How could you?
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Remember there was a time when you genuinely cared for me ? That you said you loved me ? Was it all a lie?
What faux pas so great did i committed; that made you changed your mind?
Our promises, of growing old together, of moving to a quiet seaside to live final years together after our children are all grown up, -everything, all gone.
I promised you my unequal love, care and fidelity, and I've never once broken them;
I've promised you space,patience and understanding, and I've yet to breach any;
And now, how could you let me to rot alone?
How could you be so cold to me all of a sudden without any reason?
You used to genuinely cared for me, loved me, and yet, it doesn't bother you one bit, now, every single day, knowing full well that I'm dragging my wound on the sand of time,every minute of the day thinking of you.
Your precious text reply, your even rarer msn chat, once was so abundant that I basked in the wealth of your love everyday, now gone.
And in the process of giving you up completely, you came back, and pulled me nearer, gave me false hope, again and again, and like a fool I thought our relationship is salvageable, but again and again you became cold to me again, you cut my wound deeper every time.
I don't know how long I could go on. My friends tell me to stop being stupid, that you don't deserve me; well I wouldn't know about that, but one thing for sure,I sure as heck deserve you.
...就让我继ç»å†�骗自己,一天给自己一个å�‡çš„希望, 创建一个虚å�‡çš„微笑...
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i have in no freaking idea who you are, even though you made a moving speech
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go ahead, vent it all out.
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TS, share with us how it all came to the situation you described
It will help a lot
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I'm just shouting out my pain.
Lack the strength or courage to give up completely;
beginning to run out of endurance for the pain.:(
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Originally posted by zeroplasma:
I'm just shouting out my pain.
Lack the strength or courage to give up completely;
beginning to run out of endurance for the pain.:(
scream all you want then....
bottled emotions can cause explosions....
the shoutbox can also be used
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Relax. Just swear to all things holy you aren't a clone and we're here to help.
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We talked our future, planned our path to be together, but she suddenly turned cold. Told me I was being too possessive, I said fine, like I promised you, I would change anything for you. But then it was never the same again.
Every time I asked her to give me an answer,that it's ok for her to take more time to accept me, I am willing to wait, but for god's sake dont be so cold to me, She would just stop chatting completely, and told me not to be so "emo". She can't tell me to totally give her up, but she wouldnt let me be with her either, there is never any definite answer.
Just told me to not be too emo. I cried, she just casually said dont be too emo.
I really dont know what she is thinking. If she's testing my patience, why cant be a little bit ore friendly to me? Why must...be so..chatting with me whenever she feels like it, and completely unresponsive whenever she dont feel like chatting?
I cant call her, cause she never wanna talk about it, and not answering at all.
I chose to wait, in the hope that someday, out of her coldness, the warmth that we once shared will resurface again...i really hope so..
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im not a clone. used to hang out here, but been some time since i last active.
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Resorted to smoke when my 4years r/s ended last time.
Some ppl say smoking makes them forget
for me smoking when getting my heart broken made me courageous to face the pain.
Then I met this girl, she made me promise not to smoke,gamble,or drink again.
Feeling that she genuinely cared for me and wanted a future together, i blissfully made the promise.
I really don't want this to have the same ending of my previous one again. This is too beautiful to end it that way.
:(
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So how old are you, TS?
i think you deserve better though
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23, final year degree program, part time tutor.
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Can feel for you though
Dump her if she treats you like a toy
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thanks for the input...any other advice?...could really use someone to talk to me about this..
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think of it this way - it was too beautiful to last.
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well do you love her enough to put up with her bouts of hot and cold? what do you want in a relationship? If it's constant affection and she being there whenever you need her,she might not be the one for you.
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Who wouldnt want constant affection and being there whenever we are in need of each other? She used to be like that, perfection, but it all changed. Evertyhing.
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boy, keep some pride... stop crying in front of her; it only shows her how "weak" you are. i'm not here to bash you, seriously i'm not.
i've been through so many relationships and at the age of 28, i can sincerely tell you that women will deem you weak the moment you "beg" them to stay. if you cry when your pet dog dies, they will see you as a sensitive guy. if you cry when watching Braveheart got beheaded for the sake of freedom, they will see you as an affectionate person but the moment you cry begging them to stay, you are off the macho man list.
i know the desire of being loved and returning love is great in you but you have to let her go and show her that you can live better off without her. you are in your final year? good; don't lose focus.
she is as good as gone... make that decision, DUMP her and move on. she is not asking you to give her up completely cos' she wants you as a spare tire if the circumstances calls for it. don't be the spare tire. you are definitely worth more than that. so listen to "i will survive" and delete that name off your phone, delete those SMSs and delete her profile from MSN or even Facebook. move on, show her that you are going to "live" without her and stick by it. in time, who knows? she might realise that you are truly the one only nice to her. by then, you might already be long gone from her radar.
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Originally posted by novelltie:
boy, keep some pride... stop crying in front of her; it only shows her how "weak" you are. i'm not here to bash you, seriously i'm not.
i've been through so many relationships and at the age of 28, i can sincerely tell you that women will deem you weak the moment you "beg" them to stay. if you cry when your pet dog dies, they will see you as a sensitive guy. if you cry when watching Braveheart got beheaded for the sake of freedom, they will see you as an affectionate person but the moment you cry begging them to stay, you are off the macho man list.
i know the desire of being loved and returning love is great in you but you have to let her go and show her that you can live better off without her. you are in your final year? good; don't lose focus.
she is as good as gone... make that decision, DUMP her and move on. she is not asking you to give her up completely cos' she wants you as a spare tire if the circumstances calls for it. don't be the spare tire. you are definitely worth more than that. so listen to "i will survive" and delete that name off your phone, delete those SMSs and delete her profile from MSN or even Facebook. move on, show her that you are going to "live" without her and stick by it. in time, who knows? she might realise that you are truly the one only nice to her. by then, you might already be long gone from her radar.
Thank you so much for your words. I have many friends who guides me, but never know the best advice comes from a complete stranger. For the record I did not cry in front of her, but I did acknowledge her that I cried.
I would have you know that your precious time spent on typing all those words truly made a difference to a young man. Thank you for your subtle yet powerful and moving guidance. -
no worries; i just want you to survive this ordeal for if "it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger".
be proud, for you will survive this. all you needed was a direction and i hope i have pointed it out for you yet, you must walk this alone and with determination. do not falter, do not look back. remember; she do not, and i repeat she DO NOT deserve you.
take a day, a bright morning and execute that decision, make that change to delete her from your life. from what you've written, she has stop you in your tracks, in your life and unless you step out of it, you will dwell in that well of pain. now, climb out of it... and move on. i know the nights will be a little tortureous in the beginning but good friends and family can assist you in your recovery... a pet could also do the trick. do not allow your mind to wander, do not allow it to reminisce the old days with her. an intensive workout at the gym could help you sleep better and at the same time, get you into "perfect" physical condition. (now girls, don't rush; take a queue no.)
the best you can do is to achieve your highest potential, to be the best you can and let her know that she has missed out on a great man. women desire a confident, well to do (not filthy rich but able to afford a good life) and responsible man which i believe you are a potential candidate. a degree is a good start and with a good physic and grooming, you can attain a new level of self-confidence which you never know you could have until now. remember; the trick is to drive towards this goal: "let her know your life is better without her and she losing you is the biggest mistake she ever made"
with that in your focus and mind; work towards it... it will take time but time is on your side young man.
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Can't believe that u have been thru such relationship twice in a row...i remember that i used to be in a similar situation...one thing for sure i learn....once love is gone it is gone....just got to move on....no point begging her or watsoever.....u only degrade urself in her eyes.......dun take her seriously anymore.....if she wants to go let her go.....ghosh...not like there is only one pebble on the beach......u wun die being single......><"
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i know 100% how u are feeling.
few months ago,i was in your shoe.
like yours,we promised each other everything. telling the other that we will never ever leave for another. showing much love than i did imagined in the beginning. we lived quite a distance,yet,we always managed to overcome it somehow. everything was pefect and beautiful. we gave each other love and attention whenever the other wanted. we did EVERYTHING a married couple could possibly did. everything was bliss.
then it begins,the lies.
it was minor,yet,i did told her in the beginning not to.
i have trust issues.
there was once i found out she was lying. i stomped out of her house angrily. she followed me and begged for forgiveness. times and times again,i forgave her.
then came this new guy who she gets to know in school. he liked her. he know very well she has a bf,yet he could do this kinda thing and put his toes into our relationship. any decent guy wouldnt had did this knowingly. i told her that he isnt a good guy. he didnt care bout any of our feelings. i thought she was stronger from all the things she told me previously. yet i was wrong. things start to fall even further between us....
it's funny how this world works.
the dreams in which u're dying are the best u ever had.
i learned not to give 100% to whichever relationship u are in.
i learned there's no such thing as perfection.
i learned there's assholes around who go up breaking others.
i learned that fidelity's overrated in this age.
well,i just blame myself for knowing her.
yes love shldnt be resentful but thinking bout wat happened,i wouldnt call this love.
good luck to all of us :) -
ur welcome .
to vent it all out is only human, but when u're done, do decide what u want. if u're sure she's the right one for u, what's the harm in seeking reconciliation? it's ur right to pursue what u want. if u r the best for her and u know it better than she does, prep urself up, get ur act together n win her back asap. with the right timing and patience plus luck, u still have chance de lar.
if u decide to move along, then just like what they suggested, put i will survive on repeat mode. be done with all that romantic projection about love, be done with the hurt and ur goodbyes, exchange all items and cease contact forever. don't think about her, don't talk about her, don't see her. u'll move on soon enough. we're human, genetically programmed to evolve, change and move on mentally/physically.
chin up dude.
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thank you all. i waking up today, stopped sighing, and suddenly realized that today is a good day.
once i stop sighing and feeling sorry for myself, many things turned out to be better.
this is a great board with helpful individuals. thank you all again for the replies and private messages, you are true credit to this helpful board. please keep up the great work for anyone in the future that might need help.
:)
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hey, this version of "i will survive" by Cake is not too bad. thanks soleachip. both versions have their own focus so zeroplasma, download both and put them in replay mode...
it got me through some of my break-ups and it is a very "powerful" song to motivate your day... another song i'll recommend is Robbie Williams - "No Regrets". if the break up left you with a bitter taste listen to this... channel anguish into anger and convert anger into energy...
anger is a very powerful force... but use it wisely and carefully, you have a source of abundant energy.