What should I do?
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As some of you who knows me here, I'm from ITE. Being ITE student isn't a big deal, but there are people out there who don't think ITE students are good.
The same goes to my girlfriend's parent. Recently, her parents keep pressuring her, asking if she is still with me or not. It seems like they do not have good impression of ITE students.They said that our relationship will suffer, as a result of her earning more than me in the future.
Education plays a part, which is true.
But when she told her parents that I will further my studies, her parents said, "Huh, you still want to be with him ah?"
As a result, recently my gf has been feeling the pressure from them. Last night, she ask for a break, as she does not want to disappoint her parents. Yes, she's a good girl, she can't go out at night, maybe have to return home by 8-9pm? Or else her parents will keep calling.
Somehow I find the parents too strict. No I'm not saying that I blame the parents. I blame myself for not studying hard enough during sec sch days to enter into poly, I blame myself for not studying hard in ITE for another chance to get into poly. It's only when my grandma pass away, then I woke up and face the reality, that I should not take things for granted. I screw up myself hard.
It's not easy putting down a 4 years relationship when we both still care for each other.
What can I do? I'm at a loss
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Prove that you can make it through your actions.
I don't know what else to say.
She has to believe in you to be able to convince not only her parents, but herself as well.
Show her you're really working hard and that you're serious about getting a better education. Be it going into poly or taking a private dip etc.
Jiayou!
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i rmbr my parents telling me this.
if you love a girl,
it's between you and her.
not your parents. not her parents. not anybody else.
just you and her.
people can say alot of things but ultimately, it for both of you to decide.
cause it's your life.
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Originally posted by kiseki:
Prove that you can make it through your actions.
I don't know what else to say.
She has to believe in you to be able to convince not only her parents, but herself as well.
Show her you're really working hard and that you're serious about getting a better education. Be it going into poly or taking a private dip etc.
Jiayou!
Seriously I tried. Since the start of semester, I tried to work hard even though I know everything is too late to pull up my GPA.
Problem is, the parents never see me before. Their mental image about me is just ITE student in their mindset, one that can never succeed, one that can never earn much.
I'm thinking, why can't they see me in person first, judge on my character all this before they sentence me to death without a second chance.
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Originally posted by ifish:
i rmbr my parents telling me this.
if you love a girl,
it's between you and her.
not your parents. not her parents. not anybody else.
just you and her.
people can say alot of things but ultimately, it for both of you to decide.
cause it's your life.
true
sometimes i just tell her, go find a better one with someone of better education
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Originally posted by Dead_Man_Inc:
Seriously I tried. Since the start of semester, I tried to work hard even though I know everything is too late to pull up my GPA.
Problem is, the parents never see me before. Their mental image about me is just ITE student in their mindset, one that can never succeed, one that can never earn much.
I'm thinking, why can't they see me in person first, judge on my character all this before they sentence me to death without a second chance.
u can always request to meet her parents?
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Originally posted by Babelfish:
u can always request to meet her parents?
Nah, she's not ready yet
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Originally posted by ifish:
i rmbr my parents telling me this.
if you love a girl,
it's between you and her.
not your parents. not her parents. not anybody else.
just you and her.
people can say alot of things but ultimately, it for both of you to decide.
cause it's your life.
The thing is, the TS can do it, but his gf can't. She is sandwiched between him and her parents. This in turn affects the TS.
I'm thinking, why can't they see me in person first, judge on my character all this before they sentence me to death without a second chance.
I think it's because you haven't met before, but when her parents know she has a bf and asks about it, they learn that you are from ITE. The stereotype of ITE students is normally "Bad influence... smokers... lazybums..." you get my drift. So that's why they already created a mental image of you as an ITE student, not a guy who is serious about succeeding in life and providing their daughter with a good life.
First impressions are very important, and that's their first impression of you, which is hard to change since you haven't met them in person before.
I blame myself for not studying hard enough during sec sch days to enter into poly, I blame myself for not studying hard in ITE for another chance to get into poly. It's only when my grandma pass away, then I woke up and face the reality, that I should not take things for granted. I screw up myself hard.
From here, I think that their first impression of you wasn't wrong, in the sense that you were really not serious about school then, so when your gf told her parents she couldn't really put in good words for you in this sense. Uhhh I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Haha. So that contributed to their 'first impression' of their daughter's bf, which they have never met before, and as I've said, first impressions are often hard to change.
You can try meeting her parents though, but don't force her or pressurize her. I think she's stressed enough as it is.
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Originally posted by kiseki:
The thing is, the TS can do it, but his gf can't. She is sandwiched between him and her parents. This in turn affects the TS.
I'm thinking, why can't they see me in person first, judge on my character all this before they sentence me to death without a second chance.
I think it's because you haven't met before, but when her parents know she has a bf and asks about it, they learn that you are from ITE. The stereotype of ITE students is normally "Bad influence... smokers... lazybums..." you get my drift. So that's why they already created a mental image of you as an ITE student, not a guy who is serious about succeeding in life and providing their daughter with a good life.
First impressions are very important, and that's their first impression of you, which is hard to change since you haven't met them in person before.
I blame myself for not studying hard enough during sec sch days to enter into poly, I blame myself for not studying hard in ITE for another chance to get into poly. It's only when my grandma pass away, then I woke up and face the reality, that I should not take things for granted. I screw up myself hard.
From here, I think that their first impression of you wasn't wrong, in the sense that you were really not serious about school then, so when your gf told her parents she couldn't really put in good words for you in this sense. Uhhh I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Haha. So that contributed to their 'first impression' of their daughter's bf, which they have never met before, and as I've said, first impressions are often hard to change.
You can try meeting her parents though, but don't force her or pressurize her. I think she's stressed enough as it is.
The thing is, the TS can do it, but his gf can't. She is sandwiched between him and her parents. This in turn affects the TS.
Yup yup, she's sandwiched betweeen us.
I think it's because you haven't met before, but when her parents know she has a bf and asks about it, they learn that you are from ITE. The stereotype of ITE students is normally "Bad influence... smokers... lazybums..." you get my drift. So that's why they already created a mental image of you as an ITE student, not a guy who is serious about succeeding in life and providing their daughter with a good life.
From here, I think that their first impression of you wasn't wrong, in the sense that you were really not serious about school then, so when your gf told her parents she couldn't really put in good words for you in this sense. Uhhh I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Haha. So that contributed to their 'first impression' of their daughter's bf, which they have never met before, and as I've said, first impressions are often hard to change.
You can try meeting her parents though, but don't force her or pressurize her. I think she's stressed enough as it is.
Hmmm, I got your point. Don't think I will pressure her to meet her parents. I'm not ready at the moment too. Last time still young and naive, thought that everything will be smooth. When I get older, then I regret of my actions back then.
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gota work harder and get a diploma cert, if u have the heart.. go for a degree
but not everything jian jiu degree also.. if u got skill, or entrepreneurship can think of starting a businessall the best
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juz curious... your gf holding what cert ?
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I've got friends from ITE who then went to SCDF and they got their safety cert...
now they are having a better job and pay then a diploma holder as a safety supervisor.
Sometime luck plays a part...
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If i think from a parent view>
They will want her daughter to marry some1 that can provide for their daughter in the future, which is correct in a sence.But to like that pressure her daughter to leave you is really abit>i'must say knn!@#$%^&...If she left.,as others hv said buck up, study hard get a power cert to let them see u'r not useless.Let her & parent regret in not choosing you..
Mayb speak with her parents, let them know your sincerity, it might work out, cos i think any parent would like their child to hv a good marriage.(put $ aside) unless they are very successful & control freak and decide for their daughter...
Neverdeless, Good Luck in your relationship.
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It doesn't matter what the parents think but what she thinks... If she wants to give in to her parents' wishes instead of making it work with you, then there's nothing you can do about it irregardless of what the parents think...
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Originally posted by Dead_Man_Inc:
As some of you who knows me here, I'm from ITE. Being ITE student isn't a big deal, but there are people out there who don't think ITE students are good.
The same goes to my girlfriend's parent. Recently, her parents keep pressuring her, asking if she is still with me or not. It seems like they do not have good impression of ITE students.They said that our relationship will suffer, as a result of her earning more than me in the future.
Education plays a part, which is true.
But when she told her parents that I will further my studies, her parents said, "Huh, you still want to be with him ah?"
As a result, recently my gf has been feeling the pressure from them. Last night, she ask for a break, as she does not want to disappoint her parents. Yes, she's a good girl, she can't go out at night, maybe have to return home by 8-9pm? Or else her parents will keep calling.
Somehow I find the parents too strict. No I'm not saying that I blame the parents. I blame myself for not studying hard enough during sec sch days to enter into poly, I blame myself for not studying hard in ITE for another chance to get into poly. It's only when my grandma pass away, then I woke up and face the reality, that I should not take things for granted. I screw up myself hard.
It's not easy putting down a 4 years relationship when we both still care for each other.
What can I do? I'm at a loss
there are people in singapore think that studying in SIM distance learning is inferior to that of studying in Australian campus for the same course.
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Originally posted by Dead_Man_Inc:
As some of you who knows me here, I'm from ITE. Being ITE student isn't a big deal, but there are people out there who don't think ITE students are good.
The same goes to my girlfriend's parent. Recently, her parents keep pressuring her, asking if she is still with me or not. It seems like they do not have good impression of ITE students.They said that our relationship will suffer, as a result of her earning more than me in the future.
Education plays a part, which is true.
But when she told her parents that I will further my studies, her parents said, "Huh, you still want to be with him ah?"
As a result, recently my gf has been feeling the pressure from them. Last night, she ask for a break, as she does not want to disappoint her parents. Yes, she's a good girl, she can't go out at night, maybe have to return home by 8-9pm? Or else her parents will keep calling.
Somehow I find the parents too strict. No I'm not saying that I blame the parents. I blame myself for not studying hard enough during sec sch days to enter into poly, I blame myself for not studying hard in ITE for another chance to get into poly. It's only when my grandma pass away, then I woke up and face the reality, that I should not take things for granted. I screw up myself hard.
It's not easy putting down a 4 years relationship when we both still care for each other.
What can I do? I'm at a loss
there are people in singapore think that studying in SIM distance learning is inferior to that of studying in Australian campus for the same course.
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what makes u think ITE is any better than that?
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Originally posted by Worldlybusinessman:
what makes u think ITE is any better than that?
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Originally posted by Worldlybusinessman:
there are people in singapore think that studying in SIM distance learning is inferior to that of studying in Australian campus for the same course.
he doesn't need to think that ITE is better than that.. but he's definitely much better than you...
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seriously i see so mani ite grads going uni nowadays
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Originally posted by tinuviel07:
It doesn't matter what the parents think but what she thinks... If she wants to give in to her parents' wishes instead of making it work with you, then there's nothing you can do about it irregardless of what the parents think...
totally agree with this.... thats what i think too.
TS, what qualification is she holding? The parents seem to be very sure that their daughter will be earning higher than TS. This is like 狗眼看人低....TS, I think that there's nothing you can do right now, besides talking to your gf and see what she thinks........... Cuz achievement cant be attained overnight, it takes time. But for the moment, you gotta prove yourself. Continue to work hard. It takes time to prove something, like your sense of worth and also your academic qualification.
I dont think meeting the parents is a necessary move, but thats just my opinion.
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Originally posted by Worldlybusinessman:
what makes u think ITE is any better than that?
since when did i say that?
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she's currently pursuing her diploma cert in poly
maybe thats why her parents will think that way? -
Originally posted by Dead_Man_Inc:
she's currently pursuing her diploma cert in poly
maybe thats why her parents will think that way?My bf's a higher nitec grad, and I just finished poly. My parents didn't say much about qualifications too. I still think the prob lies with how your gf introduced you, and her parent's mindset.
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Fudge her parents.
