Where is my heart
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change ur number, cut all contact wif her. Dun let her interfere wif ur future. Even though she cried to u, this may be the surface. looks like she treats u as a rebound after the married man gave her false hope. I assume u are old enough to think about ur own future. U deserve a better woman. Once u got ur masters, women will knock on ur door automatically.
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Originally posted by thickskin23:
I will make things short, i have a gf for 3 yrs, we never had any sexual r/s. I am an auditor getting my masters this is my last semester. I admit i neglect her as i had to juggle work n studies but i do make a point to date her twice a week.
One day she call me crying saying that she had know a guy and had sex with him. She was intending to ditch me, buit she realise that guy is actually married. She lost control on that day and i guess thats why she blurt all the things. She beg for my forgiveness.
I can never forgive her but i cannot stand her sms every single day and everytime i read it i can concentrate. So i did a terrible thing i tell her i will forgive her but in my heart i told myself i will ditch her after my masters exam.
We date once or twice a week, i never hold her hands anymore as i feel its dirty. I became so bad temper can anyone help me
Help you as in giving you advice? Apparently you continue to have feelings for her and yes, hate is a feeling too. Advice is not what you need. You just need some time. You need time to either forgive her or find the courage to break up.
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Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit. - Alexandre Dumas
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Dear "thickskinned"
its quite amusing reading ur fake entry on sg forums. its quite obvious to me that u are trying to make the gal look bad instead of urself.
a lot of inconsistencies
1. auditors dont take master programs , they dont need to and they are already professionally qualified and registered with accounting bodies
2. your words betray ur thoughts.."can never forgive her but i cannot stand her sms every single day and everytime i read it i can concentrate. <?>
"i have a gf for 3 yrs, we never had any sexual r/s." understandable if its a normal posting but being first line means its dubious especially sg forums is well known to be a gossipy forum for the average who discuss market place read savvy thinking dun believe me - look at the titles of all the different boards like SAF, mobile phones etc etc would an auditor hang here rather than in any other business forums? it makes me wonder if the first line and the second line are two different gals. and since its first line tat means u had a "relationship" with the first but not the second and u are pissed off why the second had a relationship with another guy and not u . anyway common sense dictates that no one will ever tell their partners that they had sex with another person i mean its plainly stupid to admit betrayal unless ur gal is stupid.
u look like a regular please seek counselling from the proper parties or have a private talk with your gal - makes me wonder how come u didnt pay enough attention to ur gal and u din even know about her frens?
or are u the married man who is trying to repair his reputation ? i mean its easy for pple to type anything they want to type and they can just make the whole thing look like they are the victims when they are the real culprits.
beware of such dubious mud slinging! i would be sad for the gal if she is really innocent lah cos she dont really deserve this kind of bad publicity if she din really do anything wrong
really i am more keen to blame "thickskinned" than the gal cos its always the mans fault even if he dont admit it cos men tend to think they are always entitled to their "privilege" and no questions asked to be respectable. unless they really wanted to lead an honest life.
oh well i hope pple can tell a real situation from a fake one . if they cant because they dont have enough experience then its ok - cos i am a detective , i take down peoples verbal story telling and test them against the evidence.
good luck guys i am really sad for u pple to hang out in such a forum and everyone is deluded and they still think they are using logic
i think its more of a market reaction.
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Dear "thickskinned"
its quite amusing reading ur fake entry on sg forums. its quite obvious to me that u are trying to make the gal look bad instead of urself.
a lot of inconsistencies
1. auditors dont take master programs , they dont need to and they are already professionally qualified and registered with accounting bodies
2. your words betray ur thoughts.."can never forgive her but i cannot stand her sms every single day and everytime i read it i can concentrate. <?>
"i have a gf for 3 yrs, we never had any sexual r/s." understandable if its a normal posting but being first line means its dubious especially sg forums is well known to be a gossipy forum for the average who discuss market place read savvy thinking dun believe me - look at the titles of all the different boards like SAF, mobile phones etc etc would an auditor hang here rather than in any other business forums? it makes me wonder if the first line and the second line are two different gals. and since its first line tat means u had a "relationship" with the first but not the second and u are pissed off why the second had a relationship with another guy and not u . anyway common sense dictates that no one will ever tell their partners that they had sex with another person i mean its plainly stupid to admit betrayal unless ur gal is stupid.
u look like a regular please seek counselling from the proper parties or have a private talk with your gal - makes me wonder how come u didnt pay enough attention to ur gal and u din even know about her frens?
or are u the married man who is trying to repair his reputation ? i mean its easy for pple to type anything they want to type and they can just make the whole thing look like they are the victims when they are the real culprits.
beware of such dubious mud slinging! i would be sad for the gal if she is really innocent lah cos she dont really deserve this kind of bad publicity if she din really do anything wrong
really i am more keen to blame "thickskinned" than the gal cos its always the mans fault even if he dont admit it cos men tend to think they are always entitled to their "privilege" and no questions asked to be respectable. unless they really wanted to lead an honest life.
oh well i hope pple can tell a real situation from a fake one . if they cant because they dont have enough experience then its ok - cos i am a detective , i take down peoples verbal story telling and test them against the evidence.
good luck guys i am really sad for u pple to hang out in such a forum and everyone is deluded and they still think they are using logic
i think its more of a market reaction.
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oh i forgot to add
maybe the gal thinks u dont really love her enough i mean after 3 yrs still no progress so she decided to follow her heart and start another relationship . its quite common ok. BGR only can last how long unless its moving to the committed stage i mean i heard of pple going on marathon love like some 10 yrs before they tied the knot but tat is kinda extreme , normally any relationship will move from anything less than one yr - just surface fancy , 1 - 3 yrs fun , 3 - 5 yrs commitment / marriage. if ur relationship is not moving at all then u cant really blame the gal for being common sense about love as gals as far as i know them , they do place an importance on love like work its different from guys who dont really see it this way its more of like and attraction.
hope this solves ur problem bud.
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you've got my vote here.....silence her and concentrate on your studies first....talk can come later.......
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end it.
let the loss of you be her lesson that in the future she should not be so unfaithful.
And you certainly deserve a girl who is faithful to you.
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Originally posted by Alexander 88:
oh i forgot to add
maybe the gal thinks u dont really love her enough i mean after 3 yrs still no progress so she decided to follow her heart and start another relationship . its quite common ok. BGR only can last how long unless its moving to the committed stage i mean i heard of pple going on marathon love like some 10 yrs before they tied the knot but tat is kinda extreme , normally any relationship will move from anything less than one yr - just surface fancy , 1 - 3 yrs fun , 3 - 5 yrs commitment / marriage. if ur relationship is not moving at all then u cant really blame the gal for being common sense about love as gals as far as i know them , they do place an importance on love like work its different from guys who dont really see it this way its more of like and attraction.
hope this solves ur problem bud.
somehow i agree to this forumer also. Different pple have different perspectives of relationships. Some pple think everyday stick to you and sms you is a showing of concern for love while some pple thinks that being independent is a more important aspect of a relationship. -
Please dun act as a smart alec Mr Alexandra 88, are u an auditor? I am only an auditor for 1yr before that i am an accountant with a firm.
I have a CPA and i never said i am taking a masters in audit. To be frank i only know i have to take degree and CPA, i am taking a masters in finance in SIM, my degree in accountancy is from Uni of manchester which i go UK and did it. To sum it out i am just a half shit auditor who had no interests in accounting thats why i switch to study other fields. Maybe u are an auditor or other things but i dun the need of u teaching me about singapore accountant flowchart as my job scope is to do wat my senior said not more not less.
The "can never forgive her but i cannot stand her sms every single day and everytime i read it i can concentrate" is a typo error which i realise it just now. The "can" should be "cannot" i do not know how to edit, i apologise for that.
I never intend to pour out my woes in forum but last nite i get so heart pain, i just wan to do something ridiculous. This is aunt agony forum not a detective forum for you to examine every typo i made and every suspicious things i did. If you dun like wat i write or dun believe then pls kindly take me for a crack. If you are not a kind aunt agony then please dun be act as a smart detective.
I never said i was perfect, i did neglect her, thats why i am suffering from the consequences, we all reap what we sow. I am just telling my story.
I do not want to start a flame war, i just come in to do something to get it out of my system, i never expect to find a sherlock holmes who is definitely unqualified to be a detective here.
Bottom line is i come here to do something that will not make my thoughts wander and not start a flame war. If you want to continue digging my other suspicious stuff, i think you either had too much time or you smoke too much cocaine.
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Originally posted by Alexander 88:
Dear "thickskinned"
its quite amusing reading ur fake entry on sg forums. its quite obvious to me that u are trying to make the gal look bad instead of urself.
a lot of inconsistencies
1. auditors dont take master programs , they dont need to and they are already professionally qualified and registered with accounting bodies
2. your words betray ur thoughts.."can never forgive her but i cannot stand her sms every single day and everytime i read it i can concentrate. <?>
"i have a gf for 3 yrs, we never had any sexual r/s." understandable if its a normal posting but being first line means its dubious especially sg forums is well known to be a gossipy forum for the average who discuss market place read savvy thinking dun believe me - look at the titles of all the different boards like SAF, mobile phones etc etc would an auditor hang here rather than in any other business forums? it makes me wonder if the first line and the second line are two different gals. and since its first line tat means u had a "relationship" with the first but not the second and u are pissed off why the second had a relationship with another guy and not u . anyway common sense dictates that no one will ever tell their partners that they had sex with another person i mean its plainly stupid to admit betrayal unless ur gal is stupid.
u look like a regular please seek counselling from the proper parties or have a private talk with your gal - makes me wonder how come u didnt pay enough attention to ur gal and u din even know about her frens?
or are u the married man who is trying to repair his reputation ? i mean its easy for pple to type anything they want to type and they can just make the whole thing look like they are the victims when they are the real culprits.
beware of such dubious mud slinging! i would be sad for the gal if she is really innocent lah cos she dont really deserve this kind of bad publicity if she din really do anything wrong
really i am more keen to blame "thickskinned" than the gal cos its always the mans fault even if he dont admit it cos men tend to think they are always entitled to their "privilege" and no questions asked to be respectable. unless they really wanted to lead an honest life.
oh well i hope pple can tell a real situation from a fake one . if they cant because they dont have enough experience then its ok - cos i am a detective , i take down peoples verbal story telling and test them against the evidence.
good luck guys i am really sad for u pple to hang out in such a forum and everyone is deluded and they still think they are using logic
i think its more of a market reaction.
And i detect bullshit. They call me the B.S Detector .
So big shot hot shot professionals cannot hang in Sgforums ? So erm.. what u doing here ? Compelled to bring light to this issue has forced ur hand to register n post ? lol
I tot detectives have great control n hardly reveal themselves, not to mention, do not say and implicate matters that are 100% and sure when they themselves are not ? Isnt this more of a psycho interrogation method used by anyone who wants to squeeze info anyway they can.
But anyways, why must always be man's fault ? Ur experience as a 'detective' wouldve put u in a multitude of situations n circumstances, sure u know that is not true. What happened to benefit of the doubt ? Innocent until proven guilty ? Unless u are the case man assigned to this investigation and u put ur reputation at stake for the statement u made because of ur diligent investigation.
lol.. but i like some of the probabilities u said, logically no.. but probably yes.
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I don't know what to say, lucky i am on mc today and yes i buy the mc. Everytime i log in to the net i tell myself i wont visit the topic i write but somehow i fail to.
This is aunt agony forum, to me it is the forum where a person can expose his weakness, his mood and his fear. Since when have this forum become the forum of doubts where a guy who suffered the embarrasment of being make a cuckoo have to examine every typo and every thing he had said to prevent from accusing a crock or just merely trying to make him a victim.
I never said i was the victim i did neglect her, so please stop saying nasty things. I am just trying to find a way to vent my anger, for the past one month i been running everyday so that i can go sleep easily as i feel so tired after the run. The reason why i do not run now is my exams are coming i just do not want to tired myself.
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'Where is your heart?'
This is the sum of your discontent and confusion. Whenever one is confused or lost, there is only one thing to do - PRIORISTISE.
Determine what is more important to you right now - gf or exam. Once decided, come hell or high water, let it not affect you or suffer pangs of regret.
Shut off your mind, close down, shutter the doors and lock down the gates in your brain to other distractions. Become one track mind and do what is important.There are times one cannot have the best of both worlds, for we are only mortals.
As for the relationship issue, should you choose her instead of exams, it would be noble of you, for she is a human life and more precious than any exams which can always re-sit again. Money we can make anytime, but once a life is lost, it is gone forever.
It is most unfortunate that you did not have a serious and mature talk with her when you embark on your exams, and thus, in presumptions that she will understand, you had neglected her. In her loneliness, she succumbed to the charms of other men.
Loneliness is a painful experience, is real and not many people can handle it. More so when one is in a serious relationship.
Thus, can you blame and fault her? We are all only human and flawed, but important is that we know where our mistake lay, confess and do not do it again. But still, it is up to you to forgive her in your presumption that you are the defaulted party.
I would only remind you that love is more than skin deep. What you are going thru now is only hurt, and if your love for her is strong, believe me, in time within months, you will not mind so long as she promises never to do such a thing again. You may regret when you let her go now. Think again.
Her heart is your aim, not her private part, but if it is private part you seek, go buy a sex toy please. She is human, a precious life, a warm companion to share the lonely journey of life together.
If you still want the best of both world, then you will have to assure her, or get a third party she and you trusts to help her tide over her pain of being cheated while you focus on your exams. On one hand, it will stop her from thinking up crazy destructive schemes and the other, you will have peace of mind to focus on your priority till your exams are over.
Good luck, and may you achieve peace and happiness whichever priority you choose. You can, and are, only responsible for your life which you alone lives, no one else can.
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It depends on what do you want in the end.
It is true that everyone is flawed in some ways. No one is perfect.
The question is "Are you able to live with that kind of flawed ?"
Well... you have exams to buy you time to think about it. Temporary cease contact with her. Let these time to calm yourself down. By the way, your case remind me of my 9yr ex gf break up with me on the day before my exam.
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Forgive her if she is really sorry.
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it's not easy to just forgive her like this
it takes time
all e best dude -
Haa, you all stop trying to find loopholes in his sentences and see what's contradicting within them leh.
Anyway TS, from my view, everyone makes mistakes once. Yes, agree that her mistake is pretty grave, but if you were to put yourself in her shoes, she could be feeling extremely terrible and depress because she knew she have already hurt you and the worse of all, is unable to reverse all her actions. What's done is done.
Learn to forgive and forget.
Saying is easy, but when you really do it, after a period, you'll actually find yourself more peaceful. I believe she does have some credits to maintain this relationship back.
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hi there
i didnt want to really hang out at sg forums as u can see its my first few posting as i always thought sg forums are for kids.
but your post happened to be the first one on the forum so i m here,, and i started reading so i decided to do some analysis so simple and then i realised its a tale.
because all your facts dont match. if u went to a good UK university , would ur english be so poor until u have typos? most sg pple wont even have any typos in their work because english is so natural to them already. and SIM dont have a master in finance only tax. since i am a bit free now due to a meeting being cancelled then i can slowly guess what happened.
i guess that the gal is the one who is an auditor and taking master course because only gals are auditors because of the soft skills needed to do the job and hardworking enough to take additional certs and u are the one who is sleeping around and then after discovering that she is about to dump u , which is a hit to your ego , u tried to discredit her first by saying she is loose and be a good man in this respect.
if she went with a married guy then she must be really courageous for love or plain silly to sacrifice her name for nothing.
anyway if u really love your gal , greater love is to consider and or even accept as i know of a brother who did tat. but its quite telling that u cant even stand receiving sms from her every day which means there is no proper communication and u dont enjoy talking to her and not even spending time with her then wat kind of a relationship are u expecting . the unfaithfulness issue being so important means u are looking more to a physical relationship tats all which is not to be blamed but its just immature.
and anyway if u are so stressed over her which means u actually loved her then u should seek psychological counselling to examine ur wandering thoughts. i am a guy and i know what that means. i got a strong brain and strong body to resist temptations but i guess UK had taught pple bad - cocaine ? no one smokes cocaine in sg. only UK.
ok stop dissing a fellow man who is weak i should be aunt agony now ok cut off the relationship for u have no time and u dont enjoy communicating with your gal then how to get close plus u have some psychological problem as mentioned from your earlier post of some suspicous stuff
anyway with ur kind of ungracious lower level thinking which is very clear from your attitudes and speech which thinks that only they are holy and others are not holy which dont really demonstrate the better ideals in life
oh i saw many case of adultery that is almost all the time due to the men straying or having affairs because its just normal so i naturally jumped to the guy first even when i am a guy. only guys will see sex as important and sex in a woman is condemnation if its not with him. sad to know of this kind of dark thinking still exist. cant be helped loh
unfaithful men are common but unfaithful women are not exactly common as most women tend to value marriage unless they belong to the super extroverted types
so i guess its a men issue here sad to say bud u are in the wrong and its even more wrong not to admit and instead blame a woman for your mistake like no communication and no time which indicate no love loh then why are u with the gal ?
i was just unlucky to be born with many elder sisters so i do respect women a fair bit , they are not just objects of play but really people whom u can spend time with and share a life with. too bad u got youur priorities wrong
thick skinned from ur nick i already knew u are a damm good liar, only a liar can lie like anything if they are thick skinned.
pity the gal.
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Originally posted by Alexander 88:
hi there
i didnt want to really hang out at sg forums as u can see its my first few posting as i always thought sg forums are for kids.
but your post happened to be the first one on the forum so i m here,, and i started reading so i decided to do some analysis so simple and then i realised its a tale.
because all your facts dont match. if u went to a good UK university , would ur english be so poor until u have typos? most sg pple wont even have any typos in their work because english is so natural to them already. and SIM dont have a master in finance only tax. since i am a bit free now due to a meeting being cancelled then i can slowly guess what happened.
i guess that the gal is the one who is an auditor and taking master course because only gals are auditors because of the soft skills needed to do the job and hardworking enough to take additional certs and u are the one who is sleeping around and then after discovering that she is about to dump u , which is a hit to your ego , u tried to discredit her first by saying she is loose and be a good man in this respect.
if she went with a married guy then she must be really courageous for love or plain silly to sacrifice her name for nothing.
anyway if u really love your gal , greater love is to consider and or even accept as i know of a brother who did tat. but its quite telling that u cant even stand receiving sms from her every day which means there is no proper communication and u dont enjoy talking to her and not even spending time with her then wat kind of a relationship are u expecting . the unfaithfulness issue being so important means u are looking more to a physical relationship tats all which is not to be blamed but its just immature.
and anyway if u are so stressed over her which means u actually loved her then u should seek psychological counselling to examine ur wandering thoughts. i am a guy and i know what that means. i got a strong brain and strong body to resist temptations but i guess UK had taught pple bad - cocaine ? no one smokes cocaine in sg. only UK.
ok stop dissing a fellow man who is weak i should be aunt agony now ok cut off the relationship for u have no time and u dont enjoy communicating with your gal then how to get close plus u have some psychological problem as mentioned from your earlier post of some suspicous stuff
anyway with ur kind of ungracious lower level thinking which is very clear from your attitudes and speech which thinks that only they are holy and others are not holy which dont really demonstrate the better ideals in life
oh i saw many case of adultery that is almost all the time due to the men straying or having affairs because its just normal so i naturally jumped to the guy first even when i am a guy. only guys will see sex as important and sex in a woman is condemnation if its not with him. sad to know of this kind of dark thinking still exist. cant be helped loh
unfaithful men are common but unfaithful women are not exactly common as most women tend to value marriage unless they belong to the super extroverted types
so i guess its a men issue here sad to say bud u are in the wrong and its even more wrong not to admit and instead blame a woman for your mistake like no communication and no time which indicate no love loh then why are u with the gal ?
i was just unlucky to be born with many elder sisters so i do respect women a fair bit , they are not just objects of play but really people whom u can spend time with and share a life with. too bad u got youur priorities wrong
thick skinned from ur nick i already knew u are a damm good liar, only a liar can lie like anything if they are thick skinned.
pity the gal.
wat is yr issue ?Are u in agony or Ts is in agony ?
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Originally posted by Alexander 88:
oh i saw many case of adultery that is almost all the time due to the men straying or having affairs because its just normal so i naturally jumped to the guy first even when i am a guy. only guys will see sex as important and sex in a woman is condemnation if its not with him. sad to know of this kind of dark thinking still exist. cant be helped loh
unfaithful men are common but unfaithful women are not exactly common as most women tend to value marriage unless they belong to the super extroverted types
Unfaithful men are common but unfaithful women are not exactly common?
So you saying there are no unfaithful women is it? If not, then why can't this case be one of those few. On SGForums, as a new person, you can to give posters the benefit of the doubt.
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Originally posted by Alexander 88:
i didnt want to really hang out at sg forums as u can see its my first few posting as i always thought sg forums are for kids.
If so, you have a mentality that is worst than a kid.
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Originally posted by Alexander 88:
but your post happened to be the first one on the forum so i m here,, and i started reading so i decided to do some analysis so simple and then i realised its a tale.
If his "story" is a tale your life is a joke.
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Originally posted by Alexander 88:
and SIM dont have a master in finance only tax. since i am a bit free now due to a meeting being cancelled then i can slowly guess what happened.
They do fool... Check your facts out before posting and making a mockery of yourself.
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Originally posted by Alexander 88:
because all your facts dont match. if u went to a good UK university , would ur english be so poor until u have typos? most sg pple wont even have any typos in their work because english is so natural to them already. and SIM dont have a master in finance only tax. since i am a bit free now due to a meeting being cancelled then i can slowly guess what happened.
Regardless of whether a person is in Uni, JC, sec, pri school, typos are common so do not generalise and say that a student from anywhere is not allowed to have typos at all in whatever they type. We might know what we want to say but there are often times where we make mistakes while typing and do not realise them unless you are so free to keep rechecking word for word to ensure each posting is perfect before saving then i'll just have to say noone is that free on this forum.