Am i unreasonable?
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my gf always comes over to my house. i always watch soccer but when she is around, i try not to watch. even when i m watching, if she wants to watch another channel(which is always the case) i let her watch. she also is a solitaire freak and it so happens that my com is just beside the tv. most of the time i let her play her game n watch tv but today i refused to let her play and watch. todl her to choose just one. she told em to go sleep and gave me the kinda "i wanna play n watch" look. Very pissed with her so i went to sleep. telling myself "bloody hell. everything also u want.watch play etc. then u ask em to go n sleep.$$%$@#" i shouted at her and went off to sleep.
after about 1 1/2 hours she came to my room and ask me to go play my game etc. of course i ticked her off and so piss with her so didnt talk. she kept talking but i ignore her.she say that all the while i let her do both but now why sudden change? i then told her that at my house only can play com n watch tv. both also she want to do at same time. so unreasonable! then she got angry n want to go home. sent her home and got back.
when i got back she sms me saying never will she touch my com again. i replied that its up to her. none of my business.
my question is " am i at fault? " i find that i tend to give in most of the time. (in my opinion). feel that she always take me for granted. yes she does do alot of things for me as well but i find that i m being taken for granted. so am i at fault? neutral views please..thanks.
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if u love her, dun hurt her with ur words.
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of course i love her.Originally posted by Jaws:if u love her, dun hurt her with ur words.
i also feel that i hurt her many times with my words. just dunno hwo to re-phrase my sentences. i am an outright frank person. if i think u suck i will definitely tell u straight in the face that u suck. just dunno hwo to paraphrase sometimes. -
u r rite?sometimes we r 2 frank tt we hurt others wif our hard words,then have u wonder how much we have hurt them?u n yr gf should sit dwn n have a tok properly...if i were her i will be very sad n angry...1st coz u say angry n hurtful words,2nd,u never think of my feelings....get wat i mean?i dun like ppl 2 say words that they will regret when they r angry....dun be so strong wif yr words,learn 2 control....Originally posted by yahoo.com:of course i love her.
i also feel that i hurt her many times with my words. just dunno hwo to re-phrase my sentences. i am an outright frank person. if i think u suck i will definitely tell u straight in the face that u suck. just dunno hwo to paraphrase sometimes. -
so u r saying that she is right in wanting to play both the com and tv together? and that i should give in yet again?Originally posted by curad:u r rite?sometimes we r 2 frank tt we hurt others wif our hard words,then have u wonder how much we have hurt them?u n yr gf should sit dwn n have a tok properly...if i were her i will be very sad n angry...1st coz u say angry n hurtful words,2nd,u never think of my feelings....get wat i mean?i dun like ppl 2 say words that they will regret when they r angry....dun be so strong wif yr words,learn 2 control....
yes i know my words have been too harsh which she has told me before. we always sit down and thrash things out. that in my opinion is very good so that i know how she feels. i will try to control my words, that i have told her before. just that she cant expect me to change overnite. -
i think u 2 should go out more.
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i dun mean u shld give in 2 her..there must be give n take in a healthy r/s...yr gf is wrong tt she always wan the best of both worlds....it's true ppl can't change overnite...juz tell her u need time n she shld not be 2 demanding...if u wana tok abt all these?it's best 2 go 2 a quiet palce n tok....Originally posted by yahoo.com:so u r saying that she is right in wanting to play both the com and tv together? and that i should give in yet again?
yes i know my words have been too harsh which she has told me before. we always sit down and thrash things out. that in my opinion is very good so that i know how she feels. i will try to control my words, that i have told her before. just that she cant expect me to change overnite. -
we do go out. not that we dont. i meant always come my house as in after we go out etc end up at my house. she cook for me or wat.Originally posted by kopiosatu:i think u 2 should go out more.
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ok thanks for ur replyOriginally posted by curad:i dun mean u shld give in 2 her..there must be give n take in a healthy r/s...yr gf is wrong tt she always wan the best of both worlds....it's true ppl can't change overnite...juz tell her u need time n she shld not be 2 demanding...if u wana tok abt all these?it's best 2 go 2 a quiet palce n tok.... -
i noticed smtng on ur head....a pile of sh!+...din u realised dat she just crawled onto u and sh!+?Originally posted by yahoo.com:my gf always comes over to my house. i always watch soccer but when she is around, i try not to watch. even when i m watching, if she wants to watch another channel(which is always the case) i let her watch. she also is a solitaire freak and it so happens that my com is just beside the tv. most of the time i let her play her game n watch tv but today i refused to let her play and watch. todl her to choose just one. she told em to go sleep and gave me the kinda "i wanna play n watch" look. Very pissed with her so i went to sleep. telling myself "bloody hell. everything also u want.watch play etc. then u ask em to go n sleep.$$%$@#" i shouted at her and went off to sleep.
after about 1 1/2 hours she came to my room and ask me to go play my game etc. of course i ticked her off and so piss with her so didnt talk. she kept talking but i ignore her.she say that all the while i let her do both but now why sudden change? i then told her that at my house only can play com n watch tv. both also she want to do at same time. so unreasonable! then she got angry n want to go home. sent her home and got back.
when i got back she sms me saying never will she touch my com again. i replied that its up to her. none of my business.
my question is " am i at fault? " i find that i tend to give in most of the time. (in my opinion). feel that she always take me for granted. yes she does do alot of things for me as well but i find that i m being taken for granted. so am i at fault? neutral views please..thanks. -
u pms ah?Originally posted by aHGer^83:i noticed smtng on ur head....a pile of sh!+...din u realised dat she just crawled onto u and sh!+? -
well its not about whose fault now. i think you should just call her, and apologize to her, just say sorry. but let her understand how you feel regarding her watching tv and playing your com. talk to her gently and nicely. but dun compromise. tell her that you love her (of course if you still do) and just share your feelings with her.Originally posted by yahoo.com:my gf always comes over to my house. i always watch soccer but when she is around, i try not to watch. even when i m watching, if she wants to watch another channel(which is always the case) i let her watch. she also is a solitaire freak and it so happens that my com is just beside the tv. most of the time i let her play her game n watch tv but today i refused to let her play and watch. todl her to choose just one. she told em to go sleep and gave me the kinda "i wanna play n watch" look. Very pissed with her so i went to sleep. telling myself "bloody hell. everything also u want.watch play etc. then u ask em to go n sleep.$$%$@#" i shouted at her and went off to sleep.
after about 1 1/2 hours she came to my room and ask me to go play my game etc. of course i ticked her off and so piss with her so didnt talk. she kept talking but i ignore her.she say that all the while i let her do both but now why sudden change? i then told her that at my house only can play com n watch tv. both also she want to do at same time. so unreasonable! then she got angry n want to go home. sent her home and got back.
when i got back she sms me saying never will she touch my com again. i replied that its up to her. none of my business.
my question is " am i at fault? " i find that i tend to give in most of the time. (in my opinion). feel that she always take me for granted. yes she does do alot of things for me as well but i find that i m being taken for granted. so am i at fault? neutral views please..thanks.
girls are quite eccentric at times. sometimes all they want is attention. they want to see how u react to certain things that's why sometimes they think differently from guys. the part when she came to your room already tell me that she is concern. maybe she knew that she was wrong so she came back to u. but u repeatly rejected. so take it easy bro. talk to her and sort things out. =) -
ok thanks.Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:well its not about whose fault now. i think you should just call her, and apologize to her, just say sorry. but let her understand how you feel regarding her watching tv and playing your com. talk to her gently and nicely. but dun compromise. tell her that you love her (of course if you still do) and just share your feelings with her.
girls are quite eccentric at times. sometimes all they want is attention. they want to see how u react to certain things that's why sometimes they think differently from guys. the part when she came to your room already tell me that she is concern. maybe she knew that she was wrong so she came back to u. but u repeatly rejected. so take it easy bro. talk to her and sort things out. =)
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let us noe how u n her r going on.........Originally posted by yahoo.com:ok thanks for ur reply -
maybe she just loves to multi task
just talk to her nicely lor
i think it just happens both of you don't have 'it' in common lor -
well after seeing all ur replies, i figured out i was at fault cause anyhow use my words. so i just called her. she talked very nicely to me although she is still angry. said will call me back as she is painting her nails. thanks everyone(those who helped)Originally posted by curad:let us noe how u n her r going on......... -
welcome...we all wan the best for u.Originally posted by yahoo.com:well after seeing all ur replies, i figured out i was at fault cause anyhow use my words. so i just called her. she talked very nicely to me although she is still angry. said will call me back as she is painting her nails. thanks everyone(those who helped)
btw how old r u 2? -
21 n 19 respectively.Originally posted by curad:welcome...we all wan the best for u.
btw how old r u 2? -
Give and take lah..
But you must be firm sometimes.. -
come to a compromise?
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Moral of the Story:
buy 2 TV and 2 Computer
Done... -
I have 2 coms n 4 Tvs... but my bro wanted to come to my room to watch "La Pi Xiao Sin"...!?Originally posted by Transmission:Moral of the Story:
buy 2 TV and 2 Computer
Done...
Both of U ARE at fault: she for "multi-tasking" & U for shouting "harsh" words at her... There is always a "give & take" situation. U can try dis, "She can play com + watch tv, but then she have to treat U to snacks lah..." or "she can play & watch, but next dae she can only play while U watch & vice versa..."
Or have U ever tried to L00K at her playin com while watching TV? There maybe some funny or memoriable things abt her? Her behaviour at dat time, da wae she shift her eyes btwn Tv & com, etc, etc...
Who noes? maybe U like it when she does dat, even if U cannot get to watch TV...
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Hmm...just apologise to her first.
Yet be firm and tell her that you have your limits too.
Talk things out in a hearty manner....it'll be helpful.
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how's everything?
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u hav gone into a different phase of a r/s... no longer are u and her in the honeymoon phase... it is now in the phase to recognise each other's short-coming... and come to terms with it.
It is common tat temper will flare... but control lor...control....
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i am a gentleman