Awkward

xtreyier

18 Nov 09, 22:10

Originally posted by HyperionDCZ:

uhh pebbly, why dont you take everything you've told us, and give it to the police. He's been in prison before, which means that if he is incarcerated again, he's going to get some serious police ownage. Better still, have him illustrate some of his 'threats'. Hopefully they include threats to your life, and then he's going to be one really 'happy' kid =)

Er...I humbly apologise for intruding on your advice. This may not be a good course of action. Threats will not get the bastard into jail. He will just sheepishly apologise, and then in his chao ah beng way, intimidate her again once outside police influence.

Do consider, the police cannot be beside the TS all day and night. She will be pretty much on her own, and many things can happen. To remove the threat, it will have to come from the bastard himself, to want to stop threatening her.

TrueHeart

18 Nov 09, 22:39

Originally posted by Pebbly:

hello. I have a problem pls advice

I recently feel like avoiding my boyfriend because its awkward around him nowadays. I'm not being choosy or selfish (im so sorry if i sounds like it) but often i treat him meals and stuff. Isn't it weird? really sorry for being selfish but this is not what i was expecting. When we went to clubbing together with our group of friends, i caught him dance with other girls too but when i dance with some random guys, he scold me. And when the time comes when i finally had it with him, he gave me some stern warning that i will regret it if i broke up with him. I'm really scared. Even my friends asked me to not to do this and to continue on having a relationship with him. They asked me to endure a few months with him till he get bored of me or something but i cant wait that long. pls to the girls, how u break up with such a aggresive guy? i really cant take it anymore. pls i really need help i do anything

Hi Pebbly,

To be threatened by such a ruthless guy, I really feel for you from the bottom of my heart. Besides staying away from him yourself, you should also ask your friends to stay away from him too. If he is unable to get at you, your friends may become unwilling victims instead.

If you can get some friends who are brave enough to stand by you, you can confront him as a large group and tell him of your decision. You must let him see that you are not intimidated by him; you are not his toy. Otherwise, the only other option for you is to break up with him via SMS.

If you take the latter option, you will have to ignore his phone calls and SMSes though. However, regardless of the option you choose, if he ever try to abuse you or your friends physically, have no pity for him. Call the police and seek their help.

I wish you all the best in dumping such a heartless fiend.

Cheers.

HyperionDCZ

18 Nov 09, 22:58

Originally posted by xtreyier:

Er...I humbly apologise for intruding on your advice. This may not be a good course of action. Threats will not get the bastard into jail. He will just sheepishly apologise, and then in his chao ah beng way, intimidate her again once outside police influence.

Do consider, the police cannot be beside the TS all day and night. She will be pretty much on her own, and many things can happen. To remove the threat, it will have to come from the bastard himself, to want to stop threatening her.

threats will not get anyone into jail, but they warrant a police warning which will serve as deterrence. In addition, if there is sufficient credible evidence that her well-being is in jeopardy, legal action can be taken against the clown.

Nevertheless i find your approach better than my own.

JDGao

19 Nov 09, 00:03

TS you have to be strong on your decision... its either now or later... in future its not going to be any better also... letting him know that he can control you like that,  will only make him cont his actions... anyway he is such a loser.. use threats..

TS

parn

19 Nov 09, 00:50

Originally posted by Pebbly:

hello. I have a problem pls advice

I recently feel like avoiding my boyfriend because its awkward around him nowadays. I'm not being choosy or selfish (im so sorry if i sounds like it) but often i treat him meals and stuff. Isn't it weird? really sorry for being selfish but this is not what i was expecting. When we went to clubbing together with our group of friends, i caught him dance with other girls too but when i dance with some random guys, he scold me. And when the time comes when i finally had it with him, he gave me some stern warning that i will regret it if i broke up with him. I'm really scared. Even my friends asked me to not to do this and to continue on having a relationship with him. They asked me to endure a few months with him till he get bored of me or something but i cant wait that long. pls to the girls, how u break up with such a aggresive guy? i really cant take it anymore. pls i really need help i do anything

You can do it conveniently over SMS nowadays.

What is the worst that can happen? Acid splashed across your face, hacking you up into 111 pieces, kidnapping and raping you repeatly in his underground dungeon?

At the most you wear a bike helmet to protect against acid splash, wear king arthur's armour to prevent hacking and slashing, and of course wear chastity belt with 256bits alpha-numeric password protection against rape?

It's not easy for Singaporean to commit crimes, people who are most likely to commit crimes would not have even given you any warning at all in the first place.

Your boyfriend = paper tiger

You / Me = should shred paper tiger with paper shredder

spade1

19 Nov 09, 01:52

girls like you are such suckers for bad boys.... haha serve you right for falling for him. I bet you so many other nice guys have come after you, but you turned them away all for a hopeless case of bad gas and rotten eggs. I guess you're a real boomz girl... arh lians deserve arseholes. stick to him. I guarantee an excellent life of raging emotions. isn't that all you seek and pine for?

mlmersrlosers

19 Nov 09, 02:02

Originally posted by JDGao:

TS you have to be strong on your decision... its either now or later... in future its not going to be any better also... letting him know that he can control you like that,  will only make him cont his actions... anyway he is such a loser.. use threats..

 TS

WTF IS THIS SHIT?

mlmersrlosers

19 Nov 09, 02:03

Originally posted by spade1:

girls like you are such suckers for bad boys.... haha serve you right for falling for him. I bet you so many other nice guys have come after you, but you turned them away all for a hopeless case of bad gas and rotten eggs. I guess you're a real boomz girl... arh lians deserve arseholes. stick to him. I guarantee an excellent life of raging emotions. isn't that all you seek and pine for?

well said

mlmersrlosers

19 Nov 09, 02:23

when love becomes Lub HAHAHA

Pebbly

19 Nov 09, 09:50

i never thought of breaking him up over sms. But he know where i live. Guess i should rent a different room then. Hopefully he wont find me, if he does then my luck really sucks.

So u all think he just all talk no action kind of thing? And i dont think he wont go to such extend of torturing me. But I definitely know he will do some harm in me, i can feel it the way he talks to me. Its really scary.

And to spade, hey im really sorry ok but i dont think u understand. He isn't like this when the day we met our heart. I dont know what happen to him but he started to become aggressive a few months back. And i DO date nice guys ok. Actually he is a nice guy from the start before he turns into some demon like guy. I already feel pathetic as i am ok, slap me, rape me, beat me up and feed to the dogs.. i deserve it. ok u happy now?

playmemory

19 Nov 09, 10:47

pebbly, u r thinking too much. imagine things too much. the feeling of fear is too much to handle. u r not happy. u r looking for something in ur bf but its not there anymore. u find that u just cannot walk out of his life coz u still find hope in ur bf. pls understand that pple do changed over time. there is nothing u can do to change ur bf. i can see that u r blinded that y so many pple give u advice u also no want to listen and open ur heart. just try to wake up. open ur eyes big big. no let ur feelings control over u. then see what do u want to do next.

soleachip

19 Nov 09, 11:38

Originally posted by Pebbly:

I swear i tried to stand up for myself. But he's too "over power" u know what i mean. btw, pls dont call me an object. It reminds me of a whore. Im not a whore. pls understand

But he's like giving me all kind of scary excuses for me not to break up with him. I dont know what to do. And my friends doesn't suck. i love them

I try to call those people u've listed

pebbly,

how to break up

sms him. say "we need to talk."

prep urself and drop the bomb on him in person.

break up nicely in broad daylight in a public area.

do it respectfully, and keep ur words short and simple. *don't cry. *show no weakness.

if he shout, u don't shout. if he cry, u don't cry.

return him all the items he bought u, if he doesn't want to return u anything, then never mind.

have a female friend or an older female sibling go home with u when it's over.

post break up

after that u must *cut off all contact with him. don't reply any calls or sms. but tell him u will open one line of communication. one email a week. he got anything to say, he can email u. cut off all immediate contact but leave one road for him (the difficult and distant one).

see what happens next.

bad behavior post break up

if he lurks around where u live and confronts u in person. *don't avoid him. *don't run away. respond to him like any normal human and keep walking as u talk. but be cold - yes/no/ok/anything/nevermind/i don't know/i don't want/sorry/go away etc etc. then quickly be on ur way home.

self protection

if u see him waiting for u with another guy or a few other guys. don't even think. just run.

if he assaults u physically and kidnaps u against ur will... u can either choose to react passively or aggressively. passively means try to calm him down. or aggressively means...

fight like hell, tooth and nail. stay in the immediate scene of crime. attract attention, shout fire (don't shout help). u must stay in the 1st scene of crime and not be taken to the next cos u will definitely encounter a worse fate at the 2nd scene compared to the 1st. run with all ur might back home or to a safe place. if the situation turns aggressive, don't show sympathy. attack him hysterically, relentlessly and keep running.

u can defend urself by attacking him at his eyes, throat (adam's apple) and neck, his groin, knees.

my thoughts

i don't think the above will happen so imo, just be clear cut. be cool. be clinical. and stay out of the clubbing circle or any circle where u might bump into him for the next 6 months. he will move on. but u need to be cold and cruel first.

don't run, don't cry, don't give him gdbye hugs, don't move away. u will provoke him into confused and drastic action.

just show no emotions. sooner than later he'll leave.

*pat pat*

^Acid^ aka s|aO^eH~

19 Nov 09, 11:46

Originally posted by soleachip:

pebbly,

sms him. say "we need to talk."

prep urself and drop the bomb on him in person.

break up nicely in broad daylight in a public area.

do it respectfully, and keep ur words short and simple. *don't cry. *show no weakness.

return him all the items he bought u, if he doesn't want to return u anything, then never mind.

have a female friend or an older female sibling go home with u when it's over.

after that u must *cut off all contact with him. don't reply any calls, sms or emails.

see what happens next.

if he lurks around where u live and confronts u in person. *don't avoid him. *don't run away. respond to him like any normal human being but be cold - yes/no/ok/anything/nevermind/i don't know/i don't want/sorry/go away etc etc. then quickly be on ur way home.

be clear cut. be cool. be clinical. and stay out of the clubbing circle or any circle where u might bump into him for the next 6 months. he will move on. but u need to be cold and cruel first.

excellent suggestion... But our TS is afraid that he'll do something to her when she's alone... and I can safely presume if he appears infront of TS when she's alone, she'll be too afraid to do anything >.> Then again, i presume she'll be worried that her frenz might kenna harressed(spelling) too...

At this point of time, TS need support... And since she cant get any support from her frenz, and support from the internet is as good as empty air, TS shld really seek professional help from the help hotlines tat someone posted...

soleachip

19 Nov 09, 11:51

just inform her parents or another adult friend about this. carry her mobile at all times. that's all. no physical harm has been done. and don't date any guys for the time being. now that could drive him berserk.

Pebbly

19 Nov 09, 12:26

hey guys. thanks alot for helping, u guys are more helpful than my friends. and u know what, u guys are right all along. I mean im his girlfriend for god sake. I'm suppose to have this power over him. Yeah if i continue to be timid, i'll be forever timid. really thanks alot u guys and thanks to my ex too :) he helped me when i went to seek his help.

and soleachip, yup i think im going to take your words for the break up tips. But except for the shouting problem. Because he often yells at me and im too scared to even move. But its ok right? i mean its just yelling, like parn said, things wont go to such extend right? yes?

Yes i definitely want to try this. But not now, i do it on friday because on that day, i meeting up he and his friends at ktv. Before we go in, i plan to talk to him about the break up. Yes i really want to do this although of course i feel uneasy and little bit terrified but its ok. I let u all know after i done so. Besides my ex wants me to be with him again so i have to do this break up thing fast haha.

soleachip

19 Nov 09, 12:35

Originally posted by Pebbly:

hey guys. thanks alot for helping, u guys are more helpful than my friends. and u know what, u guys are right all along. I mean im his girlfriend for god sake. I'm suppose to have this power over him. Yeah if i continue to be timid, i'll be forever timid. really thanks alot u guys and thanks to my ex too :) he helped me when i went to seek his help.

and soleachip, yup i think im going to take your words for the break up tips. But except for the shouting problem. Because he often yells at me and im too scared to even move. But its ok right? i mean its just yelling, like parn said, things wont go to such extend right? yes?

Yes i definitely want to try this. But not now, i do it on friday because on that day, i meeting up he and his friends at ktv. Before we go in, i plan to talk to him about the break up. Yes i really want to do this although of course i feel uneasy and little bit terrified but its ok. I let u all know after i done so. Besides my ex wants me to be with him again so i have to do this break up thing fast haha.

pebbly,

let him shout. just listen and don't shout back. when he's tired of shouting he will stop.

u can sing this to preempt him. have fun at the ktv.

*pat pat*

Kenashi

19 Nov 09, 15:33

Originally posted by Pebbly:

hey guys. thanks alot for helping, u guys are more helpful than my friends. and u know what, u guys are right all along. I mean im his girlfriend for god sake. I'm suppose to have this power over him. Yeah if i continue to be timid, i'll be forever timid. really thanks alot u guys and thanks to my ex too :) he helped me when i went to seek his help.

and soleachip, yup i think im going to take your words for the break up tips. But except for the shouting problem. Because he often yells at me and im too scared to even move. But its ok right? i mean its just yelling, like parn said, things wont go to such extend right? yes?

Yes i definitely want to try this. But not now, i do it on friday because on that day, i meeting up he and his friends at ktv. Before we go in, i plan to talk to him about the break up. Yes i really want to do this although of course i feel uneasy and little bit terrified but its ok. I let u all know after i done so. Besides my ex wants me to be with him again so i have to do this break up thing fast haha.

??

u still want to go to ktv with him n his friends??

break up with him on the spot n leave.

i think it is best to break up in a public place

^Acid^ aka s|aO^eH~

19 Nov 09, 17:44

Originally posted by Kenashi:

??

u still want to go to ktv with him n his friends??

break up with him on the spot n leave.

i think it is best to break up in a public place

i think public place is safer too... He + his friend against u at KTV alone = trouble...

Lorry`

19 Nov 09, 20:01

yeah, of all places why KTV?

and when you go, are you bringing some friends along? in case shyt happens you know.

I just feel that he might do sth bad since you wanna talk to him bout the breakup with his friends around. The way you described of him made me think that he is someone who values his face a lot.

Yunhaier

20 Nov 09, 00:20

Originally posted by Pebbly:

hello. I have a problem pls advice

I recently feel like avoiding my boyfriend because its awkward around him nowadays. I'm not being choosy or selfish (im so sorry if i sounds like it) but often i treat him meals and stuff. Isn't it weird? really sorry for being selfish but this is not what i was expecting. When we went to clubbing together with our group of friends, i caught him dance with other girls too but when i dance with some random guys, he scold me. And when the time comes when i finally had it with him, he gave me some stern warning that i will regret it if i broke up with him. I'm really scared. Even my friends asked me to not to do this and to continue on having a relationship with him. They asked me to endure a few months with him till he get bored of me or something but i cant wait that long. pls to the girls, how u break up with such a aggresive guy? i really cant take it anymore. pls i really need help i do anything

Behind the facade of an aggressive man, lies a minaiture guy afraid of being hurt. Albeit he could have mask himself with the scent of aggressiveness that might allow him to score a win in a bar brawl, but he could muster no weapon against the intention of his woman desiring to leave him.

The thought of him being unable to keep his woman is almost a bruise to his raw ego - complete helplessness. This is a classic situation faced by many guys - the difference is that different people have different way of coping with it. An animalistic or 'lower level' way of managing it is to resort to the same sort of shield he exude to the world and shaped it as a threat to retain his 'partner'.

Love is emancipation and it cannot be contained by fist or anger.

The more he tries to work his strength, the further Love eludes from him. You will eventually leave him, so what's the wait for?

Cheers

Sgdevilzz

20 Nov 09, 00:25

you should break up with him in a public mall. lotsa people.

No KTV pls. dark places darkens the moods and hence he will get aggressive.

mancha

20 Nov 09, 01:33

Whatever, whether he is NATO or you deserved it, you find it difficult to dump him.

Try letting him dump you.

You liked him. Thats what boosted his ego. Now he don't want to let you go. It is established that you both are an item. And he wants to maintain that.

You can be listless, dead wood, just say you are tired, don't know what wrong with you, maybe need to see the doctor. Everyday.

Don't call him, let him call you. Everytime.

jojobeach

20 Nov 09, 02:07

Originally posted by Pebbly:

hey guys. thanks alot for helping, u guys are more helpful than my friends. and u know what, u guys are right all along. I mean im his girlfriend for god sake. I'm suppose to have this power over him. Yeah if i continue to be timid, i'll be forever timid. really thanks alot u guys and thanks to my ex too :) he helped me when i went to seek his help.

and soleachip, yup i think im going to take your words for the break up tips. But except for the shouting problem. Because he often yells at me and im too scared to even move. But its ok right? i mean its just yelling, like parn said, things wont go to such extend right? yes?

Yes i definitely want to try this. But not now, i do it on friday because on that day, i meeting up he and his friends at ktv. Before we go in, i plan to talk to him about the break up. Yes i really want to do this although of course i feel uneasy and little bit terrified but its ok. I let u all know after i done so. Besides my ex wants me to be with him again so i have to do this break up thing fast haha.

Ya just hav ta be a drama mama doncha ?

Breaking up is breaking up.. it just means you NO LONGER see that guy.

Now that your ex wants you back.. ya gotta make it a CLEAN break... else you'd end up ALONE again.

No matter how you planned the breakup.. before KTV/Before a meal/after a movie.. etc.. what ya do will still sting and rub his big ego the wrong way.

He will not accept the break up notification easier, nor will it make the breakup less abrasive. What is important is making sure YOU don't get hurt.

The easiest way is still the simplest way.

Kenashi

20 Nov 09, 10:27

get yr ex to go with u when u break up with that bully

All the best!!

cheers

Mybluemoon

20 Nov 09, 23:17

just break up with him. if he does anything, call the cops. or ask your friends to help you.