When Love became hatred...........
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
I will divorce my cheating husband. PERIOD.
Spoken like someone with no experience in life. period.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
LOL !!!
She only mention she go to Perth for HOLIDAY.. she never mentioned she LIVE there. Can you PLEASE read and remember, instead of posting error messages here ?
You ever fight paternity case before ah ?
DNA test only one week. cost less than 1k. How long can a paternity suit drag ? You mean the lawyers must go to trial and fight their cases and wait for the judges to decide if the father is indeed the father or not ah ? LOL !!!!!
All the court need to establish paternity is a DNA test result. No need to fight until face green green between the two sides lawyers.
You must be very poor issit ? LOL !!!
So did you? Did you ever fight a paternity case before? Do you know whether TS can force the guy to do the test? Do you know the actual legal fees and court fees that would be involved? Do you know TS can afford to fight? All you know is that the test is less than 1k.So what if I am poor? What does it gotta do with this case?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
there you go again. READ her postings carefully lahhhhh.....
That man go around making slanderous remarks about her and the baby.
Even if she don't file paternity suit against that man.. she should go get the paternity test done , then sue that asshole for Slander.
She want to put his name on the baby's birth cert is already very lenient to him liao !!
Slander?And then after that what? The world gives her $$$ to feed and clothe her child? They give her a roof over her head and free from from financial and whichever committment?
She gets to be worshipped and given deference treatment whenever she and her child goes?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
there you go again. READ her postings carefully lahhhhh.....
That man go around making slanderous remarks about her and the baby.
Even if she don't file paternity suit against that man.. she should go get the paternity test done , then sue that asshole for Slander.
She want to put his name on the baby's birth cert is already very lenient to him liao !!
The reason being that her friends gossip about it... Thus the remarks from the guy. You think the guy would opening insult her when the news was not out in the open? That we do not know.
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Originally posted by caleb_chiang:
So did you? Did you ever fight a paternity case before? Do you know whether TS can force the guy to do the test? Do you know the actual legal fees and court fees that would be involved? Do you know TS can afford to fight? All you know is that the test is less than 1k.So what if I am poor? What does it gotta do with this case?
LOL... paternity cases are very common in many first world country. Just because you do not know doesn't means it doesn't exist lor.... why not you ask your family lawyer ?
So you the man Mr Caleb, thinks that a man need not acknowlege/support his own child as long as the child is borned from an extra marital affair ? And any support provided is out of good will and good conscience from the father.
A man who impregnate a woman outside his own marriage, but decides not to acknowledge his own child because he simply do not want to. Should not be required to do so by law ?
Wah.. the Sg men sure wants their cake and eat it too.
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/me pop in. To ALL: Please take a chill pill.
Cheers
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Dear Jojo,
I know your style. C'mon, this is AA here, not speaker's corner. It's all strictly volunteerily done, to help TS. I am sure the TS would welcome different opinions for consideration. There really is no need for snide remarks to others who are trying to help. Let us focus on the TS instead, the reason why we are volunteerily here, to offer insights and different perspective.
I sincerly apologise if you feel offended by my perceptions.
Dear TS,
As I had mentioned, what's done is done. No matter how we control our emotions, we are only human and not without flaws. The best thing is no longer to hanker after the past, but to plan for the future now, for you and your child.
I do sincerly admire your courage in bearing the child, giving sustenance amidst snide remarks proffered by others. It is not easy on you, nor will it be any easier for years to come, to take care of the child. He/she is innocent.
Some may feel that you are only doing so to gain better benefits from the irresponsible biological father, but there are more whom,like me, stand behind you for not giving up, but to continue to nurture the baby, a precious innocent life in you.
Should the man continue to be irresponsible, please do not give up. It is not the end. There are avenues for help, and most of all, there are men whom love children and will not fear to wed you, only that you choose wisely a man whom you can love and loves you and child in return.
There are such men, not perfect too, for none is and the journey of life is never smooth, but if true love is there, any obstacle or hurt can be overcomed, with patience and tenderness every step of the way.
Dependence on the bio father, if too costly, need not be continued. Your family and true friends will be the source of strength to the child. Don't give up. You are a precious life and your baby is even more so.
Good luck and be happy always. Take good care of yourself and the life your bear, now doubled, but not without joys.
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Originally posted by xtreyier:
Dear Jojo,
I know your style. C'mon, this is AA here, not speaker's corner. It's all strictly volunteerily done, to help TS. I am sure the TS would welcome different opinions for consideration. There really is no need for snide remarks to others who are trying to help. Let us focus on the TS instead, the reason why we are volunteerily here, to offer insights and different perspective.
I sincerly apologise if you feel offended by my perceptions.
Xtreyier, an apology is unwarranted.
I am but a woman of passion and feels strongly against people who cast stones on others because of their personal prejudices.
When TS posted her story, she seeks not arrows nor knives. Neither did she comes here to be told her child is a bastard (as lovingly labeled by aunt VK).
Aunt agony forums/columns everywhere is deemed as the emotional sanctuary/refuge for many distraught lives who has no where to turn to in reality.
Let a forumer post without fear of spiteful and narrow minded reprisals.
Else AA will lose her purpose in this world.
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Funny, the one who felt strongly against people who cast stones... actually cast the first stones...
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This morning I came into the forum and I saw all the communications in here. I actually agreed with Caleb that
�教人打仔 莫教人分妻
�拆�座庙 ��一桩婚 but at the same time I was think what Jojo comment on Paternity test will silence his protest. I did asked a few of my lawyer friends and indeed with court order I am able to make him go for a DNA test. He's married with 2 children and I'm here pregnant with his child. Confusing.
In my mind now is just get the paternity test done. Anything more than that did not come into my mind. I may now in Perth but eventually I will come back to Singapore as my family members are still here. The last conversations with him actually tore us apart. He claimed that his company is not doing very well and to him I'm just a shameless woman to make his life worst. He also said that he will post on his facebook to show me how loving they are.
My intentions are to get friends and relatives around us to know whose child am I carrying with. He's a local
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I understand that you wanted the test is to prove that you are not a loose woman like what that dude said and that I believe that the dude exactly said those words in denial of the responsibility when the gossip got from your friends to his wife.
I believe that nothing that you could do to force him write his name on the birthcert. However, to prove your innocence, you can ask him to do the test. Not for taking responsibility but for acknowledgement. But then again, I doubt he would do it.
A court order would only be issue if there is a case against him and thus, you would need to sue him for slander/maintenance on your child first which I would not recommend doing so.
I really feel for your situation. The indecisiveness of which path to chose. The way I see it, both path are tough. I hope that you are able to crave a new path for you and your child.
To pursue may led to more bitterness whereas not to, you might have to face the small gossips that your relatives and friends might have behind you.
The matter of fact is even if you clear things up... there would still be gossips...
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Originally posted by chipmuck:
This morning I came into the forum and I saw all the communications in here. I actually agreed with Caleb that
�教人打仔 莫教人分妻
�拆�座庙 ��一桩婚 but at the same time I was think what Jojo comment on Paternity test will silence his protest. I did asked a few of my lawyer friends and indeed with court order I am able to make him go for a DNA test. He's married with 2 children and I'm here pregnant with his child. Confusing.
In my mind now is just get the paternity test done. Anything more than that did not come into my mind. I may now in Perth but eventually I will come back to Singapore as my family members are still here. The last conversations with him actually tore us apart. He claimed that his company is not doing very well and to him I'm just a shameless woman to make his life worst. He also said that he will post on his facebook to show me how loving they are.
My intentions are to get friends and relatives around us to know whose child am I carrying with. He's a local
Chip, that sad sod is in gabra mode, that's why he keep insulting you.
Someone really needs to knock some sense into his head, refusing to take paternity test only shows that he is indeed guilty. Going around telling people you are a loose woman doesn't undo one bit of his wrong doings.
So what's the big deal, when he puts up a fake happy family pic in facebook when it's only purpose is to hurt you ? Simply pathetic.
Better he come to terms and accept that the baby is his own flesh and blood, instead of going around doing more stupid things to damage both you and his own name.
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This is your stance for Now 'My intentions are to get friends and relatives around us to know whose child am I carrying with' - .
Whatever your intentions may be - understand this - it is no longer in ur favour as his blatant belligerence and nonchalance to your predicament is so very palpable.
As for patenity tests and the other legal aspects - it is definitely possible - just be aware of the costs. The only recourse seems to be legal though an amicable approach would make a BIG difference.
Diplomacy, sadly, not workable.
As an aside - My suggestion - and that is,(if u can) give up this game of rite/wrong, my mistake/your mistake ..... this psycho/melo-drama; and first be loving and kind to yourself . If not, at the end of it all the pyschological hangover is going to eclipse n permeate all aspects of your living.
Be - (if u can) a little foolish, Be (if u can) a little wise (to avoid past mistakes) and that will do.
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Originally posted by mancha:
Put the hate and anger aside.
Negotiate coldly, business like, for the chid.
Get a third party, to do that for you.
A friend who is capable, or a lawyer.
You can't do this yourself, you would get nowhere.
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A simple 3 min talk to the lawyer will set you back by $50. No big deal.
One court appearance alone will set you back by $10,000. Will need more than a few court appearance in a suit case.
IF it was me, I have the money to hire the best lawyers from Drew and Napier to challenge you, or drag your name in mud while maintaining my spotless cleanliness pious innocence.
Even if the ruling is not in my favour, I still have money, loads of it to appeal. Do you have the sums to challenge me? By all means, go ahead. I will not even need to appear in person in court.
Money - to hire the best lawyers - will keep me clean and fool others into believing your are nothing more than an opportunistic cheap slut attempting to earn material gains by duping me once into having sex with you while drunk should the DNA proves true.
If the DNA fails, I walk away exonerated, and seek out my next victims, more carefully, while you are in debt to the tune of thousands of dollars to relatives, friends and lawyers, if not hundred of thousands which could have been better used for yourself and child.
But fortunately, that's not me. At times like these, it makes me wonder if humanity's legal system had actually progressed our society or regress it instead, where the guilty walks free and the innocent hurt....
Consider the sums carefully first. If you need to fight, it's your right, but do take time out to consider risk management options. One will win and the other will have to lose in a suit, what if you are the one to lose? Would you gain in any way? Justice or pragmatism should rule? Only you alone can answer...
As a man, understanding the need for love and sex, all I can say that most of us men have a low regard for irresponsible assholes such as your bf even in this liberal age. They are seldom well regarded for high positions within the councils of men, let alone society.
Rest assured retribution will come, in one form or another, where lives are concerned, more so innocent ones. Make no mistake, Heaven have eyes. That time will come and mercy be upon his soul.....
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Yawnzzz.......
I hope your lawyer friends are going to waive your legal fees when they do initiate the legal actions to make him go for the paternity test.
Other then that, I think most of us already typed enough.