How should I start ...
I'm a guy, roamed the earth for 2 decades just any other human being. Had been in sgforums for quite sometimes, but this is the first time I am sharing my personal agony, cause I seriously have no ideas on how to deal with it....
The last time I fell was during my secondary school days, when I miserably took 3 three years to gather my courage to confess to her about my feeling. Furthermore, it's only during the period when we are close to graduate and walk a seperate path, that I manage to buck up myself and confess to her. Although, I succeed but this relationship does not last. I gave up, due to my foolishness of thinking about those contradiction that it will be hard to be together when we walked a seperate path. Back then , I hated that feeling and told myself that will be the first and the last time.
Not long after I enter my poly route, luck was on me (I guess) , a girl actually fall for me and confessed her feeling for me . At first, I was totally against it , but somehow I gave in and gave it a try. I just couldn't get back the same feeling and this result in me giving up again....
I was lost on the track of so called "love". What's love ? I dont need one...? Sometimes, when one said that they are finding for their other half due to the emptiness in their heart? Emptiness ...? I wonder how's the feeling like .... Perhaps, I am just not ready or either not old enough to understand such complex stuff.
Time really flies, I can still rememeber the feeling of the days when I actually sent my "first" home at night after a day of hard work ,revising. I grew up understanding that everything was in the past, it's no longer happening. It's not fair how you were gone and how fast you are moving on, while I am still trap in the past. I grew , grew up of it...
Recently, I found my heartbeat for this girl. She was older then me by three.She stay in Singapore but her homeland is in malaysia. Not possible to be together? Ha, I guess so. The more I get to know her, the deeper I fell... Knowing that she's single, I sent her flowers and a portrait of her to her workplace without leaving my name behind through delivery. I knew she liked them alot as she took a photo of it and set it on her msn display pic. Somehow, I really wonder if she knew it was sent by me....
Can somebody tell how can I tell if she's really interested in me ? I tried to chat with her frequently on msn. She will replied but she never initiated a chat with me for even once. Does it means that she's not interested ? Or she actually felt for the guy that sent her the flowers.
Perhaps, I should just give up ......
If I should go, should I go close to you
How would you think , I have no courage...
The reason is that I, being a fool, is only watching you from a distance.
Afraid of the wait, afraid of ur heart turning my feeling down, and so we feel the awkwardness.
I am a fool who can't say I love you....
With courage, Gf loves like crazy.
No courage somehow suceed, your character will make them run away sooner or later.
If I ever succeed , I will be the proudest guys , what's make you think that I will continue to stay without courage.... HAHA.
The problem is I got no courage...
Infatuation is killing me , How to stop this feeling.
Originally posted by VL:How should I start ...
I'm a guy, roamed the earth for 2 decades just any other human being. Had been in sgforums for quite sometimes, but this is the first time I am sharing my personal agony, cause I seriously have no ideas on how to deal with it....
The last time I fell was during my secondary school days, when I miserably took 3 three years to gather my courage to confess to her about my feeling. Furthermore, it's only during the period when we are close to graduate and walk a seperate path, that I manage to buck up myself and confess to her. Although, I succeed but this relationship does not last. I gave up, due to my foolishness of thinking about those contradiction that it will be hard to be together when we walked a seperate path. Back then , I hated that feeling and told myself that will be the first and the last time.
Not long after I enter my poly route, luck was on me (I guess) , a girl actually fall for me and confessed her feeling for me . At first, I was totally against it , but somehow I gave in and gave it a try. I just couldn't get back the same feeling and this result in me giving up again....
I was lost on the track of so called "love". What's love ? I dont need one...? Sometimes, when one said that they are finding for their other half due to the emptiness in their heart? Emptiness ...? I wonder how's the feeling like .... Perhaps, I am just not ready or either not old enough to understand such complex stuff.
Time really flies, I can still rememeber the feeling of the days when I actually sent my "first" home at night after a day of hard work ,revising. I grew up understanding that everything was in the past, it's no longer happening. It's not fair how you were gone and how fast you are moving on, while I am still trap in the past. I grew , grew up of it...
Recently, I found my heartbeat for this girl. She was older then me by three.She stay in Singapore but her homeland is in malaysia. Not possible to be together? Ha, I guess so. The more I get to know her, the deeper I fell... Knowing that she's single, I sent her flowers and a portrait of her to her workplace without leaving my name behind through delivery. I knew she liked them alot as she took a photo of it and set it on her msn display pic. Somehow, I really wonder if she knew it was sent by me....
Can somebody tell how can I tell if she's really interested in me ? I tried to chat with her frequently on msn. She will replied but she never initiated a chat with me for even once. Does it means that she's not interested ? Or she actually felt for the guy that sent her the flowers.
Perhaps, I should just give up ......
If I should go, should I go close to you
How would you think , I have no courage...
The reason is that I, being a fool, is only watching you from a distance.
Afraid of the wait, afraid of ur heart turning my feeling down, and so we feel the awkwardness.
I am a fool who can't say I love you....
Good gals usually are shy to initiate. So TS don't worry. Most important is how she chat with. Do u always have a fruitful chat with each other?
For y case, is a bit strange. U have 2 r/s before but u still cannot muster enough courage. Don't give yrself so much pressure by confessing it. Instead give both of u time to cultivate love and it will be more easier for u to spell out the word that u love her easier.
Try asking her out, if she accept. It means that is a good sign. Don't tell her so soon u are the one sending out flower.Even she ask u, tell her u send her the flower becos u see her quite moody and just trying to cheer her up.. Enjoy the courtship and don't kill it so fast first.
Originally posted by CannyOng:
Good gals usually are shy to initiate. So TS don't worry. Most important is how she chat with. Do u always have a fruitful chat with each other?For y case, is a bit strange. U have 2 r/s before but u still cannot muster enough courage. Don't give yrself so much pressure by confessing it. Instead give both of u time to cultivate love and it will be more easier for u to spell out the word that u love her easier.
Try asking her out, if she accept. It means that is a good sign. Don't tell her so soon u are the one sending out flower.Even she ask u, tell her u send her the flower becos u see her quite moody and just trying to cheer her up.. Enjoy the courtship and don't kill it so fast first.
Sometimes , our chat will last hours.
Sometimes, it's just a hi and bye ... asking how's the day....
Therefore, I'm confused
Recently, I tried to wait for her to initiated the chat. Quit chatting with her on msn .
Perhaps, she only treat me as a friend ...
Afraid of the wait,
afraid of the turning down,
afraid of the awkwardness....
I can't do it =(
What if there's someone she likes....
Although, she doesn't have BF , maybe there's someone she likes...
VL... nv know until u try... U wouldn't wanna wait too late then start regreting then...
Leave a gift without a name ? How foolish.
Perhaps in her heart.. she thought it's the other guy she has feelings for.
You are afraid of rejection. Get over it, there's plenty more down the road.
Should you give up ? Certainly. Girls don't like cowards.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Leave a gift without a name ? How foolish.
Perhaps in her heart.. she thought it's the other guy she has feelings for.
You are afraid of rejection. Get over it, there's plenty more down the road.
Should you give up ? Certainly. Girls don't like cowards.
Thank you.
Well said.
Was looking for such points to give up on her totally.
Originally posted by VL:Thank you.
Well said.
Was looking for such points to give up on her totally.
Give up on her ?
With your mentality, you should just give up on girls.
Infatuatiion or love?
The mind can't tell the difference.
Both will have the same motivational force.
The opposite of love is fear, and not hate as commonly perceived.
Rule of the thumb, love move you to the positive, fear to the negative.
Love make you yearn for the girl, fear stops you.
Ultimately its you, that decides what the outcome will be.
Don't fill you mind with "cannot lah", fill it with "can, everything can do"
The story of Mr Give up.
"
The last time I fell was during my secondary school days, when I miserably took 3 three years to gather my courage to confess to her about my feeling. Furthermore, it's only during the period when we are close to graduate and walk a seperate path, that I manage to buck up myself and confess to her. Although, I succeed but this relationship does not last. I gave up, due to my foolishness of thinking about those contradiction that it will be hard to be together when we walked a seperate path. Back then , I hated that feeling and told myself that will be the first and the last time.
Not long after I enter my poly route, luck was on me (I guess) , a girl actually fall for me and confessed her feeling for me . At first, I was totally against it , but somehow I gave in and gave it a try. I just couldn't get back the same feeling and this result in me giving up again....
I was lost on the track of so called "love". What's love ? I dont need one...? Sometimes, when one said that they are finding for their other half due to the emptiness in their heart? Emptiness ...? I wonder how's the feeling like .... Perhaps, I am just not ready or either not old enough to understand such complex stuff.
Time really flies, I can still rememeber the feeling of the days when I actually sent my "first" home at night after a day of hard work ,revising. I grew up understanding that everything was in the past, it's no longer happening. It's not fair how you were gone and how fast you are moving on, while I am still trap in the past. I grew , grew up of it...
Recently, I found my heartbeat for this girl. She was older then me by three.She stay in Singapore but her homeland is in malaysia. Not possible to be together? Ha, I guess so. The more I get to know her, the deeper I fell... Knowing that she's single, I sent her flowers and a portrait of her to her workplace without leaving my name behind through delivery. I knew she liked them alot as she took a photo of it and set it on her msn display pic. Somehow, I really wonder if she knew it was sent by me....
Can somebody tell how can I tell if she's really interested in me ? I tried to chat with her frequently on msn. She will replied but she never initiated a chat with me for even once. Does it means that she's not interested ? Or she actually felt for the guy that sent her the flowers.
Perhaps, I should just give up ......"
Originally posted by jojobeach:The story of Mr Give up.
"
The last time I fell was during my secondary school days, when I miserably took 3 three years to gather my courage to confess to her about my feeling. Furthermore, it's only during the period when we are close to graduate and walk a seperate path, that I manage to buck up myself and confess to her. Although, I succeed but this relationship does not last. I gave up, due to my foolishness of thinking about those contradiction that it will be hard to be together when we walked a seperate path. Back then , I hated that feeling and told myself that will be the first and the last time.
Not long after I enter my poly route, luck was on me (I guess) , a girl actually fall for me and confessed her feeling for me . At first, I was totally against it , but somehow I gave in and gave it a try. I just couldn't get back the same feeling and this result in me giving up again....
I was lost on the track of so called "love". What's love ? I dont need one...? Sometimes, when one said that they are finding for their other half due to the emptiness in their heart? Emptiness ...? I wonder how's the feeling like .... Perhaps, I am just not ready or either not old enough to understand such complex stuff.
Time really flies, I can still rememeber the feeling of the days when I actually sent my "first" home at night after a day of hard work ,revising. I grew up understanding that everything was in the past, it's no longer happening. It's not fair how you were gone and how fast you are moving on, while I am still trap in the past. I grew , grew up of it...
Recently, I found my heartbeat for this girl. She was older then me by three.She stay in Singapore but her homeland is in malaysia. Not possible to be together? Ha, I guess so. The more I get to know her, the deeper I fell... Knowing that she's single, I sent her flowers and a portrait of her to her workplace without leaving my name behind through delivery. I knew she liked them alot as she took a photo of it and set it on her msn display pic. Somehow, I really wonder if she knew it was sent by me....
Can somebody tell how can I tell if she's really interested in me ? I tried to chat with her frequently on msn. She will replied but she never initiated a chat with me for even once. Does it means that she's not interested ? Or she actually felt for the guy that sent her the flowers.
Perhaps, I should just give up ......"
I dont know what's ur main intention behind all those replies you post.
But one thing I knew was that reverse psychology doesn't work on me.
I took psychology as my elective in school.
Thank you .
Originally posted by VL:I dont know what's ur main intention behind all those replies you post.
But one thing I knew was that reverse psychology doesn't work on me.
I took psychology as my elective in school.
Thank you .
LOL..
Does Dr. Phil has his own shrink ?
But I'm startin to wonder which quack school ya went ter last summer.
in a relationship love mus be mutal then can progress
Infatuation is all well and dandy, if that encourage you to be more then what you are, in the good sense.
I do not see the problem of her being Malaysian and Singapore is any issue.
I do however see the problem of you chatting her up, sending her flowers without telling her who it is from.
For all she cares, she imagines that the flowers was from someone else that she might have feelings for, and what you have done is only going to help her cement her feelings for the other person instead of yourself.
And since you classified your infatuation so clinically. Does it mean your elective is half complete and didnt teach you to deal with it?
She stay in Singapore but her homeland is in malaysia.
If she intends to stay in Singapore permanently, then shouldn't be an issue. I know quite a couple of Malaysian women with Singaporean boyfriends. Most of them also intend to settle down here, and maybe retire in Malaysia.
Originally posted by viciouskitty74:Infatuation is all well and dandy, if that encourage you to be more then what you are, in the good sense.
I do not see the problem of her being Malaysian and Singapore is any issue.
I do however see the problem of you chatting her up, sending her flowers without telling her who it is from.
For all she cares, she imagines that the flowers was from someone else that she might have feelings for, and what you have done is only going to help her cement her feelings for the other person instead of yourself.
And since you classified your infatuation so clinically. Does it mean your elective is half complete and didnt teach you to deal with it?
Ok, I see ur point...
That's only an elective, at elementary level. Only basic aspects are taught .
Originally posted by jojobeach:LOL..
Does Dr. Phil has his own shrink ?
But I'm startin to wonder which quack school ya went ter last summer.
I dont mind if you can choose to disrespect or look down on a miserable guy like me, but at least show some respect to the schools.
By terming the school quack , makes me doubt on ur maturity level to handle my problem.
You wonder which quack school I went to....
But, from here I understand why you failed to learn how to keep ot the topic from ur school.
Ignorance is a true bliss, but it can bring you to no where.
*Snort* the day when anyone here can be polite, intelligient and think of the same level, is the day I strike the American dunno how many hundred million USD Lotto.
Or at least the day when we all glare at the incoming meteorite rock that is about to slam into earth and bring the whole planet into non existence.
I aint the most polite guy here, nor the politically correct fella around, but i do know that when someone post here on AA, it is only borne out of a need, to sort out confusions. There really is no need to hurt anyone, TS or those who offer their views, right or wrong. This aint speakers corner. There is no need to drive the knife deeper, which sometimes, could be literal than figurative.
We ourselves do not have the answers, no one really does, for none of us are lofty immortals, fully detached from the mortal emotion filled world, capable of clarity that would be inhuman.
Some will try reverse psychology. Some will try other methods, But in the end, it is to help a stranger, sharing a perspective which either one has experienced or taught. I doubt if posters in AA meant any harm, save the odd trolls that are regularly recognised and ignored instantly, for they bear no serious food for thought.
I too, may be deemed a troll, for my perspectives are often at odds at many, but i mean no one any harm, only sharing my perspective, and often up to the reader to judge or discard...
As an answer to TS, i have no solutions, except that you must ask yourself how deep do you treasure and cherish her. If you truly feels she is the one for you, for the rest of your life, then you must somehow pluck up courage to confront her and share your feelings with her.
Your fears are common, just like all of us humans, and that is rejection - the rush of blood into your head and face, the self perceived humiliation, the laughter you sense others and worse, her will utter in your face for being too revealing.
But know what you really want. You are at the turning point of your life. Either you lose something good, which you claim and believe so, or you may end up building a lasting relationship with her.
Once a person is at the end of the road, there is turning back. You really have nothing more to lose, for to walk away, you will lose her, but if she reject you, what would you have lost? Pride? How much is that worth? Reputation? What had she destroyed that you cannot rebuild again, if there is any need in the first place.
SO, what have you to lose by sharing your true feelings, if you are sincere about her?
Originally posted by VL:Thank you.
Well said.
Was looking for such points to give up on her totally.
Are you trying to overcome your fear of confession or just looking for support from forumers so that you can give up on her? Happiness is in your own hands, dude. Go after her like how a guy should! So what if she rejects you? That's just a learning experience for you. I'm sure you know this - You won't know the outcome unless you try. Let me know how it turns out. All the best!
Originally posted by VL:How should I start ...
I'm a guy, roamed the earth for 2 decades just any other human being. Had been in sgforums for quite sometimes, but this is the first time I am sharing my personal agony, cause I seriously have no ideas on how to deal with it....
The last time I fell was during my secondary school days, when I miserably took 3 three years to gather my courage to confess to her about my feeling. Furthermore, it's only during the period when we are close to graduate and walk a seperate path, that I manage to buck up myself and confess to her. Although, I succeed but this relationship does not last. I gave up, due to my foolishness of thinking about those contradiction that it will be hard to be together when we walked a seperate path. Back then , I hated that feeling and told myself that will be the first and the last time.
Not long after I enter my poly route, luck was on me (I guess) , a girl actually fall for me and confessed her feeling for me . At first, I was totally against it , but somehow I gave in and gave it a try. I just couldn't get back the same feeling and this result in me giving up again....
I was lost on the track of so called "love". What's love ? I dont need one...? Sometimes, when one said that they are finding for their other half due to the emptiness in their heart? Emptiness ...? I wonder how's the feeling like .... Perhaps, I am just not ready or either not old enough to understand such complex stuff.
Time really flies, I can still rememeber the feeling of the days when I actually sent my "first" home at night after a day of hard work ,revising. I grew up understanding that everything was in the past, it's no longer happening. It's not fair how you were gone and how fast you are moving on, while I am still trap in the past. I grew , grew up of it...
Recently, I found my heartbeat for this girl. She was older then me by three.She stay in Singapore but her homeland is in malaysia. Not possible to be together? Ha, I guess so. The more I get to know her, the deeper I fell... Knowing that she's single, I sent her flowers and a portrait of her to her workplace without leaving my name behind through delivery. I knew she liked them alot as she took a photo of it and set it on her msn display pic. Somehow, I really wonder if she knew it was sent by me....
Can somebody tell how can I tell if she's really interested in me ? I tried to chat with her frequently on msn. She will replied but she never initiated a chat with me for even once. Does it means that she's not interested ? Or she actually felt for the guy that sent her the flowers.
Perhaps, I should just give up ......
If I should go, should I go close to you
How would you think , I have no courage...
The reason is that I, being a fool, is only watching you from a distance.
Afraid of the wait, afraid of ur heart turning my feeling down, and so we feel the awkwardness.
I am a fool who can't say I love you....
Not being a wet blanket or whatever you would call it, but do be grateful.
Less fortunate (literally) people than you have gotten themselves into such "limerence" or "infatuation" situations earlier in life, say about early into their adolescence period? Disrupting their studies, O' Levels, A' Levels etc.
And some teenagers have had really obsessive infatuations at a very young age, that they even start to cut themselves and attempt suicide because they simply were too innocent for one-sided relationships to being with.
But since you aren't just one self-harming teenage kid in secondary one, I guess you just have to go with the flow of life. You learn from you mistakes, and there is no guidebook like
"Dummies guide to stupid infatuations and what silly things not to do even though you are going to do them anyway"
Good luck bro.
i at last day of graduation want to jio my teacher when she is in office. I took photo of me and her together blah, i wanted to go deeper n kiss her but there got another male teacher watching spoil my plan.
Then i never got courage or another good excuse to see her privately again and regret the rest of my life. Would be gd to plan in advance and make sure such annoying obstacles are removed before u go in for the killing blow
Just do it .. Lol
Originally posted by jojobeach:LOL..
Does Dr. Phil has his own shrink ?
But I'm startin to wonder which quack school ya went ter last summer.
ha ha cut this guy some slack lah.....