I share a platonic relationship wit a guy fren for over 9 years now. We have been so comfortable with each other that we almost share everything with each other. We even share a mutual friend that we always hang out with.
Recently, he show interest in his bestfren sister and i even help him, giving him sound advice as how to go bout it. but seems like it doesnt work out and i know that he feels dejected. I empathise with him because he has been lonely for too long and maybe a rejection was not something he can handle very well. but what makes me give up on him was... he actually dated some random girl and now there are together. I mean, how could someone actually be in relationship soon after being rejected? unless of course that girl was unluckily the "rebound" to mask his sadness. As a friend i hate to see him like that.. to make it crude i hate to see him use him.. thou he denied by sayin that he's really in love with the girl.. Well i dont think so.. how could you fall out and fall in love at almost simultaneously??
I got nothin against the girl, i just dun think he's that into her just yet and having her around at our usual hangout just give me goosebump. It gives me unpleasant feelin to be around them. how do i tell him without hurtin his feelin that i dun feel comfortable havin his girl around at our hangout yet and maybe he should take it slow with her? or to make thing even simpler shud i just lash out my displeaseness and end this friendship?.... I love him. I want him to be happy but not like this.. he's doing thing wrong and i cant just sit around and let him slide...
just say lor
guys need people to tell them in the face
don't bother hinting
wont it be like too harsh on him....
is he an emo or crybaby?
yes. too harsh. go for the other option, don't tell him.
emo very emo.. but he's not the type that il show it to ur face... but i noe him so well to noe that he's BLARDY EMO! hek
he so emo then dun tell him lah
just suck thumb
not all guys like their friend's gfs also what
The thing is if i dun tell him, for sure he's gonna bring that girl (whoever her name is) to hang out wit us.... it's gonna be awkward - with capital letter u see..
I seriously wun mind but i nd times to adjust to the whole situation here..
You love him. In a more platonic kind of way.
Keii : yes keii...its all platonic.
skythewood: den wat would u suggest ?
Originally posted by solafine:Keii : yes keii...its all platonic.
skythewood: den wat would u suggest ?
Pardon me, I seem to have typed that out of sleepiness.
Do understand that a platonic relationship is a very mutual understanding between the two, spiritual and free of sensual desire.
It seems to me that to you think what you feel for him, it is platonic. Which would be the case for him, thus the interest in a more intimate or special target. Which kinda makes you feel, uncomfortable, or jealous in a sense.
Being good friends, and comfortable with each other does not mean it is platonic. I feel platonic relationships are much more deeper, based on circumstances which both parties experience, or cannot comprehand, or settle etc.
I could be wrong, but from what I see, this love you have for him, is more than just platonic.
and i agree with keii
TS i noe how u feel... seriously.. just tell him in the face..
usually this kind of situation is the end of friendship.
Originally posted by solafine:I share a platonic relationship wit a guy fren for over 9 years now. We have been so comfortable with each other that we almost share everything with each other. We even share a mutual friend that we always hang out with.
Recently, he show interest in his bestfren sister and i even help him, giving him sound advice as how to go bout it. but seems like it doesnt work out and i know that he feels dejected. I empathise with him because he has been lonely for too long and maybe a rejection was not something he can handle very well. but what makes me give up on him was... he actually dated some random girl and now there are together. I mean, how could someone actually be in relationship soon after being rejected? unless of course that girl was unluckily the "rebound" to mask his sadness. As a friend i hate to see him like that.. to make it crude i hate to see him use him.. thou he denied by sayin that he's really in love with the girl.. Well i dont think so.. how could you fall out and fall in love at almost simultaneously??
I got nothin against the girl, i just dun think he's that into her just yet and having her around at our usual hangout just give me goosebump. It gives me unpleasant feelin to be around them. how do i tell him without hurtin his feelin that i dun feel comfortable havin his girl around at our hangout yet and maybe he should take it slow with her? or to make thing even simpler shud i just lash out my displeaseness and end this friendship?.... I love him. I want him to be happy but not like this.. he's doing thing wrong and i cant just sit around and let him slide...
You are too kay poh... let him live his life and make his mistakes....
at first i thought the platonic rs would be ruined by one having feelings for the other.
platonic rs is good and has high successful rate i believe. there may be a case of mutual feelings but dont dare to express, due to the fear of rejection. fear not, just do it. if got rejected, move on.
it hurts when got rejected but it hurts more when hiding the feelings you have for someone.
honestly as a guy
if i don't like my friend's gf, i just keep quiet.
if this is a platonic relationship then you should be just like a regular guy friend to him, so... don't say anything.
Thks keii. that is very insightful :) and im sure of the whole situation. it's all platonic. No romantic feeling involve here.
Mr Andrew, yes im kaypoh for that matter. I shud have just sit one corner, smoke one side while watchin him do all his mistake.. watch him drop to the ground and do nothin but watch him only..... that shud be fun.. I suppose that is the kind of friend we should all be from now on...
Thank you all for the kind input but the quest now is not bout how i feel for him and whether i shud start question my platonic rs wit him.. but the thing is now.. how do i tell him that im not comfortable havin his gf at our usual hangout yet.. i nd time to adjust to it without hurtin his feeling... as we all noe: Men and Ego; they are inseparable
Originally posted by solafine:Keii : yes keii...its all platonic.
skythewood: den wat would u suggest ?
I think i posted before. Don't tell him. No need to do anything else.
look
he likes the girl
u are just uncomfortable with her
my friend is getting married this year end with a girl that i don't quite like, what do u want me to do?
are you having this 'problem' based on your own issues with her? that would be pretty selfish don't u think?
just because you don't like the girl, means your friend has to feel the same way
in the ferst place why would i have an issue with someone i barely noe? ok truth is i dun hev any prob wit the girl, but i do hev a prob wit my fren instead. i dun agree wit him jumpin into a relationship wit a girl to soon after bein rejected by the girl that he likes. you see the prob is; i dun quite like the idea that this new girl il only be a temporary phase where now i see her wit us, later i wont be seein her anymore... and the bigger prob is, be it her or any other girl, to be used as a tool/rebound to mend a broken heart is a total unacceptable
I ask u, can u actually claim you love A soon after bein rejected by B?
if my friend suddenly says he loves this girl after he gets rejected, i just accept it.
everyone has different values.
u are a just a platonic friend for over 9yrs, then u should know better whether to open your mouth or not. your head should already tell u how he'll react to what you say.
sometimes its best to keep quiet.
sometimes someone needs a slap in the face by the friend
sometimes someone needs a really hard slap in the face by the problem itself
u go and judge, based on your over 9yrs of friendship, which is a better solution. because only you know the answer.
as a friend, give sound advice, put your displeasure aside, but be objective.
then leave it to him to accept the advice or not, without condemning him, but be there to comfort him if he bang against the wall.
i don't see any wrong with him? he didnt make any wrong what. the best friend sis never even accept him or something.
i don't see any wrong with him? he didnt make any wrong what. the best friend sis never even accept him or something. what