feeling totally screwed up
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my so-called gal now says that she felt too neglected and i am too possessive hence she decided not to continue this r/s anymore. she had initiated many break ups and patching back now she more affirmed that this will have no good ending..
sianz.... i did watever i can liao to reassure her that i am doing it for us.. now overseas studying and taking all this crap... really shitz.. and i really dunno wats she's thinking.... no mood for anything but feel like 'slapping' her awake.
she's right now into thise wait and see kind of attitude... and i dunno wats the underlining issue. if there's one??..
those who read my previous posts would probably know better.. -
oh geez long distance relationship..... right?
i don't believe in them. hope yours will work out, unlike mine in the past. -
yup LDR...really screwed up now... sometimes i think she's too playful and needs some maturing .. ironically she always think i am the childish one.
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now i'm even comtemplating to drop everything here and move back to study in sg... i hated her for her stupid actions but she seems so important to me that i cant even do what i initially said i would do to heck care about her...
mind very confused dunno where to follow.. my heart or logic...
hate to be put in the spot... wish i was in her shoes..
(my opinion!) to be with a guy like me whos always away or look for someone new so he can be with her when she needs him.
felt so worthless and hurt by her decision. -
oh man.. looks like i'm gonna have to spew out my views on LDRs...
to me an LDR is something caused by a lack of power over our circumstances. let me eloborate:
When I was going thru an LDR, i was in australia, she was in singapore. I was studying, so was she. While she contemplated coming over to join me in uni, it was impossible due to financial constraints. and i, well i had to complete my degree so i stayed in australia.
Now when i say a lack of control over our circumstance, i meant this: if i really wanted to, i would say to my parents, screw this, i'm not studying, i love her, and i'm going back to singapore to be with her. watever happens back in sg i dun care (i cannot get into a local U here), maybe i work, maybe i live off my parents, i dun care i just want to be with her.
or i could say to my parents, gimme money i want to help her come over and study with me, so we can be together. at the same time she would beg, borrow and steal for the money so that she could go over and be with me.
now does the above sound just a little absurd to u? it could have been done, but the path less taken is wrought with many a winding road. i guess we weren't brave enuff, watever.
so we didn't have enuough "power" to change our circumstances. but it's different for me now. if i met someone who resided overseas, she'd most likely be working. i've already attained my degree, and already working. it is now EASIER for one of us to up and go, because of love. i can always look for work there, and vice versa.
all this long-windedness is just letting u know why i disapprove of LDRs. well i wouldn't say disapprove, but highly not recommended, ESPECIALLY when the reln is distanced while u are still studying. LDRs, to me, need not ever exist, because physical distance is so easily overcome, that it would be absurd to let it ruin something as beautiful as a love that two pple share.
i'm sure i'll be hearing some views of "love knows no boudaries" and anything can be overcome if u love and trust each other, and i'll refute those if/when it happens.
good luck pal! -
its always to maintain LDR rite... *hugz* do agree with wat u hv posted.... fate do plays a small part... =)Originally posted by jOhO:oh man.. looks like i'm gonna have to spew out my views on LDRs...
to me an LDR is something caused by a lack of power over our circumstances. let me eloborate:
When I was going thru an LDR, i was in australia, she was in singapore. I was studying, so was she. While she contemplated coming over to join me in uni, it was impossible due to financial constraints. and i, well i had to complete my degree so i stayed in australia.
Now when i say a lack of control over our circumstance, i meant this: if i really wanted to, i would say to my parents, screw this, i'm not studying, i love her, and i'm going back to singapore to be with her. watever happens back in sg i dun care (i cannot get into a local U here), maybe i work, maybe i live off my parents, i dun care i just want to be with her.
or i could say to my parents, gimme money i want to help her come over and study with me, so we can be together. at the same time she would beg, borrow and steal for the money so that she could go over and be with me.
now does the above sound just a little absurd to u? it could have been done, but the path less taken is wrought with many a winding road. i guess we weren't brave enuff, watever.
so we didn't have enuough "power" to change our circumstances. but it's different for me now. if i met someone who resided overseas, she'd most likely be working. i've already attained my degree, and already working. it is now EASIER for one of us to up and go, because of love. i can always look for work there, and vice versa.
all this long-windedness is just letting u know why i disapprove of LDRs. well i wouldn't say disapprove, but highly not recommended, ESPECIALLY when the reln is distanced while u are still studying. LDRs, to me, need not ever exist, because physical distance is so easily overcome, that it would be absurd to let it ruin something as beautiful as a love that two pple share.
i'm sure i'll be hearing some views of "love knows no boudaries" and anything can be overcome if u love and trust each other, and i'll refute those if/when it happens.
good luck pal!
i only left with handful of frens whom LDR are successful.... and got ROM..... guess u are juz another digit contributing to the uncessful ones? *hugz*
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yeap i contributed to a stat! ahhahaOriginally posted by anfuni:its always to maintain LDR rite... *hugz* do agree with wat u hv posted.... fate do plays a small part... =)
i only left with handful of frens whom LDR are successful.... and got ROM..... guess u are juz another digit contributing to the uncessful ones? *hugz*
well it was a long time ago.. but i've learnt my lesson well..
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joho.
i am prepared from the day i flew over, to go back if any of this case was to happen. i am now in the process of getting my butt back liao juz waiting for the local uni to accept me. but she seems lukewarm about it.
haiz ....my words are so contradicting, very ai mai ai mai. one time say f!@# her, then another minute apply for local uni liao..
agree that its a waste to see all the money spent go down the drain, not to mention the extent mi parents go thru to get the money. but i always believe money garuantee can be earned back but to lose someone is one thing NO garuantee can bring back.. even if have also very slim.
my 2 cents worth.. both of us really need a good thrashing ... esp her.. (litttle bias now) -
well good man, u're definitely walking the path less taken, and i admire your courage.Originally posted by man12:joho.
i am prepared from the day i flew over, to go back if any of this case was to happen. i am now in the process of getting my butt back liao juz waiting for the local uni to accept me. but she seems lukewarm about it.
haiz ....my words are so contradicting, very ai mai ai mai. one time say f!@# her, then another minute apply for local uni liao..
agree that its a waste to see all the money spent go down the drain, not to mention the extent mi parents go thru to get the money. but i always believe money garuantee can be earned back but to lose someone is one thing NO garuantee can bring back.. even if have also very slim.
my 2 cents worth.. both of us really need a good thrashing ... esp her.. (litttle bias now)
u might wanna come back to sg (i assume) with no expectations. it's gonna be hard, if not impossible, to do so. and being the pessimistic me, i'd hope for the best but expect the worse.
also if i can read between the lines, u may be a little like me. get really really fired up and curse and swear and be "biased" against her, but when you see her u'll be gentle, yet firm, and all those negative feelings will just elevate naturally, then u remember why you loved her in the first place.
bear in mind that even though u're giving up alot for her, it's not advisable for her to wanna carry on the reln just becos of that. you don't want her to feel like she "owes" you something, that's why she stays with u. of course the best is that she's so touched and all the rest of it, but no "owing" should be felt in a reln, right?
it's a pity that u have decided to give up ur studies overseas, but at least u won't live with the regret that u didn't give this relationship a fresh chance. hope things go well dude!!
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would be a plus point if she owes me for the rest of her life and support me till my golden years. (as if!)... kaoz!!! after so long liao tot can take the test of time, she tot i'm the one whos gonna run away first, never expect this to happen.!!
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joho
your story for real??? hiaz wish i was in his shoes... -
u r so funny.....keep asking him the same qnOriginally posted by man12:joho
your story for real??? hiaz wish i was in his shoes...
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screwed up wat... 4 days never sleep liao... dun wan to have nitemare again. not even in my sleep
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think u should try to get some rest and not think so much. you'll be going round in circles and it'll just snowball on u.Originally posted by man12:would be a plus point if she owes me for the rest of her life and support me till my golden years. (as if!)... kaoz!!! after so long liao tot can take the test of time, she tot i'm the one whos gonna run away first, never expect this to happen.!!
i've never met a introspective, yet happy person. -
well, maybe u hav thought it through... but just a word...from a nobody here...
Guess u got to be prepared if even your returns might amount to nothing in the end...
Life is not all about just love and relationship.
Life, like jOhO, is also about practicality.
There is no sure thing... even if u dumped everything overseas, and come back, wat is there to say, the relationship will definitely patch back and become seamless again... cracks in relationship are not amendable by cement.
Jus my 2 cents worth... many pple hav said r/s has to be mutual. If u reali think coming back helps, mi wish u luck. If u feel tat u will hav to continue your studies first, mi will support u too.
Importantly, dun regret over your decision...cos it will not help u in life, just brin more remorse and sadness...
Think over it pal, best regards
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i am a gentleman
Check for your smiley here -
nope... not happy but juz f!@#$@! up tats all...
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WOOHOOOO
sgboy speaks!! with good sense too!
i knew behind the buayaness, there's actually substance! -
so far have no regrets in my life.... but will have one if this fails b'coz of me going overseas. (pleaded with me before to stay) tot managed to convince her that... BUT i WILL kick myself in the ass if i said to her those things she said to me.
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and wat are those things she said?Originally posted by man12:so far have no regrets in my life.... but will have one if this fails b'coz of me going overseas. (pleaded with me before to stay) tot managed to convince her that... BUT i WILL kick myself in the ass if i said to her those things she said to me. -
Originally posted by jOhO:WOOHOOOO
sgboy speaks!! with good sense too!
i knew behind the buayaness, there's actually substance! 
x 2 -
my so-called gal now says that she felt too neglected and i am too possessive hence she decided not to continue this r/s anymore. she had initiated many break ups and patching back now she more affirmed that this will have no good ending..
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arr ok.. ur first post.Originally posted by man12:my so-called gal now says that she felt too neglected and i am too possessive hence she decided not to continue this r/s anymore. she had initiated many break ups and patching back now she more affirmed that this will have no good ending..
it's pretty vague, but on the face of it, it seems she just can't accept you not being around. i assume that's wat she meant by neglect.
and possessiveness would be your nagging, disallowing her to go out with other guys and/or asking her not to come home late etc etc?
of course we all know that it's because you're caring , but does she know? -
both of us are even amazed that the r/s can tahan so long. less than 2yr but far exceeded our expectations liao
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hmm.. how to go into a reln with an expectation of when it'll end??Originally posted by man12:both of us are even amazed that the r/s can tahan so long. less than 2yr but far exceeded our expectations liao
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she juz took it that i was possessive and feeding her with crap..
both of us initially dun really wanna commit coz she had bad experience and i going to fly...