I disliked my mom a lot
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Taking medication doesnt help, so you stopped it...?
I think you're not supposed to stop it on your own....
Why dont you visit a psychiatrist again...nowadays there are newer pills.....
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Originally posted by Louis dave36:
yes basically what the doctor said is the brain chemical inbalances in the brain like a short circuit. there are no known cure for it.
there are lots of bad thoughts in the mind at every one moment. You have to do something, like maybe washing your hands, or make a sound to make the bad thoughts go away. when i was younger, I washed my hands for a long time. now I dun. checking is another symptoms of OCD. checking as in, your lock the door already, but you wonder if you have indeed lock the door and then check the doorknob if you have lock the door. sometimes you have wash the dishes cleanly, but you reckon its not yet washed thoroughly and continue to wash them for some time. I have tried to brush these thoughts away, to no avail. I even told myself its irrational thoughts, but somehow you just cant stop it.
If you don't mind, what kind of doctor you went to? GP? or psychiatrist? If psychiatrist, what level of specialisation?
In the field of psychiatric medicine, there are general psychiatrist and specialised psychiatrist.
General psychiatrist can be houseman, doctor-on-learning rotation, junior practising psychiatrist or psychiatrist-on-the-way to acquire his/her area of specialisation.
As far as I know, specialised psychiatrist in OCD, there are only a handful of psychiatrists here with such deep and highly specialised skills.
You need not describe the symptoms to me. I know them by heart now. I have came across all sort of pychiatriatic symptons before - OCD, bulimia, suicide, schizophrenia, anorexia, alcoholism, ESP, demon possession, PTD etc
Listen to me. You need to follow up with your psychiatrist. Better still the right one, if money is not a problem for you. Your key is consistency - whether it is group therapy or medication or occupational therapy or physio-therapy, do so on consistent basis. Get it?
Be prepared for a long haul to fight your desease - both mentally and physically. If possible, get your closest or closer family member(s) or friend to be with you in this struggle.
The most important thing is you must be patient but also resolute in curing yourself.
I wish you well, my friend. Take good care of yourself. -
Originally posted by 4sg:
If you don't mind, what kind of doctor you went to? GP? or psychiatrist? If psychiatrist, what level of specialisation?
In the field of psychiatric medicine, there are general psychiatrist and specialised psychiatrist.
General psychiatrist can be houseman, doctor-on-learning rotation, junior practising psychiatrist or psychiatrist-on-the-way to acquire his/her area of specialisation.
As for as I know, specialised psychiatrist in OCD, there are only a handful of psychiatrists here with such deep and highly specialised skills.
You need not describe the symptoms to me. I know them by heart now. I have came across all sort of pychiatriatic symptons before - OCD, bulimia, suicide, schizophrenia, anorexia, alcoholism, ESP, demon possession, PTD etc
Listen to me. You need to follow up with your psychiatrist. Better still the right one, if money is not a problem for you. Your key is consistency - whether it is group therapy or medication or occupational therapy or physio-therapy, do so on consistent basis. Get it?
Be prepared for a long haul to fight your desease - both mentally and physically. If possible, get your closest or closer family member(s) or friend to by with you in this struggle.
The most important thing is you must be patient but also resolute in curing yourself.
I wish you well, my friend. Take good care of yourself.the psychiatrist I saw last time was quite well known. he even appeared on tv show in the late 90s. seeing him is useless lar. he basically put his stethoscope and hear my heartbeat. then he presribed medication for me, thats all. everytime I went to see him is the same thing. no discussion whatsoever with the cause and so on or even asking about my childhood days or life in general. I even asked him if there is a cure and he didnt replied me.
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Originally posted by Louis dave36:
the psychiatrist I saw last time was quite well known. he even appeared on tv show in the late 90s. seeing him is useless lar. he basically put his stethoscope and hear my heartbeat. then he presribed medication for me, thats all. everytime I went to see him is the same thing. no discussion whatsoever with the cause and so on or even asking about my childhood days or life in general. I even asked him if there is a cure and he didnt replied me.
You have the right to change your psychiatrist if you comfy with the current one.
But trust me on this - you need to follow up consistently with these professionals. The sooner you start, the better it is for you. -
Originally posted by Louis dave36:
the psychiatrist I saw last time was quite well known. he even appeared on tv show in the late 90s. seeing him is useless lar. he basically put his stethoscope and hear my heartbeat. then he presribed medication for me, thats all. everytime I went to see him is the same thing. no discussion whatsoever with the cause and so on or even asking about my childhood days or life in general. I even asked him if there is a cure and he didnt replied me.
omg what kind of psychiatrist is that. no different seeing a GP, go in there hear your heartbeat and then prescribe you with medications.
did he even offered you the type of treaments available or discussed what condition you are suffering or even asked you questions? our doctors in singapore really lack in communication these days.
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Originally posted by 4sg:
You have the right to change your psychiatrist if you comfy with the current one.
But trust me on this - you need to follow up consistently with these professionals. The sooner you start, the better it is for you.lol changed? stopped seeing him already lar. what if the next psychiatry you see is also the same lol. then what? change again lol. and then the next one is also the same
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He may ask you general questions and you may or may not be comfy with it. Do not let such things distract you. Talk to him about this, if it really affects or discomforts you. Or you may change doctor.
There can be many reasons for doing so - maybe to warm up with you or maybe to get your general mind frame etc.
But do follow up with them, OK? These people are professionals and professionally trained to help you. -
The same goes for my brothers... well, we cannot choose our family so just bear with them.
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Originally posted by caleb_chiang:
The same goes for my brothers... well, we cannot choose our family so just bear with them.
you mean your brothers got OCD?
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how would you feel if your kids treat you like that?
try to understand her damn it. because you ignore her, she wants to get close to you. think about it.
i think you wont because you are so naive even when your so old.
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try hugging her out of the blue.
it works.
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All elderly ppl are like tt one.. Talk loud, kpo in our sense and nags.. even my mum who's 43 nags la, lest ur mum who's alr.70plus..
and also bring her for a checkup.. maybe she got some hearing probs or eyesight probs.. as much as u dislike her doings, dun forget.. She IS ur MOTHER..
if u reali cant live with her then move out lo.. im not sure if u are still staying with her and complaining is cux u dun hv e ability to get a hse.. if it is so, instead of grumbling everyday, hating her everyday, why not TRY to accept it and start to love her? u dun wan to start regretting when she's not around anymore..
may be hard since u alr hate her so much, but think abt it.. and u being a 30plus yr old man u shld act like a grown up man alr.. dun be so childish and act like a child..
put urself in her shoes.. if u were a parent urself and ur child treat u this way, how would u feel?
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she's 70+ y.o leh, what you expect? lol. dunt ell me u want her to be english-educated and sophisticated. lol. probably she has a hard life and upbringing in the past, just give her some break. no matter what she did to u, don't be mean to her, she will realise your filialness sooner or later and u wun hv any karma. lol
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Love and hate often comes together, contradictingly. Seriously, sometimes we may not always understand the things that our parents do, but it's most probably done out of kind intentions. I can empathise with your situation, but then again, nobody's perfect. Be grateful that she still cares enough to nag, though I am sure it's a tiresome thing to hear the same thing over and over again everyday and live with her daily mess. If it's really not tolerable, you may want to consider moving out. You might see things differently when she's not by your side. :) Give her the support she needs, while at the same time, giving yourself some space. Communication and understanding will help too.
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Originally posted by faith80:
Love and hate often comes together, contradictingly. Seriously, sometimes we may not always understand the things that our parents do, but it's most probably done out of kind intentions. I can empathise with your situation, but then again, nobody's perfect. Be grateful that she still cares enough to nag, though I am sure it's a tiresome thing to hear the same thing over and over again everyday and live with her daily mess. If it's really not tolerable, you may want to consider moving out. You might see things differently when she's not by your side. :) Give her the support she needs, while at the same time, giving yourself some space. Communication and understanding will help too.
why are you bumping stuff more than a month old up -__-
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Originally posted by Louis dave36:
I dunno if I can use the word hate, but I cannot stand the sight and sound of my mom. she is in her early 70s, stubborn, talks loud and is not a hygienic person. she embarrased me when I was young and she could not keep secrets. I have learned my lesson, not to tell her anything, less my relatives and her friends know about it.
when she cooks, the kitchen is a mess after that. you can see rice, meat and dunno what shit on the floor. the sink is also likewise, with rice, vege or some meat lying around.
I dun like to talk to her, cos she talked loudly (as if quarrelling), nag and nag at dunno what shit. she go complain to relatives that I am not telling her anything and my relatives came to ask me, how come your mom does not know what you are doing. why should I, after what I was embarrased as a child. she once said, I want to know what you are thinking and I was like wtf. what arrogance and thinking was that. you do not tell me anything about yourself, except for the old grandmother stories.
I have no feelings for her no more cos I have had it, from teens to adulthood. when she come home, I go back to my bedroom and turn on the tv volume loud. why I buy a tv in my room so that I dun have to see her in the living room anymore.
Please be more tolerance towards your own parents. Do not forget that you do not choose your parent, so never deny their existence for as long as you are alive.Every single cells in your body comes from your parents no matter how much differences you may have inside your mind.
Be grateful that you are still blessed with parents compared to many unfortunate children around the world who didn't even have the opportunity to know and be with their parents. And many more out there who realised they are unable to buy more time for their own parents no matter how much money they have in this world.
What you needed to learn is to open up your heart and accept your parents for who they are. You can have different personalities, but you cannot deny your own parents no matter what happens.
How would your future spouse and family, relatives and friends, employers and children, think about you if you can even deny your own parents?
Just because you happens to have friends who feels or made you feels that it is right for you to judge and condemns your parents now that you're smarter and more successful than them, doesn't change your heartless actions from wrong into right.
Untidy-ness and nagging are just habits derived from lifestyles. It is undeniable that your parents would still love you and accept you for who you are, despite the fact that you have heartlessly denied them.
Keeping grudges and calculative with your parents is really just a childish behaviour, and you should grow up and become a better person than who you are now ... before it is too late and your behaviour becomes irreversible.
I believe you can become alot better person with excellent behaviour than who you are now.
Don't you wished to look back at your past in your future and laughed about how silly you were in your past?
You can do it if you would focus and believe in your own goodness, because I believe they would erase and decontaminate your past and you would grow to become a better and happier person which your parents would be proud of you for as long as you lived.
Good Luck and Believe in your own goodness.
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she gave birth to you. she raised you. keep that in mind. you owe her.
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This is going round in circles.
Buddy boy, it's her house and her rules. If you don't like it, get out. You're in your 30's fer Chrissake - grow up and get your own life instead of whinging and bitching to a bunch of strangers about momma.
On top of that, momma's awful, sister's going the same way and the psychiatrist isn't up to your professional standards. Looks to me like everybody else is to blame for your woes and you're just pure as the friggin' driven snow.
Wake up.
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A lot of forumites ask you the same question ' Why haven't you move out?" But seems like you avoid answering this particular question.
If you hate your mother so much and already in your 30s then shift out! Wait! let me guess you don't have the financial capability to move out or else you would have already and wouldn't just wallow in this self-inflicted agony and complain. Face fact! You still need her to give you a roof over your head so suck it up! Don't talk big if you can't take care of yourself. And at the age of 30 something you still can't get your life in order then something is definitely wrong with your thinking and mentality. Immature. Don't everything blame on your mother. You also has a part to play in shaping your own life too.
You came across as someone without backbone to me. Only know how to complain but not taking the effort to change your life and preferred to just throw the blame on your mother. But the problem is, you don't want to change. You just want to complain and push the blame on someone else so you would look pitiful. Frankly, it's up to each individual to change. No one can change you. Lots of people who are in worse situation than you yet can turn their life around so why couldn't you?
Do you think by coming to a public forum to air your dirty linen in the public will solve your situation? I'm quite sure you would have complain this a thousand time to your 'friends' as well if you do have any at all. So, be a man and wake the hell up instead of complaining!
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TS, i'm in the same shoes as you, i oso dislik my mum.
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TS = Pathetic.
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Could your hatred accumulate bcos of the humiliation she caused when you were younger? So whatever she does, u just dislike it.....
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Originally posted by gongkia21:
TS, i’m in the same shoes as you, i oso dislik my mum.
what happened? care to share your story here?
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even though u feel so pissed about it i think you should be taking good care of that old lady. . you think you hate her to the core wait till she's gone. Wear a ear plug or something? she can keep nagging and u wont get angry. Serious.you should spend some time with her, she wouldn't be so irritating if you actually pay some attention.
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even though u feel so pissed about it i think you should be taking good care of that old lady. . you think you hate her to the core wait till she's gone. Wear a ear plug or something? she can keep nagging and u wont get angry. Serious.you should spend some time with her, she wouldn't be so irritating if you actually pay some attention.