Depressed..........
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sorry to hear about your woes.....
the resident uncle agony will be best to advise u....
/me looks for yunhaier
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its not wrong to leave for another guy loh...if he is better and u r comfortable...even if u break with ur bf and u will still get to meet other guy in ur journey in life...dont feel so sad about it...if ur bf dont treasure u, go for another one who will. watever u do, just follow ur heart, and watever u type, pls leave a space in between. cause very hard to read.
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IF there's a GOOD REASON for you to leave your current bf for a better one, I don't see why not...? Feel like you're betraying your current bf...? Go back to him and see if things can be revived..? If it CAN'T be, then may I ask you...? Would you choose to be 'betraying' your bf or simply DECEIVING yourself...? When a rope is not strong enough to hold two together, no point tying back the snapped ropes... For it would just snap again and again unless something good is changed.....Originally posted by plain: I'm missing a person.. whom I loved very much, However, I suppose he wun get to know it....
I met him in school, became gd friends... We chat almost everyday, regardless of anything..I have a bf, he has someone in mind.. just like normal friends, chat about our problems. My bf and I have been together for 2 yrs but we had quite a number of miscommuincations and arguments, therefore sometimes i tend to be rather disheartened about this relationship...
He..my good friend, we started to get very closed no matter in school or when chatting, we started going out, doing things together.. very soon, we fall for each other. I did declared my feelings to him and he too... I didn' know what happen but although i am very happy being with him, I would remind myself that i should be responsible of my actions, cus I have a bf.. I don;t want myself to betray him... however in my heart I understand who I really like... but I have to be responsible... One day, he ask me to choose between my bf and him ... so out of frustration, I asked him to go.....telling him that I am a responsible person... I will not leave my bf just like that. Just imagine if I'm a kind of person that could leave my bf for another guy, i could have done that to him too... I just wish he understand... we never contact every since not even take one single look in school.... I feel miserable... cus I really loved him... In order to attempt to stop missing him, I agreed to engaged with my bf... I have make a mistake I know, hurting my bf and him.. i am a sinner... but it's no way to return... During Valentines', I only can send him a msg, secretly send him a bday gift on his bday without a name.... always dream of him that we were back like how we used to be..... I love him... really... not a crush..... [/i] -
dare to live = dare to love....
trust ur heart.....not your conscence
cos u only live once......so live it to the fullest. -
Many times in life, there we are often given better choices as days passed - morally, what you did is admirable and sensible - just that subconsciously, you have already slipped pass the line - the line that marks 'best friend'.Originally posted by plain: I'm missing a person.. whom I loved very much, However, I suppose he wun get to know it....
I met him in school, became gd friends... We chat almost everyday, regardless of anything..I have a bf, he has someone in mind.. just like normal friends, chat about our problems. My bf and I have been together for 2 yrs but we had quite a number of miscommuincations and arguments, therefore sometimes i tend to be rather disheartened about this relationship...
He..my good friend, we started to get very closed no matter in school or when chatting, we started going out, doing things together.. very soon, we fall for each other. I did declared my feelings to him and he too... I didn' know what happen but although i am very happy being with him, I would remind myself that i should be responsible of my actions, cus I have a bf.. I don;t want myself to betray him... however in my heart I understand who I really like... but I have to be responsible... One day, he ask me to choose between my bf and him ... so out of frustration, I asked him to go.....telling him that I am a responsible person... I will not leave my bf just like that. Just imagine if I'm a kind of person that could leave my bf for another guy, i could have done that to him too... I just wish he understand... we never contact every since not even take one single look in school.... I feel miserable... cus I really loved him... In order to attempt to stop missing him, I agreed to engaged with my bf... I have make a mistake I know, hurting my bf and him.. i am a sinner... but it's no way to return... During Valentines', I only can send him a msg, secretly send him a bday gift on his bday without a name.... always dream of him that we were back like how we used to be..... I love him... really... not a crush..... [/i]
So you both fell in love - Do you believe me if I were to say its perfectly alright to like each other, yet at the same time not being together? Remaining platonic that is. It's true that you should not leave your boyfriend because of another coming guy - because your present boyfriend is a choice you made - if better guys are coming and you leave, this is a vicious never-ending cycle. You knew this and suppress your attempt to start this cycle.
By the way, trying to be responsible for your choice is not = to love. Your first and deadly mistake came from the engagement - you shouldn't even speak about engagement/marriage since there is this unresolved issue involving this possible potential. To make a hasty and rash decision is to hurt everyone in the end. Especially your present boyfriend, who was kept in the dark from everything.
I must admit one thing - that guy is pretty immature when he asked you to make a choice between him and your bf. I mean, seriously speaking: apart from friendship status, who is he to ask you to make a choice right? Even though the both of you like each other: but the thing is that he KNEW from the beginning that you are already attached. He made the choice to like you - that's his own problem. You too made the choice to love him - its your problem, but you did what you think was right. (apart from the engagement thingy). Then he? By avoiding?
From the avoiding, we can see that right from the start he already had the intention to chase you because when he sees there is an opportunity to get you, he was rejected. If this intention wasn't an intention early in your friendship, even after being reject, he would have opt to remain as friends forever because the both of you knew each other so well - think wanna sacrifice a good friendship over nothing?
Ok enough of analysis; here's Cloud's piece of mind.
Two wrong doesn't make a right - you made the choice, you have to stick with it. Even though you chose to engage with him - you have discuss and improve certain aspects in the relation with your present bf, instead of thinking of an easy way - which is a change of bf. Do your duty as a gf in your relationships and let this little chapter close.
Feelings and liking is one major part in everyone's life. By acknowledging it quickly and know where to draw the line is very important. If he wants to avoid contact, etc - let him be. There is a great risk in trying to chase an attached woman - he took the risk and failed, therefore avoidance is taking place.
As for you: As his avoidance continues, this love will gradually diminish. It won't go off - but at least take the good time to calm your heated passion and irrational sense. The both of you need some period of time to ponder over life's priorities and each personal 'right' thing to do.
Even when friendships returns next time in the future - lay down the ground rules and never attempt to across it.
Phrase of the day: To love someone, isn't always about being together as a couple.
Cheers -
long but nicely put...
dun jump into a fire is what all i have to say -
I guess 2 yrs is not a short time, neither is it a long time, but can tell like you said, its not a crus.... so why. To be fair, in matters of love, there aren't really right and wrong.. if you can get along better with someone, and for whatever reasons, grab that chance, why not. ya..ya... people always say, if you can do that, who knows you may do it a 2nd time too. But there in, ask yourself what was the reason behind this and how it started. It happen to me too, while my g/f was away and she gave me the cold shoulder w/o a trace while she was on oversea assignment for 5 wks thinking I will be there (that's her assumption). So she simply disappear until the trips end w/o a single call. Guess what, I was with my classmate during her project days and night during this period, she busy with hers and me with mine. Then the unthinkable happen as I found out as we both confessed to liking each other. I found out base on her reaction and my behaviour. I could not commit myself to the new found love as I felt responsible for my g/f despite the wks of silence. We went on a cooling period (of course, miserable too), I guess that my case was just another one of those short lived one. My girl friend then is my wife now. Your case, be rational and think of it as a whole, is it worth it? If yes, believe in what you think. One more thing, how long have you know your b/f? and how well you understand him compare this friend of yours... you would have your answer I believe... you can make the choice counts and be free from your depression.
Another thing, be ware that cases like yours, getting along well with your friends is often better than yr b/f, why? think about that, expectation of b/f and friends are also different too. As you shift gear to a higher level in your relationship, you will find that things may begin to change too, what then, things may no longer seems to be what it used to be... we all changes.. but love does not.. think carefully about it. -
Your story is an exact mirror of mine. And Yes 'Depress' is the word.
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it is all fated.
If u are fated to be wif your current bf, even mi would not be able to separate the two of u.
But if not fated to be together, even super-glue will not work.
U are still young, mi believe (cos u still studying). Are u choosing a life partner? mention of engagment? Are u too young to think of tat, and did u do it out of impulse? or really out of love for your current bf (cos u start to regret liao)....
Be truthful to yourself, as well as to others too...cos in the end, many pple will be hurt if u make decisions rashly.
Live on and take time to select, the best, for yourself...and dun take your whole life to find him, cos he might be just in front of u all the time afterall. 
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i am a gentleman
Check for your smiley here -
no fate..Originally posted by sgboy2004:it is all fated.
If u are fated to be wif your current bf, even mi would not be able to separate the two of u.
But if not fated to be together, even super-glue will not work.
U are still young, mi believe (cos u still studying). Are u choosing a life partner? mention of engagment? Are u too young to think of tat, and did u do it out of impulse? or really out of love for your current bf (cos u start to regret liao)....
Be truthful to yourself, as well as to others too...cos in the end, many pple will be hurt if u make decisions rashly.
Live on and take time to select, the best, for yourself...and dun take your whole life to find him, cos he might be just in front of u all the time afterall.
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i am a gentleman
Check for your smiley here
we make choices, and what choice we make affects what happens 10 years down the road.. so make the right choices.
and i agree. if u feel that u are more secure and u are better looked after by this person, go for him, i dun tink ur current bf enjoys hving miscommunication with you and things are not working out. -
Hi ppl,
I really wanna say thankz to those who really spent effort reading my forum....
At least I'm glad I made a right choice to spend these times writing my story out...
I suppose all of you must be puzzled whether my bf know about this matter. I will tell everyone yes he knows... But he did not blame me cus he said he knew exactly why things have led me to fall for another guy.
I want to say that my bf is indeed a great guy.. so in the end I rather stay with him... perhaps it did involved a bit of graditude. I wouldn't say that I don't love my bf anymore but I did really fell for my friend...
I knew feelings for him won;t disappear, I'll try my best to restrict especially if ever I will contact him if there's dis day.. I hope everyone will wish me best..... k?
Don't be puzzled... but I just wish to share my story to everyone..
I saw someone that has mentioned about having the same story as me? can U tell me more about it? Hope to share.
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You are an intelligent lady, I am sure things will turn out better for you - & since your boyfriends knew about this too, I am pretty sure things will get better.Originally posted by plain:Hi ppl,
I really wanna say thankz to those who really spent effort reading my forum....
At least I'm glad I made a right choice to spend these times writing my story out...
I suppose all of you must be puzzled whether my bf know about this matter. I will tell everyone yes he knows... But he did not blame me cus he said he knew exactly why things have led me to fall for another guy.
I want to say that my bf is indeed a great guy.. so in the end I rather stay with him... perhaps it did involved a bit of graditude. I wouldn't say that I don't love my bf anymore but I did really fell for my friend...
I knew feelings for him won;t disappear, I'll try my best to restrict especially if ever I will contact him if there's dis day.. I hope everyone will wish me best..... k?
Don't be puzzled... but I just wish to share my story to everyone..
I saw someone that has mentioned about having the same story as me? can U tell me more about it? Hope to share.
Cheers -
Hi yunhaier.....
I suppose you are a very mature person... from the things you have written... I admire your thinking...
I'm not intelligent... like what you think perhaps I should pu tit i'm the kind of person that would think for others than to myself 1st (i'm too soft hearted at timess....) great talking to everyone of you here...
You all are great! -
Welcome to Sgforum anyway...Originally posted by plain:Hi yunhaier.....
I suppose you are a very mature person... from the things you have written... I admire your thinking...
I'm not intelligent... like what you think perhaps I should pu tit i'm the kind of person that would think for others than to myself 1st (i'm too soft hearted at timess....) great talking to everyone of you here...
You all are great! -
HA! I'm very interested to give thought that if Yun faces his own adversities. Would he be able to rationalise his thoughts.Originally posted by plain:Hi yunhaier.....
I suppose you are a very mature person... from the things you have written... I admire your thinking...
I'm not intelligent... like what you think perhaps I should pu tit i'm the kind of person that would think for others than to myself 1st (i'm too soft hearted at timess....) great talking to everyone of you here...
You all are great!
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welcomeOriginally posted by plain:Hi ppl,
I really wanna say thankz to those who really spent effort reading my forum....
At least I'm glad I made a right choice to spend these times writing my story out...
I suppose all of you must be puzzled whether my bf know about this matter. I will tell everyone yes he knows... But he did not blame me cus he said he knew exactly why things have led me to fall for another guy.
I want to say that my bf is indeed a great guy.. so in the end I rather stay with him... perhaps it did involved a bit of graditude. I wouldn't say that I don't love my bf anymore but I did really fell for my friend...
I knew feelings for him won;t disappear, I'll try my best to restrict especially if ever I will contact him if there's dis day.. I hope everyone will wish me best..... k?
Don't be puzzled... but I just wish to share my story to everyone..
I saw someone that has mentioned about having the same story as me? can U tell me more about it? Hope to share. 
did u post the story to 93.3 fm? -
Through my own experience as a counsellor, i think even for someone who can dispense great advice to others, when it comes to themselves facing relationship problems, they can get irrational too, maybe thats what they mean by love is blind, so Yunhaier may also be irrational when it comes to himself but maybe he can snap out of his irrationale faster than most people.Originally posted by M©+square:HA! I'm very interested to give thought that if Yun faces his own adversities. Would he be able to rationalise his thoughts. -
Yes, perhaps it's true that they do have the ability to snap out of the emotional struggles and be rational in thought faster then others.Originally posted by gasband:Through my own experience as a counsellor, i think even for someone who can dispense great advice to others, when it comes to themselves facing relationship problems, they can get irrational too, maybe thats what they mean by love is blind, so Yunhaier may also be irrational when it comes to himself but maybe he can snap out of his irrationale faster than most people.
Should i explain in a way in which because these people have been practicing how to rationalise most of the time? Hence, thru adversities, they're logical senses are more active then the emotional?
Sorry...i guess i'm too theoretical here...
Spoiler -
No? Is there someone that post it???Originally posted by dark_slayer79:welcome did u post the story to 93.3 fm?
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It's a very common story in 9.33FM.Originally posted by plain:No? Is there someone that post it???
Every night can hear..... -
Oh. I see...Originally posted by M©+square:It's a very common story in 9.33FM.
Every night can hear.....
I would like to share your story too..
Do you mind? -
PMOriginally posted by plain:Oh. I see...
I would like to share your story too..
Do you mind? -
??Originally posted by M©+square:PM