Is this too much to ask of?
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I thought usually guys will talk about how they make things work, to satisy their ego needs. I think you need 200% positive thinking and positive attitude, you can do it man!
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Originally posted by charlize:
If you think your girlfriend is there to hear you whine, you are so passe.
We may live in modern times by our instincts are still primal. So our dear friend here should juz follow the tarzan rule, "all problems at work shall stay at work, for all other problems, big ones man settle, small ones woman settle."
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pick up a contact sport to release all that frustration.
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Originally posted by barista:
I've always learn it this way.. before something negative comes out of my mouth, say something positive. Instead of going straight to the "i have a bad day yadda yadda" , ask about her , tell her she looks brighter today etc. Somehow after a few experiments of compliments, i realised women are more open to what i say to even accepting what i say too. You may want to try it. :) And you mentioned you help her to look up the part time jobs , did you tell her about it? Sometimes, doing it secretly might not be helpful. She might not know.. Of course depending on what kind of girl is she.
Charlize mentioned that the guy usually get the shorter end of the stick in a relationship .. i shall say it's true but only when you have the energy and interest to keep it going if not, the girl might be doing all she can to keep the relationship going too.
I know girls who like guys to whine to them though. cause most of the time guys behave more like cavemen. By being open with your problems and them just listening can be a good effort to making them feel you're making an effort to let them know what's going on. Which could be considered a nice gesture , to some.
i learnt something!ah thanks thanks!
anyway good luck TS.. i also reading ur thread to learn how to deal with such problems.. tho i am not in a relationship.. i dunno wat to say and have no advice.. so good luck
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Originally posted by toothbrush:
Of course she is not there just to hear me whine. But what happened to "being there for one another".
Can you accept it if your gf/bf simply does not care about your problems? Then what's the point of being together? For sex? For free lunches?
Maybe you just dun give her enough sex, or rather good sex. Women may be willing to listen to you whine if you can compensate in other areas as a man.
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They say they want to hear you... but the true is they only want you to tell her what she wanted to hear... not your personally problem.
But seriously... I tot that is what relationship is for? helping each other through the problems... maybe she is not really for such responsibility in the relationship yet or maybe you are just over sensitive.
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You are working in a job that requires you to leave your problems behind at the end of the day and go home. I am sure you have been advised not to take your problems home. This advise is for men only.
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change job
change gf
case close, next.
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i like my guy (not seeing anyone currently, im referring to my ex) to relate to me the situation, not whine abt it nor complain excessively abt the same thg.
Cos as a gf, i'd like to know what's fraustrating him, and i'll be glad to advise cos r/s is abt bearing one another's joy as well as woes.. Then again, if you find yourself complaining the same thing all the time, perhaps it's time for you to change job?
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Thank you guys for all the opinions and advices. You can be sure that i've read every single one of them.
To update things, she apologised last night for venting her frustrations towards me because of her job problems. I guess that I just complained at the wrong time. 1 lesson learnt though, I will never understand girls. At least not yet.
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I donnoe, maybe she's kinda tired of hearing you harping on it like all the time? But all the same, things can be worked out, maybe you can let her know, that you woud like her to at least be more patient and show more understanding towards some things that matter to you. :)