Family matters can be real pain in the neck. It is most of the time never ending stories.
me hardly got time to talk to my
family members
when i around they out
when they in me out
me never had home cook dinner
for 7 months
Originally posted by noahnoah:
me hardly got time to talk to my
family members
when i around they out
when they in me out
me never had home cook dinner
for 7 months
nvr mind , that means you busy man earning lots of $$
Go find a social worker to solve your family problems. Posting on this forum and heeding advices from both the good, the bad and the evil will merely worsen your situation.
Yikes, sibling rivalry is an ugly business.
VK,
What kind of "enrichment" are you expecting from your sis ?
So you are mad at her for not "enriching" you ?
I don't get it .
I have a sibling, but I don't ask him to "enrich" me.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Yikes, sibling rivalry is an ugly business.
VK,
What kind of "enrichment" are you expecting from your sis ?
So you are mad at her for not "enriching" you ?
I don't get it .
I have a sibling, but I don't ask him to "enrich" me.
Nope, I am not mad at her not enriching me. If I am still not wrong. Her idea of enriching involves $$$. It is understood that she 'enriches' her family by giving them $$$.
And that amount of $$$ usually is about only enough to cover a person's costs, but never a person's worth. Nor was there any actions that compensated to pay off other's peoples help. Not even a thank you ever pass out her mouth.
You know....the 'ai chee, ai pee & mien gong gum xia'
I am mad at her enriching people's life with advises which are about as useful as telling you shitting your pants is good manners. And when you do shit your pants, your sibling merely walk away from you and giggling?
Does your sibling stayed to help clean you up or at least try to find you a pair of pants to change into? Or simply throw you $0.10 cents to get to the toliet and tell you to get out of her presence?
~~~
Oh yah, I think I know why there is sibling rivalry.
She after all gave what $20+k to mummy. All her hard earned savings.
I gave $35k to mummy recently.
I do think it kinda unbalanced her a bit. It used to be her always trying to tell me about how she gave $$$ to mummy. But somehow, the last few months, she stop telling me about it.
Heck......that must be it! My sister is now jealous of me, because I am free and single, no need to pay this and that, no need to ask people for $$$ for this and that. And that I do not listen to her advising me NOT to shave my head for charity.
Its properly somethings that she cannot control. Therefore, she is picking fights & acting to her biatchy personality again. Which incidently is what the our mummy does best and its definitely genetic.
And for that matter. Did it confuse you about asking? Did I confuse you about asking my siblings to 'enrich' me?
So if I did not request to be 'enriched'. Did it justify people forcing their 'enrichment's on me?
Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
Nope, I am not mad at her not enriching me. If I am still not wrong. Her idea of enriching involves $$$. It is understood that she 'enriches' her family by giving them $$$.And that amount of $$$ usually is about only enough to cover a person's costs, but never a person's worth. Nor was there any actions that compensated to pay off other's peoples help. Not even a thank you ever pass out her mouth.
You know....the 'ai chee, ai pee & mien gong gum xia'
I am mad at her enriching people's life with advises which are about as useful as telling you shitting your pants is good manners. And when you do shit your pants, your sibling merely walk away from you and giggling?
Does your sibling stayed to help clean you up or at least try to find you a pair of pants to change into? Or simply throw you $0.10 cents to get to the toliet and tell you to get out of her presence?
~~~
Oh yah, I think I know why there is sibling rivalry.
She after all gave what $20+k to mummy. All her hard earned savings.
I gave $35k to mummy recently.
I do think it kinda unbalanced her a bit. It used to be her always trying to tell me about how she gave $$$ to mummy. But somehow, the last few months, she stop telling me about it.
Heck......that must be it! My sister is now jealous of me, because I am free and single, no need to pay this and that, no need to ask people for $$$ for this and that. And that I do not listen to her advising me NOT to shave my head for charity.
Its properly somethings that she cannot control. Therefore, she is picking fights & acting to her biatchy personality again. Which incidently is what the our mummy does best and its definitely genetic.
And for that matter. Did it confuse you about asking? Did I confuse you about asking my siblings to 'enrich' me?
So if I did not request to be 'enriched'. Did it justify people forcing their 'enrichment's on me?
Oh ok. So you are angry at her because she never say "thank you". correct ?
I don't quite get the shit in your pants part. If she ask you to shit in your pants, why you go and shit in your pants ?
I mean even if my own sibling ask me to jump down the ocean, I also won't be so stupid to do as he say , no ? Unless you are refering to something else lah.
You know ah.. siblings always want to give siblings "ideas" lah.. if you don like then don do lor... you get so mad with her just because she gives you ideas ? Like that too petty lah.
Why get mad over such trivial things ? Live you life and let her be lah.
if ur relationship with sibling aint good.... it ish easier just to stay out of each other path..... and just meet up on holidays and occassion.....
some say... blood is thicker then water.....
others.... just sharing of DNA.....
after all, do wat is needed to make life easier, not the other way rnd.... be it for them or oneself. selective hearing and speaking helps in a long run.
Truth are sometime too hurtful when spoken from someone related.... better to just tuck it away....
Even ugly sight can be delightful if u paint it with a colourful eye.....
Originally posted by dangerboi:Go find a social worker to solve your family problems. Posting on this forum and heeding advices from both the good, the bad and the evil will merely worsen your situation.
A social worker will need all the family members to sit down and talk it out with all of them.
Given that it is impossible for that to happen, a counselling forum ( Which sgforums obviously is not, with the hugh amount of crappy ideas given all the time ) is the next best thing available.
But currently, Viciouskitty is just letting some steam out, so let her be. I don't think she is in need of any counselling, as there is no way any words from us is going to help her solve her internal family strife.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Oh ok. So you are angry at her because she never say "thank you". correct ?
I don't quite get the shit in your pants part. If she ask you to shit in your pants, why you go and shit in your pants ?
I mean even if my own sibling ask me to jump down the ocean, I also won't be so stupid to do as he say , no ? Unless you are refering to something else lah.
You know ah.. siblings always want to give siblings "ideas" lah.. if you don like then don do lor... you get so mad with her just because she gives you ideas ? Like that too petty lah.
Why get mad over such trivial things ? Live you life and let her be lah.
No. I got mad at her for telling me not to shave my head for charity.
And since I do not comply. She used another family issue, to suggest I was emotional and unstable.
Thats why I got mad.
I've since pointed out to her, that whatever emotional issues she is trying to place on my head, isnt justified.
But me getting emotionally angry with her. I am telling everyone here, how justified I felt it is.
Get it?
Anyway, on the same subject of siblings.
I have a half sister, which I already promised some help should she really need to further her studies and the parents can't supply.
Is it reasonable? To standby some $$$ for her, for her further studies?
And where or who should I go, to administer those $$$ when I die?
Reading through all your rants in this thread, how can I not deduce that you are indeed emotionally unstable. All your comments are direct reflection of your own insecurities.
You keep thinking that your siblings are trying to compete with you in everything. You can choose to believe it or not, we are just trying to live a better life for ourselves. Yet you see all our achievements as a challenge to you.
Shutting you out of our life is our only defense against your abusive behavior whenever you don't get your way. You can only reap what you sow.
You can justify whatever anger you have against me. I have done nothing wrong to hurt you, other than disagreeing with what you had done to yourself and to others around you.
This will be my last post. For I see no purpose in washing my family's dirty laundry in this forum.
Originally posted by Jeanwoo:Reading through all your rants in this thread, how can I not deduce that you are indeed emotionally unstable. All your comments are direct reflection of your own insecurities.
You keep thinking that your siblings are trying to compete with you in everything. You can choose to believe it or not, we are just trying to live a better life for ourselves. Yet you see all our achievements as a challenge to you.
Shutting you out of our life is our only defense against your abusive behavior whenever you don't get your way. You can only reap what you sow.
You can justify whatever anger you have against me. I have done nothing wrong to hurt you, other than disagreeing with what you had done to yourself and to others around you.
This will be my last post. For I see no purpose in washing my family's dirty laundry in this forum.
Argh yes.....that I am competing to live your lifestyle?
So thats your explanation about how you abuse your family to get your way?
I dont know who has been more competitive with the: 'I am not estranged from the the family, she is' kinda statement.
And I think more then someone obviously missed the point about 'siblings rivalry' then.
I really would not mind my family cutting me out for my abusive & emotional state especially since those abusive & emotional state was so purely 'unprovoked'.
Dirty laundry? One only call it dirty laundry, when one has so many dirty stuff to hide. I've never felt anything about my family nor how my parents or siblings are ugly.
It always have been their behaviour is dirty. And I for one, does not think dirty laundry should not be washed, aired and clean up.
Or are you refering to the fact that your own dirty laundry should not be bought up and discussed by others other then yourself?
Originally posted by Jeanwoo:You can justify whatever anger you have against me. I have done nothing wrong to hurt you, other than disagreeing with what you had done to yourself and to others around you.
Like done what? Besides hinting here and there that a person has done wrong, is abusive, is emotionally unstable or is mentally unstable.
I so far never seen that you actually care to name the deeds. But hey, since you refused to 'air up dirty laundry'.
So the world will never know the deeds hor.
Quite clever, and it obviously works well for you. Unfortunately it does not for me. Because I do not fancy anymore, to be accused and be used as scrapegoat for another person's bad behaviour inlcuding yours, irrespective about what 'depression' you were still suffering from.
Was she traumatized when she was young?
Originally posted by Juliedified:Was she traumatized when she was young?
Probably, was she the only one ever in this world that has been traumatised, while the rest of the siblings live in heavenly innocence?
Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
Probably, was she the only one ever in this world that has been traumatised, while the rest of the siblings live in heavenly innocence?
viciouskitty, I respectfully agree that everyone of us is not having a good time either. However, one of both sides has to compromise. By compromising, it is not subjecting yourself under the mercy of your sibling, but to talk with her and find out what makes her that way.
My brother was an ass too. After a couple of physical fighting and yellings, we sat down and talked it through; apparently, he had issues which I never took notice of.
Correct, her sometimes unfathomable behaviour is the last straw but blood is thicker than water. One act of kindness might not amount to anything for her but the constant care and understanding might just mellow the hard edge in her.
Some people are not good with talking, while some resort to ways to get noticed. I do not think that she feels "really good" for trampling on the people who are close to her. And why the people who really matter to her, get hurted?
viciouskitty, I know it is hard on you. I agree that respect has to be earned and with the things going, it is daunting. But going ballistic with each other over certain, unsolved issues would only deepen the misunderstanding.
Take one step at a time. Be with her in spirit.
Stay strong. I hope you and sister would reconcile the differences, because in a family, there is no animosity; just sprinkle on it with some good ol' fashioned "care", "love", "understanding" and "tolerance".
Whatever happens, stay cool.
I hope the sisterly relationship would mend for both of you.
Friends cannot be there all the times, but family would always be there for you.
Good luck and please take care.
There isnt any misunderstanding.
I understand her and our mothers well enough. To the point of even predicting their actions before it happens.
And since my sister is happily married to USA. I can't see her building up her biatchiness.
But her general lines looking for fights are always peppered with: "You, you, you, you & you."
Whenever her messenger sentences starts with anything with 'You'. Its very obvious she is looking only to say her piece.
Or her general comments will be like: Are you drunk? You must be drunk. And the last reply to such a accusation was: No, its 2+pm here in Phuket Thailand, I am drunking mugs of Earl Grey Tea with honey.
I have never, cut off my family of siblings whenever they needed help. Most often, they are the ones that put pride and grudges in their way when they could have gotten help so easily.
And most times, even after I offered help, they accuse me of having ulterior motives or that I am acting damn ya ya, just because I 'think I am big papayah, because I know police or legal issues.'
It has often gotten to the point, where I won't even answer to them, just so they can have their rants, and I at the end of the day, I become their faults.
I can be loyal, but I wont stand for unfairness they will commit to other people just because I am loyally quiet to my own siblings.
Originally posted by viciouskitty74:<snippet>But her general lines looking for fights are always peppered with: "You, you, you, you & you."
Whenever her messenger sentences starts with anything with 'You'. Its very obvious she is looking only to say her piece.
Or her general comments will be like: Are you drunk? You must be drunk. And the last reply to such a accusation was: No, its 2+pm here in Phuket Thailand, I am drunking mugs of Earl Grey Tea with honey.
<snippet>
And most times, even after I offered help, they accuse me of having ulterior motives or that I am acting damn ya ya, just because I 'think I am big papayah, because I know police or legal issues.'
It has often gotten to the point, where I won't even answer to them, just so they can have their rants, and I at the end of the day, I become their faults.
I can be loyal, but I wont stand for unfairness they will commit to other people just because I am loyally quiet to my own siblings.
Forgive me if I edit the abovementioned to a compact post.
I highlighted the bold parts.
I am not good at interpreting thoughts but are there some minor things being overlooked?
1st highlighted part - she does not want to talk about what goes on in her own life and the only way she can divert the attention on her is by calling your name (amongst the others) out?
2nd highlighted part - erm, was there some competitiveness thing going on between you guys during teens?
3rd highlighted part - maybe adopting a more forthcoming approach would help? Being loyal is one thing but when there is a need to address an issue, taking the silent approach is likely to stifle honest dialogues.
I hope I am not sounding offensive.
1) Oh yah, even when she isnt suppose to be stressed, there somehow always seem to have some small bit of stuff that she has an excuse to blow her top about and calling it stress.
2) if there is competition, its not a competition I ever tot I can win.Looks I lose, cleverness I lose, ability to make friends I lose.
So if there is competition, its probably in her head.
3) Forthcoming approach dont work on her. She smells its far ahead. I swear, she has the nose of fox. When its someone's problem, she 'lovingly offers "advice"'.
When its her own problems, she will vebally attack you first, then steer everyone way clear of discussing her. Which at the end of the day, makes her the champion while everyone owes her for her 'advises & instructions'.
If things fail to explain for themselves, I hope that the relationship is repairable through times.
Things do not stay the same; that applies to an individual's thinking when circumstance changes.
I hope things would go well with you and your sister.
Have faith.
TC, i can relate to your topic and i understand exactly how you feel.
I'll make this short as i have to rush for my lunch.
Smiliar to your story, i have a sister that is almost like a carbon copy of yours, her attitude outside is 'tailored' to be perfect. but yet at home she's like a tyrant. She shows no respect at all to my silbings or my parents. She expects things to be done her way, and if she wants things from us she'll talk nicer and stuff.. makes me sick really.
Maybe it's like a social diease or sumthing, there is something mentally wrong with her mind, she keep thinking that my family is bias, she keep thinking that my parents treat their son better than their daughter.
*i have 2 sister 1 younger brother*
which isn't true. Anyway will elaborate more when i get back from lunch.
*Agreed silbing rivary isn't something that can kiss and make up in 1 day*
Hate is too strong a word.. but somewhere inbetween there.
Oh, my family is biased all right.
Definitely more for the youngest son then anything, Us elder sisters is dispensable or disposable, or in actual fact, good enough to provide $$$ but not good enough for anything else.
What I was pissed off about is, that my sister accused my mother of sowing discord amond the children so she can reap benefits for herself. A bit of the divide and conquer tactic.
What my sister however does, is the same thing, even though she hated our mother's tactics so much.
And yah, she acts the tyrant because she was the 'traumatised emotionally abused party' in the family. And she accuses others that is older or in a better authority of being controlling and abusive.
Tsk tsk tsk..jeanwoo, ye should be ashamed of yerself girl.
Such bitchiness is really bad for the economy.
Becareful ye will be condemned to hell for such unruly behavior.
Yer sista gave so much for the family, and yet ye comes here and maligned her in public forum.
Shame shame... ye be careful ya ? Heaven got eyes de !!
Originally posted by viciouskitty74:Oh, my family is biased all right.
Definitely more for the youngest son then anything, Us elder sisters is dispensable or disposable, or in actual fact, good enough to provide $$$ but not good enough for anything else.
What I was pissed off about is, that my sister accused my mother of sowing discord amond the children so she can reap benefits for herself. A bit of the divide and conquer tactic.
What my sister however does, is the same thing, even though she hated our mother's tactics so much.
And yah, she acts the tyrant because she was the 'traumatised emotionally abused party' in the family. And she accuses others that is older or in a better authority of being controlling and abusive.
VK, just ignore that bitch lah.
Saints like you are hard to come by. Since she is in USA, you don have to giv a hoot about her .. GOOD RIDDENCE !!!
Now , focus on your healin. Ya ?