you need to be a christian too like your wife and let God take care of your problems. duh.
speak to her pastor and say you also want to know God, whose name is JC. A couple that prays together is a happy healthy couple. That is the reason why Christians who are single are only supposed to marry other Christians. People like your wife who become Christian after they are married (conversion happens after marriage) and are left with unbelieving spouses are not to be blamed for being married to a non Christian.
When one embraces or even subscribes to a/any relgion that is organised, circumscribed - one is simly wearing a Badge - be it Islam (Muslim), Hinduism(Hindu), Buddhism(Buddhist), Xtianity (Christian) - one is merely a prisoner- one is bound by so many tenents/beleifs. It limits one in many ways. It is an unfreeing experience, one is in bondage.
However, when one is BEING Mohd, Being Krishna(?), Being Buddha or Being Christ - one is flowing and one is relating to oneself and vice versa. One embodies the consciousness of being eg Christ or .... one is free and one is longer bound to ....
Sadly, in today's organized religion it is more of rituals and rituals. One is no longer flowing one is merely trapped.
Real religion or one who is practising ... is one who is always loving, always being kind, always being grateful. I m sure many (of us) have chanced upon such a person. He or she has arrived home. He/she has not alienated the God within him/herself. Many today are so alienated they go around searching looking for God (call whatever it may suit u) in a church , temple, mosque or ...
When one cannot find God (or...) within him/herself one cannot find it in a church, temple , mosque or ...
PS : Prayer if it is of gratitude - it is healthy lar, if it is one of supplication - one is merely begging!!!!
Originally posted by Fugazzi:When one embraces or even subscribes to a/any relgion that is organised, circumscribed - one is simly wearing a Badge - be it Islam (Muslim), Hinduism(Hindu), Buddhism(Buddhist), Xtianity (Christian) - one is merely a prisoner- one is bound by so many tenents/beleifs. It limits one in many ways. It is an unfreeing experience, one is in bondage.
However, when one is BEING Mohd, Being Krishna(?), Being Buddha or Being Christ - one is flowing and one is relating to oneself and vice versa. One embodies the consciousness of being eg Christ or .... one is free and one is longer bound to ....
Sadly, in today's organized religion it is more of rituals and rituals. One is no longer flowing one is merely trapped.
Real religion or one who is practising ... is one who is always loving, always being kind, always being grateful. I m sure many (of us) have chanced upon such a person. He or she has arrived home. He/she has not alienated the God within him/herself. Many today are so alienated they go around searching looking for God (call whatever it may suit u) in a church , temple, mosque or ...
When one cannot find God (or...) within him/herself one cannot find it in a church, temple , mosque or ...
PS : Prayer if it is of gratitude - it is healthy lar, if it is one of supplication - one is merely begging!!!!
Please do not write Christianity as "Xtianity" or Christmas as "Xmas".
First off, no one ever gave anyone the permission to replace the word 'Christ' with the letter X. How about using X over the names of the other 'deities' of worship like Allah or Buddha or Krishna? Or how about I replace your surname or your dad's name with the word Shit?
I would lurrrrve to see others do that and lurrrve to see the reaction they get. So many people have been getting away doing things they would never find the balls to do to others that they blasely do to Christians for decades. Christians are too meek.
The test of one's faith is not labels/names: it is what one is being that matters!
To reject something or to nit-pick n ignore the substance of sth that is mentioned or was mentioned is simply ignorance of the highest form. It does not detract what is true!
PS : U are not passing judgment on me, u are merely telling me what u are. As for calling me names or labelling, u are free to do so - that is u, your predicament, not mine.
Originally posted by insidestory:Please do not write Christianity as "Xtianity" or Christmas as "Xmas".
First off, no one ever gave anyone the permission to replace the word 'Christ' with the letter X. How about using X over the names of the other 'deities' of worship like Allah or Buddha or Krishna? Or how about I replace your surname or your dad's name with the word Shit?
I would lurrrrve to see others do that and lurrrve to see the reaction they get. So many people have been getting away doing things they would never find the balls to do to others that they blasely do to Christians for decades. Christians are too meek.
Replacing Christ with X for Christmas is not something new and has been done for ages by alot of ppl so that change is still following something that others already are doing.
Unless your surname is 1 that is related to shit and gets call shit by everyone, something you do intentionally and something that is done by many people in everyday use is very different.
Originally posted by insidestory:Please do not write Christianity as "Xtianity" or Christmas as "Xmas".
First off, no one ever gave anyone the permission to replace the word 'Christ' with the letter X. How about using X over the names of the other 'deities' of worship like Allah or Buddha or Krishna? Or how about I replace your surname or your dad's name with the word Shit?
I would lurrrrve to see others do that and lurrrve to see the reaction they get. So many people have been getting away doing things they would never find the balls to do to others that they blasely do to Christians for decades. Christians are too meek.
Because the greek 'Christos' which is the present english Christ is represented by the greek alphabets XR (Chi-Rho), hence it is acceptable to use the 'X' as representative of 'Christos'.
Originally posted by Herzog_Zwei:
Because the greek 'Christos' which is the present english Christ is represented by the greek alphabets XR (Chi-Rho), hence it is acceptable to use the 'X' as representative of 'Christos'.
I know that you got this from wikipedia. Wiki is not the source of intel for people of average intellect and above, because its credibility is suspect. Even if by some remote contrived machination, it can be linked in that manner, the fact is many non Christians use it to take the word Christ out of Christmas. I say, go invent your own holiday.
Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:Ya... guess you guys are right. I am afraid of change. The past is gone but linger only as memories .. I want to hold on to the past and live with the happy moment. Will the future bring me happiness, we don't know ... will the past actually bring happiness in the future, we too do not know ... oh what is happening to me ?? I used to embrace changes and I tell my people we must accept change. But I am now, confronted with change, is hiding from the true world.
I wake up with tears on my eyes, not that I cried but there are just tear and my heart heavy. Perhaps depression is fooling me. I used to tell my children and staff. Everyday we have a choice - to be happy or not to be happy. We choose it and not chosen by other people. I have been choosing un-happiness. I tell myself I must remain positive but the surrounding do not allow me to be positive. Things is happening and I am afraid I am losing the war.
I just cannot work. I cannot concentrate. I declared half day and closes the office. I went home and spent my time in front of the TV. Only in front of the TV will my mind be occupied. But I cannot on the TV 24 hours. I just hope I can find something that is like the TV to keep me occupied. I don't want to think anymore. I am very tired. very very tired. The more I think, the more I sink.
Your words of encourgement helped. But the moment I turnd away from th screen, I am depressed. I stll cannot let it go. I still can't accept the truth although I wanted to. It is so difficult.
When words failed to move one, then let music soothe the overwrought mind, evoking memories of how you were once, how you are today, and what you could be tommorrow.
A new canvass awaits, for you are the lead actor in the movie of your life, a chance to create a new script for your tomorrows that only you alone can.
Thing is, will the ending be a happy one, or a tragic one?
May it be the former, a tale of bittersweetness but eventually a truimph over life's adversities, as it had been for many.
Originally posted by insidestory:I know that you got this from wikipedia. Wiki is not the source of intel for people of average intellect and above, because its credibility is suspect. Even if by some remote contrived machination, it can be linked in that manner, the fact is many non Christians use it to take the word Christ out of Christmas. I say, go invent your own holiday.
I can understand why some Christians are sensitive about the X in place of Christ in 'Christmas' imagine the efffect on African-Americans if Malcom X become known as Malcom Christ but Christmas today is celebrated universally across the globe by people of all religion and no matter how you spell the word it still symbolises peace, happiness,festive mood.As for X-tians? Ahemm!! I have no comment.
Words are 'birds' - the word 'love' is not love, the word 'God' is not God, and the word 'fire' of course, is not fire.
Holding a book is not reading a book. The real reading is when one puts it in motion.
X-tians looks nice what.
Originally posted by Uraniumfish:X-tians looks nice what.
I think a Methodist would rather be called a'Catholic' than to look nice with the X-tian.Hahaha
Hi ORIGAMIST,
I am here to help. Yup, you are right, you are suffering from clinical depression right now. Don't dwell on your problems, don't think so much. They will only make matters worst. Admit that you need help, seek for one.
Family Service Centre hotline : 1800-838 0100 (note: office hours only)
Samaritans of Singapore : 1800-221 4444 (24hours)
Institute of Mental Health : 63892222 (24 hours)
The last 2 numbers are helpline for suicide prevention and crisis. Call them. You will probably need a counsellor to talk to. Counsellors are great listerners, trust me. Yup, then you may need some prozac too. Counsellors will guide you along.
Lol, you are already on med. Don't worry, those med will take some time to work.
Talk to more ppl, or counsellors. Don't brood over your problems by yourself.
I just came back from a weekend holiday with my wife. We never talk about the problem and we basically just laze around and have sex. Some thing that was not done for a while now .. But I cannot cum ... even after a long session, it just won't cum ... We had it so many session and I did not cum. Am I losing interest? Then I just realised the worst ... I dare pen here because she know my nid and she will come here to read it .. sigh .. another problem to kept to myself .. . . .
The medication, I had taken for a month already ... a lot of time I feel like it is not working ... wanted to give up . . . still feel so blue.
So after this holiday, what should I do ?
Please understand - medication(s) and even pschotherapist and even councillor(s) are simply all temporary.
U cannot deal with what u dont' understand and accept.
If u can, reconcile to and accept your emotions (without getting attached to them or identifying with them) and NOTE - all emotions pass, it is the wanting "them" to go or wishing them away that has u mired in a rut.
I would not suggest tht u do , cos doing is easy but it is not going to solve. Understandin u, not your spouse, is the key and most of being able to accept things (including people) around u. There is no certainty in life. all is change and that is the only thing that is permanent.
If u choose to wish and desire that things/pp remain the same - u are merely setting up yourself to 'fail' again.
Go with the flow - but be open to what may or may not happen.
ALL THAT ONE ACCEPTS 'FREES' ONE, ALL THAT ONE RESISTS BINDS ONE.
PS - Let me just reiterate - the more u have a centre of your own making - the less anxiety, the less pressure. In other words, u paint your paradize and enter it as opposed to looking for one and hoping that it would fit u. It works - the paradise that one may look or subscribe to/embrace outside of oneself but eventually fails.
Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:I just came back from a weekend holiday with my wife. We never talk about the problem and we basically just laze around and have sex. Some thing that was not done for a while now .. But I cannot cum ... even after a long session, it just won't cum ... We had it so many session and I did not cum. Am I losing interest? Then I just realised the worst ... I dare pen here because she know my nid and she will come here to read it .. sigh .. another problem to kept to myself .. . . .
The medication, I had taken for a month already ... a lot of time I feel like it is not working ... wanted to give up . . . still feel so blue.
So after this holiday, what should I do ?
What is the sex act actually?
It is only a biological act meant for reproduction. It is true that majority gets satisfaction from it and mostly it will be guys who will make such claims.
For women, or most women, it is totally a different concept. Most will only do it with the men they love, and the pleasure they get is unlike men. It is a deeper level, right down to the human emotions of a feeling being wanted, being loved.
Ultimately, what brings a man and a woman together is love. And love is more than sex. The happiness is the critical factor that matters in an union. And what is greatest true happiness, when it is freely given and with no expectations of return?
Cum or not, is not the vital factor. It is the happiness, and the pleasure you can give. It would be natural if you feel shortchanged. But it is only the animal perception you grew up with, a base instinct which many men would grew out of it when they fully mature. Some truly grow up, but many just grow childishly old. In that union, even if you feel shortchanged, it is more compensated by the woman you made love to who will love you even strongly more.
When you truly love, and see the woman whom you love pleasured, you will find true happiness, and nothing really else matters anymore..
Pleasure, we men can get from elsewhere, eg, dedication to our work, obligations we fulfill or even achievements made that seem impossible to others.
You are sadly, still locked within a primitive mind which you must outgrow to find happiness, which is already in your life. That all that has happened, you and your wife can still love and make love is a sign of absolute recovery. Some never have that chance, given your situation. You are indeed a very very lucky man.
I guess your next step is to rebuild your confidence in yourself. You are no lesser man, even though you subscribe to mainstream manly beliefs mainly created by desperadoes with a high sex drive. You are more of a man if only you would believe and trust what you are fully capable of - genuine love, caring and concern for your love ones. This is what truly matters and makes you a man, a respected one and envy of others.
Some medication do not work by itself. It is only an aid to the remedy.
Like sliming pills, taking them alone does not work, if the diet is not changed, and exercise is not incorporated into the programme.
You must put in some physical and mental effort together with your medication. Try to control your thoughts. Stop the dialogue that is going on incessantly in you head.
Try stopping your thoughts, (like holding your breath,) for a 5 - 10 seconds, then try for longer periods, then try for the minute.
Of course, it is no good to be mindless, you have to think, but for the time being, you got to control the runaway dialogue going on in the mind. When you can stop that, you can now think of to improve your computer, solve the economic problems of Singapore, or how the neighbourhood can be improved, and what are the daily needs of your family. But don't start on yourself again.
You can't ejaculate when you have sex. That would be a setback for your wife. She submit to you because she is your wife. To her the act is nothing more than that. And you not being to ejaculate, will make her wonder, about herself. That she is really old and useless as a woman to you. To her nevermind if she does not enjoy sex, but it is important to her that you do. It is like cooking, she cooks, you eat, and if you cannot enjoy the food, then she will not bother about cooking anymore. The bond between you and your wife will lessen. So please see the doctor. It could be the medication that is interfering with your ability to ejaculate. Don't think too much about it, medication is known to have other side effects. But do let your wife know about it.
so it is not that I don't love her anymore ... the whole time I thought I had lost my love for her ..
yes, I am the culprit and apperantly I am. I need to snap out of it but I never had this kind of experience .. I need to really sit down and think .. I have lose my sense of thought .. I cannot think anymore ... suddenly everything happening to me is a great test to me. whether it is work or family .... my mind cannot focus... yes, I am not the man I used to be ... am I losing my mind too ?
and I was prepared to divorce her .. thanks to you guys ... you wake me up ... I will have to find my direction now ..
Originally posted by Uraniumfish:X-tians looks nice what.
Remind me of the X-laws in shaman king.
well when i read 1/2 way, TS. i find that it's very strange.
u got wife, got kids, got work
u got stressed. work too stressed? got to work else no money?
got huge debt? the problem start from the debt?
analyse how u end up with the debt?
gambling? stock market? play stock-- > money all gone?
so problem is created by yourself. u have to solve them slowly.
take time.
your wife want to be christian because she might find the lord will guide her thru her misery, he sorrow etc.
well if my gf is a christian. it's ok. hey man, this is 2009. it's free to have your own religion.
i am not young and i am not married. i am working not wealthy too, but i still live everyday happily. u are blessed with much things better then many of us here. so be happy.
the problem u faced are the problem u created yourself to make yourself miserable. u think too much, those items u think is rubbish. u should clean your mind out of the rubbish.
if your job sucks until it give u stress until u need to see doctor. then QUIT it.
if it's money problem and u got no money u need the job then BEAR with it, until u find a new job.
well u say u have pride?
that is SHIT. you better knee down and kiss the floor, lick it and tell the world that u r rock bottom.
u know, u are not the only one suffering in this world.
after reading what u typed.
i have to tell u, u don't deserved anything.
your word is harsh but there is no denial that I am in the wrong too. As pointed out by many, I am the centre of the problem and I need to sort it out. Right now I can't concentrate and of course I need guidance. All that is written here, I read it and try to disgest as much as possible. I want to get out of it as soon as possible and it is often the one barrier that need to overcome is yourself. I must say it is not easy .. .
Originally posted by Fire Cracker:well when i read 1/2 way, TS. i find that it's very strange.
u got wife, got kids, got work
u got stressed. work too stressed? got to work else no money?
got huge debt? the problem start from the debt?
analyse how u end up with the debt?
gambling? stock market? play stock-- > money all gone?
so problem is created by yourself. u have to solve them slowly.
take time.
your wife want to be christian because she might find the lord will guide her thru her misery, he sorrow etc.
well if my gf is a christian. it's ok. hey man, this is 2009. it's free to have your own religion.
i am not young and i am not married. i am working not wealthy too, but i still live everyday happily. u are blessed with much things better then many of us here. so be happy.
the problem u faced are the problem u created yourself to make yourself miserable. u think too much, those items u think is rubbish. u should clean your mind out of the rubbish.
if your job sucks until it give u stress until u need to see doctor. then QUIT it.
if it's money problem and u got no money u need the job then BEAR with it, until u find a new job.
well u say u have pride?
that is SHIT. you better knee down and kiss the floor, lick it and tell the world that u r rock bottom.
u know, u are not the only one suffering in this world.
after reading what u typed.
i have to tell u, u don't deserved anything.
Just when someone is down and almost out a wise guy like you has to come along and kick him in the face.The good news is that after more than 2 weeks he is still posting and talking about the steps he needed to take to turn this his life around...which people under deep depression are unable to.You might think that you have hantam him with this comment but actually it is reverse psychology and I believe Origamist is a lot better than he was a month ago.For the first time, I feel like hugging you instead of the usual cock punching pain you get from my brass knuckles.
Thank you Ninja. But he is not all wrong. I am responsibile for what is happening to me now and I am as much to be blame. I appreciate your kind concerns. With the encouragement here, there is no reason I cannot snapp out of my depression. I only need time to sort myself out of it
TS,
U can get 'out' - 'kill' the 4 so-called inner voice(s) in u - the politician, the priest, parents n society. I say that cos there is no such thing as inner voice - only a conditioned crowd (the 4 thru eg, beliefs,traditions, customs ....add on) having an abode in u - in other words, the inside of u has been hijacked.The real inner voice is silence.
Eg U may think that u are in the driver's seat - in reality, u are a mere passenger - other's are cajoling/prompting u to be or do. In everday living - one gets lost, attached or identifies with roles/personalities. Hence the split on the inside. One is disconnected from one's source - heart, being, soul (any name that resonates of or with one).
Just understanding, accepting and being alert to it will weaken the 4 voices and u will see what u are, and of course, it takes lots of courage.
Courage is a by-product of self-love (not to be confused with one's idea of what one is or what one has or what one was = this is merely ego!