My dad seen kissing the maid... Wat do i do?
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Hey everyone out there.....
I'm a little troubled and would like your kind feedback.
As you have guessed from my title, needless for me to say anything more....My maid has been with us for 3 years. She was 1st emplyed to look after my late grandma who is sick. Shortly after renewing her 2nd contract with us, my grandma passed on... Our family continued her service as she has shown lots of improvement in her work over the years.
Our family consist of my mum, my dad, we 3 siblings (all girls), myself & my older sister is divorcee with 1 kid (boy) each aged 8. my younger sister is doing her part time studies.
Things went very well for our family throughout the years with the maid. On Monday, 13th July, morning, when my younger sis woke up and entering the kitchen, she saw my dad kissing the maid. Shocked, she walked away back to her room. Shortly after, my maid went up to her, trying to clarify the incident. She mentioned that my dad is always reacting that way. She tried to push him away. She also persuade my sis not to let anyone in the family know about this.
My sis, 18 yrs old could not take the blow. She was traumatised by this incident. She told me about this on the 15th July, 2 days after the incident. I knew she was very upset.
I have always lived respecting my dad most. My dad was a conservative person. I was close to him but after learning this incident, i was very upset. I'm so afraid my mum will find out about this. I'm in a dilemma.
Pls advise what are steps i should do now.
P/S: My maid is very smart. She employed by my mum.
princess
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so the king is having fun with a maid?
haiz...
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it's best to first let MUM know about it .
Then handle it peacefully .
And cooly .
And sent the maid home .
But dad must be present , along with mum , don't do it behind anybody's back .
Open up , it's easier to handle that way .
MUST SENT THE VIRUS HOME .
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do you wanna approach your dad for it? See what he say about the whole incident. Thereafter go find out from the maid.
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ask your dad y the fuck he want to kiss the maid 4?
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and the truth MUST be revealed . then the ultimate solution .
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I think you should do something before any thing get out of hand.
At least now it is just kissing you know.I still think the best method is send the maid home.
I think you should let your dad know that you're aware about it, use the stern attitude.
And, if your dad woken up from his dreamland, He will send the maid home.
If he doesn't, fine. You should let your mom know about it by then.
I'll hope things will get better for you. :) -
obviously the 2 are in a bit of love .
For a father , a married man , and get caught pants down this way , the decision lies with MUM .
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Call maid agency and tell agent to recall maid away.
You complain to maid, maid complain to your daddy, you tell mother, things will get more complicated, you complain to father also hard and odd.
So call maid agency, give some hints and tell them recall maid if that is possible.
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Oh my....
Thanks everyone!I of cos wan to sent the VIRUS back home quickly... But like i mention, she's under my mum's employment. No matter what, i need my mum to sent her away... The problem is, the maid's been very good terms wif mum. Which means, i will need to let mum knew of the incident 1st before sending the maid back?
&.... i wrote in the title "KISS" but that does nt mean they dun make up. It's just that maybe they are not caught red handed yet.
I was intending to confront my dad 1st...
Buy hope you knw it's very very hard. I just cant find an excuse to open this topic. But i knew i have to talk to dad fast before things get worst.Till now, even the older sis is not aware of wat's happening.
& wat if my maid walk up to the police & report this to safe gaurd her future?
Oh my.... Am i over-reacting?
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Originally posted by Princess izah:
Oh my....
Thanks everyone!I of cos wan to sent the VIRUS back home quickly... But like i mention, she's under my mum's employment. No matter what, i need my mum to sent her away... The problem is, the maid's been very good terms wif mum. Which means, i will need to let mum knew of the incident 1st before sending the maid back?
&.... i wrote in the title "KISS" but that does nt mean they dun make up. It's just that maybe they are not caught red handed yet.
I was intending to confront my dad 1st...
Buy hope you knw it's very very hard. I just cant find an excuse to open this topic. But i knew i have to talk to dad fast before things get worst.Till now, even the older sis is not aware of wat's happening.
& wat if my maid walk up to the police & report this to safe gaurd her future?
Oh my.... Am i over-reacting?
Do it fast to talk to your dad.
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The problem is, the maid's been very good terms wif mum. Which means, i will need to let mum knew of the incident 1st before sending the maid back?
Why don't you speak to the maid agency?
They must have handled this type of situation before.
They must have a solution.
Or maybe you want to keep the matter away from outsiders?
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Seriously, i do not trust the agency...
I had a cousin who work for maid agency before and she did share how they handled cases.
Most just want to puch away problems.
In my case, i got the feeling that if things not handled properly, my dad can be charged!Of cos, no matter how much i'm upset with him now, i wouldn't want to see the family breaking. Hope to settle it in peace.
Unless, it's out of control, then i will have no choice but to choose the way you advice.
Thanks
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The maid is leveraging on the so-called good terms that she has struck with your mum; and as for your father - he probably succumbed to her ..... u know lar .... later she (the maid) would solicit for $$$$$$$$$ and ....
Nip it in the bud - otherwise the repercussions could be disastrous lar - my suggestion - talk to your mother and spring the suprise on the maid - that is, make preparations to send her back FIRST and just send her away, otherwise she (the maid) would pre-empt with a police report OR and turn matters to favor her lar when she senses that she is going to sent away.
U are not over- reacting but its a dicey affair lar.
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Unless, it's out of control, then i will have no choice but to choose the way you advice.
So how, are you going to put pressure on your maid now?
Find fault with her, criticise her, make life hell for her so she will leave on her own?
Are you going to play dirty and sow discord between your maid and your mother so as to split them apart?
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The wisest thing is to deal with this maid 'nicely', and cook up an excuse to send her away without giving out anything. Deal with the other matter of your father's amorous escapades later lar.
Agency, no lar, its going to be a messy affair and u seem to intuit the same as i do feel.
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Originally posted by Princess izah:
Of cos, no matter how much i'm upset with him now, i wouldn't want to see the family breaking. Hope to settle it in peace.
I am sorry to say this, but there is no way that you can settle this in total peace.
Be prepared, for a huge storm is coming your family's way, and your father is to be blamed ( regardless of whether the maid or him started it first ) for it.
Whether your family will be keep together in the end, depends on whether your mother will forgive your father or not.
The 1st thing to do now is to break the news to your mother. You may think that you shouldn't do it because it might hurt her, but if you keep quiet about it, and if she would to find out later, things will get even more out of hand.
Make sure your sister who witnessed the incident is present with you when you tell your mother the truth, and try to tell her at a time when both your father and maid are not around.
After that, console your mother with your sister, and get the family ready for the confrontation with the maid and your father.
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Maybe you should instigate an incident and use it as a pretext to send the maid away.
What are the differences between your mother and the maid?
You can work from there.
Make sure your sister who witnessed the incident is present with you when you tell your mother the truth, and try to tell her at a time when both your father and maid are not around.
Good idea. I think you should instigate an incident first then if your mother is hesitant, you can break the news to her.
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ya... thanks....
I believe things can be settle amicably...
Thanks everyone... i'm touched!
princess~
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Originally posted by Princess izah:
ya... thanks....
I believe things can be settle amicably...
Thanks everyone... i'm touched!
princess~
You are seriously too naive to think so.
You can give it a try, but odds are it won't go the way you wish for it to go.
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Princess izah,
I would think that in any problem, you should face the source right away - get a clarification from the horse's mouth(s) rightaway. Your Dad and the maid.
If you only hear one side of the story - from the mouth of a younger 18 yr old sis who saw and heard something from the maid, how can you pass judgement and tell your Mum? What if it was a misunderstanding? What if the maid is the manipulative one and your Dad is merely being silly on impulse? What if your sis didn't convey the right words to you? That's all hearsay. You could spawn a major misunderstanding. You did mention that the maid is a clever one.
Given that you are not a 3 yr old kid anymore (you mentioned ur age in Shoutbox) you and your elder sis r better qualified to confront the 2 than your 18 yr old sis. You r well entitled to ask for an answer from your Dad, cos it concerns your family and Mum especially.
Not saying that you should withhold anything from your Mum but its always important to get the basic facts clear if you are not the actual witness. Then proceed to let your parents sort it out themselves.
If it is an extra-marital affair, then your Dad needs to face up to the consequences of his actions. Including your Mum's fury. If he repents and is forgiven, he will do the right thing by sending the maid away. If not, really, can your mum accept? Surely a family breakup will ensue.
If your Mum and Dad are due for a separation and divorce, even though it is heart wrenching, then in this day and age, it is beyond you or anybody else in the family. They are 2 adults as well. You can only mediate and influence, you can't decide for them.
Your Dad will be well-advised to heed his mature daughter's warnings that he is in a potentially bad position:
1) He could be accused of sexual offences - molest / sexual harrassment / rape
2) I've seen maids entice and marry for money.
3) He might lose his family in the process.
All the best.
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I think the longer the maid stays in your house, the situation will get worse, the atmosphere will be poisoned, there will be mistrust.
So the important thing is to get rid of the maid quickly.
Maid's job is to work in household chores, not get engaged with dubious affairs.
If you blow up the matter while the maid is still there, it will get very complicated.
So better find a way to get rid of her quickly, the matter with your parents can be sorted out later.
That is my view.
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Originally posted by Princess izah:
Hey everyone out there.....
I'm a little troubled and would like your kind feedback.
As you have guessed from my title, needless for me to say anything more....My maid has been with us for 3 years. She was 1st emplyed to look after my late grandma who is sick. Shortly after renewing her 2nd contract with us, my grandma passed on... Our family continued her service as she has shown lots of improvement in her work over the years.
Our family consist of my mum, my dad, we 3 siblings (all girls), myself & my older sister is divorcee with 1 kid (boy) each aged 8. my younger sister is doing her part time studies.
Things went very well for our family throughout the years with the maid. On Monday, 13th July, morning, when my younger sis woke up and entering the kitchen, she saw my dad kissing the maid. Shocked, she walked away back to her room. Shortly after, my maid went up to her, trying to clarify the incident. She mentioned that my dad is always reacting that way. She tried to push him away. She also persuade my sis not to let anyone in the family know about this.
My sis, 18 yrs old could not take the blow. She was traumatised by this incident. She told me about this on the 15th July, 2 days after the incident. I knew she was very upset.
I have always lived respecting my dad most. My dad was a conservative person. I was close to him but after learning this incident, i was very upset. I'm so afraid my mum will find out about this. I'm in a dilemma.
Pls advise what are steps i should do now.
P/S: My maid is very smart. She employed by my mum.
princess
Tell mom about it and when you see that happen again, Shout loudly at your dad.
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same advice, let your mom handle the problem
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Let your mom handle this matter... better to send the maid home then allowing this drag on and destroy the family.