What should I do?
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Originally posted by tranicide:
I don't even know how to start. Basically, I'm suppose to meet her on the 31st of December for the countdown. On that day, it will be the 1st time I'm meeting her after a period of 1 month or so when we had a little misunderstanding. The thing is, my actual plan was to bring to her the flyer to watch the fireworks, but as you guys know, the flyer is closed temporarily and I'm currently out of ideas. That day will be kinda special for me because it will show whether I'm given another chance from her or not.
I'll summarize a little bit of what happened between us. She is my 1st classmate in Polytechnic and we had grew closer when we joined the same "CCA". From there on, we went out on certain occasions and that was when I developed feelings for her. It had been a total of 8 months and load of things had happened between us. The thing is, my character had actually caused me distance myself from her. During that 8 months, she had also been close to one of my guy friends, and that had really crushed my confidence. Because of this, like I said, I distanced myself (Yes, I know I'm jealous) until things got really bad. There was a point of time where she hated me alot because of my attitude towards her and my friend, I was kinda rude to him. Due to this, we didn't talk to each other for nearly a month or so, until recently where she called me out to clear things out. That was went I knew that I misunderstood the both of them. It appeared that she had feelings for me as well, and the reason why she and my friend got close was because that they were discussing about me, like when I'm going to pop the question to her, but like what i told her, I got jealous about the both of them, and it crushed my confidence. I caused her to wait so long (which she hate) and it ended up in a huge pile of mess.
So after we cleared the mess, we were back on talking terms, but I admit there is still a certain awkwardness between us. A few weeks back we were sms-ing and we chanced upon a topic about the relationship between us and I asked if she was actually giving me another chance, she replied something like, "What do you think?" So the thing is, I'm not sure whether I really stand another chance, so the 31st of December is to show whether I'm really do stand another chance. Now that the Flyer is shut down, my options are closed as well.. I know that it will not be the same as compared to the past, but I'm willing to try to change things. There is still this "Can't wait to see her, but don't know what to say when I do" feeling.
I really need some ideas..Any suggestions on what we can or I can do for her on that day? I prefer something which is peaceful, greatful for people who are enjoying their "er ren shi jie".
I really apologize for the long post..
You got money? Are you rich?If not, it's always sensible to do something within your own means.
Being flashy is of course desirable, but there's no point if you cannot afford to keep up being flashy all the time.
Instead of doing something that is not yourself, why not just have a normal nice date together with her? As long as she likes you, it doesn't matters where you spent your time together with her....as long as it is not too shabbly ok?
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Originally posted by parn:
You got money? Are you rich?If not, it's always sensible to do something within your own means.
Being flashy is of course desirable, but there's no point if you cannot afford to keep up being flashy all the time.
Instead of doing something that is not yourself, why not just have a normal nice date together with her? As long as she likes you, it doesn't matters where you spent your time together with her....as long as it is not too shabbly ok?
The thing is, I'm not sure if she still likes me or not after all that I've done to her. That is why I want to salvage whatever is left.
And you have a point, all these while I had been trying hard to impress her, regardless of whether it involves money or not. It had never come to my mind that what I had been doing isn't actually me, I'm just doing things to impress her, and its not me.
This is why on the 31st, our usual outing was like in the past. Something simple. We chilled and the Singapore Flyer compound and chatted throughout the night. I don't know if I had gained back her trust, but I know that I've tried.
As for those people out there who helped! Thank you all for your suggestions! You guys made me realize one very important point! :D
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Originally posted by tranicide:
... her, and its not me. This is why on the 31st, our usual outing was like in the past. Something simple. We chilled and the Singapore Flyer compound and chatted throughout the night. I don't know if I had gained back her trust, but I know that I've tried....
Uh... OOOkkaaayyyyyy.... after all is said and done... when are you going to pop the question ?What you afraid of ? Can't take a rejection or something ?
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Rejection, I can take. Its just that she is kinda on and off, if you know what I mean.
We'll be going for an overseas trip this coming April, so I hope all is well till then.
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Originally posted by tranicide:
Rejection, I can take. Its just that she is kinda on and off, if you know what I mean.
We'll be going for an overseas trip this coming April, so I hope all is well till then.
Ofcors she will be on and off with you.
You're the one with a dick.. why can't you just give her a commitment before she says anything ?
What.. do you want her to get down on her knees and ask you to be her boyfriend ? DUH!
Why should she go with you on an overseas trip ? You're not even her boyfriend.
Men nowadays are behaving like a pussy.
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Hard to explain it to you. Wait till you're in my shoes.
FIY, she was the one who asked me for the overseas trip.
Moreover, I did confess my feelings for her before, but she jokingly laughed it off. So what am I suppose to do?
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Originally posted by tranicide:
Hard to explain it to you. Wait till you're in my shoes.
FIY, she was the one who asked me for the overseas trip.
Moreover, I did confess my feelings for her before, but she jokingly laughed it off. So what am I suppose to do?
Yes... so just let the lady do the work.
Did you confess with a serious tone .. or you jokingly confessed your feelings .
So you think it's not your job to commit first.. then why are you going on this overseas trip ?
If you are still unsure about your feelings towards her.. it's best not to string her along.
You can always reject her proposal.. ... now don't tell me you can't say no ? Don't be soo lame ya ?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Men nowadays are behaving like a pussy.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Yes... so just let the lady do the work.
Did you confess with a serious tone .. or you jokingly confessed your feelings .
So you think it's not your job to commit first.. then why are you going on this overseas trip ?
If you are still unsure about your feelings towards her.. it's best not to string her along.
You can always reject her proposal.. ... now don't tell me you can't say no ? Don't be soo lame ya ?
Don't come to a conclusion so quickly when you don't even know what happened.
1st) Who in the world, IF in the correct state of mind, would confess in an unserious tone?
2nd) When she asked me along for the trip, our relationship was good, so why would I reject? Who knows, shit happened after that.
3rd) Unsure of my feelings for her? Did I ever say that? Does this sentence, "Its just that she is kinda on and off" tell you that I'm unsure of my feelings?
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Originally posted by tranicide:
Don't come to a conclusion so quickly when you don't even know what happened.
1st) Who in the world, IF in the correct state of mind, would confess in an unserious tone?
2nd) When she asked me along for the trip, our relationship was good, so why would I reject? Who knows, shit happened after that.
3rd) Unsure of my feelings for her? Did I ever say that? Does this sentence, "Its just that she is kinda on and off" tell you that I'm unsure of my feelings?
Dude,
In case you forgot. You posted your uncertainty in Aunt Agony.
And pardon me for not knowing the whole scenario.. and guess what ? You didn't PROVIDE the full scenario. Am I suppose to read your mind with telepathy ?
Well , if you confessed with a serious tone and she replied with a joke. Dude.. sorry to say.. she's not into you.
So it does not matter if she is hot or cold towards you.... inviting you on an overseas trip ? Alone or with a group ?
If alone.. perhaps you do have a fighting chance.. if group trip.. sorry dude.. she's just being nice as a FRIEND.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Dude,
In case you forgot. You posted your uncertainty in Aunt Agony.
And pardon me for not knowing the whole scenario.. and guess what ? You didn't PROVIDE the full scenario. Am I suppose to read your mind with telepathy ?
Well , if you confessed with a serious tone and she replied with a joke. Dude.. sorry to say.. she's not into you.
So it does not matter if she is hot or cold towards you.... inviting you on an overseas trip ? Alone or with a group ?
If alone.. perhaps you do have a fighting chance.. if group trip.. sorry dude.. she's just being nice as a FRIEND.
Apparently, you didn't even read my 1st post or just got confused. FIY, what I've posted was the whole scenario.
Dude.. sorry to say.. she's not into you.
If you read my 1st post, I actually wrote this, "It appeared that she had feelings for me as well".
I posted in uncertainty is not because I'm unsure of my feelings for her, it is the fact that I'm unsure of what to do when we are meeting up.
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Originally posted by tranicide:
Apparently, you didn't even read my 1st post or just got confused. FIY, what I've posted was the whole scenario.
If you read my 1st post, I actually wrote this, "It appeared that she had feelings for me as well".
I posted in uncertainty is not because I'm unsure of my feelings for her, it is the fact that I'm unsure of what to do when we are meeting up.
Actually.. I did read through your thread.
Unfortunately... it seems.. you are too focused on the location and dates/time to make it work.
Working magic on a girl.. is not like baking a cake.. it's not about how much flour you put in and which cooking appliance to use.
A relationship does not start with a flick of a switch.
You really need to change your approach. The way you are doing it... I can tell... because you are so focused on issues that are not really important.. you are neglecting those which are important to make a relationship blossom.
It does not matter where you bring her.. or what special date you choose. If the two of you are made for each other.. the heart beats in sync anytime.. anywhere.. anyway.
Remember.. if she can have fun and enjoys the date.. you have scored points.
When you are too self conscious and too worried about the outcome.. you will become very intense and uptight.
Relax and enjoy the night.That's all to it.
And since as you claimed.. the feelings are mutual.. so.. ahem.. what else are you waiting for ?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Actually.. I did read through your thread.
Unfortunately... it seems.. you are too focused on the location and dates/time to make it work.
Working magic on a girl.. is not like baking a cake.. it's not about how much flour you put in and which cooking appliance to use.
A relationship does not start with a flick of a switch.
You really need to change your approach. The way you are doing it... I can tell... because you are so focused on issues that are not really important.. you are neglecting those which are important to make a relationship blossom.
It does not matter where you bring her.. or what special date you choose. If the two of you are made for each other.. the heart beats in sync anytime.. anywhere.. anyway.
Remember.. if she can have fun and enjoys the date.. you have scored points.
When you are too self conscious and too worried about the outcome.. you will become very intense and uptight.
Relax and enjoy the night.That's all to it.
And since as you claimed.. the feelings are mutual.. so.. ahem.. what else are you waiting for ?
Yes, this I agree with you. Like what parn and one other guy said, I was too focused on non-related things like where to go and what to do, and I totally overlooked the main objective. That is why our date on the 31st was somehow normal, it was like what we would do in the past.
About your last question, I've decided on when to do it already.
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Originally posted by tranicide:
About your last question, I've decided on when to do it already.
Ah.. there you go again. Another special date you have in mind ?
Suppose she say no.. will that special day be ruined forever ? Every year tis shall be a reminder for one failure ?
It's not how special the day you choose.. rather how special you made her feel everyday.
What you really need is just to catch her at the right mood. It's in your instinct..a gut feel .. nothing to do with the calendar.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Ah.. there you go again. Another special date you have in mind ?
Suppose she say no.. will that special day be ruined forever ? Every year tis shall be a reminder for one failure ?
It's not how special the day you choose.. rather how special you made her feel everyday.
What you really need is just to catch her at the right mood. It's in your instinct..a gut feel .. nothing to do with the calendar.
Ok, maybe my choice of words was wrong. Its not a special date or anything. It is just something which I'm going to do that might actually catch her at the right mood. She had told me this before, just that I haven't fulfilled it for her.
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Originally posted by tranicide:
Ok, maybe my choice of words was wrong. Its not a special date or anything. It is just something which I'm going to do that might actually catch her at the right mood. She had told me this before, just that I haven't fulfilled it for her.
Wow... you can predict what mood she will feel ? Amazing.
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jojobeach...chill yea? you sound a little irascible when replying to tranicide.
and tranicide, all the best to u! hope it turns out well :)
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Originally posted by Pingoo:
jojobeach...chill yea? you sound a little irascible when replying to tranicide.
and tranicide, all the best to u! hope it turns out well :)
Fwaahh.. Peegoo.. your england bery powderful ah.. I have to consult dictionary to find out wat the meaning of irascible means ah.
Ah.. you must understand ah... text postings like forums.. you cannot factor in the anger or emotions one.
Because there's no tone, no body language..
I tell you ah...
When I type replies to forums.. is usually my break time ah.. so ah.. always got a mug of beer for R and R.. you understand ?
So ah... my mug is bery chill.. thank you. Ok ? Good.
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On the contrary, text/words can convey emotions. Anyway, you have an interesting way of 'reasoning' things....quite amusing. well, TS doesn't seem to have a problem, so by all means. :)
hmm i think this topic dead. time to browse!
cheers