How can I make my hubby love me more?
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Originally posted by TheMissus:
U say now only.. when the time comes I bet you won't be able to do what u say now
i'm sure i'll be able to do it, because:if i get jealous or want to control her, she'll get even closer to other guys.....and this is BAD!!!!
since in such a situation, i've nothing to lose liao, so might as well use the trick.
besides, even if it fails, it just means the gal is unfaithful or gonna be unfaithful sooner or later, and that's not worth my time.as the saying goes, there's a lot more gals out there who are more worth your time.
in your case, there's a lot more guys out there who're more worth your time.
maybe u could use reverse-psychology on your guy like what i said earlier?
meaning, just ignore him for a few weeks or up to 3 months and see his response.
after all, at this stage, u got nothing to lose liao, why not? for all you know, it might succeed and he will start eating out from your hands and begging you for affection.
if he doesn't, there's still plenty of guys out there who are dying to go shopping and holiday with you, fly kites, go beach, go cycling, do crazy and fun things, with you.
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Since we know that your husband works in the private sector, it is expected that he is very driven to succeed as it is very hard to climb up the corporate ladder. Maybe the reason why he is working hard is because he wants to assure you both have a better future? Nevertheless, sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Heck! I believe everyone has said that numerous times already. But this seems to be the only good old fashioned way to go. If he is the kind who opens up easily about the problems in his heart, that's one problem down! If he doesn't, then you have a HUGE problem there. But to begin with, if he doesn't trust you enough to talk about the things bothering him, then why did you guys even get married in the first place? There is a lack of trust here...
And I suggest you had better not use the tactic of TELLING HIM that you are going out clubbing with your ex-boyfriends and all just to make him feel jealous or spite him. This is not going to work in any way. There is a chance that by doing so, his faith & trust in you might drop and let's just say I've seen quite a few relationships go down the drain because of a lack of trust between the couple. (Notice the pattern? Again the lack of trust problem) Just talk to him about it. Let him know that no matter what happens, you would always be by his side as his faithful wife. Even if you can't help in any way. Just your pressence should be able to reassure him & allay his doubts.
You can continue on with your seduction acts. No problem and all. But you must know that if he is not biting in any way, it is not necessarily because he has lost interest in you. He might be just be tired after a hard day at work. And don't go jumping into assumptions that he is seeing another girl outside. Even if you think he is, find a way to broach the subject carefully. If not, he would think that you would have so little trust in him. (Yet again, the "Trust" word comes out) And don't go snooping around checking his emails and messages or go so far as to hire a PI to tail him. This would really prove how little you think of him. But if the tell-tale signs are there that you suspect there is really a girl out there, then collect your required evidence to confront him and take him down. That should be your last resort in order to protect yourself.
To me, in a relationship you must have not only love, but trust, commitment, responsibility, respect and understanding. Without these, I feel that you shouldn't even get started. Let alone get married. If any of these components are absent to begin with, then the relationship would break down tragically and in the end, who would be the hurt ones? You & him. So just think it through and tread lightly. I wish you all the best in your marriage and relationship with your hubby.
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Originally posted by -Wanderer-:
Since we know that your husband works in the private sector, it is expected that he is very driven to succeed as it is very hard to climb up the corporate ladder. Maybe the reason why he is working hard is because he wants to assure you both have a better future? Nevertheless, sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Heck! I believe everyone has said that numerous times already. But this seems to be the only good old fashioned way to go. If he is the kind who opens up easily about the problems in his heart, that's one problem down! If he doesn't, then you have a HUGE problem there. But to begin with, if he doesn't trust you enough to talk about the things bothering him, then why did you guys even get married in the first place? There is a lack of trust here...
And I suggest you had better not use the tactic of TELLING HIM that you are going out clubbing with your ex-boyfriends and all just to make him feel jealous or spite him. This is not going to work in any way. There is a chance that by doing so, his faith & trust in you might drop and let's just say I've seen quite a few relationships go down the drain because of a lack of trust between the couple. (Notice the pattern? Again the lack of trust problem) Just talk to him about it. Let him know that no matter what happens, you would always be by his side as his faithful wife. Even if you can't help in any way. Just your pressence should be able to reassure him & allay his doubts.
You can continue on with your seduction acts. No problem and all. But you must know that if he is not biting in any way, it is not necessarily because he has lost interest in you. He might be just be tired after a hard day at work. And don't go jumping into assumptions that he is seeing another girl outside. Even if you think he is, find a way to broach the subject carefully. If not, he would think that you would have so little trust in him. (Yet again, the "Trust" word comes out) And don't go snooping around checking his emails and messages or go so far as to hire a PI to tail him. This would really prove how little you think of him. But if the tell-tale signs are there that you suspect there is really a girl out there, then collect your required evidence to confront him and take him down. That should be your last resort in order to protect yourself.
To me, in a relationship you must have not only love, but trust, commitment, responsibility, respect and understanding. Without these, I feel that you shouldn't even get started. Let alone get married. If any of these components are absent to begin with, then the relationship would break down tragically and in the end, who would be the hurt ones? You & him. So just think it through and tread lightly. I wish you all the best in your marriage and relationship with your hubby.
i wrote he works in the public sector, not private sector.
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just dun nag at your hubby can le. I know that women like to nag and nag and yak and yak, sometimes really buey tahan. another thing to take note is, do you gossip uyour hubby behind his back, to your friends, relatives and family members? If you do, please refrain from gossipping as guys dun like it. it shows that you cant be trusted to keep his secrets, or things he doesnt want pple to know. could it be that some of your wierd habits, he doesnt like.
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Originally posted by marcteng:
just dun nag at your hubby can le.
I know that women like to nag and nag and yak and yak, sometimes really buey tahan.
another thing to take note is, do you gossip uyour hubby behind his back, to your friends, relatives and family members? If you do, please refrain from gossipping as guys dun like it. it shows that you cant be trusted to keep his secrets, or things he doesnt want pple to know.
could it be that some of your wierd habits, he doesnt like.
Yes i do like to gossip, which woman doesn't? But I make sure i do not reveal 'classified' stuff bout our lives, his private personal stuff or his classified work stuff (which I do know quite a lot) to anyone else.
But when it comes to complaining about him, I do complain about him to some friends, but only in the context of friends confiding in one another.
Things have improved since I spoke to him, he knows that he has to do some basic things required of a husband eg sleep beside me at night.
Yesterday he texted me while he was at work to tell me to book tickets to transformers as he really wants to watch it. We watched it last night after he finished work. However, he still had to work at home on his laptop today, which he did. He felt tired and is snoozing now. Hope we at least get to go out for dinner one night cos its the weekend after all and my weekend is ending soon (i am off on fri and sat, have to work on sun). Just had to attend to neighbour from downstairs who knocked on the door to confront about the noise from the weight lifting while hubby is sleeping...
when hubby is stressed = stressed at round. now i feel stressed too.
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Originally posted by TheMissus:
Yes i do like to gossip, which woman doesn't? But I make sure i do not reveal 'classified' stuff bout our lives, his private personal stuff or his classified work stuff (which I do know quite a lot) to anyone else.
But when it comes to complaining about him, I do complain about him to some friends, but only in the context of friends confiding in one another.
Things have improved since I spoke to him, he knows that he has to do some basic things required of a husband eg sleep beside me at night.
Yesterday he texted me while he was at work to tell me to book tickets to transformers as he really wants to watch it. We watched it last night after he finished work. However, he still had to work at home on his laptop today, which he did. He felt tired and is snoozing now. Hope we at least get to go out for dinner one night cos its the weekend after all and my weekend is ending soon (i am off on fri and sat, have to work on sun). Just had to attend to neighbour from downstairs who knocked on the door to confront about the noise from the weight lifting while hubby is sleeping...
when hubby is stressed = stressed at round. now i feel stressed too.
do you have any wierd habits he doesnt like? what about the wierd habits of his you disliked? All I can say is this. give and take. sometimes when he is angry or pissed off, let him vent his frustrations on you, but dun allow him to lift his finger on him. when he is angry, let him vent and dun retaliate, just keep your mouth shut and leave him alone. when he is ok, he will feel guilty about it and might even treat you better. Just dun nag and nag at him can already if you are fond of nagging. -
Public or private, it doesn't really matter. Everyone wants to work hard and get their promotion. Unless you are telling me he wants to remain stagnant at that position for a another reason...
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you mean ur hubby dun come home and sleep beside you meh?
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Originally posted by -Wanderer-:
Public or private, it doesn't really matter. Everyone wants to work hard and get their promotion. Unless you are telling me he wants to remain stagnant at that position for a another reason...
There are pple who want to live only for today and have fun today. tomorrow will be coped with when tomorrow arrives> if u are fit healthy and have confidence in yourself then u will adjust to whatever circumstance arises.
this is an attractive philosophy provided getting by and having fun are sufficent. they may be well for a moment. but will they be later. young hippies and the very old hippies are attractive, but it is not much in between.
then there are those who forever working for the future. for such pple there is never a now or today. if they reach one stage they must work toward the next. if the enjoyment of work is a high value, this make sense. but if work is means to an end, one has to ask when is the end going to be reached.
Achievement is a value just as much as enjoyment. this are personal choices as to how the two mixed. As always, wisdom is about balance.
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Originally posted by BotaHead:
There are pple who want to live only for today and have fun today. tomorrow will be coped with when tomorrow arrives> if u are fit healthy and have confidence in yourself then u will adjust to whatever circumstance arises.
this is an attractive philosophy provided getting by and having fun are sufficent. they may be well for a moment. but will they be later. young hippies and the very old hippies are attractive, but it is not much in between.
then there are those who forever working for the future. for such pple there is never a now or today. if they reach one stage they must work toward the next. if the enjoyment of work is a high value, this make sense. but if work is means to an end, one has to ask when is the end going to be reached.
Achievement is a value just as much as enjoyment. this are personal choices as to how the two mixed. As always, wisdom is about balance.
Well, that is up to her husband to achieve that balance between work & family. The most important thing now is for her husband to see the light and come back down to earth to TheMissus.
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Originally posted by BotaHead:
There are pple who want to live only for today and have fun today. tomorrow will be coped with when tomorrow arrives> if u are fit healthy and have confidence in yourself then u will adjust to whatever circumstance arises.
this is an attractive philosophy provided getting by and having fun are sufficent. they may be well for a moment. but will they be later. young hippies and the very old hippies are attractive, but it is not much in between.
then there are those who forever working for the future. for such pple there is never a now or today. if they reach one stage they must work toward the next. if the enjoyment of work is a high value, this make sense. but if work is means to an end, one has to ask when is the end going to be reached.
Achievement is a value just as much as enjoyment. this are personal choices as to how the two mixed. As always, wisdom is about balance.
Yeah I just had this talk with my hubby too last weekend, he was confiding in me about some feelings he has work-wise. He related that even when he achieves or succeeds in something, he does not feel pleased or jubilant, all he feels is relief. His life is a journey of having to fulfil things to meet expectations. He said whenever he succeeds at something, he does not look back and go, wow he feels so proud and happy that he did it, all he feels is a sigh of relief that he 'cleared' that and can move on to the next thing he has to overcome just to be relieved.
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thanks for the help from everyone. I just wanted to update, my hubby's mood has improved tremendously, and that is cos things at work have indeed improved, in fact last night something very good happened at work, in which he received praise from someone he regarded, this made his mood very good. When his mood is good, his mojo returns. Still, all this is very much tied to his work situation. Which means when work situation = good, he will be in good shape as a person. I just pray that things continue to improve from here on so we can be happy.
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marriage has so many problems. tsktsk
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well make him relax and laugh here is something to be creative.....
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a good blow job?
i love my girl friends.... all of them because they give good blow job
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You are an accident waiting to happen - so is your marriage lar! House of cards is what is propping it up .... need i say more?
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
You are an accident waiting to happen - so is your marriage lar! House of cards is what is propping it up .... need i say more?
hi, sorry but I dun understand u mean.. can you explain a bit more? thanks.
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Things have improved a great deal.. he's been more relaxed since he returned from his work trip overseas and is more relaxed now, he's also returned to sleeping in the bedroom.
Tonight we went to Marina Barrage for dinner and strolled around the barrage, I feel like I got my husband back!!! He also suggested for my birthday this month end, we go to a beautiful villa resort nearby in Bali or Phuket..
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Originally posted by TheMissus:
Things have improved a great deal.. he's been more relaxed since he returned from his work trip overseas and is more relaxed now, he's also returned to sleeping in the bedroom.
Tonight we went to Marina Barrage for dinner and strolled around the barrage, I feel like I got my husband back!!! He also suggested for my birthday this month end, we go to a beautiful villa resort nearby in Bali or Phuket..
You ah..... still come here talk talk talk????
WEI!! Now is CHANCE leh.....
CHHHIIIOOOOOOOOOOONNNNGGGGG AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! XDDDDDD
And don't forget come back share share after you've had your great time of fun. =P
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I meant that one cannot just simply depend on events and situations to fall in place or even things to be alrite for things to be ok. Its decorating the outside when the inside is malnourished or impoverished.
You unwittingly are simply reacting to what he is or does - u are enslaved, look at it the another way - imagine if u are self-fulfilled in many ways - whether he is ok or doing ok with work or not ... becomes irrelevant. You are free and most of all you are in a position to share what you are.
The same goes for him.
The 'inbox' of the marriage or ... is it quality or quantity? The quality will stay and endure all .terrains. and as for the quantity - its a dicey affair cos its a chase and very exhausting. Egs of quality - kindness, compassion, appreciation, gratitude. Quantity - having a house, a car, flowers. holidays ....add on what you will.
I have kept it simple and of course, u are free to imbibe or discard my views.
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wearing mini skirt can help too.
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Originally posted by Fire Cracker:
wearing mini skirt can help too.
I am sure it will help you...a lot -
Originally posted by Short Ninja:
I am sure it will help you...a lot
yeah lick my shit. short ass. -
Originally posted by TheMissus:
How can I make my hubby love me more?
He is now very focused and consumed by work, which I understand is necessary for men, and I don't wish to stand in his way or disturb him. I really wish I could be more self sufficient and not depend on him emotionally. I know it's very difficult to have to feel bad when you think your wife is unhappy with you not spending enough time with her.
This shows how immature you are. No wonder you are always asking people to leave singapore if they are not happy.Since you not happy with your husband you should leave him too. Don't affect his future. He will be able to find a much better, understanding and mature girl than you.