Gf's mother from hell
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Love does not come easy or without obstacles.
How many relationships will you want to fail when each time you run away from obstacles?
Ultimately, it is your life, and you will have to consider if you truly love the girl. If you do, then any obstacles you face is worth goining thru, and when you succeed, so much the feelings and experience you gain, and the more you will treasure your love and be treasured.
1.Parents love their kids, this is an undeniable fact, and will do anything to protect them. Rather than to comment on the 'wall' you face, criticise and judge them on their 'rules', firstly, find out the roots of such 'rules'.
Just like your own country, there will be the dissatisfied, who would rather criticise than to offer solutions. Some worse, will talk with a sweet mask with sweet lips and honeyed words to change others peception about one's country, without offering credible solutions
Rules are only guidelines, and not cast in stone. If you can present a better solution, I am sure her parents will listen to you and let you try out any change if necessary, but first you must prove yourself worthy of their trust.
There must be a reason for the 2 years wait. If you can find out the root reason why, and with intelligence, patience and worthy actions, you will be able to convince that it is not necessary.
But if their arguements are solid, then what is 2 years to see the sincerity in you if you truly love? After all, love is eternal.
2. Romance and love should go together. It is about building strong relationships and ties, whereby both families can be joined in your union. There is no need to separate families.
I do find her parents strange, but again, no 2 persons think alike. You will need to discover the roots of such behaviour. Is it because of race, religion and language, etc? The older generation do not think like us, for they had not been taught the bonds we this generation are taught and built with.
If there are any discriminations or ignorances, then it is your duty to correct it with patience and time. It will not happen overnight, but over time, by your sincerity and integrity.
Do simple acts, - such as giving gifts to her family side, such as cakes, sweets, etc. Arrange both sides of parents and relatives to join in safe activities, such as national health runs or jogs, so that they may met and get to know one another better.
Face to fac efforts often can help bridge differences, and you will be the best bridge. Communications is the most important factor in any relationship. As you are an educated man, it isnt all about money, but what you do with your education that gets you respected as a man.
Be not a quitter, or a liar, or a con person with a hidden agenda. Rather, use that knowledge aquired to make the world a better place, beginning with your very own family that you will be building up soon.
As long as you tried, and really did your best, others will understand and respect you. But to walk away, I say again - how many obstacles will you run away from, or pour sour grapes over them?
Good luck. I sincerly wish you all the best and may you succeed in your efforts. It's your life, a precious and worthy one, not because you are educated, but because you have found your love and can love in return, capable of doing what it take to protect that love.
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i tell u.....u dun break off with her now, next time u wan BJ from ur wife also must ask her mum's permission then u knw......
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just rem that everything come in a package....
if u find the package crappy... then go find another one....
else suck it up and deal with it....
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Her mother treat you like this is because...You slacker , no income, no job, no nothing.
If you are a successful man, her mother will be more than willing to let her precious dotter be with you.
Her mother knows her dotter is a nice girl and deserve someone else who can really take care of her and provide for her.
Giving her dotter to you is like putting a delicate flower on a piece of cow dung.
All mothers behave the same if the guy not up to standard.
So, don't blame her mother for the way she treats you. Because all mothers are like that one. OK ? Good.
I have to disagree with this. No matter what TS's gf mother shouldn't restrict her daughter from visiting TS family and expect TS to always go to his gf's house for dinner every week.
To top it off, his gf's mother don't even allow his gf to celebrate TS's parent birthday. What the F is this? TS (or his parent) doesn't deserve this.
Definitely not all mothers are like that which is unreasonable. I don't see this as mother doting her child but mother trying to control her child's partner.
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well, one- bear with all this shit which i dont suggest.
two- just talk to her parents.tell them, we're modern now, not some traditional shit :D
life is like this.nothing good comes in the way. -
Originally posted by furb:
I have to disagree with this. No matter what TS's gf mother shouldn't restrict her daughter from visiting TS family and expect TS to always go to his gf's house for dinner every week.
To top it off, his gf's mother don't even allow his gf to celebrate TS's parent birthday. What the F is this? TS (or his parent) doesn't deserve this.
Definitely not all mothers are like that which is unreasonable. I don't see this as mother doting her child but mother trying to control her child's partner.
as u see....
unless u can change her mum..... isnt it more of u accepting the mum demand or request, no matter how unreasonable they may seem?
so why dun spent more time and effort getting into the good book of the mum and make thing better rather then wasting time thinking how unfair or unreasonable the mum is? who knows, thing might turn for the better once ts get along well with mum?
if the ger is good enough for ts to endure with mum from hell, then isnt it all worth it?
like i said.. itis a package... good deal, then stick to it... else.. time to look for another...
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TS must remember to fuck your gf first before you break up with her hor
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Originally posted by fireng:
TS must remember to fuck your gf first before you break up with her hor
-__-''
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Originally posted by furb:
I have to disagree with this. No matter what TS's gf mother shouldn't restrict her daughter from visiting TS family and expect TS to always go to his gf's house for dinner every week.
To top it off, his gf's mother don't even allow his gf to celebrate TS's parent birthday. What the F is this? TS (or his parent) doesn't deserve this.
Definitely not all mothers are like that which is unreasonable. I don't see this as mother doting her child but mother trying to control her child's partner.
Why must the gf's mom allow her precious dotter to go visit TS's family ?
He is not even gonna marry the dotter any time soon. He can't even support himself.
TS's parents is TS's parent, they are not the gf's parent ( not even parent in-law yet). So why must the gf be obligated to behave like a wife already ?
If they already officially engaged or married , then it is ofcors unreasonable for TS's mom to behave so.
Her mom is alredy very kind to let TS spend time with her family during family dinners. If he don't want to go , nobody is forcing him.
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shuddup la....pple alrdy down u still step some more. Moreover, being unemployed is often not by choice. Who wants to be a bum?
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eh seriously...your gf will give u a lot of trouble next time...if she can go your void deck why not just go up to your place. after all her mom will not know if both of you keep quiet. inflexible. and sounds like she mommy girl, more or less will side her mom. probably now not a good time to be with her, until she decides to stand firm and think for herself.
now she is just following what mommy says. this kinda potential mother in law...nv support you nvm, but if married le, most likely will divorce cause of her sowing discord.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Her mother treat you like this is because...You slacker , no income, no job, no nothing.
If you are a successful man, her mother will be more than willing to let her precious dotter be with you.
Her mother knows her dotter is a nice girl and deserve someone else who can really take care of her and provide for her.
Giving her dotter to you is like putting a delicate flower on a piece of cow dung.
All mothers behave the same if the guy not up to standard.
So, don't blame her mother for the way she treats you. Because all mothers are like that one. OK ? Good.
no money no honey.
get a job n the mother has nothing more to grumble about
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
shuddup la….pple alrdy down u still step some more. Moreover, being unemployed is often not by choice. Who wants to be a bum?
there are always jobs out there.it is just a matter of choice whether you want to do it or not.
being a bum is a choice not an act of god
zzzzz....
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Originally posted by Kenashi:
no money no honey.
get a job n the mother has nothing more to grumble about
If she is really against TS, she will be sure to pop up more excuses...
Like the job is not good enough...etc.
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Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:
If she is really against TS, she will be sure to pop up more excuses...
Like the job is not good enough...etc.
we aren't the mother, so we don't know.but TS grumbling here when he should be doing something about himself, leave a lot to be said about his character.
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TS<
Your gal friend's mum is entitled to say or think what she wants to. In fact, she is projecting her idea of what is 'good/ bad' and it is her predicament. She is insecure lar, hence the projection.
By paying attention or feeling anxious as to what she thinks of u - u have already forgone your rite to exist as u are. U have made her predicament yours! She is pushing your buttons!
U may get a job that pays handsome $$$ - however, there is no guarantee. Same goes with house, car n even ur gal friend. All these are merely props - quantative. Anxiety is going to be the mainstay of your daily thoughts cos it is dependency on something(s) that can be lost. There are no guarantees.
However, what u invest INside of u - is something that will never be lost - it is an immeasurable quality
Today it could be job, what next?
In my opinion, what is transpiring bet u and your gal friend is 'trading' which is far from love. Only the word love or erroneously interpreted as love.
Of course, if $$$, job,security ... add on, is what is of utmost importance to u and the other - so be it. Just being honest and most all looking at it (things) as it(they) REALLY makes a big difference.
ps - one who is secure within - may have the money, house, care ... but the difference is that in the eventually of sth going 'bad/wrong' one has the strength WITHIN n would not collapse. In fact, one has the ability to respond to all kinds of .... and yet come away a 'winner'
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hey guys, thanks for all the replies..
for those of you who think that getting a job is a problem for me, i guess i should just explain my situation..
i'm a degree holder with Hons and just returned from the US. i could have simply work in my father's office and get a salary that i believe, is more than what some may earn in 3 months... but i want to start on my own, rather then depending on my father.
I am not ranting, grumbling, about my gf mother. I am just asking for opinions and advices and whether anyone is going through the same problem as me.. and if they are, maybe they could give me some advice. please read my post carefully, before flamming me.
anyway, there are really some very useful and meaningful replies. i guess for now, I shall just hold on, endure it through... wait a little longer before i make a decision.
thanks for all the replies....
cheers~
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wow rich guy. got lobang anot i need a job. lol.
the thing is , does her parents know your family background. and how long have u been together? but personally i think is the case of she look u no up, think that her girl be with you is a waste. so prove otherwise, and probably she will loosen up. but in the case where the mom is impossible... then good luck
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Originally posted by SplitRoads:
hey guys, thanks for all the replies..
for those of you who think that getting a job is a problem for me, i guess i should just explain my situation..
i'm a degree holder with Hons and just returned from the US. i could have simply work in my father's office and get a salary that i believe, is more than what some may earn in 3 months... but i want to start on my own, rather then depending on my father.
I am not ranting, grumbling, about my gf mother. I am just asking for opinions and advices and whether anyone is going through the same problem as me.. and if they are, maybe they could give me some advice. please read my post carefully, before flamming me.
anyway, there are really some very useful and meaningful replies. i guess for now, I shall just hold on, endure it through... wait a little longer before i make a decision.
thanks for all the replies....
cheers~
Dude, you have a family business which you could have contributed and benefited from, yet you choose to bum around "waiting" for the right opportunity.
Just because the business belongs to your family doesn't mean you should collect salary and shake legs.
All the more you need to work hard for the family business that had been the source of your financial support while you studied overseas. When opportunity comes a knocking.. you can always branch out and expand your capabilities.
Your actions and decisions pertaining to your life and career choices, make your character "questionable".
Right now, in her mother's eyes, you are just another "jia liao bee" guy , with an expensive but worthless piece of paper degree from USA.
You want her mother to "see you up" and entrust her precious dotter to you, then you jolly well start EARNing her respect.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Dude, you have a family business which you could have contributed and benefited from, yet you choose to bum around "waiting" for the right opportunity.
Just because the business belongs to your family doesn't mean you should collect salary and shake legs.
All the more you need to work hard for the family business that had been the source of your financial support while you studied overseas. When opportunity comes a knocking.. you can always branch out and expand your capabilities.
Your actions and decisions pertaining to your life and career choices, make your character "questionable".
Right now, in her mother's eyes, you are just another "jia liao bee" guy , with an expensive but worthless piece of paper degree from USA.
You want her mother to "see you up" and entrust her precious dotter to you, then you jolly well start EARNing her respect.
this sounds really patronising -
Originally posted by Kenashi:
there are always jobs out there.it is just a matter of choice whether you want to do it or not.
being a bum is a choice not an act of god
zzzzz....
cant just take any job....at the end of the day if take a shit job with low pay, mother in law will kao peh again. back to square 1. -
take it easy lah....u just graduate focus on your career first. half of this issue will automatically gone.
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Originally posted by SplitRoads:
hey guys, thanks for all the replies..
for those of you who think that getting a job is a problem for me, i guess i should just explain my situation..
i'm a degree holder with Hons and just returned from the US. i could have simply work in my father's office and get a salary that i believe, is more than what some may earn in 3 months... but i want to start on my own, rather then depending on my father.
I am not ranting, grumbling, about my gf mother. I am just asking for opinions and advices and whether anyone is going through the same problem as me.. and if they are, maybe they could give me some advice. please read my post carefully, before flamming me.
anyway, there are really some very useful and meaningful replies. i guess for now, I shall just hold on, endure it through... wait a little longer before i make a decision.
thanks for all the replies....
cheers~
you believe more than 3 mths??? such arrogance...just like the toad living in a well who think that the world is only as big as the opening of the well.
no wonder ppl look down on you.
hahaha...
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
cant just take any job....at the end of the day if take a shit job with low pay, mother in law will kao peh again. back to square 1.
earning money through hard work is better than waiting for money to drop from the sky or worse waiting for handout from parentstsk tsk tsk....
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Originally posted by SplitRoads:
hey guys, thanks for all the replies..
for those of you who think that getting a job is a problem for me, i guess i should just explain my situation..
i'm a degree holder with Hons and just returned from the US. i could have simply work in my father's office and get a salary that i believe, is more than what some may earn in 3 months... but i want to start on my own, rather then depending on my father.
I am not ranting, grumbling, about my gf mother. I am just asking for opinions and advices and whether anyone is going through the same problem as me.. and if they are, maybe they could give me some advice. please read my post carefully, before flamming me.
anyway, there are really some very useful and meaningful replies. i guess for now, I shall just hold on, endure it through... wait a little longer before i make a decision.
thanks for all the replies....
cheers~
now that u revealed that u are a rich guy, the sour grapes will strike liao lah. you shouldn't have..