Awkward
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hello. I have a problem pls advice
I recently feel like avoiding my boyfriend because its awkward around him nowadays. I'm not being choosy or selfish (im so sorry if i sounds like it) but often i treat him meals and stuff. Isn't it weird? really sorry for being selfish but this is not what i was expecting. When we went to clubbing together with our group of friends, i caught him dance with other girls too but when i dance with some random guys, he scold me. And when the time comes when i finally had it with him, he gave me some stern warning that i will regret it if i broke up with him. I'm really scared. Even my friends asked me to not to do this and to continue on having a relationship with him. They asked me to endure a few months with him till he get bored of me or something but i cant wait that long. pls to the girls, how u break up with such a aggresive guy? i really cant take it anymore. pls i really need help i do anything
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simi call bored of u liao? wha piang eh... u're a person... not an object...
u scared he will disturb u? then forever u will be afraid... u need to learn how tp stand up for urself... if not whole world also cannot help u...
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http://www.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/330952 ..
call this phone number here for professional help .. or talk to someone if u need -
What kind of guy tells another girl she will regret if break with him. U tell him self reflection first... who regret who later. lol
Its like going up to an unknown girl ' hey.. wanna be friends ? u will regret if u dont' Unless u really can make all her dreams come true in an instance, i suggest u kick him in the gronnads. Lots of this kind of guys. ;p come to think of it... its like.. a big majority.
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And and one thing ? Ur friends suck. lol
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I swear i tried to stand up for myself. But he's too "over power" u know what i mean. btw, pls dont call me an object. It reminds me of a whore. Im not a whore. pls understand
But he's like giving me all kind of scary excuses for me not to break up with him. I dont know what to do. And my friends doesn't suck. i love them
I try to call those people u've listed
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Originally posted by Pebbly:
hello. I have a problem pls advice
I recently feel like avoiding my boyfriend because its awkward around him nowadays. I'm not being choosy or selfish (im so sorry if i sounds like it) but often i treat him meals and stuff. Isn't it weird? really sorry for being selfish but this is not what i was expecting. When we went to clubbing together with our group of friends, i caught him dance with other girls too but when i dance with some random guys, he scold me. And when the time comes when i finally had it with him, he gave me some stern warning that i will regret it if i broke up with him. I'm really scared. Even my friends asked me to not to do this and to continue on having a relationship with him. They asked me to endure a few months with him till he get bored of me or something but i cant wait that long. pls to the girls, how u break up with such a aggresive guy? i really cant take it anymore. pls i really need help i do anything
I think you will more regret if you let him intimidate you to make you stay in this unwanted relationship.
What you scared he will do to you ?
Aggressors/abusers tends to scare you first to see how you react.
If you react like a mouse and show your fear, he knows that's your weakness and will repeatedly use it to inimidate you so that he gets his way with you.
If he dares to intimidate you again, simply tell him you have made a police report with his name, address and contact number listed. If anything happens to you, he will be the first person the police will pay a visit to.
Aggressors are cowards, they only dare to bully those who are weak.
Your friends who advise you to stay with him because they are fearful are a bunch of useless friends. Instead of protecting you, they'd rather feed you to that wolf.
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ok.. let me tell u one thing about those 'over power' guys.
pretty much comes down to 2 kinds. The ones that will give u the beat down.. n physically abuse u, and the ones that talk only. So u will know which kind he is.
Anyways good luck.
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Dearest Pebly,
Alot of girls have approached me and ask me whether they should break up with their boyfriends. I tell them that first and foremost, mutual feelings are essential in a relationship. Do you still love him? Do you still have the same feelings for him when you first laid eyes or given your heart to, initially? That isnt a hard question to answer.
Quoting from my book , "The Master Ways to Develop and Bring Your Relationships Further" Chapter 3 : Feelings. Think about the reasons why you want to break up with him? If you are upset seeing him dance with other people, tell him that..Focus on that and resolve that issue. If it had happened before and still, nothing has happened thereafter, then a breakup may be the only way out. Articulate and express the reasons with him as that will make him think that you really want to break up with him and the reasons are so predominant in the relationship.
Next, you have to ask yourself how long do you plan to be single. Do you want to quickly recover form this relationship and bounce to a new one? Or do you want to focus on your studies/career first before finding another partner?
The next chapter of my book, "The Master Ways to Develop and Bring Your Relationships Further" regarding Post BreakUps will discuss more about distancing yourself from your ex and reducing the heartbreaks.
Yours Sincerely,
The Love Meister
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Originally posted by Master -_-:
Dearest Pebly,
Alot of girls have approached me and ask me whether they should break up with their boyfriends. I tell them that first and foremost, mutual feelings are essential in a relationship. Do you still love him? Do you still have the same feelings for him when you first laid eyes or given your heart to, initially? That isnt a hard question to answer.
Quoting from my book , "The Master Ways to Develop and Bring Your Relationships Further" Chapter 3 : Feelings. Think about the reasons why you want to break up with him? If you are upset seeing him dance with other people, tell him that..Focus on that and resolve that issue. If it had happened before and still, nothing has happened thereafter, then a breakup may be the only way out. Articulate and express the reasons with him as that will make him think that you really want to break up with him and the reasons are so predominant in the relationship.
Next, you have to ask yourself how long do you plan to be single. Do you want to quickly recover form this relationship and bounce to a new one? Or do you want to focus on your studies/career first before finding another partner?
The next chapter of my book, "The Master Ways to Develop and Bring Your Relationships Further" regarding Post BreakUps will discuss more about distancing yourself from your ex and reducing the heartbreaks.
Yours Sincerely,
The Love Meister
master,
you never include a chapter about abusive relationship.
1. Should you stay in a abusive relationship because you think you love him ?
2. If your boyfriend loves you, would he be abusive towards you?
3. How to get out of an abusive relationship ?
Now that woulda be more helpful ya ?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
master,
you never include a chapter about abusive relationship.
1. Should you stay in a abusive relationship because you think you love him ?
2. If your boyfriend loves you, would he be abusive towards you?
3. How to get out of an abusive relationship ?
Now that woulda be more helpful ya ?
thats chapter 8...Chapter 8 : Bleeding Lovebut that's another story
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point _|_ in his face go off
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stupid so called "friends"
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Your friends and "boyfriend" are made of fail.
Ditch 'em all. Now.
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TS, just dump your bf...
he is not worth your time and energy....
fancy a guy intimidating a girl like that....USELESS!
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if you cant stand him, initiate break off lor.
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Originally posted by Pebbly:
I swear i tried to stand up for myself. But he's too "over power" u know what i mean. btw, pls dont call me an object. It reminds me of a whore. Im not a whore. pls understand
But he's like giving me all kind of scary excuses for me not to break up with him. I dont know what to do. And my friends doesn't suck. i love them
I try to call those people u've listed
I'm not suggesting u're an object... I'm asking u not to be one...He's giving u scary excuses? like wat? he threaten to break the law if U broke up with him? then in tat case call the police...
as for ur frenz, i presume they are centred around him and not urself... It's more like, they are more of his fren then ur's... or maybe they also kenna intimidated? i dunno but would a friend ask u to endure injustice or misery? they shld support u IMO...
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ts must take firm action
don't allow yr so-called frens influence u.
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No u guys dont get it. He's really fearsome and i dont just say it. He already knew that im going to file up a police report if things went bad on me. He's been sentence for 2 months before and tio 4 stroke cane. He said to me that if i make a police report, he dont care. He said that the prison is his best friend and its normal to him since he's been in that place before and he said he get used to the caning pain. Then he said that is nothing of what he wil do to me. And its really sucks but i really believe him because he said it really calmly like he knows that bad things really gonna happen to me.
And pls leave my friend out of this. they just scared. i understand
btw, to master-_- i do like him. but he changed and i feel upset
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Originally posted by Pebbly:
No u guys dont get it. He's really fearsome and i dont just say it. He already knew that im going to file up a police report if things went bad on me. He's been sentence for 2 months before and tio 4 stroke cane. He said to me that if i make a police report, he dont care. He said that the prison is his best friend and its normal to him since he's been in that place before and he said he get used to the caning pain. Then he said that is nothing of what he wil do to me. And its really sucks but i really believe him because he said it really calmly like he knows that bad things really gonna happen to me.
And pls leave my friend out of this. they just scared. i understand
btw, to master-_- i do like him. but he changed and i feel upset
tsk... i think he tough talk only la... he think go in prison before = something to be proud of... then let him go in lorx... must know how to protect urself... how much can he tahan if he keep going in and out??? -
Originally posted by Pebbly:
No u guys dont get it. He's really fearsome and i dont just say it. He already knew that im going to file up a police report if things went bad on me. He's been sentence for 2 months before and tio 4 stroke cane. He said to me that if i make a police report, he dont care. He said that the prison is his best friend and its normal to him since he's been in that place before and he said he get used to the caning pain. Then he said that is nothing of what he wil do to me. And its really sucks but i really believe him because he said it really calmly like he knows that bad things really gonna happen to me.
And pls leave my friend out of this. they just scared. i understand
btw, to master-_- i do like him. but he changed and i feel upset
He is deperate for you lah. This kind of xia suay threatening ways also come out liao.
If real pai kia knows , they will be calling him sissy and laughing their pants off at him.
Just ignore him, cut off all contacts, send him a copy of the police report.
He so despo to keep a woman who don't want him.. ask him to go find a prostitute lah.
Act tough onli lah,inside he is afraid he'd die without you wor. So you scare of him for what ?
Next time he guai lan again.. tell him " You want me to stay, then you better guai guai and do my biddings !!!"
Demand your diamond ring from him.
Demand he buy a BMW to fetch you and your family back and forth.
Put on a sour face when you are with his friends and family.
Throw tantrums at him when you are "forced" to go out with him.
Tell him how small his penis is and balk at it every time you see it.
BECOME THE INCORRIGIBLE GIRLFRIEND in every man's NIGHTMARE. Confirm work like a charm.
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Originally posted by Pebbly:
No u guys dont get it. He's really fearsome and i dont just say it. He already knew that im going to file up a police report if things went bad on me. He's been sentence for 2 months before and tio 4 stroke cane. He said to me that if i make a police report, he dont care. He said that the prison is his best friend and its normal to him since he's been in that place before and he said he get used to the caning pain. Then he said that is nothing of what he wil do to me. And its really sucks but i really believe him because he said it really calmly like he knows that bad things really gonna happen to me.
And pls leave my friend out of this. they just scared. i understand
btw, to master-_- i do like him. but he changed and i feel upset
nobody will get use to caning.he is bluffing
I have seen those hardcore badass who had been through detention barracks like it is their 2nd home.
They dont give a hoot about being locked up but they give a damn about some serious spanking. I have seen what those canes can do, it is an ugly sight n they have to sleep face down n they cant sit at all. if they are unlucky, the doc determine that their behind cant take all the strokes at one caning, they will go through it twice.
LOL
this type of guy only act tough.
a bully is only big if u let him be.
he is a wuss for bullying a gal, let alone his gf.
ditch him n find someone else.
someone who really care for u.
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please get out of this relationship. threats of abuse are no laughing matter. the fact that you're posting here says you're more than ready to walk out.
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Originally posted by Pebbly:
hello. I have a problem pls advice
I recently feel like avoiding my boyfriend because its awkward around him nowadays. I'm not being choosy or selfish (im so sorry if i sounds like it) but often i treat him meals and stuff. Isn't it weird? really sorry for being selfish but this is not what i was expecting. When we went to clubbing together with our group of friends, i caught him dance with other girls too but when i dance with some random guys, he scold me. And when the time comes when i finally had it with him, he gave me some stern warning that i will regret it if i broke up with him. I'm really scared. Even my friends asked me to not to do this and to continue on having a relationship with him. They asked me to endure a few months with him till he get bored of me or something but i cant wait that long. pls to the girls, how u break up with such a aggresive guy? i really cant take it anymore. pls i really need help i do anything
It is with horror and sadness that I feel for you on reading your plight. I am aware of guys who can be quite domineering and self centred, regardless if he is some gentlemanly looking scholar or tattooed chao Ah Beng. I understand my own gender species well.
Selfish and only care for their own needs without a damn to others, and when the girl wants to break off, threats come flying, sometimes fake, many times real where passion is involved. Thus I comprehend your fear.
Sometimes, courage is not enough, despite many others' advice, for the threats are real, and you certainly have no wish to come to mental or physical harm, nor would I want you to come to that stage.
Some believe a court order or protection order will bind you, but unfortunately, that works only for people who have brains and have no wish to run afoul of the law. Thus you are trapped, and too late for regrets.
It is good you share you plight here, so that many other readers may avoid getting trap as well. Macho is cool and attractive, but more often than not, the macho front is only a cover to hide deep insecurities and fear within.
The true macho ones are the quiet ones. The only time you will get to see their true worth is at times of troubles and crisis as they will calmly and intelligently shine a path for others out of adverse situations.
I have not the answers that will free you, but putting myself in the shoes of the chao ah beng, I may percieve his insight and views. To deal with an enemy is to first know and understand how he ticks.
He has an ego - his pride. To allow you to leave him, would be a blow to his presumed 'macho' image. He does not love you, for if he did, he would be sincere to you.
Dancing or flirting with other girls is never a sign of sincerity, so are threats of injury to you. You are only his toy, to parade around his friends that he is 'the can' - capable of getting a girl despite his ah bengness and jail experiences.
Thus the trick would be to allow him his stupid ego to be supreme. Make yourself boring. Shave your head (hair can grow back) and tell him its the latest fashion later. Wear boring clothes, fully covered up, and claim the weather is hot. Dont put on any more makeup and claim you are allegic to lotions. Dont splash perfume anymore, better still, dont shower, tell him you did shower and he will feel disgusted.
The keyword is 'disgust'. Make him disgusted with you. I know it may not be your way, but it is a necessary sacrifice, for your life is indeed in danger. No one else can help you except yourself. It will only be for a few weeks. Make him disgusted and dump you instead.
Forget about your pride for these few months. Once he dumps you, you will be free, to grow your hair and be the real woman you truly are, more wiser and matured, to never make the same mistake again. Avoid him, and if he intends to patch back, tell him you saw an astrologer and your stars are not right for each other. Only harm will befall. This chao ah beng is superstitious too, being an uneducated bum that he truly is.
This is only my suggestion, and only for your consideration. Most important of all, do take good care of yourself. Whatever that had happened in the past cannot be change, but you have the power to change your future. It is in your hands.
Good luck and please, please take good care of yourself.
Cheers.
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uhh pebbly, why dont you take everything you've told us, and give it to the police. He's been in prison before, which means that if he is incarcerated again, he's going to get some serious police ownage. Better still, have him illustrate some of his 'threats'. Hopefully they include threats to your life, and then he's going to be one really 'happy' kid =)