I am adopted! Confused!
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me jealous for wat, me no jealous with boastful woman one
me happy person.
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they have show u love all this years, continue to love them as you were before
sometimes its fated to know something you shouldn't know isn't it? if it's not fated, you would not have remember that during 5 years old, someone called you radhiyah while you were playing. some things are just meant to be..
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I wonder if after the parents pass away will they actually leave any of their property to their adopted children or give all their property to their own real flesh and blood children only..
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Suffocate,
What an apt pseudonym - u would certainly suffocate those close to u lah, cos ur stance speaks volumes of how u perceive people lah.
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the truth is..your adoptive parents brought you up and showered you with more love than their own children.and im sure you love them just as much..letting them know what you know is good..assure them that no1 can replace them as your parents..they will know and understand that you just needed the truth to balance your mind..show them care and corncern like you usually do..
not related by blood doesnt mean anything less..you mentioned the name abdullah meaning children of Allah..does it not make every single human as children of Allah since he is the creator in your religion??does it not then make you related by blood in a diluted way?
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Originally posted by Suffocate:
I wonder if after the parents pass away will they actually leave any of their property to their adopted children or give all their property to their own real flesh and blood children only..
That will depend on the parents themselves, and it is on a case-to-case basis.
But your perspective is quite negative, I will have to say so.
Parents who love all their children will of course leave something for all of them, regardless of whether they are their biological children or not.
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Your foster mother is now your mother and not your 'fake' mother the woman who gave you away is your maternal mother.Still confused? What is more important is that you were well taken care of.You could look at it on the bright side that you have two instead of one mother.
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lol dun feel ashame that you are adopted. as time goes by, u'll slowly accept the fact. dun think too much about it, coz from what you say seems like your current family loves u a lot. perhaps u will want to talk to ur current family about it. dun sound like you're angry, just sound like you're more curious to find out more. ultimately ur current family will be afraid that you will take it very hard, thus, perhaps hiding the papers from u. have a cool and clear headed talk. eveyrthing will work out fine.
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The last I know of some muslim adoptions.
Is that properties and assets cannot be passed down to adopted children.
Can TS clarify that he and twins sister is brought up in Muslim household, or another religion household?
It is not uncommon for even adopted children to look like their adoptive parents. Unless its a matter of different race.
But there is always the connections, that even children will receive the legacy of their adoptive parents mannerism, morals, values, ethics and even responses.
I would say, chill down, talk to the parents to tell them you know and assure them that you still value their love and devotion to yourself and your sister. And urge them to sit down your sister with you, to tell you both the truth.
And prepare yourself to comfort your sister if she becomes as shocked and confused as you are.
Its always better to be asking for your parents medical history and prepare yourself for the future.
Looking back into the past, should never impede your future. If you let it becomes so, then its a matter of merely looking for excuses for bad behaviour.
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Aiyah, why all these confusion?. Biological parents delivered and that was that lah. Day in day out now, your present 'parents' or whatever u label them are in front of u lah - an absentee parent is no parent.
Perhaps, acknowledgement of the past is alrite but enslavement to the past and confusion for what? Its an endeavour in futility.
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Originally posted by huzane89:
its easy for you to say if your loved ones are blood related... read carefully before summarizing it all up...i got no advise.. just dun feel like letting ur this post pass by my eye...
but hey... u think blood related good ar... u noe how my brother, sister and myself yearn for a more caring father or at least a father who would not abuse us everyday.. i dun care a dam if u have such a good family yet u wanna noe the true.. should not even be in AA...
let me ask u.. u wan to live a nice life with a non blood related parents or a life when everyday u get beaten up, shouted at, thrown at.. robbed at.. by ur parents and yet they are blood related?
i dunno how does one feel when there found out that their parents are not blood related.. and i tong qin them (sympathise or empathise).. but hey not blood related can scold ppl cuz of it? u not blood related ppl fault?just like the 1st post.. they bring u up not good enough? i really thanks god that my mother is not like my father... she is not totally good.. but she is very caring and motherly like.. and wont abuse us.. so is this good enough to scold u?
ok done pouring out my feeling..
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Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
The last I know of some muslim adoptions.
Is that properties and assets cannot be passed down to adopted children.
Can TS clarify that he and twins sister is brought up in Muslim household, or another religion household?
It is not uncommon for even adopted children to look like their adoptive parents. Unless its a matter of different race.
But there is always the connections, that even children will receive the legacy of their adoptive parents mannerism, morals, values, ethics and even responses.
I would say, chill down, talk to the parents to tell them you know and assure them that you still value their love and devotion to yourself and your sister. And urge them to sit down your sister with you, to tell you both the truth.
And prepare yourself to comfort your sister if she becomes as shocked and confused as you are.
Its always better to be asking for your parents medical history and prepare yourself for the future.
Looking back into the past, should never impede your future. If you let it becomes so, then its a matter of merely looking for excuses for bad behaviour.
Quoted from TS : yup, she was the one who brought my attention to it. I am fortunate enought that i am not alone in this.
Her sister knows it already and is the one who told her.
And a VERY important thing to note here :
http://www.islam101.com/sociology/inheritance.htm
Quoted : It should be noted that only relatives with a legitimate blood relationship to the deceased are entitled to inherit from the deceased under Islamic law. Thus, illegitimate children according to Islamic law and adopted children have no part in inheritance. Incidentally legal adoption as practised in the west is forbidden in Islam.
TS, odds are you are a malaysian, as you said you live in JB and your parents went over to SG for a while. Did you know that if the whole thing blows up you could get your parents into trouble with the religious court?
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dear huzane89,
what you can do maybe is to:
- cool yourself down 1st
- since you're a muslim as what you've stated, ummm maybe praying will help as part of like stabilise your emotions. sometimes, it does help la.
- once ur emotionally stable, have a slow talk with your mum. i suggest u thank her and your adopted dad for bringing you in,giving you such love and dedication despite your discovery. pour out your love to them 1st and then ask the real question like-mak kalau ...your name... tanye 1 question,mak jangan ambil hati eh,...your name...masih sayang ayah and mak..(if you must, hug your mum as a saying of thank you-it doesn't hurt to do it.hehe.)
- Ask the real question...say that you just want honesty cuz you have the right to know the whole story. (be prepared and don't get too emotional if the story gets too hard for you.)
- About whether you wanna meet your real mum it's your own choice. even though your real mum may not raise you she's still your real mum who gave birth to u and despite that, love your adoptive parents as much because they have raised you from young til now.
- Lastly, all the best. and chillz ok? =) I really hope this helps. ~w'kumslm~
*oh yeah, be gentle(lembut) when u ask sensitive issues to ur parents.
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Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:
TS, odds are you are a malaysian, as you said you live in JB and your parents went over to SG for a while. Did you know that if the whole thing blows up you could get your parents into trouble with the religious court?
I am a born singaporean. My parents own a house in JB. My parents when back to singapore for work on monday and my sis & I stayed behind for a day for some matters. -
Hi huzane89,
Just wondering what will you do....
if you are 20 years old, no job ,no money, just gave birth to a pair of twins and still not married, your bf just ran away,,,
Will you keep the kids?
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Originally posted by DRC:
Hi huzane89,
Just wondering what will you do....
if you are 20 years old, no job ,no money, just gave birth to a pair of twins and still not married, your bf just ran away,,,
Will you keep the kids?
One thing that I am very grateful to my birth mother is that she gave me up for adoption. She could have abortion but she didnt. So, i am not really angry with anyone, I just want some answers such as medical history, the father, how my parents found her etc. -
My advice,
go ahead and find the truth or you will never find the peace that you want.
Is your right to know.
Just be brave and go ahead with your plans, just take it one step at a time.
1) Explain to your foster parents that you know the truth, and its your decison to seek the truth, and hope that they could understand your feelings.
2) No point hiding, you have my support.
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Tell the foster parents that you want to find out about your real parents because you want to acknowledge them so that in future when they are dead you can claim their property and become rich
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Some people are way to harsh here. The TS just want to get to know her blood-related mom, nothing much. So suggest to your foster parents that you want to look for her, but promise you wouldn't love them less even if you manage to get in touch with your 'real' mother.
I guess thats what the foster parents fear most ba..
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Hi Guys, thanks for the good advises.
I told my parents of the situation, and they told me the whole thing. Still very emotional in the house. Found out that my birth mum 'sold' me & sis to them at $17,000. She wanted to split my sis & I so she could get more money. Two babies to two couples.
Found out too that she came back with her mum & uncle to threaten my parents to give them some more money so that they wont take us away. She had the right till we turned one year old. So the whole family moved. and to buy some time, my parents gave her additional $5,000.
She's the type that goes in and out of prison for drug offences. I dont wanna meet someone like that, yet claim that she's my birth mother.
Again, thanks guys for the good advises.
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Now you know the truth, may you love your parents even more for the love, care and concern they had showered upon you. Let the past rest, and look forward to a better tomorrow that your adoptive parents had given you and altered a terrifying past if you had not been adopted.
Cheers!
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
me jealous for wat, me no jealous with boastful woman one
me happy person.
at least better den u quarrelsome woman
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Originally posted by xtreyier:
Regardless if you knew or not know the past, can you change or alter it in anyway?
What had happened, has happened, and nothing can change such facts. We cannot change one bit of yesterday, but we can still control what will happen tomorrow.
Your parents loved and took care of you yesterday, and will continue to love and take care of you tomorrow, as you too must love them and take care of them. The past is gone, severed like an umbilical cord between a mother and child at birth. It is the actions that a mother does that binds a child to her, and your present parents are the ties that bind and worthy of love and concern in return.
Be glad you had experience love and care growing up, sacrificed largely by your parents for no lives are every rosy daily, and not abandoned on streets or lived in parentless orphanage.
The past is gone, regardless of whom your biological parents ever were. Knowing or not knowing the truth will not alter your past one bit, but will only hinder your future with the sorrows, regrets and 'ifs' it brings.
Your concern is with those who love and cared for you in the past and into the future, which you must return in equal or more in measure for the kindness given.
I speak thru experience, for I too am an adopted child, and had never bothered to find out about my origins, for there is nothing I can do about it. But there is much I can do to those who love and took care of me over long periods, and gave me the best gift a human can ever hope for - unconditional pure love that only parents and child can share.
Cheers.
I pity your parents who give birth to you.
They should have just send you for abortion. A person like you living in this world only wastes our oxygen
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Originally posted by Malini.kittappa:
I pity your parents who give birth to you.
They should have just send you for abortion. A person like you living in this world only wastes our oxygen
You mean "went for abortion".
Side note : I am just correcting your statement, and I neither agree nor disagree with it.
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That xtreyier is a scumbag of the earth