your displeasure that she reneged on your date, I'd suggest you act like a man for once and move on.
Unless you're prepared for more drama (think more cancellations/postponements of dates/family time for fear of being isolated by colleagues/friends/acquaintances/any-reasonable-soul who would invariably become strangers 30 years from now anyway) in time to come, it's possibly the best option to pursue.
Why bother with people who can't even accord you the most basic respect and honour their word?
On the basis of the reason (it's entirely another matter if she reneged on the date due to some real exigencies/emergencies) she gave, she's basically either desperately insecure or has horrendous time management - or possibly both! Are you serious about dating someone like that and potentially spending the rest of your life with her (let's assume the affection is mutual here)?
Let's be honest: if you found such behaviour acceptable by your standards and compatible with your own values, you probably wouldn't have been irked by her behaviour to begin with. The fact that you're disturbed (and understandably so) already suggests an issue of incompatibility before you actually become an item.
If you're trying to go out of the way to accommodate her - at the expense of betraying your own principles as your behaviour would suggest - just because she's an object of your desire, you're no different from a pot smoker trying to feed a temporary addiction without actually having considered the long-term implications.
Put it another way. If the exact same scenario had been played out between you and another friend whom you had completely no romantic interest with, would you still be trying as hard to "mend this broken friendship"? If you could answer this, you probably know what to do...
yah, i agree with what you say. She "fly" me kite 2x actually...the other time we were suppose to have lunch then the same thing happen as her boss jio the dept for lunch and i was "abandoned"....dat time i didn't flare up or wat...just "gulp it down".
i moving on already. :)
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good for you then
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Originally posted by Belmont:
yah, i agree with what you say. She "fly" me kite 2x actually...the other time we were suppose to have lunch then the same thing happen as her boss jio the dept for lunch and i was "abandoned"....dat time i didn't flare up or wat...just "gulp it down".
i moving on already. :)
u mean u wan her to aeroplane her boss to show u that u are important to her ????? -
Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
u mean u wan her to aeroplane her boss to show u that u are important to her ?????no, not dat...we agree to meet up already. just dat i already went all the way down already. her boss oso last minute ask for lunch with the dept one.