depressed and demoralised
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Originally posted by 86jl:
thx.. i will do my very best and try to face the world again... for nw is so boring, everyday i stuck at home or to hosp for physio and checkup and i got prob sittin up more than 2hours at 1 go... my spine is still in a veri cui and weak condition, and my amputated wounds still haben heal properly, so i cant really wear my fake legs yet.. hai
Take it easy, buddy. Glad you have chosen to take the positive path. Play some computer games, or read up books to kill the boredom. It will take some time with wounds of such magnitude. Cheer up, it aint the end of the world for you yet. For every face that turns away from you, there will be many more who will face you with a smile and encourage you, just like folks here.Cheers!
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take things slowly, hope u will continue to stay positive ... theres still a long road for you but eventually u will become stronger mentally and emotionally than most of the people out there ..
take care friend
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
u need a doctor to tell you that you have no chance of walking again? after telling us u had both your legs amputated?
u'd think that would be obvious..
what accident is that, so severe
I feel like fucking cut off your fucking fingers and not getting u any medical assistance.
Asshole -
Originally posted by xtreyier:
Take it easy, buddy. Glad you have chosen to take the positive path. Play some computer games, or read up books to kill the boredom. It will take some time with wounds of such magnitude. Cheer up, it aint the end of the world for you yet. For every face that turns away from you, there will be many more who will face you with a smile and encourage you, just like folks here.Cheers!
hi thx for ur encouragement.. ya doc mention tt will take a while for the big wound to heal.. there is like abt 30-40cm scar on each on my butt nw... look so damn ugly *cry*.. nw still heavily bandaged up and got to wear a body and neck brace forever... if can, would haf shown some pic here but unable to... doc told me to be prepared to lie down more than sit up for rest of my life cos of my condition even if i do physio and rehab -
Originally posted by 86jl:
hi thx for ur encouragement.. ya doc mention tt will take a while for the big wound to heal.. there is like abt 30-40cm scar on each on my butt nw... look so damn ugly *cry*.. nw still heavily bandaged up and got to wear a body and neck brace forever... if can, would haf shown some pic here but unable to... doc told me to be prepared to lie down more than sit up for rest of my life cos of my condition even if i do physio and rehab
Hey buddy, What your doctor said was right.But do know that he is only giving you a professional opinion, based on his personal knowledge. There's still alot about the mind that doctors and scientists do not know about yet.I'll bet with you that Oscar Pistorius's doctors said the same thing, and would have laugh their toes off if he told them he will be running, let alone join the olympics.
There is more to healing than just medical theory and current knowledge. There is something called 'self-healing'. It iies within our mentality/brain which science aknowledges we only use 10% of it. There is another 90% of which humanity had never used.
Why i named Oscar Pistorius as a role model and inspiration is because he went beyond that 10% and probably only reached 12% by his achievement. He proved to his doctors and everyone else in the world the power of the mind if it is determined, and never give up. He is a living proof of 'self healing'.
But why many disbelive in 'self healing' as mumbo jumbo, magic, foolish tricks, etc, is because they expect it to work the next day upon believing!
It doesnt work that way. It takes time, and incremental steps of self believe and confidence in one self, no matter how many obstacles or failures one makes. The end is possible, as Oscar had shown us, which is actually only the beginning of what he can do once he sets his mind on it.
On a personal basis of 'self healing', I will share with you a personal experience, even though it is not as dramatic as yours in terms of injury.
I broke my ankle in a military accident of which was my fault, and had an operation. The doctors put metal plates on my ankle to join the bones. They wanted to downgrade me, but i pleaded with them to give me a chance to prove myself. They gave me 6 mths, but knew there was no way I could walk without a limp, let alone run and be a Pes A grade combat active service soldier.
I allowed myself to heal, and took regular excercises, such as riding racer bicycle for excercise, even with a cast on my leg, regardless of how others looked at me. It's my life anyway. In 4 weeks time, my cast was removed as the MO found my ankle had healed well.
Within 3 months, I went for a SAF medical board review to beg them to allow me to sit for my IPPT test. They tested me fully, and for safety sake, ensured there were medical orderlies around during the tests. My 2.4km was 8.45 mins, just a few seconds off my normal time, even with the metal plates on my ankle. The average passing time was 10mins.
I shocked them all, but most pleased were the doctors who operated on me. They were very young and newly posted doctors ( if not interns) at the govt Changi hospital. I saw them in the operating room checking my ankle before the anesthesia mask was applied onto me before the operation. I never needed to go back to my family doctor.
Since then, I had climbed the steep mountains ( not hills) of Taiwan and swurm the rivers of Brunei, trekked faster than anyone else in Thailand during my reservist service. And I am only an ordinary being, just like anyone else. Perhaps, the difference is my mentality - to give myself time and never give up.
You too can self heal, but you must realistic. It will take time, far more longer in your case, but you must never give up trying, in incremental steps and not be overly ambitious.
What I can do, you can do too, if not better, for you are just like me, a human being, bleed the same, and have similar aspirations and ideals. The difference may be that I am much more able bodied than you, but there is nothing that I can do that you cant do, if not better, once your wounds heals and you get accustom to your prosthestics, so long as you never give up, and give yourself a chance, in life and everything else.
Good luck and take care, buddy. Cheers!
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take care man
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Hey Ts,
Although i might not be able to know what youre going through now. I would like to tell you that please do not give up on life but instead find the new dream that will last you through and do your parents proud. What's ur age? if you're young I would suggest you to complete your education like O- Level or what, which is gonna occupied up ur personal time as well as building up of your knowledge.
Personally i am down w/ injury which have not even recovered (wrist injury), recovery period is the killer because there would be alot going through your mind and i would like to tell you not to dwell on the past instead be more optimistic so that your love one's would not be so worried about you :)
Take care :)
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Originally posted by xtreyier:
Hey buddy, What your doctor said was right.But do know that he is only giving you a professional opinion, based on his personal knowledge. There's still alot about the mind that doctors and scientists do not know about yet.I'll bet with you that Oscar Pistorius's doctors said the same thing, and would have laugh their toes off if he told them he will be running, let alone join the olympics.
There is more to healing than just medical theory and current knowledge. There is something called 'self-healing'. It iies within our mentality/brain which science aknowledges we only use 10% of it. There is another 90% of which humanity had never used.
Why i named Oscar Pistorius as a role model and inspiration is because he went beyond that 10% and probably only reached 12% by his achievement. He proved to his doctors and everyone else in the world the power of the mind if it is determined, and never give up. He is a living proof of 'self healing'.
But why many disbelive in 'self healing' as mumbo jumbo, magic, foolish tricks, etc, is because they expect it to work the next day upon believing!
It doesnt work that way. It takes time, and incremental steps of self believe and confidence in one self, no matter how many obstacles or failures one makes. The end is possible, as Oscar had shown us, which is actually only the beginning of what he can do once he sets his mind on it.
On a personal basis of 'self healing', I will share with you a personal experience, even though it is not as dramatic as yours in terms of injury.
I broke my ankle in a military accident of which was my fault, and had an operation. The doctors put metal plates on my ankle to join the bones. They wanted to downgrade me, but i pleaded with them to give me a chance to prove myself. They gave me 6 mths, but knew there was no way I could walk without a limp, let alone run and be a Pes A grade combat active service soldier.
I allowed myself to heal, and took regular excercises, such as riding racer bicycle for excercise, even with a cast on my leg, regardless of how others looked at me. It's my life anyway. In 4 weeks time, my cast was removed as the MO found my ankle had healed well.
Within 3 months, I went for a SAF medical board review to beg them to allow me to sit for my IPPT test. They tested me fully, and for safety sake, ensured there were medical orderlies around during the tests. My 2.4km was 8.45 mins, just a few seconds off my normal time, even with the metal plates on my ankle. The average passing time was 10mins.
I shocked them all, but most pleased were the doctors who operated on me. They were very young and newly posted doctors ( if not interns) at the govt Changi hospital. I saw them in the operating room checking my ankle before the anesthesia mask was applied onto me before the operation. I never needed to go back to my family doctor.
Since then, I had climbed the steep mountains ( not hills) of Taiwan and swurm the rivers of Brunei, trekked faster than anyone else in Thailand during my reservist service. And I am only an ordinary being, just like anyone else. Perhaps, the difference is my mentality - to give myself time and never give up.
You too can self heal, but you must realistic. It will take time, far more longer in your case, but you must never give up trying, in incremental steps and not be overly ambitious.
What I can do, you can do too, if not better, for you are just like me, a human being, bleed the same, and have similar aspirations and ideals. The difference may be that I am much more able bodied than you, but there is nothing that I can do that you cant do, if not better, once your wounds heals and you get accustom to your prosthestics, so long as you never give up, and give yourself a chance, in life and everything else.
Good luck and take care, buddy. Cheers!
hao de, i shall start believin in it.. but my butt nerves are damaged beyond repair le hence i wun be able to control my fake legs again.. my spine oso quite critically damaged... is actually supported by 3 long metal rods nw... i will try my best tho...icywater: thx for ur encouragement too.. i onli 23 tis yr, was studyin in uni before this but right nw had to stop because of my condition, i still afraid to face ppl, and i am unable to sit up more than 2 hrs at 1 go...
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TS
u dont have legs,
but have a functioning brain.
do something useful to yrself,
n other ppl around u.
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In everyday living, one does not have to do anything. It is all a question of what one (you) are being :
Many believe if they 'have' a thing (more time, money, love -- whatever), then they can finally 'do' a thing (eg write a book, a hobby, holidaying, buy a house, relationship), which will allow them to 'be' a thing (happy, peaceful, content, love . . .).
In actuality, they are reversing the be-do-have model. In existence as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is or how or what it ought to be), 'having ness' does not produce 'being ness', but the other way around.
First you 'be' the thing called eg. 'happy' (or loving, wise or whatever), then you start 'doing' things from this centre of beingness -- and soon you realize that what you are doing ends up bringing you the things you've always wanted to 'have'.
What one (you are) is being reproduces itself in the physical form
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbFb-uxxyNg
i know this is quite well known, but i thought it would be apt.
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dude, from e bottom of my heart. i wish you all e best in life =)
believe in yourself!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DxlJWJ_WfA
(i hope this video can encourage you. God bless..)
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thanks for all the videos... i nt sure how long it will take me but i will do my best... since doc say i wun be able to move my lower half of the body forever even tho i haf 2 fake legs, i try my best to use my upper body... as of nw due to the nerve damage it has done to my upper body which cause me to left onli 20% of my original strength, i will work hard to do smth
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No worries buds, take your time to heal.
As you were from NUS, don't let the education go to waste. All you need is a couple of good books and heck! who knows! You may be the next inventor of advance bionics or cybernatics tech, even if you are not from the engr faculty. All it needs is focus, discipline and the application of what you have learnt in sec,JC.
Set a direction and never waver from it. You are a precious life to humanity, if not to our society. By your brave and courageous presence here alone, you are already a role model for others, regardless if the rest of us are able bodied or physically challenged, for you did not give up on life and am willing to press on.
Good luck and cheers!
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tis is how my right leg look.. so damn ugly lor :( dun haf the shape of a leg except the feet
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It is only as ugly as you think it is.
It's a prosthetic device and would assist you in your mobility. Ugly or pretty is not the issue, as the saying goes - whether its a white or black cat, so long as it catches the mice, it is a good cat.
There is more to life than just outwardly ugliness or beauty. To others, it is the inward beauty - what you really are than what you look like - that attracts far longer. This has been how mankind had behaved since civilisation began. Prince Charles with Lady Camilla is one example.
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to be honest i will never be able to comprehend ur feelings because im not u, however life still goes on no matter what happened, hope u will be strong and pick urself up.
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Originally posted by xtreyier:
It is only as ugly as you think it is.
It's a prosthetic device and would assist you in your mobility. Ugly or pretty is not the issue, as the saying goes - whether its a white or black cat, so long as it catches the mice, it is a good cat.
There is more to life than just outwardly ugliness or beauty. To others, it is the inward beauty - what you really are than what you look like - that attracts far longer. This has been how mankind had behaved since civilisation began. Prince Charles with Lady Camilla is one example.
but tis prosthetic device will not assist me in my mobility. it will onli be fixed on me juz for show nia... :( doc say my butt is paralysed so i am left with nth in the lower body to control the legs.. tt's y i wish for smth tt at least look llike legs, nw i can onli wear long pants when go out, cant show other ppl my fake legs look like tis
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Two prisoner holed up in a cell were looking out into the nite sky, the first one was delighting at the waxing and waning of the moon. The second was cursing and could only see the bars of the window in the cell.
It is not to demean you : Understanding that you are caught in a bind of circular thinking - pix this - your mind is like a squirrel in a cage going round and round - its unhealthy and emotionally debilitating.
All that one suffers is the unaccpetance of what IS. Accept all that u are - and though it mite not have you walking - it will at least allow you to manage what is at hand.
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hai.. i noe but i still unable to stop myself frm thinkin negatively.. i cried a few times under my blanket, go to hosp i oso dun dare face ppl, will wrap myself up and hide my face... i keep thinkin wat is goin to happen for me in the future with my condition like tis.. how to have family, look after my parents etc... i feel so bad and useless nw, hate myself and my fake legs, dun feel like wearin them since oso no use
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Originally posted by 86jl:
hai.. i noe but i still unable to stop myself frm thinkin negatively.. i cried a few times under my blanket, go to hosp i oso dun dare face ppl, will wrap myself up and hide my face... i keep thinkin wat is goin to happen for me in the future with my condition like tis.. how to have family, look after my parents etc... i feel so bad and useless nw, hate myself and my fake legs, dun feel like wearin them since oso no use
I can understand how you feel...Shattered dreams and hopes...so many worries and questions unanswered...All you see is darkness in your future...Why me? Why? You asked...
It's ok to cry, and let it out. It's ok to hide yourself behind a shell, for in there would you find comfort and solace, the only reality you want to know and not open your eyes, shutting yourself from the world and everyone...
But in the end, you must face up to reality, a decision that only you can and must make. You still possess the gift of life - to see a new sunrise, smell the air of our world, be with your love ones and those who love you, etc..things of beauty that millions who at the point of death were denied, either by destiny or fate which they would plead piteously to be given the chance to live....
No person is useless unless he/she is determined to be useless. You are far stronger than you presume, for many who were worse off than you had proven capable even though less able bodied since civilisation began
To cry, to be in sorrow will only sadden those who love and care about you. Only you alone can determine how you can use the precious gift of life with courage and determination to love those you love and who loves you, more, and with your living mind on how to help others.
This is a reality that you must and can confront without fear. Love and hope springs eternal in our courageous history of mankind and civilisation.
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Originally posted by 86jl:
hai.. i noe but i still unable to stop myself frm thinkin negatively.. i cried a few times under my blanket, go to hosp i oso dun dare face ppl, will wrap myself up and hide my face... i keep thinkin wat is goin to happen for me in the future with my condition like tis.. how to have family, look after my parents etc... i feel so bad and useless nw, hate myself and my fake legs, dun feel like wearin them since oso no use
Thinking negatively can't help the situation. Take a good rest and recuperate your body first. There are many people are physically disable but they still able to get on with their life, despite their physical limitation.You can take a stroll in the park, around your neighbourhood and slowly get used to it. No one is really thinking negatively of you. Some of them are just curious and some of them really feel for you. Most people really hope that you can get better with your life.
Be cheerful. I'm sure that your parents are feeling sad. You have to be brave for them. I know it is tough and have to facing so many things all at once, take your time to figure out what can you do with your condition. I'm sure you are undergoing physical therapy and slowly rehabilitating your body- which mean there is a chance of improvement.
By the way, i hope you don't forsake your studies. Take your time to recover first. cheerz
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I can understand your persistant but practical fears for your future. This is another reality that you will have to face - the means to live beside hope and love.
If you have the will to live courageously, you will be able to find the means. No mere words, for many more worse off than you had survived.
Take the Uncle on a wheelchair selling tissue papers from a wheelchair. He is not a begger, but earning an honest living selling a need in our hot tropical weather, just as any other salesmen performing their jobs to the CEO canvassing for sales for his biz.
SIngaporeans, despite their cold exteriors, are one of the warmest and generous people on Earth and do have their hearts in the right place. Our treasuries and contributions to charities are proof. Which is why the Uncle could make a min of $2,000 a month, more or less.
Or if you care to look further, physically challenged citizens are also employed in service and industry where mobility is not an issue - such as telemarketing, data entry, clerks, etc.
But should you aim further, our society had contributed to your education, and you can make full use of what you have learnt, or continue to learn in your free time, to propel yourself forward in life.
I had no computer engineering or programming education, but thru sheer hardwork, I became part of a visionary international team that promoted 3D onto the web thru the use of VRML back in 1995, led by Mark Pesci.
It was the percussor of MMORPG we have today. In those days, we were ahead of time, in an age of slow download 56k dial up, but we believed one day mankind will achieve phenomenal connectivity speeds beyond today's and paved the way.
There were no courses then, and I had to learn VRML programming from scratch, thru trial and error in my free time on the net, build and showcase Singapore's Orchard Rd in 3 dimensional view on the web, the very first 3D S'pore site using the free Cortona 3D viewer.
I approached some venture capitalist and 2 were interested to sink in money to develope it further, for use as a 3D property, shopping and gps portal. But the dotcom crash came around '99 and I had to drop it to save my other biz, in the midst of the long suffering and lingering 97 financial crisis as well.
My point isnt so much about me. Rather its about you, and what you can do if you put your mind to it. There are capabilities within you and everyone else that you may not be aware of, but if you give yourself a chance, you will be pleasantly surprised by the results. You are educated and have a mind, and it will be your greatest resource, as long as you don't give up trying.
You set your own limits, so long as it is taken with careful consideration and in patient incremental steps, I am most sure you can achieve far better than what I had ever done ( which is little anyway).
Cheers and wishing you a speedy recovery!
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hi xtreyier and mumee, thx for all the great encouragement . i have been thinkin alot this past 1 wk about my future and etc.. i have slowly accept the fact that i will be wheelchair bound and legless frm now onwards... slowly gettin used to wearin fake legs, started to go for counselling and next wk i will go to the handicapped association and join the assoication..
but yest i juz received a bad news frm the doc again.. doc say with the serious spine and nerve damage that i suffered, i might not recover any strength back in upper body but instead there is a 95% chance that i may be fully paralysed frm neck down in the next half a yr... cry :'(