Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Platonic Friend?
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i have noticed recently some female friends of mine who themselves have a boyfriend behaving quite intimately with their so-called platonic guy friends. when i inquire, they said they are doing nothing wrong as they are only
friends.
this brings me to wonder: just what are the things which you can/will only do with your gf/bf exclusively?
what or where is the limit (if any) which you can go with your platonic friends?
to what level do you think is acceptable? -
gers...haiz
mi was a good boi last time..no flirting...but .. after tat incident, ... haiz... mi become a virtual buaya liao
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Baby sgboy2004 -
hai... gers.. women.. ladies.....
if only we understand how they think
if only we understand wat they mean
*headache* -
hmm... u sure ar? not vice versa?Originally posted by sgboy2004:gers...haiz
mi was a good boi last time..no flirting...but .. after tat incident, ... haiz... mi become a virtual buaya liao
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Baby sgboy2004
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By the way, its normally always the guys who use the pretext of 'kor kor', etc to allow them to behave even more intimately with their so called 'mei mei', etc. Seen far too much of such lame cases that I totally pout and applause for their lack of creativity to xian zarbo.Originally posted by jeramy:i have noticed recently some female friends of mine who themselves have a boyfriend behaving quite intimately with their so-called platonic guy friends. when i inquire, they said they are doing nothing wrong as they are only friends.
this brings me to wonder: just what are the things which you can/will only do with your gf/bf exclusively?
what or where is the limit (if any) which you can go with your platonic friends?
to what level do you think is acceptable?
Level is interpreted by humans - as long as both parties can accept, that means it is within the acceptable range. Of course, different people have different range.
Cheers -
to me.. i only talk to my friends who are male lor.. i dun have contact with them.. i wun go hit them or wadeva... as for bf.. closer lor....Originally posted by jeramy:i have noticed recently some female friends of mine who themselves have a boyfriend behaving quite intimately with their so-called platonic guy friends. when i inquire, they said they are doing nothing wrong as they are only friends.
this brings me to wonder: just what are the things which you can/will only do with your gf/bf exclusively?
what or where is the limit (if any) which you can go with your platonic friends?
to what level do you think is acceptable? -
I've got a friend who is on extremely close terms with another male friend. They claim to be having a platonic relationship but the guy always feels empty without the girl and vice versa. The girl already has a boyfriend but I still see her sitting so damn close to the male friend, and mostly when she smiles, it's when she's with that male friend. And the two of them even hug when they see each other.
It really makes me wonder who it is that she really likes. And well, I may be conservative, but I really don't think a girl should sit so closely (they're practically stuck together) to a guy who isn't her boyfriend, especially since she's attached. -
but sometimes maybe it is the gal who want the guy to be her kor kor then??such as my caseOriginally posted by Yunhaier:By the way, its normally always the guys who use the pretext of 'kor kor', etc to allow them to behave even more intimately with their so called 'mei mei', etc. Seen far too much of such lame cases that I totally pout and applause for their lack of creativity to xian zarbo.
Level is interpreted by humans - as long as both parties can accept, that means it is within the acceptable range. Of course, different people have different range.
Cheers when meeting net friends the gals one to be my god sis...ya i agree with u on "Level is interpreted by humans" but friends and bf should have certain degree of intimacy... -
If the girl wants and xian you somehow - then different case altogether. But it isn't as common as the guy's case.Originally posted by garylin:but sometimes maybe it is the gal who want the guy to be her kor kor then??such as my case when meeting net friends the gals one to be my god sis...ya i agree with u on "Level is interpreted by humans" but friends and bf should have certain degree of intimacy... -
i have a girl friend, who also has a very close guy friend.. she obviously has feeling for him.. but she didn't want to start a relationship with him.. i asked her why?? and her answer to this is that she do not want to lose a good friend..Originally posted by MooKu:I've got a friend who is on extremely close terms with another male friend. They claim to be having a platonic relationship but the guy always feels empty without the girl and vice versa. The girl already has a boyfriend but I still see her sitting so damn close to the male friend, and mostly when she smiles, it's when she's with that male friend. And the two of them even hug when they see each other.
It really makes me wonder who it is that she really likes. And well, I may be conservative, but I really don't think a girl should sit so closely (they're practically stuck together) to a guy who isn't her boyfriend, especially since she's attached. -
I have the same thinking as your fren too..I have a very good guy fren..I told him i would not want to have bgr with him because i want him to be with me for a lifetime as a fren..selfish thinking lah..Lovers, when things turn sour and ends up going separate ways, they can't possibly be frens or even keep in contact.Originally posted by eric_jugonz:i have a girl friend, who also has a very close guy friend.. she obviously has feeling for him.. but she didn't want to start a relationship with him.. i asked her why?? and her answer to this is that she do not want to lose a good friend..
To what extent is a guy considered a fren? To me, a guy fren can do all the things a bf can do, but he cannot love me lor..Of course, no kiss, no sweet talk etc..I would care for my bf as much as i care for my guy fren...
All these actually depends on the girl herself.. -
Watched "Smallville" every wed, 2300hrs?Originally posted by browniebaobao:I have the same thinking as your fren too..I have a very good guy fren..I told him i would not want to have bgr with him because i want him to be with me for a lifetime as a fren..selfish thinking lah..Lovers, when things turn sour and ends up going separate ways, they can't possibly be frens or even keep in contact.
To what extent is a guy considered a fren? To me, a guy fren can do all the things a bf can do, but he cannot love me lor..Of course, no kiss, no sweet talk etc..I would care for my bf as much as i care for my guy fren...
All these actually depends on the girl herself..
Da relation btwn Clark & Launa is wat platonic frens can only be... (my view anywae) They cannot go a step up to bgr... -
i always feel ready to puke and vomit on such kind of person. they seemmingly do not know the difference of between being intimate with your gf/bf and being intimate with your normal platonic friends. they tend to mix everything up. whatever level they can get with their bf/gf they can get with their normal friends too. too much. this is just too much.Originally posted by Yunhaier:By the way, its normally always the guys who use the pretext of 'kor kor', etc to allow them to behave even more intimately with their so called 'mei mei', etc. Seen far too much of such lame cases that I totally pout and applause for their lack of creativity to xian zarbo.
Level is interpreted by humans - as long as both parties can accept, that means it is within the acceptable range. Of course, different people have different range.
Cheers
nowadays relationships have lost its exclusivity, its privileges. i really wonder what people are seeking nowadays. if what they do with friends can equate to what they can do with their bf/gf, then i cannot see any purpose of them having a relationship from the start. perhaps this is one big reason why relationships nowadays are getting shorter and shorter.
damn. the more i see such things happening, the more disheartened i get. -
i've seen alot of these.....some things are meant to b like that...u can't explain y....
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so what u are saying is that the only difference between your bf and your good guy friend is the kissing and sweet talk part? and in any case, you treat both of them pretty much the same?Originally posted by browniebaobao:I have the same thinking as your fren too..I have a very good guy fren..I told him i would not want to have bgr with him because i want him to be with me for a lifetime as a fren..selfish thinking lah..Lovers, when things turn sour and ends up going separate ways, they can't possibly be frens or even keep in contact.
To what extent is a guy considered a fren? To me, a guy fren can do all the things a bf can do, but he cannot love me lor..Of course, no kiss, no sweet talk etc..I would care for my bf as much as i care for my guy fren...
All these actually depends on the girl herself..
interesting. simply interesting. -
that should always be the way what...but perhaps nowadays these traditions and values do not come into play anymore?Originally posted by cHeR|sH^LoVe:to me.. i only talk to my friends who are male lor.. i dun have contact with them.. i wun go hit them or wadeva... as for bf.. closer lor....
people are striving constantly to be westernized and more OPEN MINDED. yeah thats the word. open.
maybe 10 years down the road kissing every body in your class when you go to school in the morning would become a common thing. -
prostrate...
I AGREE WITH JERAMY!!
some girls have problems with physical intimacy so when they get attached they don't have any physical intimacy with their bf. so what's the fricken point?
so in a bgr there's emotional support. but in a friendship there can be support too. so what's the fricken point?
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i guess its the feeling. if there's chemistry then go up to bgr. but sometimes people feel physically attracted to their friends. ha! so its getting more complicated isn't it....
Love ain't lust. Friendship ain't love. what if you have a mix of EVERYTHING?
how do you know when its really love?
jeramy...care to answer my queries?
[/b] -
Originally posted by Herself:
i wouldn't feel so disheartened if i knew the answers to your queries. society had changed and evolved so much, that the morals and values which i believe in my whole life is simply non-existent today.
prostrate...
I AGREE WITH JERAMY!!
some girls have problems with physical intimacy so when they get attached they don't have any physical intimacy with their bf. so what's the fricken point?
so in a bgr there's emotional support. but in a friendship there can be support too. so what's the fricken point?
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i guess its the feeling. if there's chemistry then go up to bgr. but sometimes people feel physically attracted to their friends. ha! so its getting more complicated isn't it....
Love ain't lust. Friendship ain't love. what if you have a mix of EVERYTHING?
how do you know when its really love?
[b]jeramy...care to answer my queries? [/b][/b]
seriously speaking, i just cannot bring myself to accept all these talk about 'open-ness', being open and all the crap. but, this is just the way things are isn't it? either we force ourselves to accept, or we remain single forever?
perhaps my parents were at fault, for instilling such conservative values in me. perhaps i should teach my children (if i have any) in the future to be as open as they can be, so that they can survive better in this crude society? perhaps perhaps perhaps.
anyway back to your point if there's chemistry then go up to bgr? the point? just a status? haiz.
perhaps this what being open is all about, mixing everything together. love, lust, friendship, affections, feelings, physical imtimacy.
haiz.
perhaps
perhaps
perhaps -
my gf used to behave like that also. always being touchy whenever talk to some of her frenz. makes me get very irritated. talked to her about it and she told me that its 'her' way of talking and that she has always been like that. i told her that its so 'flirty' and she got so angry with my remarks. so i told her that i shall let her feel how is it like.Originally posted by jeramy:i have noticed recently some female friends of mine who themselves have a boyfriend behaving quite intimately with their so-called platonic guy friends. when i inquire, they said they are doing nothing wrong as they are only friends.
this brings me to wonder: just what are the things which you can/will only do with your gf/bf exclusively?
what or where is the limit (if any) which you can go with your platonic friends?
to what level do you think is acceptable?
abt 15 mins later a gal who used to like me came up to me and started talking. she also started to get touchy with me. seeing this my gf got so angry. thats when i showed her that it is the same feeling i got. now she is VERY much better. although she does get touchy sometimes, i ignore it as i feel must give n take sometimes. overall, i feel if u talk it out with the person, that person might come to see ur point provided u show them examples.
what or where is the limit (if any) which you can go with your platonic friends?
to what level do you think is acceptable?[/b][/quote] -
ya i agree with u that maybe i too have been brought up conservatively? when i realise that my gf is my first after all my years of existence and i m her countless bf although she is younger than me, i felt so disappointed. nevertheless, things are goin very well. sometimes i feel that its gd that she had so many relationships before as she is now much better equipped than me and therefore we can manage the relationship betterOriginally posted by jeramy:i wouldn't feel so disheartened if i knew the answers to your queries. society had changed and evolved so much, that the morals and values which i believe in my whole life is simply non-existent today.
seriously speaking, i just cannot bring myself to accept all these talk about 'open-ness', being open and all the crap. but, this is just the way things are isn't it? either we force ourselves to accept, or we remain single forever?
perhaps my parents were at fault, for instilling such conservative values in me. perhaps i should teach my children (if i have any) in the future to be as open as they can be, so that they can survive better in this crude society? perhaps perhaps perhaps.
anyway back to your point if there's chemistry then go up to bgr? the point? just a status? haiz.
perhaps this what being open is all about, mixing everything together. love, lust, friendship, affections, feelings, physical imtimacy.
haiz.
perhaps
perhaps
perhaps -
Hai, sound so much like a situation I'm used to be... Got his frd whom I really like... Almost every frds of mine whom saw her thought she was my gf due to the closeness we are during outside. When I decided to break lose this situation and ask her if she does like me, the reply I got from her was nothing... perhaps.. a silent / indirect rejection pa?Originally posted by MooKu:I've got a friend who is on extremely close terms with another male friend. They claim to be having a platonic relationship but the guy always feels empty without the girl and vice versa. The girl already has a boyfriend but I still see her sitting so damn close to the male friend, and mostly when she smiles, it's when she's with that male friend. And the two of them even hug when they see each other.
It really makes me wonder who it is that she really likes. And well, I may be conservative, but I really don't think a girl should sit so closely (they're practically stuck together) to a guy who isn't her boyfriend, especially since she's attached. 
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What were you implying huh? Would u consider marrying a fren and not your stead? Funny!Originally posted by jeramy:so what u are saying is that the only difference between your bf and your good guy friend is the kissing and sweet talk part? and in any case, you treat both of them pretty much the same?
interesting. simply interesting. -
love is slowly losing its real value in ppl now.it's really sad.
guys and girls just want to have fun now without any obligations.just like ppl treat sex as nothing now.isn't it ideal if those that really treasure a loving r/s be pair with one another while those who just want to have fun just let them continue their fun??then there would not be so many broken hearts out there... -
Love is hard to define and i think none of us have the answer....maybe some pple think they have it. so share it then. but anyways love's definition definitely differs from person to person so the way they show it and the way they love is very diverse.
some people get married but they haven't realised or truly loved before...what i'm trying to say is that they may not be 100% in love with each other but are married anyway. the reason varies as well as the range of the sky and sea.
so love with all your heart or what's left of it i guess.
conservative views or not, i'm sure love is supposed to make you happy. but of course there's intense sadness involved. if there's none then its not love is it?
its a sad life.