I disliked my mom a lot
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I dunno if I can use the word hate, but I cannot stand the sight and sound of my mom. she is in her early 70s, stubborn, talks loud and is not a hygienic person. she embarrased me when I was young and she could not keep secrets. I have learned my lesson, not to tell her anything, less my relatives and her friends know about it.
when she cooks, the kitchen is a mess after that. you can see rice, meat and dunno what shit on the floor. the sink is also likewise, with rice, vege or some meat lying around.
I dun like to talk to her, cos she talked loudly (as if quarrelling), nag and nag at dunno what shit. she go complain to relatives that I am not telling her anything and my relatives came to ask me, how come your mom does not know what you are doing. why should I, after what I was embarrased as a child. she once said, I want to know what you are thinking and I was like wtf. what arrogance and thinking was that. you do not tell me anything about yourself, except for the old grandmother stories.
I have no feelings for her no more cos I have had it, from teens to adulthood. when she come home, I go back to my bedroom and turn on the tv volume loud. why I buy a tv in my room so that I dun have to see her in the living room anymore.
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Old ppl like this one la...
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I know, as she is not highly educated. when she talk and nag, like want to quarrel like that. in pri school, she came to my school and talk to my principal that I was not given homework to do and my teacher was summoned to the meeting.
next day I was embarrased in front of the class when the teacher talked about it.
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Originally posted by ~N3RD~:
Old ppl like this one la...
is your mom like that also?
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wait for her to die than inherit her property..
btw how old are you? 36 years old? you are a guy? cos your nick says you are dave 36..
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I may sound callous, but even at my deathbed, I do not want to see her. the sight and sound of her disturbed by inner peace alot. even her clothes also irked me.
oh my fridge is a mess. I cleaned my fridge once a year before CNY. after a while the fridge is stuffed with her stuff, so dirty and messy. I wonder if she has any concept of cleanliness and organised. I am a complete opposite of her.
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Originally posted by fireng:
wait for her to die than inherit her property..
btw how old are you? 36 years old? you are a guy? cos your nick says you are dave 36..
no lar. the house I have no interest. given our bad blood, you think she will leave for me anything? I am in my 30s. plus if she were to pass away, I dunno if I can drop a tear or not? once she was on holiday for 5 days, the house was all peace. I was serene and peaceful.
are you on good terms with your mom?
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rule of the thumb: never tell your parents any more than is necessary to avoid trouble in the future.
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I admit and never deny that I am unfilial. not that I do not want to be unfilial, but how to respect and be filial to her. she doesnt command my respect. plus she is sibeh superstitious and ultra KPO.
when I was younger in the 90s, when I left house to go down to 7-11 to buy things to eat at midnight, she open the door and came out to see where I was going. my old flat is only 5 storey high then.
I remembered once I left house at 2-3am to go out, she also came out and open the door to see where I am going. I was like wtf man.
I always locked my bedroom, if not, she will come into my room. Simply I cannot stand her.
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2-3am go out.. which mother will not worry?
i feel sad for your mum, bring you up and yet still nag about it.
are you married? are you stay in your parents house or your own house?
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TS,
I do emphatize with u - however, i would suggest that accepting her for what she is as opposed to wishing, wanting or desiring her to be .... add on, is simply unworkable .
Frankly, it is not going to happen. Why endure when u can accept and let-go.
As for the past, it is dead - u holding onto it in your 'head' is weighing u down. It is accumulated emotional poison - now its baggage - both emotional as well as psychological. Let-go is a stance i would encourage.
Of course, u would wonder and probably utter - it is easy to suggest, offer opinions or advice.
Please, understand this - when u hate someone/sth - it binds u, when u accept it frees u. Of course, it presupposes that u are open, receptive n amenable to change(s) within u first.
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Originally posted by Louis dave36:
I admit and never deny that I am unfilial. not that I do not want to be unfilial, but how to respect and be filial to her. she doesnt command my respect. plus she is sibeh superstitious and ultra KPO.
when I was younger in the 90s, when I left house to go down to 7-11 to buy things to eat at midnight, she open the door and came out to see where I was going. my old flat is only 5 storey high then.
I remembered once I left house at 2-3am to go out, she also came out and open the door to see where I am going. I was like wtf man.
I always locked my bedroom, if not, she will come into my room. Simply I cannot stand her.
Fark you, she's just worried for you . Wake up ur fuking idea, she's ur mom ! -
haha sometimes, i think you should just let her be... she doesnt have much time left... just let her be luh till she kick bucket lor
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if u feel this trapped and dissatisfied with ur mother, y hasn't moving out of the house occurred to u?
wouldn't that solve ur issues?
as for her habit of looking out the window to see where u're going, i think it's common lah. my mom does it all the time too.
i don't think it's issue of DNA or kinship, imo it's mostly our reaction to them. if we can simply let it pass, don't get too affected by it, or learn to filter out some of their nagging (very important), life will be easier.
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move out loh.
tok so much.
if i m ur mum, i would regret not giving u away to the ah bu nehs nehs when u were a baby.
shame on u!
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TS... my mum is around the same...
for talking loud in public, talk to her nicely and tell her u are talking dam loud.. lower down the volume...for cleanliness, force her to be clean and so on... at least she wash dishes, right?
for not keeping secrets, yes u can be angry and so on.. tell her about it, voice it out instead of hating her... and let me tell u, u are a bastard cuz friends also embarass in the public and yet we still continue to friend them... yet u hate ur mother? fucker.
for asking/looking out of her room when u go out in the middle of the night is called caring.. if u hate her for this, i suggest u go hide urself somewhere, if not u will cre8 lots of trouble in the society and to ur mother... we call these ppl trash, like u.. in chinese is called ren zha.
to summarize, u did not communicate with ur mother and when she did a mistake, u nv correct her, expect to realise her mistake all the time, if not u will hate her, and be unfilial... u are a sucker. -
Originally posted by Louis dave36:
I know, as she is not highly educated. when she talk and nag, like want to quarrel like that. in pri school, she came to my school and talk to my principal that I was not given homework to do and my teacher was summoned to the meeting.
next day I was embarrased in front of the class when the teacher talked about it.
my mum caned me in school. infront of my teachers and friends. i'm worst than you regarding this matter.
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Originally posted by VL:
Fark you, she's just worried for you . Wake up ur fuking idea, she's ur mom !
QFT. -
u will feel the different and miss the old times when one day she not with u anymore
leaving u alone for 5 days u might feel peace , but if she leave u alone permantly
then u will feel the pain that u miss her for wat she is.
those that never see the light will never understand wat is the light.
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Originally posted by Louis dave36:
no lar. the house I have no interest. given our bad blood, you think she will leave for me anything? I am in my 30s. plus if she were to pass away, I dunno if I can drop a tear or not? once she was on holiday for 5 days, the house was all peace. I was serene and peaceful.
are you on good terms with your mom?
erm I don't talk much with my mom but I don't hate her. We each live our own life don't care each other.Are you the only child? If yes the house will definetly go to you unless she wants to give to her siblings..
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A Famous Chinese Children Song 世上�有妈妈好
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiSD5z6x5IM
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Think about how she brought you up...
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Originally posted by fireng:
erm I don't talk much with my mom but I don't hate her. We each live our own life don't care each other.Are you the only child? If yes the house will definetly go to you unless she wants to give to her siblings..
I hope she leaves me alone, but the problem is she wont. If she leave me alone to live my life, I wont bother or hate her so much. her wierd habits are driving me crazy. when she nag, oh my god.
I dun talk to her, also dun visiting CNY. when she comes home, I just go into my room watching tv or surfing web.
She can give her possessions to anyone, I dun care who she gives, just leave me alone in peace will do. Yes I am unfilial. I dun really like her when I was young. all the years of nagging and wierd habits drove me to loathe her. sometimes I look upon those children who are on good terms with their mom and I envy them.
Yes the hate is consuming so much and I also dun feel good about myself. Just now over dunno what fark, she nag and nag outside and I have to go out and have some peace and I just came back home. the problem is, she bother me and I dun. I dun even talk to her anymore.
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ya its not easy to get along with your old folks from the previous generations, especially when they were born during the world war 2 era. usually they are not higly educated and properly brought up, not to mention every humans have their own wierd little habits that others may find it disgusting.
probably it would be good to move out if you cannot get along with her. I dun think you are alone in this and there are many children estranged from their parents. usually the feud begun when the child were young and were mistreated or abused by their parents.