misunderstood guys
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I'm sure somehow somewhere in time, you've heard people calling someone "sissy", the very usual "gay" and probably other more demeaning words. And fact is, people have called me that at different points of my life.
Being a more gentle-natured person, i consider myself quite a friendly and fun person to talk to, and one most people - including girls - can talk to. Maybe it's the way i talk or the way i might sub-consciously act, people have found it to be effeminate.
Furthermore, honestly, i don't do alot of thing guys usually do. I'm not sporty, i don't play games or watch soccer and i'm not the type that looks out for "babes" wherever i go. Basically, not the typical manly or macho-ish guy.
Nevertheless i still have been able to find good friends who can probably see past my "effeminate" or "gay-ish" behaviour. But i just find it saddening and demoralising when people (especially new people) judge and stereotype so easily. I have now become reserved of my own actions in order to avoid hurtful comments from people or even ignore their "unworthy remarks" but somehow it always returns.
Is anyone is the same circumstance as me? Maybe you can share what you have experience so i can learn how to deal with it better.
I'm sure there'll be some of you who are the type who don't like this kind of effeminate behaviour, so hopefully if you will just ignore this thread if you have nothing better to say. thanks.
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people in this forum oso judge v fast one
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It's ok dear.
Now let this be a thread for you to pour out your feelings to the rest of us.
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me knw of guys who r soft-spoken & gentle yet manly.
if u lealli look ah gua den ppl will say u ah gua.
bt me oso hv quite a few gay frds.
so u shld juz admit it.
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Originally posted by charlize:
It's ok dear.
Now let this be a thread for you to pour out your feelings to the rest of us.
sibeh é…¸ -
Originally posted by lavoix:
I'm sure somehow somewhere in time, you've heard people calling someone "sissy", the very usual "gay" and probably other more demeaning words. And fact is, people have called me that at different points of my life.
Being a more gentle-natured person, i consider myself quite a friendly and fun person to talk to, and one most people - including girls - can talk to. Maybe it's the way i talk or the way i might sub-consciously act, people have found it to be effeminate.
Furthermore, honestly, i don't do alot of thing guys usually do. I'm not sporty, i don't play games or watch soccer and i'm not the type that looks out for "babes" wherever i go. Basically, not the typical manly or macho-ish guy.
Nevertheless i still have been able to find good friends who can probably see past my "effeminate" or "gay-ish" behaviour. But i just find it saddening and demoralising when people (especially new people) judge and stereotype so easily. I have now become reserved of my own actions in order to avoid hurtful comments from people or even ignore their "unworthy remarks" but somehow it always returns.
Is anyone is the same circumstance as me? Maybe you can share what you have experience so i can learn how to deal with it better.
I'm sure there'll be some of you who are the type who don't like this kind of effeminate behaviour, so hopefully if you will just ignore this thread if you have nothing better to say. thanks.
What would you like us to say to you without being offensive?What do you want from us?
At least you need to let us know without making us looking like some naive people ok?
If you just need a friend, you can always pm Fantagf, he got the same sexual preference as you.
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Originally posted by lavoix:
I'm sure somehow somewhere in time, you've heard people calling someone "sissy", the very usual "gay" and probably other more demeaning words. And fact is, people have called me that at different points of my life.
Being a more gentle-natured person, i consider myself quite a friendly and fun person to talk to, and one most people - including girls - can talk to. Maybe it's the way i talk or the way i might sub-consciously act, people have found it to be effeminate.
Furthermore, honestly, i don't do alot of thing guys usually do. I'm not sporty, i don't play games or watch soccer and i'm not the type that looks out for "babes" wherever i go. Basically, not the typical manly or macho-ish guy.
Nevertheless i still have been able to find good friends who can probably see past my "effeminate" or "gay-ish" behaviour. But i just find it saddening and demoralising when people (especially new people) judge and stereotype so easily. I have now become reserved of my own actions in order to avoid hurtful comments from people or even ignore their "unworthy remarks" but somehow it always returns.
Is anyone is the same circumstance as me? Maybe you can share what you have experience so i can learn how to deal with it better.
I'm sure there'll be some of you who are the type who don't like this kind of effeminate behaviour, so hopefully if you will just ignore this thread if you have nothing better to say. thanks.
how old are u?
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for goodness sake, if you guys can't understand "misunderstood", then you are the gay ones alright.
so immature and stupid of you guys to be exactly what he was hoping to avoid. grow up pls...
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nevermind, guess this is obviously not the right place to air such problems, when the bunch of people here mostly are less than mature. no further replies required...
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if u so mature, u wun b bothered by such remarks le.
y not u try contacting Crossdress or sataysticks?
mabbe they can empathise wif ur predicament.
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hello hello kitty, it's precisely because i'm more matured (i didn't say i'm matured, but definitely MORE matured that u and those ppl i mentioned) that's why i'm seeking to understand the situation, and in a mature way.
your suggestions suggest how "mature" you are too btw.
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to seek to understand the situation shows how well you know yourself...
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What i can say to you is that you are some sort of deviance. You deviate from the rest. What you are and what you do or rather your character is different from most people.
That is why people judge you differently. Obviously when you are a guy, you dont do sports, you do watch soccer or play games, you dont look macho or what.. then what do you do? Dont tell me you like knitting sewing or reading story books?
Usually when people are differnt from the rest, they are outclassed. True you may have some friends that "see past" your feminine nature, but are you sure they really see you as the same as other guys around?
Which guy in this world dont look at other girls? Even those with gf or wife will still loook at other girls.
I think by saying you click with girls, most of them regard you as some type of sisters.
I believe you should start changing yourself, be a guy.
Anyway you did not tell us ya age, and you have a cocky attitude based on your replies to the others. I can imagine you with ya ah gua or feminine attitude and with such a cocky attitude, I tell you, you will suffer. I can also think that most probably you have not attended the NS, because in the NS you meets lots of people and you will encounter much worse remarks.
Also if you cant accept people's remarks, dont post here in the forum. You want to ask, you sure expect criticism.
All i can advise you is if you want to feel normal infront of you friends, then you be normal. Be just like the rest, dont stand out. Understand?
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yea to add on...i imagine you to be a pretty arrogant male in reality...
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omg this thread suits me too well, just because i dun snatch i dun do aggrassive things ppl keep calling me gay wth lol . .hi5 man
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i understander, well as you know in forum, everyone judge as quick as what they see. so sometimes, you just got to bear with it loh. im okays with guys who are soft or gentle or just simply not so man enough. no offend i got friends who are real gays
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Originally posted by lavoix:
hello hello kitty, it's precisely because i'm more matured (i didn't say i'm matured, but definitely MORE matured that u and those ppl i mentioned) that's why i'm seeking to understand the situation, and in a mature way.
your suggestions suggest how "mature" you are too btw.
u cant handle the truth.
wat more u wan to undrstd.
u ah gua so ppl call u ah gua.
so stop behavin like an ah gua.
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Originally posted by wonderamazement:
yea to add on...i imagine you to be a pretty arrogant male in reality...
add petty & bitchy to it.
juz like most guniangs.
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TS one word for you:
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-.- all he did was air his problems in the forum and den u all go flame him. how to amit ur a gay when ur not a gay .theres a difference between a gay and look like a gay
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why would you want to seek anything like this in a forum.. so weird...
of all people to get assurances from..
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the whole idea of what a 'guy' should be like is merely socially constructed. but sadly, the society that believes in that certain SC of what a 'guy' should be like will see it as the 'truth' and 'norm'. and anything that is outside of the 'norm' will be 'abnormal'. if the way you are now is the way you think you are, you can choose to either fark care what others have to say/think about you. or you can 're-mould' yourself such that you will fit into the box that is 'male' in your society.
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Originally posted by tinuviel07:
why would you want to seek anything like this in a forum.. so weird...
of all people to get assurances from..
he just wan people to share their experiences so that he can deal with it better. hes not the first and will not be the last to get into tat kind of situation. like just sharing ur experiences with him if u happen to have this kind of experiences too and wat did u do
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Originally posted by udontknowme:
the whole idea of what a 'guy' should be like is merely socially constructed. but sadly, the society that believes in that certain SC of what a 'guy' should be like will see it as the 'truth' and 'norm'. and anything that is outside of the 'norm' will be 'abnormal'. if the way you are now is the way you think you are, you can choose to either fark care what others have to say/think about you. or you can 're-mould' yourself such that you will fit into the box that is 'male' in your society.
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Originally posted by Warcounter:
-.- all he did was air his problems in the forum and den u all go flame him. how to amit ur a gay when ur not a gay .theres a difference between a gay and look like a gay
we helpin to toughen him up.but he's provin to be a softie.