Can you forgive him if he hired an escort and had sex too?
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I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 5 months because I found out that he had hired escorts and even had sex with one (only one or so he claims)
In our the relationship, I'm always the one to talk about our future and marriage and he always agrees with everything though he has never initiated any talks about marriage, which makes me think he's not sincere about marrying me or has never given it any thought.
The thing is he was a virgin so I was his first, and the reason he gave for doing what he did was because he wanted to experience other female encounters. And he swore that was the first and last time.
I have no idea what I should do or if I should forgive him. Because I've had other men before him so I cannot bring myself to fault him for what he did. But I have never cheated in any of my relationships. On the other hand if he cheated on me once, what's to stop him from doing it a second time?
I really don't know what I should do. I'm mid twenty so it's not too late to look for other trees in the forest but I also wonder if I believe in him that it will never happen again.
Any opinions or words of advice will be deeply appreciated.
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forget about him, there will be always a 2nd time
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dump him
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AFter having good time with the escort, it is useful you check if he is still healthy. If he is not just leave him. On the other hand, u gotta ask yourself do you still trust him?
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Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 5 months because I found out that he had hired escorts and even had sex with one (only one or so he claims)
In our the relationship, I'm always the one to talk about our future and marriage and he always agrees with everything though he has never initiated any talks about marriage, which makes me think he's not sincere about marrying me or has never given it any thought.
The thing is he was a virgin so I was his first, and the reason he gave for doing what he did was because he wanted to experience other female encounters. And he swore that was the first and last time.
I have no idea what I should do or if I should forgive him. Because I've had other men before him so I cannot bring myself to fault him for what he did. But I have never cheated in any of my relationships. On the other hand if he cheated on me once, what's to stop him from doing it a second time?
I really don't know what I should do. I'm mid twenty so it's not too late to look for other trees in the forest but I also wonder if I believe in him that it will never happen again.
Any opinions or words of advice will be deeply appreciated.
and the reason he gave for doing what he did was because he wanted to experience other female encounters.
There might be a second time, then a third time, forth, and so on. (but i canot guarantee if he will stop)
Cuz trying 1 person aint enough.
You think la. You only live once, and trying 2 ple in your life, like that enough meh?
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Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 5 months because I found out that he had hired escorts and even had sex with one (only one or so he claims)
In our the relationship, I'm always the one to talk about our future and marriage and he always agrees with everything though he has never initiated any talks about marriage, which makes me think he's not sincere about marrying me or has never given it any thought.
The thing is he was a virgin so I was his first, and the reason he gave for doing what he did was because he wanted to experience other female encounters. And he swore that was the first and last time.
I have no idea what I should do or if I should forgive him. Because I've had other men before him so I cannot bring myself to fault him for what he did. But I have never cheated in any of my relationships. On the other hand if he cheated on me once, what's to stop him from doing it a second time?
I really don't know what I should do. I'm mid twenty so it's not too late to look for other trees in the forest but I also wonder if I believe in him that it will never happen again.
Any opinions or words of advice will be deeply appreciated.
"Because I've had other men before him so I cannot bring myself to fault him for what he did. But I have never cheated in any of my relationships."
What are you talking about, girlfriend? Just because you had other boyfriends before and he never had a gf before so you have to forgive him - like wert?
Dump him already. Hiring escorts is a premediated thing, not like a in-the-moment-of-passion situations which is deplorable still, but at least forgiveable.
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and obviously he is not ready for marriage.
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When these things happen, NEVER NEVER just blame the guy. Maybe u can question what u did wrongly that make him look for escorts.
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Originally posted by la luce nella piazza:
"Because I've had other men before him so I cannot bring myself to fault him for what he did. But I have never cheated in any of my relationships."
What are you talking about, girlfriend? Just because you had other boyfriends before and he never had a gf before so you have to forgive him - like wert?
Dump him already. Hiring escorts is a premediated thing, not like a in-the-moment-of-passion situations which is deplorable still, but at least forgiveable.
I find this statement weird/funny too.
Whats wrong with having boyfriends before him? You are not in any fault.
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Originally posted by jgho83:
When these things happen, NEVER NEVER just blame the guy. Maybe u can question what u did wrongly that make him look for escorts.
He wanted to experience other females also lor.
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I find myself finding excuses for him. Trying to think in his shoes.
In his handphone he had also smsed a few other escorts but he said it was just to get them to send pictures to him. He has a collection of pictures of girls but I think it is a very normal guy thing. On the other hand if he was so into girls I'm afriad he will be more suceptible to temptation and hence stray more easily.
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time to show him your worth
if you plan to forgive him one day, do it the hard way.
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He has no respect for himself - how can he respect another, in this instance u, and the other thing is that he has no interrest in marriage or even a relationship for that matter.
He is a typical Male Chauvinist Pig!
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No, I won't.
He has no responsibility at all. -
wah. he so much money ah.
he give u how many cartier? -
Maybe u didnt do what the escorts do for him.
You know... escorts are very seasoned entertainers... they know what a man want... and they go great lengths to please them.
Little things like buying gifts, 撒娇, talk sweet nothings can turn most man easily.
Did u do those things for him?
I am sure the most common advice here is to break up with him, but thats not what I think u should do right away.
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hack no.
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the reason he gave is an excuse even u also knew it
if he truly love u. he will not be thinking of having sex wif other females
isnt it the same for female too
ask yourself this if u love a guy so much would u still think of having sex wif others males
R/S goes both ways Deadweightheart
somemore there hints that when u are talking about plans of the future and marriage he seem not intersted so do u think u want to live your life with this kind of man?
whatever your choice is god bless u
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why do people bother to tell their gf they go for prostitutes and escorts
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Are faithful men really extinct?
The strange thing is men always complain when they have a demanding, unreasonable or materialistic girlfriend yet they cannot bring themselves to leave them and are totally hooked.
I'm independent.... work.... have my own ride.... I believe in mutual respect and don't ever take him for granted but it seems the bad girls get the better end of the deal.
I'm not ugly, I'm not overweight, I have guys coming up to me in the street asking to know me and I wouldn't even give my number because I would feel I cheated on him if I did. And he's not a looker. I just can't figure!
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Beyond pain, can't cry because my heart is a dead weight.
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To change another person - its not going to work, this is what he is, a guy - who lacks self-love, lacks self-respect, -- how on earth is he going to give u what he lacks in himself, Gal, he is sowing seeds of misery for u!
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faithful men are around
they are as hard to find as nice girls
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Originally posted by Deadweightheart:
Are faithful men really extinct?
The strange thing is men always complain when they have a demanding, unreasonable or materialistic girlfriend yet they cannot bring themselves to leave them and are totally hooked.
I'm independent.... work.... have my own ride.... I believe in mutual respect and don't ever take him for granted but it seems the bad girls get the better end of the deal.
I'm not ugly, I'm not overweight, I have guys coming up to me in the street asking to know me and I wouldn't even give my number because I would feel I cheated on him if I did. And he's not a looker. I just can't figure!
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Beyond pain, can't cry because my heart is a dead weight.
Are faithful men really extinct?
The strange thing is men always complain when they have a demanding, unreasonable or materialistic girlfriend yet they cannot bring themselves to leave them and are totally hooked.
WTF u talking?
and there is faithful men around OKAY!
if you not happy with that. go and turn lesbian. no one will stop you
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come come, i got chance to show MV liao
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES3btyaHcYQ
see? change isn't so bad.
and i can't find the wallet story regarding relationships...
something about what you are feeling now is like losing your wallet, u feel helpless blah blah blah, then you get a new one and slowly u become comfy with the new one and u tell yourself that you are not going to lose this one.
but i think that applies more to men who lost women they didn't appreciate
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Originally posted by jgho83:
Maybe u didnt do what the escorts do for him.
You know... escorts are very seasoned entertainers... they know what a man want... and they go great lengths to please them.
Little things like buying gifts, 撒娇, talk sweet nothings can turn most man easily.
Did u do those things for him?
I am sure the most common advice here is to break up with him, but thats not what I think u should do right away.
I bought him a Gucci belt, arranged suprise birthday party, I always tell him I love him (I really do).
I really wanted to make it work, I really went to great lengths too.