she's driving me nutz!!!!
-
well.. personally i dont think u are pressurising her... i think it's a natural thing that when couples are apart, they will start missing each other and may call (but maybe not everyday lah, as mentioned by u already, it costs alotOriginally posted by man12:we have been together for more than a yr now. due to ns we are only meet up during the weekend or nite offs. but we are a lot happier then. now i know i'll be away for some time but it's not like i heck care about her. did call everyday i mayself also very siong on the pocket. she'd been cutting all my means of communication to her .. know i'm kinda pressuring her but not to that much of an extent. am i???
).
either she cant be bothered about u, or she's trying to make u miss her more by cutting all ur means of communication to her?? sometimes when my ex refused to pick up my calls, i not only panicked, but also i started to miss him more..... -
dun worry i'm not a guys n not going to take ways your gf! i juz waana know her!Originally posted by tiger beer:can i know her? wanna c wat kind of ger she is? -
i just know that i wan to have a stable relationship (with no drastic ups and downs, i dont wanna be happy in a min, then get really pissed off in the next). but maybe u r right,i dunno what it takes to maintain a relationship. but i've been asking around for pointers....Originally posted by fidofido25:I hate to say this, but most (not all ahhh...so dun flame me all U forumers out there!) young people, especially girls in their early to mid-20s don't really know what they want in life, and what takes a real (i.e., solid, quality, possibly long-term) relationship to work. Not that guys are exempt from this malady...
hey btw, emphasis shldnt be put entirely on girls only (although u did mention that guys r not exempted from this malady) i believe both guys and girls face this kinda thing..just whether u see it anot -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
i just know that i wan to have a stable relationship (with no drastic ups and downs, i dont wanna be happy in a min, then get really pissed off in the next). but maybe u r right,i dunno what it takes to maintain a relationship. but i've been asking around for pointers....
hey btw, emphasis shldnt be put entirely on girls only (although u did mention that guys r not exempted from this malady) i believe both guys and girls face this kinda thing..just whether u see it anot
You're right Velvetger...a lot of young guys also don't know what they want. Guys and girls see things differently (and evade issues in different ways) - even if they are looking at the same thing!
Most of us want stable relationships, but not many are prepared for it. It takes a lot of self-honesty and awareness, maturity and experience and responsibility.
I didn't get into a 'stable' relationship until my early 30s! Before that, life and relationships were far from ideal, and yes, I've made many mistakes too, have been hurt deeply and have hurt others.
We all live and learn! Now I am married to a wonderful girl who's really an angle. Sure, I don't lead a very exciting life anymore, but I wouldn't give her up for anyone else in the world!
-
i guess we shouldnt just listen to one side of the story.
are u really that good man12?
have u never done anything wrong b4?
put urself in her shoes. if u were outside having fun,would u bother to call ur gf?
well...try to communicate more. -
you are not that dumb after allOriginally posted by dumbdumb!:yea.... its not worth. then again.. what is love... Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
-
men too!Originally posted by Peppermint:haha women are nothing but trouble arent they? -
[quote]Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:
please dont hate. i once hated my ex alot. she hurt me damn. anyway i've kinda like forgiven her some days ago. i counted and realised i took 7 months to forgive her. not bad yar ? all the best. ps: when you hate, you wont be happy. learn to let go. smiles =)[quote]
Hmm....interesting. So did you take some days to forgive her....or it took you 7 months for you to forgive her? -
Let not start Sexist comments here. I am Peace.Originally posted by caramelgal:men too!
Let's say Humans are nothing but Trouble!
-
to be honest. i did sneak a puff or two and she caught me several times. but it happened several months ago and ever since after that i have been a good boy coz i learnt to treasure her a lot more after those incidents. btw i've been smoking for more than 10 yrs liao. kinda hardcore.
i say again! i did not do anything else. all of my free and available time and effort was invested in her. wanted to spend more time with her before i leave.
now is that she said she's tired of all the quarrels and dun want it anymore and she no longer feels the same as the time when we started hence she wanted to end. i've clarified with her that i did not give her any attitude, although i may be pissed off but i kept quiet. hoping in time she will realise that she was too insenitive towards my feelings. but she still hanged on to her idea.
rationally thinking am i rite to say that no couple in this world will live those lovey-dovey days from day 1 to the end of thier lives? i tried explaining to her that it is normal for us to hit the peak and cool down but it will be up to us to keep the flame alive. it is only i went abroad things started to go up and down. i am confused. i dunno wat she's thinking and wat she wants is hurting me real bad. she confessed this is the first real relationship she's really happy about. even dissussed through our future plans liao.
i really want to know what is going on. what can i do to salvage this situation? she'll always give me this reply she dunno, feeling gone liao. she dun find the need for it liao. blah blah.
although 1yr + is not a really long time but enuff for me to sort out my thinking and wanna really tone down my happy-go-lucky attitude and face the real world. tot she sorted out her thinking too but i was wrong and i dunno the reason for it. she's the kind that fears lonliness. the reason why i called her everyday juz so that she will not feel that lonely and to let her know that i have never left her out of my life.
every part of me began to rot away never felt this much pain. past relationships was never this bad. -
is there any way to spice up our relationship again??? it seems dying out .. any way make her treasure this relationship more?? bit of some psychology games maybe. just wanna make her realise that it is not worthwhile to give it away juzt like that..
please help.. -
......Originally posted by man12:is there any way to spice up our relationship again??? it seems dying out .. any way make her treasure this relationship more?? bit of some psychology games maybe. just wanna make her realise that it is not worthwhile to give it away juzt like that..
please help.. -
man12, probably mind games might help... let your partner miss you, if she really is yours, she will be yours.
i think you might have heard this before," ....if she/he only thinks of you when
she/he is happy, but look for someone else when she/he
is sad. This kind of lover is too unstable; she/he
didn't treat you as someone she/he can spend the rest
of her life with. "
i agree with this..think about whether you want your partner a not because everyone else can only give you advice
-
Bro man12,Originally posted by man12:i'm in a LDR rite now. i'm away for 2yrs. things have been fine at start now she's been giving me a lot of problems. i always disliked her to drink. she tried to stop me smoking. both gave in to each other. now she simply don't care about anything. on her b'day she went out to cheong and got drunk. beforehand i told her not to drink a lot and she assured me she'll call when she's home. but she din. this had happened a lot of times already. she have broken my trust again and again. now she's saying she wanted a break up coz she find me to narrow-minded and trying to control her. i'm doing my best in maintaining this relationship already. she's too much of a brat and ahd this bad attitude problem whenever she's pissed. she always wanted things her way. i expressed my unhappiness that she din call and totally forgotten about me, when's she's having fun . she turned around and accuse me of controlling her. and gave me an ultimatium that i don't accept what she's doing she's gonna call it quits between us. i am too tired of this kind of situation. i do love her but i feel insecure. she doesn't do anything to reassure me, and crries on her ways of doing things. and threatened to drink more just to prove her point that i cannot do anything to her. sometimes i do feel like giving her a slap across her wake and tell her to wake up and stop behaving like a brat. of coz i din do that b4 and din intend to start. need advice very sad and troubled ...
I do understand how you feel lah. But maybe you are giving her too much pressure on your side. It is not that I saying you are wrong. You may harbour good intention but maybe your way of expressing your point is not right? You had to undrestand that it is hard for someone who is alreadys so addited to something like acohol to quit whenever they one. MAybe she is already trying but she keep hearing you pressuring her. She can be demorlaised in the process and thus give up trying and throw her temper. Maybe you should at least try to understand why she don't want to quit. I don't know if I'm saying it right, cos i don't really undrestand your stituation.
Don't try to say break up easily.....at least not until you are sure thats the last restore to solve the problem. Think of why you want her to be your GF in the 1st place. There must be something nice in her that you are so attracted to that you are willing to torlorate her other short points and start a relationship with her. -
thinking about bursting that $30KOriginally posted by Peppermint:haha women are nothing but trouble arent they? -
well ladies and gents... i have decided to throw in the towel. i cannot tolerate her behaviour anymore everythings she said is contradicting. maybe i understand her too well or maybe i have lost my understanding for her while i'm away and changed w/o me realising much about it.
i have built up too much bitterness for her and she did not do anything about it. i will not take her in as a fren coz i dun wanna put myself thru all the pain and torture again. i'm cutting all ties with her she's too much of an insensitive b!@#$. when i'm sick yes she'll talk corcern but when the time arrived she'll be out doing dunno what again. her harsh words really do cut deep into my heart and into little pieces. she doesn't respect me as a bf and showed more corncern for her frenz. with all these things happening even if i wanted to do anything i cannot be bothered at all now. lost my sense of reasoning and do wish to care anymore.!!!!!! -
well, glad that u hav the courage to throw in the towel... a good move to end what is turning to be a strained relationship.Originally posted by man12:well ladies and gents... i have decided to throw in the towel. i cannot tolerate her behaviour anymore everythings she said is contradicting. maybe i understand her too well or maybe i have lost my understanding for her while i'm away and changed w/o me realising much about it.
i have built up too much bitterness for her and she did not do anything about it. i will not take her in as a fren coz i dun wanna put myself thru all the pain and torture again. i'm cutting all ties with her she's too much of an insensitive b!@#$. when i'm sick yes she'll talk corcern but when the time arrived she'll be out doing dunno what again. her harsh words really do cut deep into my heart and into little pieces. she doesn't respect me as a bf and showed more corncern for her frenz. with all these things happening even if i wanted to do anything i cannot be bothered at all now. lost my sense of reasoning and do wish to care anymore.!!!!!!
I will u all the best
_____________
i am a gentleman
Check for your smiley here -
You mean do NOT wish to care....?Originally posted by man12:lost my sense of reasoning and do wish to care anymore.!!!!!!
-
yes i do not wish to care anymore...