Is TRUE love a real thing?
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Hi everyone, this is my first ever post. Hope i won't get flamed or whatsoever.
I don't really believe in true love. Is there even such a thing.
Not to offend anyone, but our parents may be together because of reliance. Reliance on one another over the years. And with a son and daughter they just got to carry it on.
Think of it. You can google it. Love does really fade over time, i read about blablabla chemicals that are produced when you "love" someone but it will get lost over time. If you get too involve with your "lover" but already lost your love for her, for example you have children, you wouldnt want to tear the family up. Thus you shut up, you carry on, try to be mr nice guy and try to love her back.
can someone please educate me what true love really is? a lifetime care for your partner with an unending desire for her? or is it just reliance over time and attempts to keep the peace.
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if cash convertors accepts love to be sold, it would be a very big company. True love means you dun expect any thing in return lah. You think many people in this world can do that? So true love exists as much as truffles. It exists but you probably need a pig to sniff it out.
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if u believe then yes
if u donch believe then no -
There isn't. Be realistic people. Be realistic.
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it's someth you need to decide for yourself
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my father love me. i think that's true love.
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yes then believe
no then dun believe lor
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Google up the term "limerence".
Then read this ...
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article5439805.ece
and this ...
Then think again, about your first crush, your parents etc.
If you still think "love" is just part of our biology for survival and preservation of our species, so be it.
If you think otherwise, so be it.
But you'll probably be happier with the latter.
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thanks dejomel :D
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you have finally been enlightened TS. ..
I assume your definition of love is between a male and a female who are legally married. As both of them age, reliance upon each other has taken over love.
Love between parents and children are different though.
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no. i dont think i believe in true love.
I got this mindset from my friends who told me its somesort like their motto. and somemore due to my recent bf, i dont believe in true love anymore
'They'll just have to do it because they don't know what else to do'
'So the sex is in the streets, and it's appealing to see'
'The message is, u won't go unnoticed, because ur bad and free'
'In a sad town from singapore where no one is really happy'
'u can't get to sleep, because yr sexual fanasties keep u awake'
'They're looking at eachother like race horses (breeding potential)'
'All I want to hear is u on my message machine'
'Love is forever and love is for free'
'But Is everybody up for an actual love?'
No one does actually
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There is true love - but it develops over common interests... for 2 people they have to enjoy doing somethings together. Notice I said somethings - not just 1 thing. It has to be really something both are passionate about.
Music, art, dancing, reading, stories, movies, design, creating things, business, making money, sports, bike riding, racing,
In hard times, these common interests will hold them together.
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some guy (forgot his name) developed a theory that he called the triangle theory of love. its available on wikipedia =)
if youre cynical about it, then well i can say that humans are naturally polygamous. we were wired to be polygamous, to ensure adequate dispersal of our genes.
its a very big question youre asking. ppl actually write philosophy theses on this for their PhD. i proof-read one once, and it called into question what is reality? does that that exists in your mind exist? before it questioned love. thats the complicated version.
for me, i prefer the simple version. which is, follow your heart, youll know when the right one turns up, and if he doesn't, well you wouldn't know if loves exists or not already.
dont fall into the trap of cynicism =)
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Nobody can live on love and fresh air alone.
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thanks for all the replies . will slowly go and read all about your opinions ;)
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Love at First Sight: the overwhelming desire to see the inside of the nearest closet (pub toilet, friend's back garden, the alleyway over there et al.).
True Love: can be introduced to the family without unreasonable fear of embarrassment. On the part of the family.
Everlasting Love: a polyamorous couple who haven't had sex with each other in years.
Love Match: an alliance between kingdoms.
In Love: a momentary instance of being almost as interested in someone else as in oneself.
Loving: capable of untold amounts of suffocation.
Motherly Love: capable of untold amounts of suffocation.
Brotherly Love: forbidden by the moral laws of most world religions.
Lover: the one who comes round when your partner's 'out of town on business'.
Lovable: cuddly. In the pejorative sense (similar to the concept of 'shapely legs,' which is code for chubby). -
Love is a weakness. When you start to care, you allow emotions to rule you, to worry about another person when you can never control his/her actions. No human think alike and when disagreements crop up as is likely, disillusions surface, a part of you that spent so much time and effort in caring crumbles, leaving you in pain, a pain that need not be should you not care.
Robots are to be admired. Single mindedly, uncaring, ruthless if need be, it gets the job done. No attachment, no pain, no feelings.
But we are not robots, and can never be. We bleed, we can feel, we can sense, and we can think. And with such traits, comes emotions - elation or despair. We need to want, and be wanted, its part of our emotions that makes us human, and thus through our wants and be wanted, comes the illusive chemical need called love, an attachment to that special someone who meets our needs.
When you found that special someone in this generally uncaring cold and aloof world, who feels exactly how you feel, you will see her as closest to your mirror image - thinks as you thinks, do as you do - leads you to believe this love is true, for the mirror never lies.
But in the end,....we all are only mortal humans, doomed to make mistakes....only a belief in a better tomorrow gives us the courage to open our eyes to a new sunrise...
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Originally posted by Pebbly:
no. i dont think i believe in true love.
I got this mindset from my friends who told me its somesort like their motto. and somemore due to my recent bf, i dont believe in true love anymore
'They'll just have to do it because they don't know what else to do'
'So the sex is in the streets, and it's appealing to see'
'The message is, u won't go unnoticed, because ur bad and free'
'In a sad town from singapore where no one is really happy'
'u can't get to sleep, because yr sexual fanasties keep u awake'
'They're looking at eachother like race horses (breeding potential)'
'All I want to hear is u on my message machine'
'Love is forever and love is for free'
'But Is everybody up for an actual love?'
No one does actually
whoa....... ALL of yr ex bf did that to u?? no wonder u got such mindset...
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Originally posted by theme_and_guess:
whoa....... ALL of yr ex bf did that to u?? no wonder u got such mindset...
she say her frens motto la =p n she onli mention 1 ex u say until like alot liao lolLove is a fantasy, a term used for interest n commitment.
True love is hard or impossible to find, lust on the other hand is much easier to find n simpler to understand
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Originally posted by xtreyier:
Love is a weakness. When you start to care, you allow emotions to rule you, to worry about another person when you can never control his/her actions. No human think alike and when disagreements crop up as is likely, disillusions surface, a part of you that spent so much time and effort in caring crumbles, leaving you in pain, a pain that need not be should you not care.
Robots are to be admired. Single mindedly, uncaring, ruthless if need be, it gets the job done. No attachment, no pain, no feelings.
But we are not robots, and can never be. We bleed, we can feel, we can sense, and we can think. And with such traits, comes emotions - elation or despair. We need to want, and be wanted, its part of our emotions that makes us human, and thus through our wants and be wanted, comes the illusive chemical need called love, an attachment to that special someone who meets our needs.
When you found that special someone in this generally uncaring cold and aloof world, who feels exactly how you feel, you will see her as closest to your mirror image - thinks as you thinks, do as you do - leads you to believe this love is true, for the mirror never lies.
But in the end,....we all are only mortal humans, doomed to make mistakes....only a belief in a better tomorrow gives us the courage to open our eyes to a new sunrise...
Have you read my previous reply to this thread?
"Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness" - The Architect
I believe the same could be said for "love".
Either way I look at it, it seems like you are a very intelligent yet sad person comparable to the Sith Lords in the Star Wars Universe.
EDIT: I have just read part of your reply to another thread in this forum.
"It is only a mistake now. No need to compound it and hurt even more, espacially those who love us still. Courage is in us all, for the future is never bleak, only our minds which our thoughts make it bleak, burdened by fear, yearnings and ignorance.
A beautiful life awaits, for there is so much to experience, and the meaningful ones will over-ride the senseless ones we will ultimately come across, that will make us lived a life as it was meant to be and which was preciously gifted to us."
Now you got me all confused..
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Originally posted by darkhour:
Love is a fantasy, a term used for interest n commitment.True love is hard or impossible to find, lust on the other hand is much easier to find n simpler to understand
Most balanced conclusion on this topic.Perhaps I should really share my own thoughts on this...
If one were to say true love didn't exist, there would be a perfect argument for every single piece of evidence that would prove that true love did exist.
For example,
A mother who cannot swim jumps into the rapids to save her 3 year old child from drowning, but dies in the process.
Person X would say that is true love, a mother dying to save her own child.
Person Y would say that is NOT true love, and it is merely part of our nature and instincts as mammals to protect the younger ones from harm so as to ensure the survival of our species.
Another example,
A young boy takes in a hurt puppy and nurses it back to health.
Person X would say that is a form of true love, that is unconditional love. You don't find that everywhere or anywhere.
Person Y would say that is NOT a form of love at all, and that it is once again, part of our biology to preserve life and is merely in-built into our DNA to protect a lesser being as a lion would defend its pride from attack.
Final example,
A couple that has been dating for 12 years finally get married to each other. They have a few kids and live a happy life together.
Person X would say that is also true love, the supposed ideal conclusion to such a long and steady courtship would be blissful marriage. True love, found between wife and husband, and children and parents.
Person Y would say it is part of our nature to ensure the continuation of our species via reproduction.
As you can see, Person X and Person Y could go on with their debate FOREVER.
It's just like the big question, "Is there a God?"
Person A believes in God.
Person B does not believe in God.
Person C didn't care whether there was a God or not.
Person D believes in God, but continues living his hedonistic lifestyle filled with apathy, vanity and sin.
Person E does not believe in God, but continues living his life meanigfully with empathy, helping others whenever he can, making a difference.
So ask me again, "Is there a God?" or "Is true love a real thing?"
The answer is simple, "Make up your own damn mind."
I have, have you?
If you believe in true love, then true love will be very real for you.
If you don't believe in true love, you can never and will never experience or understand what true love is.
So tell me, which one seems like a better choice hmm?
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What is true love? I guess it really depends on each one's definition. Does it exist? Again, it depends on your definition.
If you feel that true love is the same chemistry you need to have throughout your entire life with the entire party, then maybe there isn't true love.
If you feel that true love is simply being there supporting the other party whenever he is down or helping your other party brew coffee in the morning, then maybe there is true love.
It all depends on your expectaion. Simple as that.
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Originally posted by Cheong999:
What is true love? I guess it really depends on each one's definition. Does it exist? Again, it depends on your definition.
If you feel that true love is the same chemistry you need to have throughout your entire life with the entire party, then maybe there isn't true love.
If you feel that true love is simply being there supporting the other party whenever he is down or helping your other party brew coffee in the morning, then maybe there is true love.
It all depends on your expectaion. Simple as that.
+1
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True love is when you want to have a baby with your loved one and grow your baby and protect it like nothing else in this world matters anymore to you.
True love needs to be created, and it's not meant for worship like a religion.
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Originally posted by Downs:
Hi everyone, this is my first ever post. Hope i won't get flamed or whatsoever.
I don't really believe in true love. Is there even such a thing.
Not to offend anyone, but our parents may be together because of reliance. Reliance on one another over the years. And with a son and daughter they just got to carry it on.
Think of it. You can google it. Love does really fade over time, i read about blablabla chemicals that are produced when you "love" someone but it will get lost over time. If you get too involve with your "lover" but already lost your love for her, for example you have children, you wouldnt want to tear the family up. Thus you shut up, you carry on, try to be mr nice guy and try to love her back.
can someone please educate me what true love really is? a lifetime care for your partner with an unending desire for her? or is it just reliance over time and attempts to keep the peace.
How true is 'true'? And if there is true love - does it means there are 'false love' too? The fact is that people are largely deluded by what they see on screen and apply them wholesale, momentarily blurring the lines between scripted drama and reality. What made it worst is that the notion of 'true love' is often a facade used by many love afflicted (development) individual to disguise some undeserving relationships or to perpetuate certain negative behaviors like abuse or possessiveness.
By words alone, it may seemed a little illogical to believe in that notion, but in reality, people are actually accepting such diabolical belief in full scale. And this is rather a wide-spread phenomenon.
It is wide spread not just because people are unenlightened, but more importantly, they perceive karmic relationship as 'beneficial relationship' insidiously wrapped over by the pretty packaging of 'true love' sold to the world today.
Some times people asked me 'Yunhaier, help me see if he/she is the one' (astrological perspective).
I always ask them "so what if I say no? What would you do?"
"Hah? No ah? Like that lor."
From there, it's obvious that my comments wouldn't have matter at all, therefore interestingly, why even bother asking? Rational sense would have stepped in if I said something negative to dismiss all that statements as unfounded, while blind faith will be reinforced upon something positively said by me.
So here's the truth: people decide how 'true' their love is by basing on their own construction of judgement. It is like the postmodernist perspective of reality (that we construct our own reality) - there is no univocal love that binds the superficial concept of 'true love' we gathered from the media - just much variation of the same concept, in which unfortunately is a belief that is susceptible to exploitation or obsessively held by the blinded soul/s.
The concept of true love is a classic deception.
Love is 'true' by our making; it is not given true as our prerogative.
Cheers