Can you really forget the PAST ?
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
she didn't get pregnant.
and regarding reliability, which country's guys are reliable?
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If u were to wan to go into a r/s with a girl .. U should realli accept wat she is in the past .. If u don't this r/s is not meant to be .. as easy as it sound .. It's not even easy at all.
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hmm.. anymore constrictive comments ?
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Originally posted by Karma88:
hmm.. anymore constrictive comments ?
constrictive comments ah. hmm i suggest wearing a chastiy belt if you don't want sex to be the focus of the relationship.
constructive comments, on the other hand, i suggest you talk to her and ask her where she see this relationship is going?
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Oh and parn pls stop destroying AA post .
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
constrictive comments ah. hmm i suggest wearing a chastiy belt if you don't want sex to be the focus of the relationship.
constructive comments, on the other hand, i suggest you talk to her and ask her where she see this relationship is going?
Well i could actually talk to her . But some times i dont really believe wat she says cause of her past . Is like she can say i want us to last forever. She does say that but to me i dont really trust her when she says that .Maybe i`m really thinking too much into her past . Ok how about telling me how should i get over her past ?
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The past is a cancelled cheque - giving it validity now is merely playing it in the mind, what is rite in from of u now becomes an adulterated expereince, love, real love is a present-moment phenomenon
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Originally posted by Karma88:
Well i could actually talk to her . But some times i dont really believe wat she says cause of her past . Is like she can say i want us to last forever. She does say that but to me i dont really trust her when she says that .Maybe i`m really thinking too much into her past . Ok how about telling me how should i get over her past ?
that's what it means to be a mature adult. being decisive and faithful to the decision you make.
nobody ever knows the future or how everything will play out. you can only make a decision based on the information you have now.
and like all decision, it involves a calculated risk,where in this case, you are risking your heart being broken. so you have to think whether it's worth the risk or not lor.
if you choose to give her a clean slate, and choosing to see her innocent until proven guilty, then you have to remind yourself that.
getting over her past, just like forgiveness, is a choice, not a feeling.
so you have to decide, do you choose to forgive her for her past, or not?
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
that's what it means to be a mature adult. being decisive and faithful to the decision you make.
nobody ever knows the future or how everything will play out. you can only make a decision based on the information you have now.
and like all decision, it involves a calculated risk,where in this case, you are risking your heart being broken. so you have to think whether it's worth the risk or not lor.
if you choose to give her a clean slate, and choosing to see her innocent until proven guilty, then you have to remind yourself that.
getting over her past, just like forgiveness, is a choice, not a feeling.
so you have to decide, do you choose to forgive her for her past, or not?
Well said !
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Originally posted by Midlusionz:
Well said !
not very often ppl praise me like this... sniff sniff
*tears of joy* -
Lawl
/pass tissue to dumbdumb
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Karma,
May I know why she told you she slept with 21 in guys in her past ?
Women are not like men.. usually... we don't go around bragging how many men we managed to bed per minute.
Ya know.. somehow.. something just doesn't sound quite right.......
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Karma,
May I know why she told you she slept with 21 in guys in her past ?
Women are not like men.. usually... we don't go around bragging how many men we managed to bed per minute.
Ya know.. somehow.. something just doesn't sound quite right.......
What do u mean ? -
Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
that's what it means to be a mature adult. being decisive and faithful to the decision you make.
nobody ever knows the future or how everything will play out. you can only make a decision based on the information you have now.
and like all decision, it involves a calculated risk,where in this case, you are risking your heart being broken. so you have to think whether it's worth the risk or not lor.
if you choose to give her a clean slate, and choosing to see her innocent until proven guilty, then you have to remind yourself that.
getting over her past, just like forgiveness, is a choice, not a feeling.
so you have to decide, do you choose to forgive her for her past, or not?
Thanks a lot . U should be smart guy not dumbdumb .
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Originally posted by Karma88:
What do u mean ?thank you, thank you!
anyway what jojo meant was.. girls generally treat sex as sacred, giving themselves to the person they love. so they're private about such matters..
so it's very weird that she would tell you about her sordid past, as if she's showing off her bragging rights.
but there are always exceptions to the rule. also, i think when she shared, her tone wasn't that of a bragger right? rather, she said it like it didn't matter?
that's because she might be ashamed and vulnerable, and not want you to think badly of her. so the only way to do that is either hide her past, or pretend that it doesn't matter to her.
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I want to say this:
You obviously care a lot about her and are actually serious about this relationship with her. so I say, try and talk to her more and understand her past... why does she like flings etc? Dont break up and do rash things - just try to understand and get to know her for a start alright.
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Want to forget the past? can - first, die to the past in U - both the 'good' n the 'bad' and u are free of the past, a clean state to welcome what is n not what u want or an idea of what it should be.
If u die only to the 'bad', it is only natural tht u would expect what life should be or have anidea of what is to come, cos the past(good) is wanting to repeat itself in another form in the future.
if u dont die to that aspect, how can u forget the past of another, if u compare urself to others u would compare others to another, if u dont, u wont compare another .....
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
thank you, thank you!
anyway what jojo meant was.. girls generally treat sex as sacred, giving themselves to the person they love. so they're private about such matters..
so it's very weird that she would tell you about her sordid past, as if she's showing off her bragging rights.
but there are always exceptions to the rule. also, i think when she shared, her tone wasn't that of a bragger right? rather, she said it like it didn't matter?
that's because she might be ashamed and vulnerable, and not want you to think badly of her. so the only way to do that is either hide her past, or pretend that it doesn't matter to her.
Well.. sorta correct.
But I just couldn't figure out why she did it... wouldn't it be better if you don't know at all ?
I mean all you had to know was, when was the last time she had sex.. and did she use any condom.. and the last time she had a blood test to make sure she's not infected ?
And really what's the point of judging a woman based on her past ?
If you are really interested in her.. you should be spending time to get to KNOW her.
Rule of thumb to your partner's past.
DON'T ASK. DON'T TELL.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Well.. sorta correct.
But I just couldn't figure out why she did it... wouldn't it be better if you don't know at all ?
I mean all you had to know was, when was the last time she had sex.. and did she use any condom.. and the last time she had a blood test to make sure she's not infected ?
And really what's the point of judging a woman based on her past ?
If you are really interested in her.. you should be spending time to get to KNOW her.
Rule of thumb to your partner's past.
DON'T ASK. DON'T TELL.
that's a dumb way to handle it. it's like walking in blind. any relationship should be built on truth and transparency.. if you have an ugly past, and your partner accepts you, that shows you how precious it is. but you hide it, or pretend it isn't there, sooner or later that past will come back.. and takes you by surprise.
it's always good to make an informed decision.
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check for the capital P stamped on the head. Can stand for Psycho and/or Problems both.
Anyways, communication. But they say a relationship based on lies never work.So i guess since truth is out , so how ?
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
that's a dumb way to handle it. it's like walking in blind. any relationship should be built on truth and transparency.. if you have an ugly past, and your partner accepts you, that shows you how precious it is. but you hide it, or pretend it isn't there, sooner or later that past will come back.. and takes you by surprise.
it's always good to make an informed decision.
Well dude... lemme ask you something ah...
Are you in a relationship with her vagina.. or are you in a relationship with her person ?
Trust me dude.. just because she is certified a virgin doesn't mean she is a good person.
Spend time getting to know her NOW.. and decide if she is the right future for you.
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Originally posted by BadzMaro:
check for the capital P stamped on the head. Can stand for Psycho and/or Problems both.
Anyways, communication. But they say a relationship based on lies never work.So i guess since truth is out , so how ?
Are you absolutely sure the letter P is not inside her vagina ?
Have you seen a virgin psycho ? I have. And it ain't pretty either.
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Originally posted by la luce nella piazza:
I want to say this:
You obviously care a lot about her and are actually serious about this relationship with her. so I say, try and talk to her more and understand her past... why does she like flings etc? Dont break up and do rash things - just try to understand and get to know her for a start alright.
well i`ve asked her about it and she says that she was bored in the past and apparently has a high sex drive . she actually could go to clubs alone and get flings. Tell me how do u forget that ? it`s really hard but i`m trying . -
Originally posted by Karma88:
well i`ve asked her about it and she says that she was bored in the past and apparently has a high sex drive . she actually could go to clubs alone and get flings. Tell me how do u forget that ? it`s really hard but i`m trying .Ahhh.. so this is the real thang ain't it ?
You're feeling insecure because you afraid you're just another one of her "fling".
How long will it take for you to have confidence in her, if she goes into an exclusive relationship with you ?
It's not about what she did in the past.. it's really about what she can do for you from now onwards.
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U imply love but u seem to be wavering, tip toe- ing, my guess, u love yes , but not her lar, the image in your head (of what love is, of what a gal is , of what morality or .... ) and now u are projecting it on her, that is why u seem to have difficulty relating to whatever she is, ... love simply is, bring in reasons - its a hellish expereince lar