Can you really forget the PAST ?
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Ok here`s the problem . i`ve been with this girl friend of mine for about 3 months now. And everything hasnt been smooth sailing for us cause whenever her period comes she gets very emotional . And we had broken up 2 times in the past 3 months . i`m kina asking for help cause i`m really serious with her and i`m at a loss for wat to do .
She was once a very easy gal who sleeps around with guys . she has more then 30 flings in the past . And she`s only 21 . This number is really alarming to me. And i`ve been thinking a lot recently. She has told me that she would change and not go back to her old ways . There once i asked her under wat situation would she ever go back to her old ways. she told me that if i were to break up with her and that she couldnt find another guy as her bf long enough then she`ll go back to her old ways . sleeping around with different guy. i find her reply very odd. It`s like she still has this thinking of going back to her old ways .
Plus she really likes cash. Maybe cause she`s supporting herself. But she dont mind spending money when she`s with me . But i`ll always pay as she`s supporting herself.
So my question is if you were in such a situation will u or rather can u really forget her past and move on with her into maybe marriage ? People with similar experience pls share it out and also how did u deal with it .
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hmm before u consider being in a relationship with her, chk for STD.
the question is, are you able to overlook her past, and also is she sincerely going to stop doing what she did in the past? we are all creatures of habits, if she has done it before, she can easily go back to her old ways. and if she does go back to her old ways, are you able to forgive her?
if you can't, then best not to go into the relationship.
imo, emo girls aren't good. shrugs
btw, the morning pills thing, how? nv got pregnant? is this the same girl u got lucky with?
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Originally posted by Karma88:
Ok here`s the problem . i`ve been with this girl friend of mine for about 3 months now. And everything hasnt been smooth sailing for us cause whenever her period comes she gets very emotional . And we had broken up 2 times in the past 3 months . i`m kina asking for help cause i`m really serious with her and i`m at a loss for wat to do .
She was once a very easy gal who sleeps around with guys . she has more then 30 flings in the past . And she`s only 21 . This number is really alarming to me. And i`ve been thinking a lot recently. She has told me that she would change and not go back to her old ways . There once i asked her under wat situation would she ever go back to her old ways. she told me that if i were to break up with her and that she couldnt find another guy as her bf long enough then she`ll go back to her old ways . sleeping around with different guy. i find her reply very odd. It`s like she still has this thinking of going back to her old ways .
Plus she really likes cash. Maybe cause she`s supporting herself. But she dont mind spending money when she`s with me . But i`ll always pay as she`s supporting herself.
So my question is if you were in such a situation will u or rather can u really forget her past and move on with her into maybe marriage ? People with similar experience pls share it out and also how did u deal with it .
wow...same situation as me sia..only for the first part that is..only difference is age and race -_-..
its been more than a month now and i still can't get over her..only gets deeper each day..in the process of trying to win her back T-T..
if you really love her, then you shouldn't care about her past although in your situation i can imagine how it can haunt you...
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The past has passed thats why its called the past. What's important is the present. Do you really feel great being with her currently, without the past kept popping in your head. Or you kept seeing her past and looks her in a different way whenever you sees her?
Then its the future. No one knows what the future holds. What will happen will happen, importantly is how you want to shape what's coming.
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Why on earth do you want to forget the past?
The past is history - and history have shown that people who don't learn from it - suffer the consequences.
The point of it is not to forget the past - but to accept and learn from it.
It is also used to evaluate where is she now in her mindset towards relationships, in her expectations of herself, in her attitude towards you.
Just because someone has a flaky past, doesn't mean they cannot learn from it and change for the better.
BUT if someone with a flaky past - doesn't SEE it as flaky, doesn't WANT to change - then I think it is the current situation you need to assess and the potential of growth.
Otherwise - I say - cut your losses and don't fall into the trap of investing more and more into a bottomless pit.
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Broke up 2 times in span of 3 months ?
30 flings ?
Is the juice worth the squuuueeeezeeee...
Well, someway or another its either u accept her past and live with it or u cant accept her past n u be on your way.
*thinks back* Unless u got the cash to burn, the sex is so great its beyond amazing, trapped in her claws of seduction,i suppose u can live with her past.
Thing is, will u give her the chance to change? Cause atm u dont know if she will hold on to her word. How long have u even dated the girl ? Too fast too furious ?
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're in so much trouble after three months and you're thinking marriage? What's the matter with you?
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
hmm before u consider being in a relationship with her, chk for STD.
the question is, are you able to overlook her past, and also is she sincerely going to stop doing what she did in the past? we are all creatures of habits, if she has done it before, she can easily go back to her old ways. and if she does go back to her old ways, are you able to forgive her?
if you can't, then best not to go into the relationship.
imo, emo girls aren't good. shrugs
btw, the morning pills thing, how? nv got pregnant? is this the same girl u got lucky with?
Wao someone actually remembers my post . Well in the end we didnt get the after morning and she didnt get pregnant .
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Well truth is i too had flings in the past . But not as much as her . And i`m also sick of going into relationship just for fun . So that`s why i wanna be serious this time round.
Cause last night we were talking on the phone and she was telling me about her flings and all . And it`s still bothering me up till now .Although she told me she`ll change, I dont know if she could really change for the better . I guess only time will tell . But on the other hand i dont wanna waste my time on a gal and find out in the end that she still will go back to her old ways . And plus sometimes i really dont trust her whenever she goes out with a friend . I`ll always think that they might do something wrong. And it also comes to my mind that she may do something wrong and not tell me about it .
Maybe i`m impatience. But any other normal guy wouldnt want to waste time on a girl who`s not serious right ?
If you guys were in my shoes wat will you do ? I`m really dont know wat i should do .
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Originally posted by Karma88:
Well truth is i too had flings in the past . But not as much as her . And i`m also sick of going into relationship just for fun . So that`s why i wanna be serious this time round.
Cause last night we were talking on the phone and she was telling me about her flings and all . And it`s still bothering me up till now .Although she told me she`ll change, I dont know if she could really change for the better . I guess only time will tell . But on the other hand i dont wanna waste my time on a gal and find out in the end that she still will go back to her old ways . And plus sometimes i really dont trust her whenever she goes out with a friend . I`ll always think that they might do something wrong. And it also comes to my mind that she may do something wrong and not tell me about it .
Maybe i`m impatience. But any other normal guy wouldnt want to waste time on a girl who`s not serious right ?
If you guys were in my shoes wat will you do ? I`m really dont know wat i should do .
I'll wait and see...3 months is too short to see much, dude.
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Yeah i could wait . But i`m still afraid that she would do something wrong and not tell me about it .
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cherish her. At least she is honest with you.
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But dont sleep with her hor. If you abandon her later, you will be no different from the 30 flings in her past.
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Yeah at least she`s honest with me . That really helped thanks.
Sad to say but we had sex b4 already. Yeah and one reason why i`m so confused as to wat to do is i dont wanna be an asshole anymore. Playing with girls and all . But still i`m afraid this time round i`m the one being played.
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Karma.
Better get slapped by karma now, then one big one later.
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Originally posted by Karma88:
Well truth is i too had flings in the past . But not as much as her . And i`m also sick of going into relationship just for fun . So that`s why i wanna be serious this time round.
Cause last night we were talking on the phone and she was telling me about her flings and all . And it`s still bothering me up till now .Although she told me she`ll change, I dont know if she could really change for the better . I guess only time will tell . But on the other hand i dont wanna waste my time on a gal and find out in the end that she still will go back to her old ways . And plus sometimes i really dont trust her whenever she goes out with a friend . I`ll always think that they might do something wrong. And it also comes to my mind that she may do something wrong and not tell me about it .
Maybe i`m impatience. But any other normal guy wouldnt want to waste time on a girl who`s not serious right ?
If you guys were in my shoes wat will you do ? I`m really dont know wat i should do .
of course i remember la. i was waiting for your answer. =)
personally i don't think this relationship is going anywhere.. you both started off with a ons, i find it hard to see that it will develop into something where it's beyond the physical pleasure aspect, and you both grow in character and in love with each other. you are feeling confused because your emotions are tied to the physical pleasure while you are with her, you even feel responsible and don't want to play her out or anything. so that itself compromises your actual feelings for her.
my vote is, not to go into the relationship. it will end badly in around 1-2 years. i've got a friend who is like you. And every 2 years tops, he breaks up with the girl because he gets bored after the honeymoon period, and finds some other girl a better choice etc..
but there are always exceptions to the rule, you might prove me wrong.
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loser 3 months only talk what shit? Its not like 3 years or 30 years? L O S E R
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Originally posted by Karma88:
Ok here`s the problem . i`ve been with this girl friend of mine for about 3 months now. And everything hasnt been smooth sailing for us cause whenever her period comes she gets very emotional . And we had broken up 2 times in the past 3 months . i`m kina asking for help cause i`m really serious with her and i`m at a loss for wat to do .
She was once a very easy gal who sleeps around with guys . she has more then 30 flings in the past . And she`s only 21 . This number is really alarming to me. And i`ve been thinking a lot recently. She has told me that she would change and not go back to her old ways . There once i asked her under wat situation would she ever go back to her old ways. she told me that if i were to break up with her and that she couldnt find another guy as her bf long enough then she`ll go back to her old ways . sleeping around with different guy. i find her reply very odd. It`s like she still has this thinking of going back to her old ways .
Plus she really likes cash. Maybe cause she`s supporting herself. But she dont mind spending money when she`s with me . But i`ll always pay as she`s supporting herself.
So my question is if you were in such a situation will u or rather can u really forget her past and move on with her into maybe marriage ? People with similar experience pls share it out and also how did u deal with it .
since it bothers u so much that her body was played by more than 30 guys already, just be a friend than a committed guy to her, thats all and simple as that.
if she goes back to her old days after u break up with her, then be a friend-counsellor showing guidance to her instead. -
Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
of course i remember la. i was waiting for your answer. =)
personally i don't think this relationship is going anywhere.. you both started off with a ons, i find it hard to see that it will develop into something where it's beyond the physical pleasure aspect, and you both grow in character and in love with each other. you are feeling confused because your emotions are tied to the physical pleasure while you are with her, you even feel responsible and don't want to play her out or anything. so that itself compromises your actual feelings for her.
my vote is, not to go into the relationship. it will end badly in around 1-2 years. i've got a friend who is like you. And every 2 years tops, he breaks up with the girl because he gets bored after the honeymoon period, and finds some other girl a better choice etc..
but there are always exceptions to the rule, you might prove me wrong.
hmm.. i think i`ll try to prove you wrong . Cause i`m really serious about it.
Thanks for the kind reply guys. i think i see the light . More time is needed .
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Originally posted by Karma88:
Ok here`s the problem . i`ve been with this girl friend of mine for about 3 months now. And everything hasnt been smooth sailing for us cause whenever her period comes she gets very emotional . And we had broken up 2 times in the past 3 months . i`m kina asking for help cause i`m really serious with her and i`m at a loss for wat to do .
She was once a very easy gal who sleeps around with guys . she has more then 30 flings in the past . And she`s only 21 . This number is really alarming to me. And i`ve been thinking a lot recently. She has told me that she would change and not go back to her old ways . There once i asked her under wat situation would she ever go back to her old ways. she told me that if i were to break up with her and that she couldnt find another guy as her bf long enough then she`ll go back to her old ways . sleeping around with different guy. i find her reply very odd. It`s like she still has this thinking of going back to her old ways .
Plus she really likes cash. Maybe cause she`s supporting herself. But she dont mind spending money when she`s with me . But i`ll always pay as she`s supporting herself.
So my question is if you were in such a situation will u or rather can u really forget her past and move on with her into maybe marriage ? People with similar experience pls share it out and also how did u deal with it .
It all depends on how much you like/love her.You shouldn't blame her for her past histories, everyone out there has their own good and bad histories. The reason why you shouldn't blame her for her past is because you weren't in her past to convince her what she's doing is wrong. And if you didn't exist in her past, then you certainly do not have any rights to bring it up and neither should they become your concerns.
And you shouldn't allow yourself to be troubled with her reply if both of you were to break up in the future. That's because she won't have anything else to do with you once she's broken up with you and you won't have anything else to do with her if you have broken up with her. It's called severing ties when a relationship is broken up. Most of the time, the relationship ties doesn't sever off completely due to past attachments or habits or life routine. You just need to cut off the remaining relationship ties yourself.
You can only FORGIVE her past and NEVER FORGET. I'm sure that's what she is going through as well, and carrying them as an emotional burden which she will NEVER be able to erase it from her stained soul.
But if you really do love her, please do not allow her past to affect your relationship negatively. Instead, use her past to treasure, love and cherish her for who she is and ALWAYS look forward to the present and the future...so that your relationship will keep growing and eventually blossom. I know this kind of past will affect most if not all guys in a relationship with her, but you can become the outstanding guy among the rest of the other plain and ordinary guys out there in your society.
Not really sure if this will make you feel better, but at least you had a girlfriend who was wanted by at least 30 guys in the past. Isn't it better than having a girlfriend who was shunned/avoided by all guys in the past?
If you want to marry her, then you should keep and nurture this relationship together with her. But if you mind, then you should let her go so that she can find other guys who will be more kind to her than you.
And don't count the score and her histories, cos ultimately it all comes down to how much you want her to be in your future and do you really have true love for her.
Don't do inhumane things to your girlfriend or I will curse your ku ku until it rots and melt into dirty water the next morning when you wakes up.
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Originally posted by Karma88:
hmm.. i think i`ll try to prove you wrong . Cause i`m really serious about it.
Thanks for the kind reply guys. i think i see the light . More time is needed .
haha. all the best. =)
i hope it works out for you too
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Originally posted by parn:
It all depends on how much you like/love her.You shouldn't blame her for her past histories, everyone out there has their own good and bad histories. The reason why you shouldn't blame her for her past is because you weren't in her past to convince her what she's doing is wrong. And if you didn't exist in her past, then you certainly do not have any rights to bring it up and neither should they become your concerns.
And you shouldn't allow yourself to be troubled with her reply if both of you were to break up in the future. That's because she won't have anything else to do with you once she's broken up with you and you won't have anything else to do with her if you have broken up with her. It's called severing ties when a relationship is broken up. Most of the time, the relationship ties doesn't sever off completely due to past attachments or habits or life routine. You just need to cut off the remaining relationship ties yourself.
You can only FORGIVE her past and NEVER FORGET. I'm sure that's what she is going through as well, and carrying them as an emotional burden which she will NEVER be able to erase it from her stained soul.
But if you really do love her, please do not allow her past to affect your relationship negatively. Instead, use her past to treasure, love and cherish her for who she is and ALWAYS look forward to the present and the future...so that your relationship will keep growing and eventually blossom. I know this kind of past will affect most if not all guys in a relationship with her, but you can become the outstanding guy among the rest of the other plain and ordinary guys out there in your society.
Not really sure if this will make you feel better, but at least you had a girlfriend who was wanted by at least 30 guys in the past. Isn't it better than having a girlfriend who was shunned/avoided by all guys in the past?
If you want to marry her, then you should keep and nurture this relationship together with her. But if you mind, then you should let her go so that she can find other guys who will be more kind to her than you.
And don't count the score and her histories, cos ultimately it all comes down to how much you want her to be in your future and do you really have true love for her.
Don't do inhumane things to your girlfriend or I will curse your ku ku until it rots and melt into dirty water the next morning when you wakes up.
i like this =)
treat her with grace, accepting her regardless of her past.
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i cant forget my past too ):
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Originally posted by brainerror:
i cant forget my past too ):
pat pat
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Thanks for ur reply .
First of all i would never do anything wrong to a gal . And after reading ur post i`m really thinking if i truely love her . As we started out not as friends first but as one night stand`s.
Maybe it`s just like wat dumbdumb! said. I might have this feeling that i`ll be doing something wrong if i were to break up with her. Cause i dont wanna be an asshole no more. But up till now i still cant get over her past . And wats worst is i keep thinking about it . It`s making me crazy. Maybe i should just break up with her and let her go back to her old ways. I can`t save her anymore. Although i would really like to.
Plus sometimes when i talk to her i realise i dont know nuts about her. Recently she told me she really loved me cause in our 3 months as a couple she has already rejected 5 guys who asked her to be their gf. But i didnt even know about it . Cause she didn`t want to tell me about me . All along i thought it was normal for a person to say no to another person if he or she is already in a stable relationship . But when she told me that she knew she love me cause she rejected 5 guys . It felt so wrong. What if one day we quarrel ? Will she go find another guy and spend the night with him ?
I guess i`m super insecure in this relationship and maybe i should give up . Is kina like her past and the fact that i know so little about her is really bothering me .