Shd I make my move?
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just ask lah..
it looks like u need a dose of courage..
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Originally posted by student 17:
Ok, so now if ask her out, how many days in advance should I ask? (She is quite busy) And ask via sms/msn/call?
wah lau eh.. how come u ask the same qns again?
she maybe hinting to u to ask her out, "talk to u soon!" Just ask her when will she be free and say that u wanna meet her for lunch or w/e, that simple. its not like its only ur first or second time talking to her anyway.
Ask her on msn.
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If it were me I'd prefer to ask face-to-face.. but it seems that you have not gathered enough courage to do that? Cuz your option does not have 'ask via face-2-face'.
Call. <<<< call lor.
MSN.
SMS.
I dont really like SMS cuz that person might forget about it.
Face-2-face best.
Next is call.
Of course if she liked you enough, any method will be effective.
Where are you taking her to, most impt? Are you going to ask us too?
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Originally posted by student 17:
Hey ppl, need some advice on whether I shd enter into a relationship.
Just to clarify, I am 22 this year, in a local uni.
I got to know this girl in January. She is in one of my weekly classes but we take different but equally demanding courses. We are groupmates.
Some basic facts/problems:
1) She is most likely single( her facebook profile) and from conversations with her and her frens, there is nothing to suggest that she is attached. And we shd proceed on the assumption that she is not.
2) I noticed that in many one on one photos that she took with guys, the guy had his hand on her shoulder. However, the problem is that the guy in the photos are always different. In other words, perhaps(fortunately) she does not have a superb close relationship with any guy yet.
3) She has many frens(both guys and gals), both within and outside sch. I noticed that sometimes one or two guys tend to tease her by pulling her hair when they spring from behind. She did not seem to object.
4) Currently, on a scale of 0-10(0 being total strangers and 10 being the best of friends), I would rate the level of closeness between us as 7. During exam period, I do join her for study sessions with her group of frens (both guys and gals included). I even had the opportunity to have lunch with her on a couple of occasions. We talk about almost everything, but mainly sch work, mutual frens and family.
5) We do not really exchange smses on a daily basis. But I try to sms her occasionally iust to keep in touch. But sometimes I noticed she may not reply my smses( I do not ask qns that intrude on her privacy though).
6) I am not aware of any competitors as of yet. But this might be due to the fact that I do not spend enough time with her to know who is always with her (different courses, timetables and schedules). Recently though, when I chanced upon her in sch, she mentioned that she was on her way to meet a male fren(for reasons unknown). She even told me who that guy was but perhaps that was because I also know that guy although not very close.
7) Recently, i faced some pressing personal issues. I called her to talk to her and she did say that I can call her anytime to talk about them. But I am quite sure that because of her very nice character, she would have told any other relatively good guy fren the same if they were faced with similar problems.
8) As mentioned before, both of us are quite busy students but I will definitely find some time for her if I do commit to this relationship.
9) I have not been in any previous relationships before and I think the same can be said of her( facebook and Friendster testimonials/comments). The reason why I am attracted to her is because I think she is quite attractive but most importantly she has the qualities that I would like in a potential gf/spouse.
So now, I am hesitant about going all out to go after her. This is due to the fact that I am not very comfortable with points 2 and 3. But then again, could I be too old-fashioned and conservative? Does points 2 and 3 mean anything? Or just the guys trying to get fresh? On a side note, is it a trend for guys to do that(teasing and placing arms on shoulder) in a 1 on 1 photo, even when the girl is not their gf ? And would most girls just consent to such actions?
I would appreciate any sensible and well-intentioned advice on whether I should make my move. Thanks in advance!!
Actually she doesn't mind guys pulling her hair right now because she's still young.Ask those guys to pull her hair when she's going to get married and see if she minds or not lor....
Maybe you will get four funerals and a wedding if there are four guys pulling her hair.
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Originally posted by Lorry`:
If it were me I'd prefer to ask face-to-face.. but it seems that you have not gathered enough courage to do that? Cuz your option does not have 'ask via face-2-face'.
Call. <<<< call lor.
MSN.
SMS.
I dont really like SMS cuz that person might forget about it.
Face-2-face best.
Next is call.
Of course if she liked you enough, any method will be effective.
Where are you taking her to, most impt? Are you going to ask us too?
I would have loved to ask her face to face too, bit unfortunately there is no opportunity for me to do so. As alluded earlier, I am still facing some personal issues, hence I will not be going to sch soon, on vacation now. So no chance to see her and ask her personally.
Well, where to go? Good question. Lol. Initially I thought I won't ask u all this question but since you mentioned, I would gladly welcome any good suggestions since my idea of a first date would be a movie followed by a meal? Which is rather boring I thought? But I mean that is the typical first date right? Then subsequently can do other stuff such as sports? Then when more comfortable then like walk in the park/beach? Any one can offer a better suggestion for a first date?
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Originally posted by student 17:
Hey ppl, need some advice on whether I shd enter into a relationship.
Just to clarify, I am 22 this year, in a local uni.
I got to know this girl in January. She is in one of my weekly classes but we take different but equally demanding courses. We are groupmates.
Some basic facts/problems:
1) She is most likely single( her facebook profile) and from conversations with her and her frens, there is nothing to suggest that she is attached. And we shd proceed on the assumption that she is not.
2) I noticed that in many one on one photos that she took with guys, the guy had his hand on her shoulder. However, the problem is that the guy in the photos are always different. In other words, perhaps(fortunately) she does not have a superb close relationship with any guy yet.
3) She has many frens(both guys and gals), both within and outside sch. I noticed that sometimes one or two guys tend to tease her by pulling her hair when they spring from behind. She did not seem to object.
4) Currently, on a scale of 0-10(0 being total strangers and 10 being the best of friends), I would rate the level of closeness between us as 7. During exam period, I do join her for study sessions with her group of frens (both guys and gals included). I even had the opportunity to have lunch with her on a couple of occasions. We talk about almost everything, but mainly sch work, mutual frens and family.
5) We do not really exchange smses on a daily basis. But I try to sms her occasionally iust to keep in touch. But sometimes I noticed she may not reply my smses( I do not ask qns that intrude on her privacy though).
6) I am not aware of any competitors as of yet. But this might be due to the fact that I do not spend enough time with her to know who is always with her (different courses, timetables and schedules). Recently though, when I chanced upon her in sch, she mentioned that she was on her way to meet a male fren(for reasons unknown). She even told me who that guy was but perhaps that was because I also know that guy although not very close.
7) Recently, i faced some pressing personal issues. I called her to talk to her and she did say that I can call her anytime to talk about them. But I am quite sure that because of her very nice character, she would have told any other relatively good guy fren the same if they were faced with similar problems.
8) As mentioned before, both of us are quite busy students but I will definitely find some time for her if I do commit to this relationship.
9) I have not been in any previous relationships before and I think the same can be said of her( facebook and Friendster testimonials/comments). The reason why I am attracted to her is because I think she is quite attractive but most importantly she has the qualities that I would like in a potential gf/spouse.
So now, I am hesitant about going all out to go after her. This is due to the fact that I am not very comfortable with points 2 and 3. But then again, could I be too old-fashioned and conservative? Does points 2 and 3 mean anything? Or just the guys trying to get fresh? On a side note, is it a trend for guys to do that(teasing and placing arms on shoulder) in a 1 on 1 photo, even when the girl is not their gf ? And would most girls just consent to such actions?
I would appreciate any sensible and well-intentioned advice on whether I should make my move. Thanks in advance!!
5) We do not really exchange smses on a daily basis. But I try to sms her occasionally iust to keep in touch. But sometimes I noticed she may not reply my smses( I do not ask qns that intrude on her privacy though).
wa same as me aw i only ask her about school work than she reply the rest she nv reply... i think she know i love her alot lor ... ... i think so ....
so i think better not first cause she maybe don't like u ? she juz wanted to study? -
lol depends if she even wants you or not~
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haha, from reading TS replies, i get a feeling that TS is a very rigid person, who wants to get many guidelines, up to the point of asking ' how many days in advance.... , can tell that you are most likely someone without much experiences
Actually, i need to ask you one question, how confident are you regarding getting her? How do you rate your own chances?
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Youngsters should just study, love is a complicated affair.
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fkin hell
just get on with life
will die?
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Originally posted by student 17:
I would have loved to ask her face to face too, bit unfortunately there is no opportunity for me to do so. As alluded earlier, I am still facing some personal issues, hence I will not be going to sch soon, on vacation now. So no chance to see her and ask her personally.
Well, where to go? Good question. Lol. Initially I thought I won't ask u all this question but since you mentioned, I would gladly welcome any good suggestions since my idea of a first date would be a movie followed by a meal? Which is rather boring I thought? But I mean that is the typical first date right? Then subsequently can do other stuff such as sports? Then when more comfortable then like walk in the park/beach? Any one can offer a better suggestion for a first date?
Hmm.. since it's personal, i shall not question further. If thats the case, how bout a call?
1. Can get to listen to her voice.
2. Get more confirmation.
3. All in all, I still think it's better than asking over msn or through sms lor.
SMS - good for shy people, just type type type will do, but then she might miss it (as in replying), or dilly-dally in replying, etc.
MSN - good if you want instant replies, but then she might be talking to other people at the same time too and might not be thinking much about your invitation (thats what i think), like paying much attention. And as far as i could rem, shes prob a very friendly and open girl, so i guess she must have many chatting partners at the same time too, and not just to you alone. So many ple to entertain.
Phone - good as in, she pays attention to you more (if she isnt doing anything at that point of time la.. and is free from everything) .... and also, you can get to talk to her about other stuffs, not just regarding the invitation only.
Where to go? haha. It is an impt thing to think of and plan thats why i mention it.
Since you said it is a 'typical date', why must follow the flow leh? Cuz it is more 'safe'?Why not think of something more interesting? I think movie + dinner is very typical (
),
i dont really like this idea because when you 2 are in the theater, there isnt much communication (cant talk much ma), then after the movie, around 2 hours has flown off. But then thats just me, so i hardly got do movie+dinner date. Maybe you can find out more if shes a movie kind of person.Anyway, decide if it's a full day date (lunch, dinner included) or dinner and onwards first.
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Originally posted by gigabyte14:
fkin hell
just get on with life
will die?
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Originally posted by Q.C.Pak:
Youngsters should just study, love is a complicated affair.
he quite old liao.... 22 leh.
Oh yah. And you speak like as if you are.... er. 49?
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Originally posted by Lorry`:
Hmm.. since it's personal, i shall not question further. If thats the case, how bout a call?
1. Can get to listen to her voice.
2. Get more confirmation.
3. All in all, I still think it's better than asking over msn or through sms lor.
SMS - good for shy people, just type type type will do, but then she might miss it (as in replying), or dilly-dally in replying, etc.
MSN - good if you want instant replies, but then she might be talking to other people at the same time too and might not be thinking much about your invitation (thats what i think), like paying much attention. And as far as i could rem, shes prob a very friendly and open girl, so i guess she must have many chatting partners at the same time too, and not just to you alone. So many ple to entertain.
Phone - good as in, she pays attention to you more (if she isnt doing anything at that point of time la.. and is free from everything) .... and also, you can get to talk to her about other stuffs, not just regarding the invitation only.
Where to go? haha. It is an impt thing to think of and plan thats why i mention it.
Since you said it is a 'typical date', why must follow the flow leh? Cuz it is more 'safe'?Why not think of something more interesting? I think movie + dinner is very typical (
),
i dont really like this idea because when you 2 are in the theater, there isnt much communication (cant talk much ma), then after the movie, around 2 hours has flown off. But then thats just me, so i hardly got do movie+dinner date. Maybe you can find out more if shes a movie kind of person.Anyway, decide if it's a full day date (lunch, dinner included) or dinner and onwards first.
so what's your "typical date" like?
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if 1st date... always go for coffee meet up....
why? coz a dinner date is too long if u are not into the party aft like 15min into it.... imagine having to sit thru 1-2hrs with someone u wanna get away from.
coffee meeting is kinda just rite... not too short, just long enough to know one another. And if thing turn out well, can always move on to something else, like a stroll, movies or anything after the coffee.
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agree going for movie ( not much communication ).
Try to find out her interests and work on it. ( Really will help you in long run ).
PS: Be a man do the right thing.
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Holding a book is not reading it, only when it is being read - its real, the same goes for thinking about life, that is not living, the real thing is when u are living whatever resonates of u now - as long as it does not encroach on another's freedom to be.
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Originally posted by pinkstrawberries:
haha, from reading TS replies, i get a feeling that TS is a very rigid person, who wants to get many guidelines, up to the point of asking ' how many days in advance.... , can tell that you are most likely someone without much experiences
Actually, i need to ask you one question, how confident are you regarding getting her? How do you rate your own chances?
Yah, as I mentioned in my first thread, I have not been in a relationship before. First time I am trying to date a girl, so inevitably will have almost no experiences. Haha, so really need some suggestions from all those who are experienced.
Well, I am actually not very confident. Somehow I think although she definitely does not dislike me, I very much doubt she has a liking for me as well. Although I think now she probably suspects that I am interested. But so far she has not really given me any obvious indication/hint whether the feeling is mutual. Maybe a conservative estimate of my own chances are like 50%?
Thanks to Lorry', Earlneo and Man that can't be moved for your suggestions. Actually I tried calling a few times but there was no answer. I also discovered that she is very active, the type of girl who does not mind the sun. So means I should like ask her to go for sports activities?
Fugazzi, can you kindly elaborate on what you mean?
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no try no gain
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simple eg, u are having a plate of chicken rice in a coffee shop A NOW, u are thinking of the chicken rice that tasted so good in coffeeshop B that u had a few days ago(the past), or comparing or yearning for char kuay teow on another plate nearby to ur seat and wondering if it will taste better(looking into the future), Now the chicken rice in front of u - though its being consumed lacks taste, lacks .... its an expereince that is adulterated by the past/future lar.
translate this simple eg and apply it to all areas of ur life, eg, when u climb a mountain, one small mistake, n u die - do u think a mt climber who is at it - allows his thoughts to fleet here and there, he is there having a peak expereince .... u can expereince the gal or ... rt in front of u as she is, but u can only do that if u are present to the situation or present to yourself lar! if all these is too 'chim' let go and ignore
Considering your youth, enjoy the folly, be fallible, make mistakes, all kinds, risk and live, that is part of growing up, when u are all quiet and all alone and no one is watching u - what goes thru u - that is what u want to do or be, risk it, live it, as for those who belittle u - let them be, if not u are probably going to waver and try, and try and ...
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ask her out?
wa lau, too fastt already lah not a good idea
u both not even good friend yet
only classmate that are seeing each other once a week.
dont believe u try loh sure kana shoot down one
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Originally posted by BotaHead:
ask her out?
wa lau, too fastt already lah not a good idea
u both not even good friend yet
only classmate that are seeing each other once a week.
dont believe u try loh sure kana shoot down one
Hi, BotaHead, I appreciate your well-intentioned caveat. But I think you may not have read my first thread thoroughly enough? While we may not be good friends yet, we are definitely more than just hi-bye friends. Perhaps somewhere close to good friends stage?Anyway, I did try asking her out for a movie when i called her just now and she agreed in principle(details not finalised yet), but i think it is a good start. Will call her next week to confirm details. Really hope she would not have any last minute stuff.
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Originally posted by student 17:
Hi, BotaHead, I appreciate your well-intentioned caveat. But I think you may not have read my first thread thoroughly enough? While we may not be good friends yet, we are definitely more than just hi-bye friends. Perhaps somewhere close to good friends stage?Anyway, I did try asking her out for a movie when i called her just now and she agreed in principle(details not finalised yet), but i think it is a good start. Will call her next week to confirm details. Really hope she would not have any last minute stuff.
u finially ask her out already?
wow.. that is cool. anyway all the best to u then.
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Originally posted by student 17:
Hi, BotaHead, I appreciate your well-intentioned caveat. But I think you may not have read my first thread thoroughly enough? While we may not be good friends yet, we are definitely more than just hi-bye friends. Perhaps somewhere close to good friends stage?Anyway, I did try asking her out for a movie when i called her just now and she agreed in principle(details not finalised yet), but i think it is a good start. Will call her next week to confirm details. Really hope she would not have any last minute stuff.
got last min stuff then ask her out again lor
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Originally posted by Lorry`:
.........how bout a call?
1. Can get to listen to her voice.
2. Get more confirmation.
3. All in all, I still think it's better than asking over msn or through sms lor.
SMS - good for shy people, just type type type will do, but then she might miss it (as in replying), or dilly-dally in replying, etc.
MSN - good if you want instant replies, but then she might be talking to other people at the same time too and might not be thinking much about your invitation (thats what i think), like paying much attention. And as far as i could rem, shes prob a very friendly and open girl, so i guess she must have many chatting partners at the same time too, and not just to you alone. So many ple to entertain.
Phone - good as in, she pays attention to you more (if she isnt doing anything at that point of time la.. and is free from everything) .... and also, you can get to talk to her about other stuffs, not just regarding the invitation only.
Well, as already mentioned, she has agreed in principle to a date. But for the follow-up to confirm details, should I still call or sms will do since she has already agreed? Cos my sis cautioned that calling someone may actually put a lot of pressure on that person, esp if she is busy, thus annoying that person.
Furtheremore, I thought a call would be weird. clos if i call and straight away ask " remember that we have a movie date" etc, isn't it like very abrupt? How do I avoid this? By asking how have she been the past few days and other random stuff and then towards the end remind her about the date?