A dumb guy just lost his wife
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Your topic already says it all.
You Lost her.
Now pull up your socks, and pay for your mistakes like every decent guy should do.
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ä½ è‡ªæ‰¾çš„.
you had a perfect/good wife yet you don't know cherish her.
i guess she's not use to having her husband being shared by so many womenmy friend's dad did the same thing, only that his mother still don't know about it
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Originally posted by noodle-eater:
Aear,
I try hard to see myself objectively, while I don't dare to say I have changed completely, Iknow something in me has changed. I see the world differently, and I see so clearly what I
had done, and what I have missed in life. The damage is so real, the pain, sobering. Every
step I walk, every second I breathe, I am reminded of my own stupidity, and her sacrifices.
You are right about things came easy for me, and after 18 years, I did take her for granted,
she became invisible to me, and I felt I even deserve better! It took all of this, to slap
me in the face and put me in my place. This whole thing has humbled me so.
Yes, she deserves the righ to walk away guilt free, for she has earned it...
The better man is not the past me, but the person she fell in love with 18 years ago, andnow, he is an improved, and has for the first time: a conscience.
I wish everyone can be a pragmatist. I am an emotional and sentimental person. I believe in
hope and in a person's conviction to change. I respectfully disagree with comparing a person
with a leopard. We are not animals, we believe and worship God, that alone separate us from
animals.
Many has told me, it's not possible, move on and there are "plenty of fish in the sea". If
think logically, that would be an easy decision, just forget it and move on. Unfortunately,
there is nothing logical about love, and hope is illogical as well! So is the belief in
miracles. These are the three things that I wake up to, because without these, I won't be
able to sleep, wake up, and even going about my daily routine would be impossible, for
everything I do and see reminded of her love, and my own mistakes.
I also think that I need to stay and NOT move on, and let it all sink in. Bearing the burden
of pain, is a kind of blessing. Because it's a lifelong lesson, for without it, I will never
have realized my erroneous ways.
How you handled and will handle your lifestyle is entirely your choice, right from the beginning until now. I can only tell you my observations.
Your mistake was simple. You persisted in a concept that is not in tune with your real self. A good example: You made a promise to commit to one woman and you didn’t. Repeatedly. So why persist in monogamy if you’re not built for it in the first place?
Your biggest problem is not faithfulness. It’s coming to terms with your own nature and keeping it real.
Even within the animal kingdom, certain animals (rats, elephants) don’t mate for life and no one faults them for it. -
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Please forgive me: Ng stationing himself in front of the mall in Petaling Jaya on Saturday. The writing on the card reads ‘I Love You Lee Sook Chin’.
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chey,
when u lost something, just go and find it lor, if u found then dont be so dump to lose it again.
if u cannot find then go look for a new one lor, but dont be so dump go lose it again lah.
just dont do all the dump thing again lor, so simple.
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your (ex)-wife is really strong. forgave you twice. gawd. and yet you nvr cherish her. 3rd time still move in with another woman. glad she found someone better. lol
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Man, I really don't know whether to laugh hysterically or throw up from the sickening stupidity presented here.
The AOS is straightforward. The TS was living high, what with his job and his cheap fucks on the side. Now he's jobless and dumped, and he wants to go crawling back to the girl he's repeatedly fucked over, simply so he can get over feeling like the complete fucking loser that he is. That's not love - that's plain selfishness on the verge of vicious parasitism.
He's got the bloody temerity to claim that he's her safety net?! She's the one who's finally decided to do the right thing and flush this piece of shit down the toilet, and now that he's down on his luck he wants to go back to mama.
Fucking big baby.
Don't talk about true love, TS - your actions already show that you're completely incapable of developing the slightest fucking clue of what that is. If I were the ex, I'd slice your nads off and shove them down your throat for trying to insult my intelligence with all this "true love" bullshit after all of your crap.
Do everyone a favour and take a long walk of a short pier, jackass.
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even if u do patch back with her..how can u be so sure that u can give her happiness?
moreover, the scar is already there...
what u are going through now is only like 1/1000000000000 of what she used to went through?..the nights whereby she cried herself to sleep?..or whereby the spasm of emotional pain that she got to endure herself while u are in the arms of another woman?..
if u really love her, then learn to respect her decision instead of criticizing her new love..give her your blessings..
and, if u really love her that much (as u claimed so) & that her new love is really that bad (as u said)..then wait for her..
if that guy really hurt her..then u can standby & be there for her..
if that guy treats her really good..then u should feel happy for her instead..someone whom can replace u in her heart..who can truly give her happiness instead of the agony that u put her through these years..
to put it simply, be a man..& not a bastard anymore..
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pls do not
'forget and move on'
pls REMEMBER and move on.
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Originally posted by noodle-eater:
Hi all,
I have been lurking these forums and now just gathered the courage to post. I am 37, and was married to a wonderful woman for nearly 7 years. We are now separated for about 5 months. She is living with a man now, and refusing to see me or even talk about getting back together. Long story short, I cheated in her 2x, and she forgave me. But the 3rd and last incident, I moved out to live with another woman for about 4 months, and when then I realize how dumb I had been, my wife already moved out.
Initally, I thought I could get her back, but as times goes, I see how she had made up her mind, she won't even see me anymore. On top of that, all her friends and family are ignoring me, and rightly so. I tried calling her, texting her, e-mailing her but that just annoyed her more. So I followed my sister's advice and leave her alone for now. But I am afraid that with time, she may drift further and further away and the possibility (no matter how remote) of us getting back together is getting slimmer.
She is the love of my life, and my first love, we had been together as BF/GF for nearly 20 years, and she had been nothing but an angel in my life, but I was so insecure and immature, I went and forsake her love...
Now that I am "sober" about life and my mistakes, I am a better person, I want to make it up to her and "return" her love. The guy she is living with now, I don't think she loves him, I just think she wants some sort of stability and someone that is a contrast to me. I think deep down, she still loves me, and I now know, I TRULY DEEPLY LOVES HER...
I know many people will say, if I love her, let her go, and move on. But 20 years of her sacrifice and now that I am a better person, I want us, to get back together and truly begin our life and love together. It is worth fighting for, and I would like to fight for her, before "moving on and giving up".
I have drafted many e-mailes to her but have not send them. Should I send them? Or should I leave her alone for now...
Any encouragements, suggestions, welcomed.
Thanks,
N-E
I have another friend who got into the same plight as you.
Everyone had the same advise for him. Learn from the lesson and move on. Your ex gf deserves someone better.
Sorry for my bluntness. But this is exactly the message you should swallow.
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Originally posted by noodle-eater:
People already post this liao. No time for you to regret.
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Everything that has happened to you, you deserved it.
I don't even know how your wife could forgive you for cheating on her, and could even forgive you TWICE.
Well, I've seen alot of replies, and they're the answer you're looking for.
Good luck.
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"She is the love of my life, and my first love"???
"Now that I am "sober" about life and my mistakes, I am a better person, I want to make it up to her and "return" her love"???
Still dare to dramatize eh? What do you expect? The whole forumers pity you and say 'don't give up...'?
It's over for you and her... you start the fire and got burnt again and again... At this point you have to move on and stop disturbing her, before things getting worse or got yourself sued for invading privacy... No emails! No phone calls! No SMS! nothing... just stop find her and ruining her life... Stop being selfish and chasing your own happiness and start to let her have her own...
Suggestion: Great if you are sober now... but there's no turning back... Real life is not like hollywood where everything's "happily ever after". Be careful... you might hit back by what you had done in the past!!! -
long post..
let the poor gal live a dream of her own.
from wad u say, i think u're just being selfish.
cos now u no job liao, wanna someone support u, care for u every morning n etc..
goodness..
u r a disgust sia..
i dun feel any remorse in u but more self confidence...??!
pls la. u done her wrong thrice and act until u're a kid who had done parents' wrong..
u r so buey pai say!
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Originally posted by noodle-eater:
just some simple youtube vid n u want to win her back?the world's most unbearable pain is 'emotional pain'
u ever felt or noe tat?
maybe now u're feeling this way cos u have lost her to another man.
do u noe tat during those period when u've cheated her, the pain for her to bear was so much stronger n deeper than wad u're feeling now?
i just wan to say "SERVE U RIGHT!!!!!"
HAAHAA!!!!
i hate guys who cheat n not once .... goodness..
stil got the cheek to say all those rubbish..
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Originally posted by noodle-eater:
How deliciously appropriate - Ponzi is an American name for FRAUD.
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I will be kicked out of my house in a few months. The divorce judge has ordered a sale of the house we bought together and lived for 4 years together. So much memories, but I will rent a room and live simply. I am starting from scratch, I will distant myself from my past, and be a person that is aware of life, love and happiness.
We are officially divorced now, the letter came a week ago... after a few weeks of being strong, I cried again, wailing, like a dog. The process of growing by such an event is painful, but is unforgettable. Never again, this is a wake up call.
Yesterday, the maple tree we brought together sprouts new spring leaves for the first time since winter, it gave me a tiny bit of hope. There is growth, new life.
Smile, be strong, be compassionate, be kind, to others and yourself. My new mission in life. I will still wait for her, my (ex) wife, on the sideline. Wishing her happiness, watching over her. With a new day comes a new hope. I pray to God for His Mercy, His Glory, His Miracle.
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I will be kicked out of my house in a few months. The divorce judge has ordered a sale of the house we bought together and lived for 4 years together. So much memories, but I will rent a room and live simply. I am starting from scratch, I will distant myself from my past, and be a person that is aware of life, love and happiness.
We are officially divorced now, the letter came a week ago... after a few weeks of being strong, I cried again, wailing, like a dog. The process of growing by such an event is painful, but is unforgettable. Never again, this is a wake up call.
Yesterday, the maple tree we brought together sprouts new spring leaves for the first time since winter, it gave me a tiny bit of hope. There is growth, new life.
Smile, be strong, be compassionate, be kind, to others and yourself. My new mission in life. I will still wait for her, my (ex) wife, on the sideline. Wishing her happiness, watching over her. With a new day comes a new hope. I pray to God for His Mercy, His Glory, His Miracle.
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its just like u langar yr car
1st time - ok repair
2nd time - cost a bomd
3rd time - prepare for the worst but surprising still moving
4th time =sent to scrap liao
................
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its just like u langar yr car
1st time - ok repair
2nd time - cost a bomd
3rd time - prepare for the worst but surprising still moving
4th time =sent to scrap liao
................
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Originally posted by ChoCoChips:
ä½ è‡ªæ‰¾çš„.
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time to let go....trust is just like enzymes; once they denatures, they cant return to their true form anymore...at this stage, the enzyme which represents ur trust has denatured to the point of no return....either u move on (pull urself together and restart ur life with maybe someone else or alone) or live in ur own shadow (i.e. clinging to ur ex-wife but if u do so, more trouble will ensue for the both of u for sure)...it's up to u on which one is the better choice; good luck
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I say unto you, that even so there shall be joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine righteous persons, who need no repentance. Luke 15:7
I do not expect sympathy from any of you at all, for you are all human and some level of forgiveness are beyond human capacity.
My pain might be 1/100000000000000th of what she felt, but my lack of support at all really has taken a toll on me. Going to church truly helped me, and her presence in my life I believed was put there by God to "open my eyes."
God made her a blessing to me, and I pray to God, may I be a blessing to her, and others. I saw her pics from friend's facebook pics, I must say, her smiles I felt is a little bit jaded, I feel so sorry to have taken away the pure innocent naive joy she could have felt.
Incidentally, I came across this article: http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20090226-124624.html
And I chuckled, 6x? My cheating was 3x, but still, one is too many. I am coming around to how resolved my (ex) wife is, but in this pit of darkness, I see a ray of light from God. For it is His Will, whatever will happens in the future. However, I do
I thank you for all the words and time you have put in here, you hate me, pity me, spit on me with passion and I feel great because you are caring for my wife, that made us similar, in that way :)
I still dream of her, everynight, she would be next to me, and I tend to her ever so gently and lovingly, then I wake up to a delibitating heartache. I am grateful however, for "waking up".
The Pon & Zi cartoon has a special meaning for us. I love her and I used to buy surprise gifts to her and post images on her facebook for no reason. She responded to that youtube with a short e-mail (usually she just ignores everything I wrote).
I am hoping, where there is very little hope. I am not stalking her, disrupting her, I am just here, atoning, smiling, and cheering for her.
Go, my love, Go! :) *cheer*