I have a Social-Communication Problem with friends
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I hardly have any friends at school. I think I knew why that was so.
Im on both extreme sides, either too talkative or too quiet. Sometimes when I started talking, I didnt really know y I dominate most of the conversation and start branching out into several topics. Im quiet when I dun have any idea of what to say. "You are starting to scare ppl off" one of my electives friend just told me over the phone. Any advice on this? -
If Im actively talking, ppl say that Im weird, but if Im quiet, ppl find me weird too.
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suay means suay
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oei !Originally posted by kopiosatu:suay means suay -
well, i would suggest that you find out from that friend why he finds you weird. talk to him maturely and accept whatever he may says. we are all different so don't worry about the problem. what's important now is to identify the problem and do something about it. =) CHEERSOriginally posted by orange_oceanz:I hardly have any friends at school. I think I knew why that was so.
Im on both extreme sides, either too talkative or too quiet. Sometimes when I started talking, I didnt really know y I dominate most of the conversation and start branching out into several topics. Im quiet when I dun have any idea of what to say. "You are starting to scare ppl off" one of my electives friend just told me over the phone. Any advice on this? -
hahaha...Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:oei !
i know i know, insensitive answer -
Ok...most people don't say anything
when they don't have anything to say
Just a small question
you born in may-june? -
okay basically remember this
know when to speak, know when to keep quiet...
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No way. They would get mad at me if I ask them of what they think of me.
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You have to get ur social problem solved asap! Otherwise u suffer in the next couple of years!Originally posted by orange_oceanz:No way. They would get mad at me if I ask them of what they think of me.
find a friend or classmate of urs and ask that person to give advices, be INITIATIVE and CONFIDENT! -
speaking is an art i would say.talking with ur friends would be a gd start to solving ur problem.dun pressure urself to improve immediately.just let things flow naturally...
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just try to be yourself, more natural..
i don;t think there's anything wrong with your attitude.. -
Originally posted by Forever84:Ok...most people don't say anything
when they don't have anything to say
Just a small question
you born in may-june?
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me also like that. sometimes i will tok and tok.. but all rubbish.. but sometimes when i pms i will just keep my month shut.... and give very eng siew lind of smile...
but my firends neber say anything... -
i tink tat is ur character...diff ppl gt diff character
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Realise why this could be happening to you and why others ain't having this problem?Originally posted by orange_oceanz:I hardly have any friends at school. I think I knew why that was so.
Im on both extreme sides, either too talkative or too quiet. Sometimes when I started talking, I didnt really know y I dominate most of the conversation and start branching out into several topics. Im quiet when I dun have any idea of what to say. "You are starting to scare ppl off" one of my electives friend just told me over the phone. Any advice on this?
The answer to this mystery lies within the feel you give to people. When people are on two extreme ends - the feel they give is very different - something like a werido or wearing a mask kind of feeling. To others, they will think that being quiet is the real you and when you start babblering your conversation, people impression will be like 'hey, Orange isn't that quiet afterall.' But then the next time they were see you, etc - you kept very quiet again - you will be sending weird signal to people who doesn't really know you and they won't take chances to know the real you based on impression - which is sadly true for people in this world.
Since you have small circle of friends, it is a natural tendancy to spark a conversation with others when the chances arises. This urge appeared to be most likely unnatural - when you wanna get to know people, to give people the impression 'you-are-so-yourself' is always the key to everything, because you will be sending the I-am-being-natural vibes around. There is no mask - people will accept you for who you are.
First and foremost you ought to work on is your self confidence. Trust me, you have no communication problem whatsoever - the thing you truely lack is self confidence in front of people. Understand why at times you kept real quiet? Its because the either you can't enter, or you don't know how to enter the conversation, therefore the key is to keep quiet. (Or the times when you really feel like being quiet - PMS, etc).
To be natural with others and yourself, is to exude self confidence. Having self confidence when others are around, you won't be on the two extreme - instead you will go with the flow and things will get better.
Cheers -
well i got the same problem... well with mostly girls...but i don't have that many guy friends either. It should be easy for you cos you are part of the same race as them, are u not? Cos of my tainted blood, i am in a completely different category of person, whereas u all fall under "Asian" i am neither here nor there, curse my parents. But anyway, too bad for u is all i can say, and i waited 4 years in sec school with the same dreadful experience of having like no friends, so my advice is go to a new school and start over. Advice: try not to be different from the crowd, be the same, be a clone, be like them, u should have no prob.
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i aso gt problem i aso v shy
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I have the same problem, and i lost many friends necause of that.somehow, it is difficult to stop.
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be urself be natural.. dun change urself to adapt others..
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so next time we will noe when u pmsOriginally posted by Qoo`~`:me also like that. sometimes i will tok and tok.. but all rubbish.. but sometimes when i pms i will just keep my month shut.... and give very eng siew lind of smile...
but my firends neber say anything... -
take time to learn and improve ! We will support u ! jia you !!
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Face it lah, i also have and i also think about it sometimes. I get very talkative with ppl whom i feel comfortable with. But sometimes i will keep very quiet..like when doing project work.Originally posted by orange_oceanz:I hardly have any friends at school. I think I knew why that was so.
Im on both extreme sides, either too talkative or too quiet. Sometimes when I started talking, I didnt really know y I dominate most of the conversation and start branching out into several topics. Im quiet when I dun have any idea of what to say. "You are starting to scare ppl off" one of my electives friend just told me over the phone. Any advice on this?
Me also have very little friends...Basically, am a loner in my cca. the " come and go" type.
Just bout two months ago,one of my new classmates just told me that i am very cold...
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lemme give my opinion here which might be somehow negative, pardon me.Originally posted by orange_oceanz:I hardly have any friends at school. I think I knew why that was so.
Im on both extreme sides, either too talkative or too quiet. Sometimes when I started talking, I didnt really know y I dominate most of the conversation and start branching out into several topics. Im quiet when I dun have any idea of what to say. "You are starting to scare ppl off" one of my electives friend just told me over the phone. Any advice on this?
the so-called "social problem" u r facing now is actually because u r being selective in ur target audience. what do i mean by that?
take a simple scenario for example, u r taking an elevator in a certain office building. inside the same elevator, there is a another 2 girls. then suddenly there's a breakdown. the elevator stops, but the lighting inside is still working. u can hear voices from outside that help is coming soon, but gotta wait a long while.
so while waiting what will u do? chat up wif the 2 girls?
i wud say it depends. depends on whether they r ur target audience. put it bluntly:
1. what if the 2 girls r pretty?
2. what if the 2 girls r ugly?
3. what if 1 girl is pretty and 1 is ugly?
u want my guess? -
Originally posted by Xiao Long Nu:i aso gt problem i aso v shy