Be brave.
Gd Luck
Hey TS,
thanks for your story - can we know what attracted you to your husband in the 1st place and how it all started or how you got together? How on earth does he even have the brains to say share husband, and possibly think that you'll accept? He sounds like the ultimate MCP... was he always like that and that was probably what you fell for?
I personally feel tat u should just move on with ur life and file for divorce, giving birth to the child is right since the child is innocent.....engage a PI if u need...i can recommend u one if u are really interested......U need evidence in the court if u want to sue ur husband for committing adultery....else u can only settle for unreasonable behaviour.....i would suggest tat u claim for both child maintenance and maintenance for ur ownself.....it would be foolish of u to let him off just becoz he earns less then u.....Btw i have a friend who use to be in the exact same situation u are in...only difference is while u are a girl, he is a guy...his ex wife cheated on him with a caucasian...initially he would try everything to save the marriage....but in the end he realizes tat nothing could be saved and finally engage a PI to prove an adulterous case and file for divorce from his ex wife.....
Originally posted by maxsee:
I personally feel tat u should just move on with ur life and file for divorce, giving birth to the child is right since the child is innocent.....engage a PI if u need...i can recommend u one if u are really interested......U need evidence in the court if u want to sue ur husband for committing adultery....else u can only settle for unreasonable behaviour.....i would suggest tat u claim for both child maintenance and maintenance for ur ownself.....it would be foolish of u to let him off just becoz he earns less then u.....Btw i have a friend who use to be in the exact same situation u are in...only difference is while u are a girl, he is a guy...his ex wife cheated on him with a caucasian...initially he would try everything to save the marriage....but in the end he realizes tat nothing could be saved and finally engage a PI to prove an adulterous case and file for divorce from his ex wife.....
Hi Maxsee,
Thanks for your advice.
Yes i am still sourcing for a PI appreciate that you could provide me the contact info so that i can contact him/her. Appreciate that.
Thanks.
Private Investigators?
just google Private Investigators Singapore
there's even one "catch cheating spouse" link..
in the meantime, do what Fatum has advised.. collect evidence of your contributions to the marriage.. this is to ensure you are not short-changed when the divorce proceedings start
PI or no PI , this marriage is game over buddy .
Realistic yes game over if he still haven't wake up .
If u are awake , keep the baby ... first and the most important .
Then u can go straight to the lawyer , when he admitted all , he is ready to seperate , no need waste money .
U all can still talk , see if things can get better .
Still got hope ......
Don't give up just yet , see if he can wake up in time .
Until really really really cannot liao , then for the sake of everybody , each go each own's way .
Too bad the child became the victim of 2 selfish acts . Initiate by 1 selfish idiot , eat liao clean mouth and go home dun wan , still want to keep the utensils .
Eat which men never eat before ? Most men did la for god's sake .
Most men eat liao clean mouth , make sure no stain , sayonara and go home . Where got continue overnight leftover ?
Tmr i will find new food , last night taste liao , must find a better taste tonight .
Your husband is pathetically portraying an image we men doesn't like .
you speak for yourself..
there are a lot of men who don't even harbour thought of being unfaithful...
there will be some who will be unfaitful of course..
but keeping it from the wife, doesn't mean the man did not go screw around..
whatever you call it, it is still a betrayal of trust.. it is adultery.. and that, no matter what, even if it is visiting a prostitute or a one-night stand, is grounds for a divorce which there is no defense against
but back to the TS...
go get a good PI so that there is no doubt during the proceedings.. the guy cannot deny it even if he wants to..
hopefully, you'll find happiness in the future...
Keep his smses as well ... they might come in handy.
Hi Jojobeach,
Initally i was trying to save the marriage for the sake of our unborn child cos i do understand it is not easy for a child to grow up from a single parent family therefore i tried to work things out with him. But apparently, i guess thing are getting out of hand and he is getting very insane with the stupid request to share husband and he dosen't even feel remorseful on all his stupid acts.
Right now, i totally give up to reconcile with him anymore. I've a PI which I am trying to engage him to take up my case.
Thank you so much for your advice.
Originally posted by jojobeach:What exactly is it you are trying to hold on to ?
You are desperately grasping at air.
You cannot force him to love you , just as you cannot force him to love the unborn child.
Take whatever material compensation you can get from him.
Plan a future minus this unfaithful man. The reason he stray from a normal marriage is not your fault, he is the one that's broken inside.
Let the other woman pick up his dirty socks and underwear. Let her do his lame ass biddings.
Don't let this man and ignorant mistress take away your self-esteem. You are capable of living your own happy life.
If he do not deny having a mistress, and readily admit it, you can save your money. No need to hire a PI. Adultery or infidelity is not a criminal offence where you need proof. Divorce is a private pettition for the dissolution of a marriage on grounds of irretrieval break down of marriage. You only have to tell the judge that you can't stand him anymore. That's all that is required. A lawyer would do that best for you.
The PI of course will not reject business, but if he is honest would advise you to save your money. You can take your own photographs, and give your own testimony.
Use the money for the lawyer.
Originally posted by Angrrry.00:
Hi Jojobeach,
Initally i was trying to save the marriage for the sake of our unborn child cos i do understand it is not easy for a child to grow up from a single parent family therefore i tried to work things out with him. But apparently, i guess thing are getting out of hand and he is getting very insane with the stupid request to share husband and he dosen't even feel remorseful on all his stupid acts.
Right now, i totally give up to reconcile with him anymore. I've a PI which I am trying to engage him to take up my case.
Thank you so much for your advice.
Ello Angrrry.00,
It is great of you as a mother to think so for your child. But I can assure you a single-parent family need not necessary be a bad one, especially when compared to a two-parent family where both parties are unhappy and the father frequently bring other women home and misconduct themselves in front of the "family".
Anyway, why are you so persistent on getting a PI first? An experienced lawyer might actually be better at handling such stuffs for you.
Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:Ello Angrrry.00,
It is great of you as a mother to think so for your child. But I can assure you a single-parent family need not necessary be a bad one, especially when compared to a two-parent family where both parties are unhappy and the father frequently bring other women home and misconduct themselves in front of the "family".
Anyway, why are you so persistent on getting a PI first? An experienced lawyer might actually be better at handling such stuffs for you.
a PI can gather evidence which a lawyer will use.
Originally posted by the Bear:a PI can gather evidence which a lawyer will use.
I mean, an experienced lawyer might have some reliable PI contacts already for such cases, so TS can leave everything for him to handle.