I'm in a very sticky sitution now and this is serious so please give me your sincere advice about this.
I am 21 years old and freshly enrolled in a degree course where I saw this girl that I can't stop thinking about. But the problem is I am currently dating someone for quite a while and she is my first relationship. I feel guilty each time I think of the new girl but it is happening a lot now. I have a shy personality and at the same time a part of me tells me I should not try to pursue a new friendship with her that might lead to problems in the future. It has been three weeks till this date, but I have not tried to befriend her despite many encounters in and out of my school campus.
I have been thinking of the things that could possibly happen after I took my first move to know this girl. Then I thought about my gf that I have spent many moments together and known inside out. She is much older than me and in many ways helped me back then when I was in NS. We often live together during weekends and I have met her parents whom I thought were quite fond of me. I'm also extremely moved by the fact that she has made sacrifices by moving from her hometown in Malaysia to live with me here. On the other hand, I find that she gambles too much, can be quite assertive at times and likes her own space. Also, I have a feeling that my parents aren't too keen on me dating her.Having said all that, there is still no doubt that I love her.
From the bottom of my heart, I really would love to know the new girl for a start since we will probably be coursemates for the next couple of years. I also secretly wish she'd say that she is attached so we can have guilt free meetups and maybe get together to study. What's your take on this situation I'm facing?
Be honest . From the bottom of your heart, you do want to pursue that girl.
Her being your coursemate is just a lame excuse to get to know her. Because I am pretty certain there's plenty of students in your class and you won't get to know everyone of them.
The way you described your current relationship speak volumes. Your relationship with your current gf has become a chore. The reason why you are holding on to it, is merely a selfish act.
Your heart has strayed.
A distraction that girl has become. Distracting you from the one you claim to love, and the purpose of you attending the course.
why nowadays so many guys like older women????
I scratch my head, i don't understand
Originally posted by Fantagf:why nowadays so many guys like older women????
I scratch my head, i don't understand
It's a mommy thang.
I didn't choose the course because of the girl. In fact, I considered over a couple of other schools before finally deciding to take this one after discussing with my parents. But I have to say that I'm getting distracted.
Originally posted by MakeMineRock:I didn't choose the course because of the girl. In fact, I considered over a couple of other schools before finally deciding to take this one after discussing with my parents. But I have to say that I'm getting distracted.
Don't use love as an excuse to hold your gf back. For in love, your heart will not stray, nor will you find excuses to get to know another lady.
Let your gf find someone else who will not share his heart with more than one.
So you're saying that I'm not really in love with my gf afterall. I would say that I had really been madly in love with her when we first started going out. Am I a bad person because of the way I think?
Originally posted by MakeMineRock:So you're saying that I'm not really in love with my gf afterall. I would say that I had really been madly in love with her when we first started going out. Am I a bad person because of the way I think?
Sometimes love will die out over time. Do think whether you are loving her or are you still with her out of gratitude because she has helped you through NS etc?
Originally posted by MakeMineRock:So you're saying that I'm not really in love with my gf afterall. I would say that I had really been madly in love with her when we first started going out. Am I a bad person because of the way I think?
Put yourself in your gf shoes.
If she does the same to you. What will become of the relationship ?
Can you kiss her and love her , when you know she's really thinking about another guy ?
A cycle you have yourself.
A new relationship grows stale, and time to go find new love. Then the cycle starts all over again.
A good age you have, at 21. Life is full of opportunities, but do not have it at the expense of another. A woman has a shelf life, waste not her precious youth on someone as unworthy as you.
To pursue a fresh relationship, you need to free yourself of all burdens. Else you will only resent what you are unable to dislodge from your ankle.
uu dun even noe de new gal leh! wa piang! gif up sooo gd ting 4 sm1 hu dun even noe uu! fool!
this burger wanna have the best of both worlds
wanna have his piece of cake and eat it.
What a jerk!!!!
TS, u enjoy attempts to hurt gals ah?
Wake up la
Choose one.
I can fully understand how you have gotten the impression that I am trying to hurt my gf but here I'm just trying to set things straight with my messed up mind. I haven't done anything yet and don't plan to unless I'm very clear what is best.
Love does not do anything - love radiates, love shares , love does not think what is best.
Unless the other is used as a thing lar. Or its something else behind the facade of love?
Intuitively all i can surmise is its everything excepting Lovingness!
Most people go through several relationships before settling down.
You are just starting your journey to figure out which final destination best suits you.
Try out more relationships before you get married.
The way out of this shitty predicament of yours is to relate - ie. be friendly lar, that is without the desire to own, to possess - and enjoy the journey and forget about results. Of course, it presupposes that u are willing to risk and can handle uncertainty. Friendliness is a fragrance that emanates from within just as lovingness!
when its come to love
even the greatest king / president cause lose their logitical mind set
not to mention u just 21 years old
only thing is are u been fair to just yrself
or are u been fair the all parties ?????
the best thing to do is to be honest to yourself. bgf is all about trying and testing, and since you have found someone more suitable, you switch.
it is even worse if you hold on to your current relationship without any feelings and still thinking of that girl, unfair to all parties. better to move on
i think its just a crash laa. get over it. cfm new girl is a babe u dun even kw her fell so much for her already. u mentioned your gf has problems.. dun no need mention la all ppl got badpoints. i dig nose at home. fart at home. snatch food. watch porn pcc. then the new girl leh?
wake up wake up. women 6th sense very power one. your gf will detect it soon so either you quickly give up ur gf so do not hold back her precious youth(or she dosent have) or you ditch all your evil intensions on the new girl and love your gf deep deep.
If your girlfriend loves you too, how about a sit down and talk to each other about this issue? Show her that you're matured enough to take things the right way.
Originally posted by MakeMineRock:I'm in a very sticky sitution now and this is serious so please give me your sincere advice about this.
I am 21 years old and freshly enrolled in a degree course where I saw this girl that I can't stop thinking about. But the problem is I am currently dating someone for quite a while and she is my first relationship. I feel guilty each time I think of the new girl but it is happening a lot now. I have a shy personality and at the same time a part of me tells me I should not try to pursue a new friendship with her that might lead to problems in the future. It has been three weeks till this date, but I have not tried to befriend her despite many encounters in and out of my school campus.
I have been thinking of the things that could possibly happen after I took my first move to know this girl. Then I thought about my gf that I have spent many moments together and known inside out. She is much older than me and in many ways helped me back then when I was in NS. We often live together during weekends and I have met her parents whom I thought were quite fond of me. I'm also extremely moved by the fact that she has made sacrifices by moving from her hometown in Malaysia to live with me here. On the other hand, I find that she gambles too much, can be quite assertive at times and likes her own space. Also, I have a feeling that my parents aren't too keen on me dating her.Having said all that, there is still no doubt that I love her.
From the bottom of my heart, I really would love to know the new girl for a start since we will probably be coursemates for the next couple of years. I also secretly wish she'd say that she is attached so we can have guilt free meetups and maybe get together to study. What's your take on this situation I'm facing?
Every single person has their strengths and weaknesses. Gambling is a bad thing, but do not use that as an excuse to ditch your gf.
B/G relationships is more about commitment rather than just purely love. If you are not committed to a relationship, than there should be no reason for you to be in one.
Some of the forummers here said something along the line of "following your heart", but I will like to ask them, is that the right thing to do? That will only be lusting, and whenever you see a girl even more beautiful and attractive, your attention will be diverted towards that girl.
The reason why there are so many divorces and breakups nowadays is because the current generation only think about themselves and their hearts, everything else is not as important to them. The biggest question is, is it a torture or does it hurt to stay with your current half?
A relationship is about how much you can give, not how much you can receive. Many people seem to not realise this simple fact.
you are finding things of your gf that you didnt mind that much last time because you have a change of heart..making new friends is definitely alright..but make sure you know your true reason..lust, love or love of lust..new gals always attract guys..and guys will find the gal at home dull and boring..
be glad you are asking this qn now and not years down the road when you are married and worse with kids..then you get a new gals who loves you and you also love the new gall...den its damn jialat...
Originally posted by Fantagf:this burger wanna have the best of both worlds
wanna have his piece of cake and eat it.
What a jerk!!!!
TS, u enjoy attempts to hurt gals ah?
Wake up la
Choose one.
side note...the saying of you cant have you cake and eat it is totally illogical..why would i get a cake if i cant eat it in the first place??
Originally posted by domonkassyu:side note...the saying of you cant have you cake and eat it is totally illogical..why would i get a cake if i cant eat it in the first place??
A more appropriate way to put it will be wanting another piece of cake when he already has one in his hand.
Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:A more appropriate way to put it will be wanting another piece of cake when he already has one in his hand.
thats better... =)
well, maybe he got the wrong cake..or maybe he just wanna try that tasty looking new piece of ass..erm..cake ..guys are easily tempted..
make your choice well..or people ends up getting hurt..not just the ditched old gf..but the new gf will feel she hurt another gal.(unless shes a evil bitch)..and the guy will feel guilty for hurting the one he loved greatly making her cry when he promised so long ago that he will never make her cry.(unless hes an asshole)