I'm still angry
-
Though i'm not behaving like i'm mad, i know i'm still angry inside. After the "matter", i realize i have grown to become less patience and to be there for people. I guess i tried too hard previously which lead to an ultimate burnout. It was very sad to discover that the other party who you have been good to is not worth to your effort and not your time
I guess the "matter" has created much changes to me. It was both good and bad. At least i learnt from the lesson, who to trust and whom not to trust. In a bad way, i have grown less compassionate and become more indifference. I don't feel like caring for people anymore because the people that you were good to had created so much trouble for you, trash your kindness like rubbish and insult your own dignity.
I wrote this in the forum trying to find that goodness back inside. Where has the kind, simple and warm-heartedness for friends has gone to ? So tell me some good tips on how to grow out from it?
-
Originally posted by zAGrion:
Though i'm not behaving like i'm mad, i know i'm still angry inside. After the "matter", i realize i have grown to become less patience and to be there for people. I guess i tried too hard previously which lead to an ultimate burnout. It was very sad to discover that the other party who you have been good to is not worth to your effort and not your time
I guess the "matter" has created much changes to me. It was both good and bad. At least i learnt from the lesson, who to trust and whom not to trust. In a bad way, i have grown less compassionate and become more indifference. I don't feel like caring for people anymore because the people that you were good to had created so much trouble for you, trash your kindness like rubbish and insult your own dignity.
I wrote this in the forum trying to find that goodness back inside. Where has the kind, simple and warm-heartedness for friends has gone to ? So tell me some good tips on how to grow out from it?
That leads back to the question : You take these people as your friends, but do they take you as their friends?
For all you know ( or rather, not know ), they could possibly just take you as somebody whom they could make use of - a tool.
The first thing which you must learn before learning how to be kind and gracious again to others, is to learn to identify those who are out to make use of you and/or harm you.
Otherwise, no matter how many times you try to be kind towards others, you will find them unappreciative and guilty of stepping all over you instead. This in turn will only drive yourself to be sorrowful about how all your efforts have went to waste.
On a side note: Sadly, there are quite a number of forummers like you here on this forum.
-
Removed. Out of respect to TS.
-
Nobody likes to be treat like an idiot.
-
Originally posted by CannyOng:
Nobody likes to be treat like an idiot.
Removed. Out of respect to TS. -
Originally posted by zAGrion:
I wrote this in the forum trying to find that goodness back inside. Where has the kind, simple and warm-heartedness for friends has gone to ? So tell me some good tips on how to grow out from it?
When u feel the simple warm-heartedness from the true friends. Slowly u will find back the simple kind hearted and friendliness of yrself.Yr love and kind hearted are not cheap. Don't anyhow give out.
-
Originally posted by xtreyier:
Being treated as an idiot is only a self perception and self imposed upon oneself. Hold up your head high if you had indeed been a true friend but treated badly.Those few who know not of what happened, may laugh, but many others who know more will respect you even more for what you had suffered and will clamour for your true friendship, something precious in our stone cold world...
I take it as a scenario in a BGR situation.BF is a hardcore gambler, womanizer and worst , woman beater...
So the GF is having yr mentality of
'Being treated as an idiot is only a self perception and self imposed upon oneself. Hold up your head high if you had indeed been a true Girl friend but treated badly.'
Is that what u trying to preach?
-
Originally posted by CannyOng:
I take it as a scenario in a BGR situation.BF is a hardcore gambler, womanizer and worst , woman beater...
So the GF is having yr mentality of
'Being treated as an idiot is only a self perception and self imposed upon oneself. Hold up your head high if you had indeed been a true Girl friend but treated badly.'
Is that what u trying to preach?
Removed. Out of respect to TS.
-
Originally posted by xtreyier: Boy girl 'relationships' are not 'friendships', no?
And would one enjoy being treated with physical violence? Violence has no place for true friendship anyway.
One can always forgive, or overlook another's flaws, for no one amongst us mortals are perfect, and can try to help them to lead better lives, but if it is no reciprocated, worse still if it is treated with contempt despite numerous attempts and are cheated, then should not one walk away?
Walk away not with frustrations or despair, but with pride in one's heart for doing what others would have derided and laugh at over such noble attempts?
There is more to 'true friendships' than you may realize, and it is my fervant hope that you may know its true meaning one day and cherish that person or persons in your life. Seeking for perfection in others may be an el dorado illusive dream in our world...for none is a mirror image of our uncompromising self.
Hi, i thank you for your input
But i think you just glamify the idea. In reality and in my situation, it is rather different.
And i really detest people who hold their head so high that they fail to realize what is really going underneath.
-
Originally posted by zAGrion:
Hi, i thank you for your input
But i think you just glamify the idea. In reality and in my situation, it is rather different.
And i really detest people who hold their head so high that they fail to realize what is really going underneath.
See xtreyier! I believe u are a very young kid. -
Maybe you should consider the possibility that part of your character has already changed, and your intolerance towards people is the result of that character change?
You may want to consider talking to a friend about this, or try talking yourself through this situation?
If the anger gets worse, it'll affect your life and work, which you will in the end have to solve by attending anger management.
-
Removed. Out of respect to TS.
-
Originally posted by CannyOng:
See xtreyier! I believe u are a very young kid.Removed. Out of respect to TS.
-
Originally posted by xtreyier:
Does it matter if I am a very young kid or an old folk, if what i speak made sense to others but perhaps not comprehensible to your immatured mind?
Wah! Just that I don't agree to yr words and can be called immatured?So u are God, u call the shot. Everything u say must follow and is only correct?
Is that what u trying to convey?
-
Originally posted by superlibra:
Maybe you should consider the possibility that part of your character has already changed, and your intolerance towards people is the result of that character change?
You may want to consider talking to a friend about this, or try talking yourself through this situation?
If the anger gets worse, it'll affect your life and work, which you will in the end have to solve by attending anger management.
I think you are right. I have changed.
I have sought solace in friends but i don want them to be burden down by my problems again.
Somethings are just too intense for others to take.
Thanks
-
Originally posted by CannyOng:
Wah! Just that I don't agree to yr words and can be called immatured?So u are God, u call the shot. Everything u say must follow and is only correct?
Is that what u trying to convey?
Removed. Out of respect to TS.
-
Originally posted by xtreyier:
hmm...did i struck a nerve somewhere in your already limited intellect that you would start firing all cylinders without even reading what you had wrote, ending up only reflecting further mindless venom?
Perhaps you might want to start your own thread to tell your agony, and let others attempt to heal your childishness instead of hijacking this thread?
Attacking people mindless, childish and hijacking this thread just becos people don't agree to yr view?Good job! I rest my case for TS.
-
Hi to whoever is concerned,
this thread is not for intellectual debates. Don't hijack. tsk tsk.
-
Originally posted by zAGrion:
I think you are right. I have changed.
I have sought solace in friends but i don want them to be burden down by my problems again.
Somethings are just too intense for others to take.
Thanks
I believe there are many questions that you ask yourself, like "Why should I help?" or "Should I do this to help that person?", or any questions along this line..Talk through these questions to yourself using logic, because only logic can sift out your irrational questions and help answer the rational questions.
Btw I know the goodness in you hasn't died if you can ask yourself where to find it. You just need time to reconnect with it again.
-
No problem at all.
Still, my sincere hope that you may be able to find resolution, and peace.
Cheers
-
Originally posted by zAGrion:
Though i'm not behaving like i'm mad, i know i'm still angry inside. After the "matter", i realize i have grown to become less patience and to be there for people. I guess i tried too hard previously which lead to an ultimate burnout. It was very sad to discover that the other party who you have been good to is not worth to your effort and not your time
I guess the "matter" has created much changes to me. It was both good and bad. At least i learnt from the lesson, who to trust and whom not to trust. In a bad way, i have grown less compassionate and become more indifference. I don't feel like caring for people anymore because the people that you were good to had created so much trouble for you, trash your kindness like rubbish and insult your own dignity.
I wrote this in the forum trying to find that goodness back inside. Where has the kind, simple and warm-heartedness for friends has gone to ? So tell me some good tips on how to grow out from it?
When you give, do you expect a return ? If you do, then there's no need for the recipient to say a word of thanks. But awaits for the next opportunity to return back this "earned" favor. And to assume such transaction, the giver must give and make known the expectations that this is a gesture done for a purpose.
When you give, are you buying "trust" and "friendship" from the recipient ? If you do, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. For trust and true friendships cannot be BRIBED.
Trust is a result of a person's character. And friendship is developed through time, via the art of sharing among people.
Live your life vicariously through the happiness of another. That way, you will earn trust from your friends, but NOT the other way round.
-
Originally posted by jojobeach:
When you give, do you expect a return ? If you do, then there's no need for the recipient to say a word of thanks. But awaits for the next opportunity to return back this "earned" favor. And to assume such transaction, the giver must give and make known the expectations that this is a gesture done for a purpose.
When you give, are you buying "trust" and "friendship" from the recipient ? If you do, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. For trust and true friendships cannot be BRIBED.
Trust is a result of a person's character. And friendship is developed through time, via the art of sharing among people.
Live your life vicariously through the happiness of another. That way, you will earn trust from your friends, but NOT the other way round.
No i think you read my situation wrongly. thanks -
no offense to anyone, but from my personal observation, friends really not easy to find.
it's easy to find people to hang out with but most of these just want company and some see that you've value / of some use to them.
-
Originally posted by Nikar7:
no offense to anyone, but from my personal observation, friends really not easy to find.
it's easy to find people to hang out with but most of these just want company and some see that you've value / of some use to them.
Why will it be offensive when it is the truth?
People whom you can call friends by the mouth are easy to find, but those who are truly friends in the heart are really extremely rare.
-
The ultimate question... Why give when you are expecting people to give back?
When you give, give voluntary and not with expectation to get back.
Every relationship, there is always people giving lesser than the other party. When I say relationship, it doesn't fall in lovers but everyone. Friends, relative, colleagues, etc...
Do parents actually expect children to give back what they had given? If so, do you seriously think what parents had given, we can give back fully? No, it is expected that you would give voluntary to your next generation.
Just like if you give a stranger directions, the stranger is not gonna give you driections back...