Originally posted by Fugazzi:I doubt very much that u would be allowed sole custody of the children - unless u can offer irrefutable evidence in court to prove that he has been an unfit FATHER to your chidren. Its an uphill climb so its better tthat u relent and accept it as the court deems so.
As for his infidelity - i do emphatize with u but its better to let go and reconcile to what is available to you now and see what can be worked out amicably lar.
I agreed with you that it is very hard for her to gain full custody of her children, all the more if she is not working now.
But I do not think she is a woman who will not try to settle things as amicably as possible with her husband for the sake of her children. That is probably one of the reasons why she forgave her husband back then - for the sake of her precious children.
The problem now lies with her husband. It seems that he is doing his "best" to ensure that he will provide as little as possible for painfulcat and her children. In this situation, I believe that it will be better for painfulcat to fight it out and gain every single cent possible off that unfaithful *******, for the sake of her children if not for the sake of herself.
One can make all the claims in court thru one's solicitor but at the end of it all the court decides lar. My suggestion is to exit gracefully as opposed to making it ugly.
Life is not simply dollars alone lar!
shitz man.
me fil sollie for u.
bt y was it ur fault?
& the apology ltr's for?
y S$1398 such an odd amt.
muz be gibin $$$ to her oso.
Thank you for all your encouragement.
I am now much calmer though I still cry sometimes. But my biggest encouragement is my 3 beautiful children. They are so so sweet that when I cried, they will snuggle beside me. My eldest will cry with me and ask me not to think anymore and that I have all of them with me. I am so encouraged by her words esp from a child at 4 years old.
I will not settle for anything unreasonable. I will think for the best for my children. It is of course their choice to see their father but at this moment I need him to see how the children are reacting to him.
I had asked my lawyer to engage a counsellor in to access the children to decide how long his access should be. I do not want the children to feel that I am also abandoning them just like their father. I do not want them to have shadow in their future life. Their wellbeing is my greatest concern now.
Forbiddensinner, Thanks, for your insights. Yes, i merely offered my opinions lar. It is not cast in stone. All I meant was that sometimes, being caught in who is rite/wrong is emotionally debilitating and though one may get what one wants ($$/ ....) but there are cost(s) that is invisible, and that is the 'psychological' cost and it wears away one. An amicable one for both of them would be 'nice' lar.
however, the present state of affairs is best dealt the 'way' that works for TS and 'rite'/'wrong' is for her to deal with lar.
She and even u are free to be u and ... no one is obliged to subscribe to my views n opinions.