I am depressed ...
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Hi everyone. I wish to put some update of my case if you don't mind. I really appreciate the help posted here and I think it have been helping..
Since the last post, my relationship with my wife improved but we are holding something back. My doctor told me I have to face the problem and I must talk to my wife about it. I did. I thought I found a good time to talk but it ended with my wife trying to take her own life. sigh...
I rushed her to hospital and I realised what is very true here, I am fighting a losing battle against big brother up there. I broke down and the next three days, I think alot and cried alot. Then I plucked up the courage to tell her to go ahead. Be the Christian she wants to be. I give her my blessing and I am willing to back out. I told her I will leave the house when she discharged from hospital.
Since my mother live with me, I had to ask her to leave too.. ( she had conflict with my wife ). I got no place to put her and asked my sister to take her in.. I was labelled ungreatful, useless and all sort of name. My sister was screaming so loud, the whole neighbour now know I am a useless good-for-nothing ungreatful son. I felt so useless too. But what can I do ?
mean time, I will just pack my bags..
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Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:
Hi everyone. I wish to put some update of my case if you don't mind. I really appreciate the help posted here and I think it have been helping..
Since the last post, my relationship with my wife improved but we are holding something back. My doctor told me I have to face the problem and I must talk to my wife about it. I did. I thought I found a good time to talk but it ended with my wife trying to take her own life. sigh...
I rushed her to hospital and I realised what is very true here, I am fighting a losing battle against big brother up there. I broke down and the next three days, I think alot and cried alot. Then I plucked up the courage to tell her to go ahead. Be the Christian she wants to be. I give her my blessing and I am willing to back out. I told her I will leave the house when she discharged from hospital.
Since my mother live with me, I had to ask her to leave too.. ( she had conflict with my wife ). I got no place to put her and asked my sister to take her in.. I was labelled ungreatful, useless and all sort of name. My sister was screaming so loud, the whole neighbour now know I am a useless good-for-nothing ungreatful son. I felt so useless too. But what can I do ?
mean time, I will just pack my bags..
Hi Origamist,
I am sorry to say this, but do you think your wife will be happy just because you are out of her life? You are being selfish to yourself, and you are being selfish to all the women around you too.
Ultimately, now that you have made such a choice, you will find yourself regretting it soon enough. More problems will be heading your way soon, and I hope you will be prepared for them.
Cheers.
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Originally posted by TrueHeart:
Hi Origamist,
I am sorry to say this, but do you think your wife will be happy just because you are out of her life? You are being selfish to yourself, and you are being selfish to all the women around you too.
Ultimately, now that you have made such a choice, you will find yourself regretting it soon enough. More problems will be heading your way soon, and I hope you will be prepared for them.
Cheers.
I dont see the reason why he will regret. Its not a decision made in one day or two, rather after much consideration and pain that he has gone through. I am in no position to offer any advice but i sincerely wish TS can find his happiness soon, with or without his wife. é•¿ç—›ä¸�如çŸç—›. Be a brave man and hope you can overcome all the obstacles. Cheers
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Originally posted by SpeedStar:
I dont see the reason why he will regret. Its not a decision made in one day or two, rather after much consideration and pain that he has gone through. I am in no position to offer any advice but i sincerely wish TS can find his happiness soon, with or without his wife. é•¿ç—›ä¸�如çŸç—›. Be a brave man and hope you can overcome all the obstacles. Cheers
He is on long term heavy medication - a longer period of time does not mean that he will make a better decision. I also think he will regret because there will be problems such as:
1) Sister complaining and making life difficult for him
2) Everyone looking down on him, perhaps even talking behind his back, which he will have to bear with.
3) What to do if his wife comes look for him?
And many many more.....
If he really wants to é•¿ç—›ä¸�如çŸç—›, then he should legally divorce, split assets, and get a smaller house for his mother and himself.
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Yes. I had found a place and intend to bring my mother with me. While we were moving, my wife called to ask me to stay on. She feel that I am a better father than she as a mother. My children may want to join me. I doudted if she will give up a religion when in the first place she is holding to it so strongly even after attempting sucide. But I have to give her the benefit of doubt. Right now, she is still down and understandly, I should be giving her time. In the meantime, yes. I hurt my mother too. But we will survive. I promise to treat my mother better.
I just hope that this is really the end as I do not think I can take another blow.
Thank you everyone for your kind concern, support and suggestion. It make me realised that we can find solace and solution in this forum too..
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Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:
Yes. I had found a place and intend to bring my mother with me. While we were moving, my wife called to ask me to stay on. She feel that I am a better father than she as a mother. My children may want to join me. I doudted if she will give up a religion when in the first place she is holding to it so strongly even after attempting sucide. But I have to give her the benefit of doubt. Right now, she is still down and understandly, I should be giving her time. In the meantime, yes. I hurt my mother too. But we will survive. I promise to treat my mother better.
I just hope that this is really the end as I do not think I can take another blow.
Thank you everyone for your kind concern, support and suggestion. It make me realised that we can find solace and solution in this forum too..
If its possible, try to work things out with ur wife. Leave religion aside. There are couples of different religion who can still live well together as long as you respect each other's needs and belief. Just give each other some breathing room and some freedom to do what u all want and hopefully things will improve.
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Take heart that you tried your best. Do not denigrate your struggles.
Sometimes its best to let go.
That you are willing to let your wife be what she want to be, shows that you love her.
Its what she wants. Give her, out of love. As being a Christian is not a negative thing, she is not likely to hurt herself. So let her be.
You live the best you can, look forward, and take care of your mother.
Get busy, setting up a new home.
Reconcile? Christians are taught that an ox and a horse cannot be yoked together to work a field. Therefore reconcilation would mean you becoming a Christian, or your wife to relent.
Thats for you to explore.
But I feel a parting of way is an ok option. You are not wrong. No one is.
Take care of yourself.
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Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:
I just hope that this is really the end as I do not think I can take another blow.
Thank you everyone for your kind concern, support and suggestion. It make me realised that we can find solace and solution in this forum too..
What we want, what we deserve and what we ultimately get are often completely different things. That is life, bitter and sweet.
Just remember that no wound runs too deep to heal. Chin up bro, soldier on and take care.