Am i unreasonable?
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wah seh u noe quite alot huh mr buaya?????Originally posted by sgboy2004:u hav gone into a different phase of a r/s... no longer are u and her in the honeymoon phase... it is now in the phase to recognise each other's short-coming... and come to terms with it.
It is common tat temper will flare... but control lor...control....
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i am a gentleman -
Hieee!!Originally posted by curad:how's everything? -
hihi,i've sent a pte msg 2 u.............actually yest tried 2 send pte but cannot so type in the topic tt say duno 4get wat liao....Originally posted by M©+square:Hieee!! -
if u tink playing the comp n watching tv at the same time is unreasonable (i tink it is anyway), u shld haf said it the first time. if u didnt make any sound, den it shows that u dun mind, of cos she wouldnt tink twice abt requesting the same thing again. now u suddenly want to take something away frm her... of cos she angry lah...
it's like everytime u ta pao chicken rice, the uncle will put in plastic bag for you. it's the norm already. then one fine day he suddenly say "put in plastic bag yrself". although u dun mind putting it in yrself, but suddenly somebody takes something away from u, u will still grumble a little.
then now imagine the uncle not only ask u to put in plastic bag yrself, but say it in an impolite manner.
wats the first thing that comes to your mind? the first thing that comes to mine is "what haf i done to piss him off so much that he wants to take away a privilege from me?" -
Originally posted by curad:wah seh u noe quite alot huh mr buaya?????
howdy u curad... buaya-ed any ger gers these few days...
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i am a gentleman -
it's true but his gf shld give n take not always wanting 2 have the best of both worlds?in this case both parties r at fault,he did not tell her everything properly in the 1st place,whreas his gf shld not always want 2 watch the tv n use the com at the same time n even ask him 2 go n slp..wat's the emaning of tt...mi as a gal feels tt she's very unreasonable...........Originally posted by Malbordus:if u tink playing the comp n watching tv at the same time is unreasonable (i tink it is anyway), u shld haf said it the first time. if u didnt make any sound, den it shows that u dun mind, of cos she wouldnt tink twice abt requesting the same thing again. now u suddenly want to take something away frm her... of cos she angry lah...
it's like everytime u ta pao chicken rice, the uncle will put in plastic bag for you. it's the norm already. then one fine day he suddenly say "put in plastic bag yrself". although u dun mind putting it in yrself, but suddenly somebody takes something away from u, u will still grumble a little.
then now imagine the uncle not only ask u to put in plastic bag yrself, but say it in an impolite manner.
wats the first thing that comes to your mind? the first thing that comes to mine is "what haf i done to piss him off so much that he wants to take away a privilege from me?" -
yaya now got chance buaya as many as u can hor...2 many darlings liao u.........hahaOriginally posted by sgboy2004:
howdy u curad... buaya-ed any ger gers these few days...
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i am a gentleman -
watch your words lor but she is really unreasonable!!! Ticking her off might do some help!!!
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Me slow.... dun get da conversation btwn Curad & frens...
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haha wat u duno?Originally posted by loneryu00:Me slow.... dun get da conversation btwn Curad & frens...
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If there's any situation which you feel that you're unhappy about with her (especially the ones which you feel that are getting out of hands), you should try talking to her about it... If you wait till your arteries are about to burst then you're willing to take actions, you'll just have to face the 'music'.....Originally posted by yahoo.com:my gf always comes over to my house. i always watch soccer but when she is around, i try not to watch. even when i m watching, if she wants to watch another channel(which is always the case) i let her watch. she also is a solitaire freak and it so happens that my com is just beside the tv. most of the time i let her play her game n watch tv but today i refused to let her play and watch. todl her to choose just one. she told em to go sleep and gave me the kinda "i wanna play n watch" look. Very pissed with her so i went to sleep. telling myself "bloody hell. everything also u want.watch play etc. then u ask em to go n sleep.$$%$@#" i shouted at her and went off to sleep.
after about 1 1/2 hours she came to my room and ask me to go play my game etc. of course i ticked her off and so piss with her so didnt talk. she kept talking but i ignore her.she say that all the while i let her do both but now why sudden change? i then told her that at my house only can play com n watch tv. both also she want to do at same time. so unreasonable! then she got angry n want to go home. sent her home and got back.
when i got back she sms me saying never will she touch my com again. i replied that its up to her. none of my business.
my question is " am i at fault? " i find that i tend to give in most of the time. (in my opinion). feel that she always take me for granted. yes she does do alot of things for me as well but i find that i m being taken for granted. so am i at fault? neutral views please..thanks.
Loving her does not mean giving in to all her unreasonable demands... Doing so would only deteriorates your relationship on the long run and make both of you SUFFER..... Let her understand that you're doing so for the sake of keeping your relationship alive and hope that she'll understand...? -
I'm YOUR BOSS !!Originally posted by Spetznaz:u gotta show her whos da boss
gif in and she will b over u in no time
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THANKS to all for ur different views. really made me look at things from different angles. yesterday nite had a talk with her. she says wont touch my com again then i told her not to be so foolish.. .but its up to her. then she gave me her point of view. say that when my mum watch tv n me play com she also left in the same kinda situation of doin nothing but she dun complain. then only i felt very sad that i hurt her with my words.
i think sgboy said something that is very true.. now is no more honeymoon... now is the period to handle each others shortcomings. i will look into that perspective from now onwards and try to be more tolerable and obliging.(am i making a mistake here?). The bad part is that i m not goin to meet her till about monday coz she already made plans to go out with her frenz much earlier in the week. so this arguement between us could not have come at a much better time..
Anyway we are on talking terms again.. she called me to check up on me if i was back safely from my trip to our neighbouring country to have some fun(shopping etc) with my frenz. now i can just stay at home(or go out) and hope for monday to come by asap. -
it's gd...btw how long have u been wif each other?Originally posted by yahoo.com:THANKS to all for ur different views. really made me look at things from different angles. yesterday nite had a talk with her. she says wont touch my com again then i told her not to be so foolish.. .but its up to her. then she gave me her point of view. say that when my mum watch tv n me play com she also left in the same kinda situation of doin nothing but she dun complain. then only i felt very sad that i hurt her with my words.
i think sgboy said something that is very true.. now is no more honeymoon... now is the period to handle each others shortcomings. i will look into that perspective from now onwards and try to be more tolerable and obliging.(am i making a mistake here?). The bad part is that i m not goin to meet her till about monday coz she already made plans to go out with her frenz much earlier in the week. so this arguement between us could not have come at a much better time.. Anyway we are on talking terms again.. she called me to check up on me if i was back safely from my trip to our neighbouring country to have some fun(shopping etc) with my frenz. now i can just stay at home(or go out) and hope for monday to come by asap. -
hmm..together for about a yearOriginally posted by curad:it's gd...btw how long have u been wif each other? -
yr honeymoon so fast over?usulally it's abt 2 yrsOriginally posted by yahoo.com:hmm..together for about a year -
i tink most important is mus give in towards each other....mus b understanding if nt,...tis kinda of quarrel will always go on.....nt oni on tv or com....can b other tings aso.......so...i tink u shld tok to ur gf nicely on hw u feel...
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haha honeymoon so long one ah??Originally posted by curad:yr honeymoon so fast over?usulally it's abt 2 yrs
maybe its cause we know each other for like 3 years already??
anyway to me still honeymoon lah.. just tt sometimes i feel she dun give a damn abt me.. as when she gets pissed off etc. -
ok i will.. after reading all ur replies.. i feel that i have not looked at things from different angles. from now on.. i will try.. else will come in here and ask for ur angles again.Originally posted by Xiao Long Nu:i tink most important is mus give in towards each other....mus b understanding if nt,...tis kinda of quarrel will always go on.....nt oni on tv or com....can b other tings aso.......so...i tink u shld tok to ur gf nicely on hw u feel...
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Dear yahoo.comOriginally posted by yahoo.com:my gf always comes over to my house. i always watch soccer but when she is around, i try not to watch. even when i m watching, if she wants to watch another channel(which is always the case) i let her watch. she also is a solitaire freak and it so happens that my com is just beside the tv. most of the time i let her play her game n watch tv but today i refused to let her play and watch. todl her to choose just one. she told em to go sleep and gave me the kinda "i wanna play n watch" look. Very pissed with her so i went to sleep. telling myself "bloody hell. everything also u want.watch play etc. then u ask em to go n sleep.$$%$@#" i shouted at her and went off to sleep.
after about 1 1/2 hours she came to my room and ask me to go play my game etc. of course i ticked her off and so piss with her so didnt talk. she kept talking but i ignore her.she say that all the while i let her do both but now why sudden change? i then told her that at my house only can play com n watch tv. both also she want to do at same time. so unreasonable! then she got angry n want to go home. sent her home and got back.
when i got back she sms me saying never will she touch my com again. i replied that its up to her. none of my business.
my question is " am i at fault? " i find that i tend to give in most of the time. (in my opinion). feel that she always take me for granted. yes she does do alot of things for me as well but i find that i m being taken for granted. so am i at fault? neutral views please..thanks.
Your situations is a small thing, yet somehow it isn't that small. Mundane because its only a TV and a Computer affair - does it really require a blow of temper? However, the not-so-small issue is not regarding the surface - its regarding the way you people are treat each other and all relating characteristic of your doing.
I will definitely speak if my gf were to say something like 'all the while i let her do both but now why sudden change?' - To love someone is to her have the best - HOWEVER it time to realise that your pleasure is at my expense. So if she blurted out that statement - guess she is not very appreciative eh? It has absolutely nothing to with her computer, TV, etc - its got to do with *that* statement by itself which holds alot of meaning to her character
(Just for fun, she a Taurus, Virgo or a Capricorn? - accuracy not guaranteed
)
Regardless of what - you feel that your honeymoon is over and its time to accept each other short coming. The real thing is to achieve like a gentleman and lady YET trying to improve one another. Communication holds the key to this.
Since you people have problem when she is at home - to minimize such tendancy to quarrel over real small matter. One good solution apart from compromising and talking things out is that - Don't go your house. Shop around, do something else then send her home. A good date for both to be happy with and reducing conflicts over a computer and TV - that's will be a better alternative in the long run.
Cheers -
nah she is neither of the astronomical signs u quoted. (can i not tell u which? sorry!)Originally posted by Yunhaier:Dear yahoo.com
Your situations is a small thing, yet somehow it isn't that small. Mundane because its only a TV and a Computer affair - does it really require a blow of temper? However, the not-so-small issue is not regarding the surface - its regarding the way you people are treat each other and all relating characteristic of your doing.
I will definitely speak if my gf were to say something like 'all the while i let her do both but now why sudden change?' - To love someone is to her have the best - HOWEVER it time to realise that your pleasure is at my expense. So if she blurted out that statement - guess she is not very appreciative eh? It has absolutely nothing to with her computer, TV, etc - its got to do with *that* statement by itself which holds alot of meaning to her character
(Just for fun, she a Taurus, Virgo or a Capricorn? - accuracy not guaranteed )
Regardless of what - you feel that your honeymoon is over and its time to accept each other short coming. The real thing is to achieve like a gentleman and lady YET trying to improve one another. Communication holds the key to this.
Since you people have problem when she is at home - to minimize such tendancy to quarrel over real small matter. One good solution apart from compromising and talking things out is that - Don't go your house. Shop around, do something else then send her home. A good date for both to be happy with and reducing conflicts over a computer and TV - that's will be a better alternative in the long run.
Cheers
and u r right! communication is a key part in a relationship i feel. and we do communicate about EVERYTING. from what her mum thinks to wat mine thinks to almost everything. unfortunately the extreme frankness and truthfulness of my character has hurt her sometimes. i have also told her when my mum disliked what she did once etc(but my mum didnt want me to say out but i did!! bad move!! felt guilty when i keep something from her) but now i have wisened up n keep bad things from her(now no more bad comments oledi as all my family members accept her) so yes i do communicate with her all the time. just love it when we can talk about ANYTHING. i never had this feeling before as i do not talk problems out with my frenz. i always handle them alone until i met her
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dono 6th sense tell me ealier tat ur mum mayb dn like ur gfOriginally posted by yahoo.com:nah she is neither of the astronomical signs u quoted. (can i not tell u which? sorry!)
and u r right! communication is a key part in a relationship i feel. and we do communicate about EVERYTING. from what her mum thinks to wat mine thinks to almost everything. unfortunately the extreme frankness and truthfulness of my character has hurt her sometimes. i have also told her when my mum disliked what she did once etc(but my mum didnt want me to say out but i did!! bad move!! felt guilty when i keep something from her) but now i have wisened up n keep bad things from her(now no more bad comments oledi as all my family members accept her) so yes i do communicate with her all the time. just love it when we can talk about ANYTHING. i never had this feeling before as i do not talk problems out with my frenz. i always handle them alone until i met her -
Second attempt!Originally posted by yahoo.com:nah she is neither of the astronomical signs u quoted. (can i not tell u which? sorry!)
and u r right! communication is a key part in a relationship i feel. and we do communicate about EVERYTING. from what her mum thinks to wat mine thinks to almost everything. unfortunately the extreme frankness and truthfulness of my character has hurt her sometimes. i have also told her when my mum disliked what she did once etc(but my mum didnt want me to say out but i did!! bad move!! felt guilty when i keep something from her) but now i have wisened up n keep bad things from her(now no more bad comments oledi as all my family members accept her) so yes i do communicate with her all the time. just love it when we can talk about ANYTHING. i never had this feeling before as i do not talk problems out with my frenz. i always handle them alone until i met her
Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius? (Of course you have the right not to tell me... I am just doing it for fun sake. )
Regardless of what that may happen, as long as you did learn the trades and the effective ways of doing - you are successful. Failures are those who never learn.
Its really nice to know that you could speak everything under the sun with your gf - even thought common sense tells you its important - people just not understand exactly HOW important is important. You have the chemistry when communicating - it benefits you for the entire lifeline of this relationship - provided she don't ruin the trust within the relation.
Cheers (I know things will turn out better for you, thats if you want. Jia you! ) -
yup initially didnt like.. but now quite the opposite.. my mum loves her.. haha...Originally posted by Xiao Long Nu:dono 6th sense tell me ealier tat ur mum mayb dn like ur gf -
well u r rite.. of the 3 new astrological signs.. both she and me belong to two of the 3 u quoted.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Second attempt!
Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius? (Of course you have the right not to tell me... I am just doing it for fun sake. )
Regardless of what that may happen, as long as you did learn the trades and the effective ways of doing - you are successful. Failures are those who never learn.
Its really nice to know that you could speak everything under the sun with your gf - even thought common sense tells you its important - people just not understand exactly HOW important is important. You have the chemistry when communicating - it benefits you for the entire lifeline of this relationship - provided she don't ruin the trust within the relation.
Cheers (I know things will turn out better for you, thats if you want. Jia you! )