Originally posted by noodle-eater:I say unto you, that even so there shall be joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine righteous persons, who need no repentance. Luke 15:7
I do not expect sympathy from any of you at all, for you are all human and some level of forgiveness are beyond human capacity.
My pain might be 1/100000000000000th of what she felt, but my lack of support at all really has taken a toll on me. Going to church truly helped me, and her presence in my life I believed was put there by God to "open my eyes."
God made her a blessing to me, and I pray to God, may I be a blessing to her, and others. I saw her pics from friend's facebook pics, I must say, her smiles I felt is a little bit jaded, I feel so sorry to have taken away the pure innocent naive joy she could have felt.
Incidentally, I came across this article: http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20090226-124624.html
And I chuckled, 6x? My cheating was 3x, but still, one is too many. I am coming around to how resolved my (ex) wife is, but in this pit of darkness, I see a ray of light from God. For it is His Will, whatever will happens in the future. However, I do
I thank you for all the words and time you have put in here, you hate me, pity me, spit on me with passion and I feel great because you are caring for my wife, that made us similar, in that way :)
I still dream of her, everynight, she would be next to me, and I tend to her ever so gently and lovingly, then I wake up to a delibitating heartache. I am grateful however, for "waking up".
The Pon & Zi cartoon has a special meaning for us. I love her and I used to buy surprise gifts to her and post images on her facebook for no reason. She responded to that youtube with a short e-mail (usually she just ignores everything I wrote).
I am hoping, where there is very little hope. I am not stalking her, disrupting her, I am just here, atoning, smiling, and cheering for her.
Go, my love, Go! :) *cheer*
If you were truly repentant, you would apologize for sliming your ex-wife's new squeeze on this forum.
And also, the sins of others do not exonerate you of your own.... so what if there's a 6x serial cheater? The fact remains that you still are a triple cheater!
Anyway, seriously..... just get lost already.
If you are truly remorseful, you should be spending the rest of your life punishing yourself.
a) To TS, lets think from your wife's point of view for a while.
1) I love this man.
2) I give my best to him.
3) I forgive him.
4) In the end he betray me 3 times.
5) Question is " Should I trust him again?" And Why?
6) I would rather find a man who is less handsome or even worst.. at least the chance of him cheat is much lower.
b) Think about this way as least normal guys out there will have a chance. After good gals are cheated by guys like TS they are more willing to give others a chance.
c) have chatted with gals and wifes who had being cheated by their exs and ex-husbands. They only give me this answer. " Once my heart is died, Even if he dies in front of me it does not matter at all."
d) To TS you said you love your wife.
My question is: Will you die for her, knowing she will find a better man whom she will love deeply and he will respect her back and get married and have many kids together.
fudgester,
I am not jealous nor angry at her new companion. But even as an objective outsider, you can see that she might not be quite ready. Unfortunately, no one will give her a true opionion for everyone is cheering her on to find a guy.
Do you see Jennifer Aniston? She went through rebound after rebound, and now, she is the most (in)famous reject. She got dumped left and right by the new guys. Who will tell her that she needs to take her time and slow down and be "sober"?
No one, because no one really cares, people just like to vindicate.
The guy is using all of the furnitures and electronics, the big flat scree, the xbox 360, the expensive designer furnitures, and ALL of my games. I am not angry, I even send her a few cables for the system that she forgot to take, because it would make the game look better on the TV. I gave it all wholeheartedly, for her use, for his use.
But I will not apologize for voicing my real concern, for I truly care for her, not wanting her to be taken advantage of, not because I am spiteful. I do trust her, but I still need to say a few words, the ultimate decision is of course hers.
I think people nowadays are just so pragmatic and full of vengeance. An eye for an eye, thats the new motto in life. Gone is compassion, forgiveness, understanding. Repentance means nothing.
You all forget the human capacity to transform and break out of his/her won shell and emerge a new person that's better for society.
For the Christians in here, didn't He taught us to be like Him? Did He not forgive those that spat on Him, speared and staked Him?
It's sad that so many people are just pragmatist, lacking in the larger perspective of human struggles to survive and be better.
Perhaps that's why Singapore is such a dreadful place for many? Because of it's people's lack of true compassion and staunchly abide by rigid laws as if they are robots?
Miracles and forgiveness are truly amazing and reveal their true glory ONLY when they appeared at the MOST unexpected places and for the most undeserved.
Whether she is ready or not for another relationship...... that is not for YOU to decide.
And once again, I repeat: who are you to be gleeful at that 6x cheater? The fact remains that you are a triple cheater. The sins of that cheater do not make your own sins any less.
You see? In your postings, it's all 'me, me, me, me'.
It's not that no one cares. It's just that you only seem to care for yourself.
DRC,
Yes, I will gladly die for her if that can make her truly happy. I already thought about that and there's no question.
This generation has quickly become a disposable society. There's no working things out, no mantaining a relationship. I wonder how many of you are even past 30.
No wonder divorce rate is so high all around the world, people just feel so freaking "empowered" and society are urging them to "move on", "forget the looser" "you can do it" false urgings while sitting on the sideline not knowing there are other ways God taught us.
Life is full of struggles, and each struggle has a purpose, to serve as a lesson to those that are lost. When the lost found it's way and truly repent, things can work out again.
One will never grow of one don't repent, however, those that fails to see the repentance of a person is even further from maturing spiritually.
Still, I appreciate all of your inputs and if you should ever see the light at my end of the tunnel instead of cussing me and spit on me and asking me to get lost or that I deserve it all, you should give yourself a pat in the back, for you are an extraordinary person.
N-E
fudgester,
It's not me me me, it's in you post you said you you you, so I had to respond no? Who am I to decide? As a person who have been with her for 18 years that know her as my own flesh and blood. I can be concerned can't I? As a matter of fact, I should be concerned, but like I said, please READ CAREFULLY, the decision is up to her, and I can only say it as a bystander now.
Letting her go her won way is one thing, seeing her doing things that might not be wise long run and might get hurt again and NOT say anything about it so I can APPEAR LIKE I AM LETTING HER GO is IRRESPONSIBLE.
I'd rather be called names that protect myself from getting flamed.
You are judging, and may I politely ask, who are you to judge? Express your opinion, that's all you can do. I care for myself yes, who does not? To not care for oneself is to forsake the gift of LIFE God gave us. This body, this life, belongs to God, I have to take good care of it for Him.
But now, I place her, ahead of me, truly. that's why I am not mad, jealous, or spiteful. I care.
Don't let your own arrogance in a self-centered sense of righteousness hinder you from being free of society's dogma.
Rise above it all. The cloud of false sense of justice, the misguided and ingrained tendency to judge and cast stones.
We are all better than that.
Pfft. You just don't get it.
You sure are one of a kind. If you were truly concerned for your ex-wife's happiness, then you'd be wishing her new man all the best and hoping that he'd take good care of her.
I'm not the one who's doing the judging. You're the one who's judging that guy unfairly.
You blame the new guy for being opportunistic, when you don't realize that he might well be the true love of her life. You blame society for having a 'disposable' mentality, when you don't realize that it's your own actions that made you disposable to begin with.
When I said 'me, me, me, me', it's all about your attitude. Whether you realize it or not, you're trying to assign at least part of the blame on others when it's in fact you yourself that's the problem.
Pfft. I'm outta here. I'm just wasting my breath on you.
Originally posted by noodle-eater:Do you see Jennifer Aniston? She went through rebound after rebound, and now, she is the most (in)famous reject. She got dumped left and right by the new guys. Who will tell her that she needs to take her time and slow down and be "sober"?
Can someone tell me what the heck Jennifer Aniston got to do with your case ?
Let me tell you something :
1) She is not dump by Brad Pitt x 3 times !
2) Her ex-husband who dump her is Brad Pitt - not a loser noodle eater !
3) Even she is dump left and right - she is still better off then with you !!!
End of the story - everything also better then be with you !!!
dOUBLE POST
To TS
Have you learnt anything from what had happen?
let me play a song for u
I sincerely hope your wife don't return to you. Do you think saying you're repentant and saying Christian-like things make you truly repentant? If you truly repentant, you wouldn't even want her to return to you. You would feel that you're not fit for her. However from how I see it, you are not repentant.
The first thing that would make the Ex-wife and us feel a little bit better toward noodle-eater if he'd follow the Japanese example and come before the everyone and take that deep bow and say, "I'm sorry", and then either do one of two things: shut_the_fuck_up or go commit suicide.And in the case of the Japanese, they usually commit suicide !!!
The first thing that would make the Ex-wife and us feel a little bit better toward noodle-eater if he'd follow the Japanese example and come before the everyone and take that deep bow and say, "I'm sorry", and then either do one of two things: shut_the_fuck_up or go commit suicide.And in the case of the Japanese, they usually commit suicide !!! For noodle-eater we settle for shut_the_fuck_up !!!
Trust is something that takes long time to build, and an instance to break. Perhaps, you realise what true love is, too late. Your ex-wife had been very tolerant to have forgiven you twice. That was true love.
Have you ever think in her shoes? The problem in this world is not the lack of compassion, it's the lack of consideration, feeling content and taking up responsibility for their own actions. Realise this and you may well see the action and its consequence.
I'm not a religious man, so I'm just gonna offer you a quote from a wise man, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction". And if I were religious, I would point you in the direction of Karma.
All is not lost, if you are willing to face the truth. Realise that you have lost the right to love her as a husband. Remaining in the state of self-denial would only make you very miserable as a result of not able to let go.
Do something productive with your life, and let her live her life to the fullest.
DRC,
Yes, We are not born perfect. Some much less so than others. But wanting to be perfect is a step to salvation. I learn so much and so much more yet to be learnt. I sense much hostility here, which I duly noted.
Moongster,
I have been going to church, and is volunteering to serve the church every week as a translator. I spend my days reflecting and thinking about how to loose the go and self and just think of others and how I can make others around me feel loved. I don't whine and complain about myself (cept on a dedicated media like this thread).
Choppy Hats,
Are you a Christian?
I understand about "letting go", but I also know, one must fight for what's right. I am not harassing her, I am not stalking her, I am not calling her, I just pray and preparing a small gift for her up coming birthday.
I am wearing the wedding band, because I am not moving on, until I have become better.
I am learning to let go. Soon, I will be moving out of my house and into a room, I will sell everything and store the rest in a rented storage shed. I will be living ouit of my back pack. I am starting from scratch, literally and phenomenally.
I used to be a materialistic person, expensive audio system, collections of expensive toys, electronics, and now, they are so worthless to me, utterly meaningless.
I have nothing, but a light at the end of the tunnel that I will strive to walk towards.
Cherish what you have... that's my best advise to all of you.
Storywolf,
Simmer down, my problem is not yours, I do appreciate your passion however. Shut the f* up? This is a forum isn't it? The point is to talk. Unless you feel my topic is off the forum's boundary of what is proper, I shall not STFU.
You do have the freedom however, to NOT read anymore of my thread. I don't want you to develop high-blood pressure.
sometimes when fate ends there, no point forcing u know.
It takes a 3rd party for you guys to realize you are not meant for each other. At least the guy is wearing ur old shoe now....
cheers