Gf's mother from hell
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Just wondering guys, whether you guys have go steady with a gal whose mother is from hell...
well, my current gf's mother is seriously from hell! lots of rules, lots of obligation, always talking bad behind my bad...
1) i am not allowed to bring my gf home to my house to meet my parents. Reason she give is because her family is more "traditional" . can only meet my parents after her daughter go dating with me for more then 2 years. BUT, i must go their house every week to eat dinner so they can know me better.
2) i live in the east, gf live in west. 2 months into the relationship, the mother warn me, if i ever marry her daughter, i must buy house in the west. she got one daughter and one son only, cant bear to leave the daughter. I am only son in my family, but I must leave the east, to live in the west... my parents cannot live with me in future, scared they bully her duaghter...
3) currently unemployed because just graduated... Looking for job for 1month plus nia, in front of me keep smiling, behind my back keep bad mouthing me infront of gf. say why i everyday at home nothing to do.... why dont find work? work drop from sky? make me and gf quarrel non-stop everyday...
4) must celebrate gf father and mother, brother, grandmother birthday. but my gf cannot even wish my parents happy birthday or even talk on the phone...
so any bro's out there that is suffering as much as me? or worst then me? anyone in the same situation as me? any advice?
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like mother like daugther think twice.
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this is a classic story whereby if married, the boy's mother will say, "a sad case, in my case, marrying over a daughter-in-law is equals to losing a son to the in-laws..."
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this sort of control freak mother will put a lot of strain on the relationship. Go for a few more months and see how la. If really u have understood the mother's psyche better and u conclude she's still fucked up...then change gf lor. what to do....ur gf sounds like a mummy's girl and that can only make it tougher.
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yah... u need to show who wears the pants in the house in the future when u two are married...
like that continue, u are actually married into the girl's family...
Marrying off a son to the girl's family is known in Chinese Culture as "Ru Zhui 入赘".
In Chinese Culture context, it was very rare for a son to be married to the girl's family... -
lucky is only gf nia
u better decide properly if u wanna convert to wife
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mai tu liao
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Originally posted by SplitRoads:
Just wondering guys, whether you guys have go steady with a gal whose mother is from hell...
well, my current gf's mother is seriously from hell! lots of rules, lots of obligation, always talking bad behind my bad...
1) i am not allowed to bring my gf home to my house to meet my parents. Reason she give is because her family is more "traditional" . can only meet my parents after her daughter go dating with me for more then 2 years. BUT, i must go their house every week to eat dinner so they can know me better.
2) i live in the east, gf live in west. 2 months into the relationship, the mother warn me, if i ever marry her daughter, i must buy house in the west. she got one daughter and one son only, cant bear to leave the daughter. I am only son in my family, but I must leave the east, to live in the west... my parents cannot live with me in future, scared they bully her duaghter...
3) currently unemployed because just graduated... Looking for job for 1month plus nia, in front of me keep smiling, behind my back keep bad mouthing me infront of gf. say why i everyday at home nothing to do.... why dont find work? work drop from sky? make me and gf quarrel non-stop everyday...
4) must celebrate gf father and mother, brother, grandmother birthday. but my gf cannot even wish my parents happy birthday or even talk on the phone...
so any bro's out there that is suffering as much as me? or worst then me? anyone in the same situation as me? any advice?
Does your gf sides her mom or you?
If she sides her mom and cannot be bothered to see from your perspective, your relationship is going to break down soon enough. The solution out of this is pretty obvious...
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there are so many girls to choose from, take your time to pick and decide. you dun want the rest of your lives ruined by your mother in law or wife, would you?
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wa. scary sia this type of mother-in-law- to be...
TS.. better consider wisely. Cause from what you state, it seems that your gf mother doesnt give a hoot about your family side. So no compromise type. Very hard to deal with.
Remember, a relationship is a mutual one. It isnt one sided.
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Aiya you all will break up one la
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wah this one really kua zhang.
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Originally posted by noopi:
mai tu liao
mai tu liao is ask TS marry her gf?
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I agree with Rooney and Forbidden. Take your time and see how things go. If your gf sides with her parents all the time it's gonna be quite straining on your relationship with her and your parents too.
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Originally posted by SplitRoads:
Just wondering guys, whether you guys have go steady with a gal whose mother is from hell...
well, my current gf's mother is seriously from hell! lots of rules, lots of obligation, always talking bad behind my bad...
1) i am not allowed to bring my gf home to my house to meet my parents. Reason she give is because her family is more "traditional" . can only meet my parents after her daughter go dating with me for more then 2 years. BUT, i must go their house every week to eat dinner so they can know me better.
2) i live in the east, gf live in west. 2 months into the relationship, the mother warn me, if i ever marry her daughter, i must buy house in the west. she got one daughter and one son only, cant bear to leave the daughter. I am only son in my family, but I must leave the east, to live in the west... my parents cannot live with me in future, scared they bully her duaghter...
3) currently unemployed because just graduated... Looking for job for 1month plus nia, in front of me keep smiling, behind my back keep bad mouthing me infront of gf. say why i everyday at home nothing to do.... why dont find work? work drop from sky? make me and gf quarrel non-stop everyday...
4) must celebrate gf father and mother, brother, grandmother birthday. but my gf cannot even wish my parents happy birthday or even talk on the phone...
so any bro's out there that is suffering as much as me? or worst then me? anyone in the same situation as me? any advice?
I doubt the relationship will last long and based on the point I highlighted, I also doubt your gf knows what you are going through. This is my assumption - I think your gf currently think what her mother is doing is actually right/fair.
Like what others say 'Like mother, Like daughter' think twice about this relationship. Do you think you can handle the pressure from her mother and your gf?
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first the daughter get genes from where? second daughter character and personality inherited from mom. third the mom teaches the daughter how guys are jerk etc when young.
we need to unlearn all those crap from our parents, esp when we were young and dunno whats said is right or wrong.
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Originally posted by noopi:
mai tu liao
tu butter or kaya???
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is your gf chio?? if not then forget it la....
even if she is chio forget it also la...
this kind of mother in law you want ar? haven marry already so many problems, every week go her house eat, some more bad mouthing behind your back. Who knows maybe all her relatives think you are a free loader now.. think you every week go their house eat is because you got no money stingy...
The gf mother is very selfish in my opinion. You must remember is your parents that brought u up, not that gf mother. You must be fair to your parents instead. How would your parents feel if their son is being mistreated by the gf mother? its kind of henpeck....
therefore, fuck it... forget about the gf and move on ahead and look for another one.
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hi guys... thanks for all your replies. Appreciate all the feedback you guys posted... thanks !!! XIE XIE!!
acutally my gf does kinda noe what i am going through. i explained to her many times.. she thought of writing a letter to my parents ,to explain her situation... but i told her, why bother? how my parents will feel?
she doesnt side with her mother all the time... but everytime her mother talk to her behind my back, she start to go crazy, and act funny.... sometimes, i really think that the reason why my relationship so bad with her, is because of her mother.
for eg, looking for a job... now the job market not very good. initally, she will be super supportive, motivating me...giving me moral support.... but recently, her mother start to talk rubbish behind my back... ask her why i wasting time at home not getting job... why find job so hard... after brain-washing, she come and quarrel with me, say that i not finding the job hard enough. Seriously, pissing me off so much...
But i know she can be very sweet, and be a nice gf... she doesnt cook, but she actually bought a cook book, and tried to cook for me many times. when i sick, she wants to travel to my void deck just to see me, but cant go up my house... if she isnt such a sweet gf, i wouldnt be having such a big headache...
but i know one thing, her mother, seriously screw up...really no way can communicate with her...
so bros, what do you think i should do???
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Originally posted by MaNyZeR:
is your gf chio?? if not then forget it la....
even if she is chio forget it also la...
this kind of mother in law you want ar? haven marry already so many problems, every week go her house eat, some more bad mouthing behind your back. Who knows maybe all her relatives think you are a free loader now.. think you every week go their house eat is because you got no money stingy...
The gf mother is very selfish in my opinion. You must remember is your parents that brought u up, not that gf mother. You must be fair to your parents instead. How would your parents feel if their son is being mistreated by the gf mother? its kind of henpeck....
therefore, fuck it... forget about the gf and move on ahead and look for another one.
chio? have you seen a chio ger who is wilful, childish and is nasty and petty. even chio also become ugly when she turned wilful. you sure you can tahan her wilful ways even if she is chio?
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Originally posted by ^Acid^ aka s|aO^eH~:
tu butter or kaya???
I want peanut butter pls
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Originally posted by SplitRoads:
Just wondering guys, whether you guys have go steady with a gal whose mother is from hell...
well, my current gf's mother is seriously from hell! lots of rules, lots of obligation, always talking bad behind my bad...
1) i am not allowed to bring my gf home to my house to meet my parents. Reason she give is because her family is more "traditional" . can only meet my parents after her daughter go dating with me for more then 2 years. BUT, i must go their house every week to eat dinner so they can know me better.
2) i live in the east, gf live in west. 2 months into the relationship, the mother warn me, if i ever marry her daughter, i must buy house in the west. she got one daughter and one son only, cant bear to leave the daughter. I am only son in my family, but I must leave the east, to live in the west... my parents cannot live with me in future, scared they bully her duaghter...
3) currently unemployed because just graduated... Looking for job for 1month plus nia, in front of me keep smiling, behind my back keep bad mouthing me infront of gf. say why i everyday at home nothing to do.... why dont find work? work drop from sky? make me and gf quarrel non-stop everyday...
4) must celebrate gf father and mother, brother, grandmother birthday. but my gf cannot even wish my parents happy birthday or even talk on the phone...
so any bro's out there that is suffering as much as me? or worst then me? anyone in the same situation as me? any advice?
Her mother treat you like this is because...You slacker , no income, no job, no nothing.
If you are a successful man, her mother will be more than willing to let her precious dotter be with you.
Her mother knows her dotter is a nice girl and deserve someone else who can really take care of her and provide for her.
Giving her dotter to you is like putting a delicate flower on a piece of cow dung.
All mothers behave the same if the guy not up to standard.
So, don't blame her mother for the way she treats you. Because all mothers are like that one. OK ? Good.
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I have to agree with Jojobeach on this...the main reason why the mother in law treat u this way is becoz simply put it....u are not financial independent......u dun even have a decent salary to begin with, u can't even afford urself....most likely asking ur own parents for money......which mum-in-law would want to give blessings to this relationship??? If you are successful in life....i am sure it would be the mum-in-law sucking up to u....this is a realistic world we live in.......Instead of whinning here.....u should just try to get a job.....be it a part time job as a waiter or watever...show her mum in law u are working ur way up......
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dump ur gf lar.if u marry her,u sure kana queen control wan.
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i would say seriously consider ending this one....the gf is sweet and nice cos' she's in the romance mode now....after marriage it's a whole new ball game....and with a constant nag by her side, it's hard to see how she'd not be influence...this is not just a protective mother, you got to see her as an over-bearing mother in law...
...imagine she's already pinning you down to where you can live, what you can do and how you do this and that...bolt while you can...courtship usually does not mirror married life...the last thing you want is to be caught in between your family and the wife...i can forsee whenever your side plans for a gethering, the mil will object....so be prepared spending your reunion dinners, first cny visits with her family....you have seen the future, what more do you need?...best wishes..